My Imperial Advisor is ChatGPT

In the sweltering summer of Xianyang, the heat is like a giant steamer. The cicadas chirp desperately, as if trying to tear a hole in the stifling air.

Inside a side hall of the Qilin Palace, several huge ice basins were emitting a cool breeze, but this coolness was immediately swallowed up by the heat wave surging in from outside the hall.

Ying Zheng did not sit on the dragon throne that symbolized power, but instead slumped unceremoniously on a specially made bamboo recliner. He wore an extremely thin linen garment and held two walnuts in his hands, turning them very slowly.

"Inhale...exhale..."

Ying Zheng closed his eyes and followed the rhythm of Little G in his mind, practicing "abdominal breathing." This was a new health preservation method he had learned, which was said to increase lung capacity, oxygenate the blood, and prevent the "stroke" that terrified him.

"His Majesty."

Zhao Gao tiptoed in, carrying a bowl of dark, murky medicine. It was a heatstroke prevention soup that Xia Wuqie had modified based on "artemisia juice," with the addition of licorice and mint. Although the taste was still strange, at least it didn't taste like horse urine anymore.

"Put it there." Ying Zheng opened his eyes, but instead of immediately drinking the medicine, he pointed to the newly written edict on the table.

"Zhao Gao, come and see how well I've written this 'Edict of Self-Reproach'?"

Zhao Gao was so frightened that he almost dropped the medicine bowl.

"Your Majesty! You are the greatest emperor of all time, your achievements surpassing even the Three Sovereigns and Five Emperors. What crime have you committed? This... this edict of self-reproach is absolutely unacceptable!" Zhao Gao knelt down with a thud, his head banging loudly. In the Qin Dynasty, an emperor issuing an edict of self-reproach was a major event, usually signifying divine wrath and popular resentment, or the onset of an inexplicable major disaster.

"Get up. I told you to look, not to wail." Ying Zheng calmly turned a walnut. "Who says an edict of self-reproach has to be a tearful apology?"

Zhao Gao cautiously got up and went over to look at the scroll.

The inscription above was written in vigorous and powerful small seal script:

"I have heard that the way of Heaven is far, while the way of man is near. In the past, I sought immortality and the Dao, and there were followers of Lu Sheng who falsely claimed to summon lightning, which almost burned down the Epang Palace. This was my fault, not the wrath of Heaven, but the blindness of my wisdom."

"However, thunder is not divine punishment, but rather the yin and yang energies. Although Lu Sheng is foolish, his ambition is commendable. I now understand: immortality cannot be sought, and truth is attained through the investigation of things."

"From this day forward, the alchemists shall be abolished and replaced by craftsmen. The alchemy workshop shall be renamed the 'Chemistry Institute,' and the observatory shall be renamed the 'Astronomical Observatory.' Anyone who can understand the principles of heaven and earth and create instruments that benefit the people will be rewarded with a noble title. Anyone who engages in superstition and misleads the public with superstition shall be executed immediately."

"So be it."

When Zhao Gao finished reading, his eyes nearly popped out of their sockets.

This isn't a self-reproach edict; it's clearly a "scientific declaration"!

Your Majesty used the incident of Lu Sheng blowing up the house to wipe out all those alchemists who had been swindling people out of their money, and incidentally paved the way for the newly established "Academy of Natural Sciences".

"Your Majesty... is wise!" Zhao Gao exclaimed sincerely. "By describing the lightning strike as 'the energy of Yin and Yang,' the people will no longer feel that it is Heaven punishing the Qin Dynasty."

"Hmph." Ying Zheng sneered, picked up the heatstroke prevention soup and drank it all in one gulp. "What do ordinary people know? They only believe what they see with their own eyes."

"I wrote this for the scholars of the six states who are still observing. I want to tell them that the winds of Qin have changed. From now on, stop thinking about how to write articles to criticize me, and think more about how to make glass and how to smelt iron."

"By the way, Zhao Gao," Ying Zheng changed the subject, his gaze falling on Zhao Gao's face, which was somewhat blackened by smoke and fire, "How's your memorization of the 'Periodic Table' I had you recite?"

Zhao Gao's face fell instantly, even more desperate than when he heard the edict of self-reproach.

"Your Majesty, this servant...has memorized it. But..."

"Recite it and let me hear it."

Zhao Gao took a deep breath, like a condemned prisoner about to be executed, and began mechanically reciting the string of "incantations" that were meaningless to him:

"Hydrogen, helium, lithium, beryllium, boron; carbon, nitrogen, oxygen, fluorine, neon; sodium, magnesium, aluminum, silicon, phosphorus; sulfur, chlorine, argon, potassium, calcium..."

He recited it haltingly, with an odd tone, and coupled with his bitter and resentful expression, he looked just like a clumsy Taoist priest performing an exorcism.

As Ying Zheng listened, the corners of his mouth couldn't help but turn up slightly.

"Hey G, doesn't he look like a 'chemistry shaman'?"

[It's very similar. But Your Majesty, rote memorization is only the first step. Next, he needs to be put to work on experiments.]

Chemistry is an experimental science. Only after frying and acidifying it a few times can one truly understand the power of these "incantations."

Ying Zheng nodded, interrupting Zhao Gao's chanting.

"Alright, stop reading. It's giving me a headache."

"Just memorizing won't do. I'm giving you a new task today."

Ying Zheng pulled a greasy bar of soap from his sleeve—a rudimentary product made with lard and wood ash under Xiao G's guidance. Although it was yellowish in color and didn't smell very good, its cleaning power was undeniable.

"This stuff is called 'soap.' I tried it when I took a bath, and it's excellent at exfoliating."

"However, this is just a laboratory product. I want you to mass-produce it."

"You'll need something called 'pure alkali.' Go, take your apprentices, go to the saline-alkali land to dig up soil, boil it, and filter it. If you can't get it right, I'll make you copy that periodic table ten thousand times."

Zhao Gao took the slippery bar of soap, feeling utterly helpless and on the verge of tears.

From alchemy to cement making, from glassmaking to soap making, he, the head of the Imperial Carriage Office, had completely transformed into the "Chief Chemical Engineer" of the Qin Empire.

"This servant... obeys the decree."

……

Meanwhile, outside the Qilin Hall.

Li Si paced back and forth in the corridor, his brow furrowed. His quick steps revealed his extreme anxiety.

"Your Majesty, Prime Minister."

A gentle voice came from behind.

Li Si turned around and saw Fusu striding towards him. Although this eldest son had now taken off his short tunic and put on a dark robe befitting his status, the competence and sharpness that emanated from his very bones could not be concealed.

"Young Master," Li Si bowed respectfully, his expression complex.

"Does the Prime Minister seem to have something on his mind?" Fusu asked with a smile.

Li Si sighed and pointed towards the Qin Straight Road in the distance.

"My lord, it's not that I'm overthinking it. It's that the 'points system'... has a problem."

"There's a problem?" Fusu was taken aback. "Wasn't the straight road being built quite quickly? I heard that the first section of the project was completed ahead of schedule."

"It's because it's too fast!" Li Si lowered his voice, his tone urgent. "Those convicts are working like madmen, trying to accumulate enough points to go home as soon as possible. They want to finish the project in half a year instead of the originally planned three-year project."

"But sir, have you considered this? The road is finished, they are free. But then what?"

"That's 100,000 convicts! Most of them are remnants of the six former states, or desperate criminals. Once released, these 100,000 wolves will flood into society. Who will take care of them? Give them land to farm? There isn't that much land. Give them jobs? There aren't that many jobs."

"At that time, these 100,000 unemployed people will be the biggest hidden danger to the Qin Dynasty! If the likes of Chen Sheng and Wu Guang were to raise their arms and call to arms among them..."

Li Si didn't continue, but his meaning was already quite clear.

As a follower of Legalism, he instinctively feared the "uncontrollability." In his view, the safest option was to keep these people locked up on construction sites and building roads for the rest of their lives.

Fusu remained silent.

He had to admit that Li Si was right. This was the growing pain of reform. The old order had been broken, and a new order had not yet been established.

"What does the Prime Minister think?" Fusu asked.

"I believe we should suspend the points redemption system," Li Si said, a glint of ruthlessness in his eyes. "Or, we should raise the redemption threshold. Let them... work a few more years."

"Absolutely not!" Fusu resolutely refused. "A person cannot stand without integrity, and a nation cannot be strong without it. How can the Emperor's golden words be changed so easily? If we go back on our word now, those 100,000 convicts will rebel on the spot!"

"Then what does the young master suggest we do? Release the tiger back into the mountains?"

The two were locked in a fierce battle of wits, neither willing to give in.

Just then, Zhao Gao came out holding the imperial edict.

"His Majesty's decree! Summon the Prime Minister and the eldest son to an audience!"

……

Inside the hall, half of the ice in the ice mirror had melted.

After listening to their argument, Ying Zheng did not immediately express his opinion. He remained lying on the bamboo chair, playing with walnuts in his hand, and closing his eyes to rest.

"Little G, what do you think?"

[Your Majesty, this is a classic example of the risk of "structural unemployment."]

Li Si's concerns were valid, but his approach was flawed. Prevention is worse than cure.

You now hold 100,000 skilled workers who have undergone "labor reform." They can burn cement, pave roads, and build bridges. These are invaluable "industrial workers."

Why let them go home and farm? Why not let them... go and build new cities?

Ying Zheng opened his eyes, a glint of light flashing within them.

"Li Si, your vision is still too narrow."

Ying Zheng sat up and pointed to the south on the map.

"Who says there'll be no work once the road repairs are finished?"

"After the straight road was completed, there was the imperial highway. After the imperial highway was completed, there was the Lingqu Canal. After the Lingqu Canal was completed, there was the Epang Palace, and then the renovation of the sewer system in Xianyang City."

"My Great Qin Dynasty is in dire need of rebuilding; where is there no shortage of manpower?"

"But..." Li Si tried to argue, "The court doesn't have the money to support so many people. Most of the money from the national debt has already been spent..."

"Who said the court should support them?" Ying Zheng laughed, a capitalist's smile. "Let them support themselves."

Ying Zheng looked at Fusu.

"Fusu, your previous 'textile factory' was quite successful. Now, I'm giving you an even bigger undertaking."

"I intend to establish a 'Great Qin Infrastructure Group'."

"Reorganize these 100,000 convicts on the spot. Those who want to go home will be given travel expenses to leave. Those who want to stay will be converted from convicts to 'employees'."

"Pay them wages, build them dormitories, and let them take on construction projects."

"Whose project are we taking on?" Fusu's eyes lit up.

"Let's take on the projects for the nobles of the six states." Ying Zheng pointed to the bustling "Scholarly Families" construction site next to the Epang Palace. "Those nobles who bought land are worried about not finding people to build their houses. Our workers are skilled, disciplined, and fast. Wouldn't everyone be eager to do this business?"

"And another thing," Ying Zheng pointed to the Chu region on the map, "Li Si, weren't you worried that these people would rebel?"

"I intend to extend the 'points system' and 'infrastructure team' model to the Chu region."

"The land of Chu is covered with swamps, making transportation inconvenient, and its people are known for their fierce nature. I want you to go there and build roads, bridges, and water conservancy projects."

"Bring all the idle labor force from Chu to the construction sites. Give them food and money. When they're busy earning money to build houses and get married, who will have time to rebel?"

Li Si was dumbfounded.

This... this is turning "governing a country" into "doing business"?

Turn potential mobs into the Qin Dynasty's construction team?

"Your Majesty... this method... is unheard of." Li Si murmured to himself, "But the measure involved is extremely difficult to grasp. The Chu region is so vast, if the standards vary from place to place, wages will be paid in a mess, and the wrong materials will be used, which will only cause more chaos."

"You've hit the nail on the head." Ying Zheng nodded approvingly.

He stood up, walked to the bookshelf, and took out a strange ruler.

It was a "Qin Dynasty Standard Ruler" made of brass, resembling a vernier caliper.

"This is the second thing I want to talk about today."

"Standardize weights and measures."

Li Si asked in confusion, "Your Majesty, weren't weights and measures standardized long ago? Carts were made to the same width, and writing was standardized..."

"Not enough." Ying Zheng shook his head. "The previous unification was only for the convenience of tax collection. As long as they're roughly the same, it doesn't matter if they're a foot longer or shorter."

"But that's not possible now."

Ying Zheng picked up the Mo family's new product: a screw.

"These are screws that the Mo family just made. They're used to secure carriage wheels."

"If screws made in Xianyang can't be tightened with nuts made in Chu, and my carriage breaks down on the way, am I supposed to have it towed back to Xianyang for repairs?"

"This is the 'industry standard'."

"What I want is not just unification, but 'precision'."

"Li Si, I hereby appoint you as the Director of the 'Bureau of Standards of the Great Qin.' You are to redefine the weights and measures of the Great Qin."

"Even the smallest difference, like a strand of hair, must be subject to a set of rules for me."

"From now on, all items manufactured in the workshops of Great Qin must be interchangeable and universally applicable. If anyone's parts cannot be assembled, I will use this ruler to measure whether their head is also not up to standard!"

Li Si held the intricate bronze ruler, feeling its weight in his hands.

He suddenly understood. His Majesty was using something more stringent and subtle than the law to lock up this vast empire.

The law binds the human heart, while standards bind all things.

"Your subject...accepts the decree!"

……

Stepping out of the Qilin Hall, the heat outside remained intense. But Li Si felt a cool, clear-headed clarity within.

He looked at Fusu beside him and gave a bitter smile.

"My lord, I have spent my whole life cultivating the law. I never thought that in my old age I would have to repair rulers."

Fusu looked at the bustling construction site in the distance, his eyes gleaming.

"Prime Minister, a ruler is also a form of law. Moreover, it is a more effective form of law than swords and knives."

"This Great Qin will eventually change."

……

Meanwhile, in the Shaofu laboratory, Zhao Gao was staring blankly at a pot of bubbling oil and wood ash.

"Hydrogen, helium, lithium, beryllium, boron... carbon, nitrogen, oxygen, fluorine, neon..."

He chanted a spell while sprinkling a handful of salt into the pot.

A miraculous scene unfolded.

The liquid in the pot began to separate into layers, with a thick, white solid precipitating out on top.

"It's done?!"

Zhao Gao trembled as he scooped out a piece, and after it cooled slightly, he rubbed it in his hands. It was slippery and bubbly.

He used this to wash his hands, which were covered in grease and grime.

After rinsing with water, those hands, which were never properly cleaned, became white and clean, and even carried a faint smell of lard.

"A miracle...this is a miracle!"

Zhao Gao was so moved that tears welled up in his eyes.

Although he failed to attract lightning, he created the world's first mass-produced soap.

"If this thing were sold to those clean-loving, wealthy ladies..."

Zhao Gao's treacherous merchant spirit burned fiercely.

"What should we name it? 'Shu Yunrou' is like paper, so let's call this one... 'Bai Yuxiang'!"

"Your Majesty is right, chemistry... it's fucking interesting!"

Just as Zhao Gao was immersed in his dream of getting rich, a carrier pigeon fluttered into the Epang Palace.

That was an urgent report from the south.

Liu Bang and Han Xin's tactics of using "artemisia juice" and "sugar-coated bullets" finally tore a hole in the Baiyue region.

But at the same time, a new and more difficult problem was presented to Ying Zheng.

The South has no shortage of water, but it lacks "good water".

At the construction site of the Lingqu Canal, dysentery broke out due to unclean drinking water.

This time, garlic and artemisia alone may not be enough.

Ying Zheng stood before the map, gazing intently at the Lingqu Canal, which represented the lifeblood of the empire.

"It seems that I need to speed up the progress of my 'Great Qin Medical Academy'."

"Human anatomy...that's a taboo subject."

"However, to save my own life, I'd even summon lightning; what's a few corpses to me?"