My Imperial Advisor is ChatGPT

Although the harsh winter in Xianyang was dispelled by the warmth of heated brick beds and coal, a new kind of trouble quietly arrived with the dry north wind.

That winter, two smells were prevalent in Xianyang. One was the intoxicating smell of raw garlic, a life-saving talisman; the other was a faint burnt smell, the aroma of smoky wood from the city's heated brick beds burning day and night.

The combination of these two flavors, while reminiscent of the grandeur of fireworks in a prosperous era, also brings an extremely awkward side effect—causing internal heat.

Inside the Qilin Hall, it's time for "radio gymnastics" before the morning court session.

The civil and military officials, dressed in tight-fitting "dragon scale thermal underwear" (long johns), stretched their limbs in the cold wind. Hu Hai, holding a megaphone, was still shouting energetically, but today, an extremely discordant note appeared in the procession.

Li Si, the Prime Minister of Qin, who was usually a model soldier with the most standard movements and the most upright attitude, was now making a face and grimacing.

"Second section, squatting exercises!" Hu Hai shouted.

All the officials knelt down in unison.

Li Si, however, was squatting with extreme difficulty. The moment his knees bent, his well-preserved old face instantly turned a deep purplish-red, veins bulging on his forehead, as if he were enduring some kind of extreme torture. His buttocks dangled in mid-air, trembling, unwilling to sit properly.

"Ouch..." A suppressed groan escaped from between the Prime Minister's teeth.

Standing on the high platform, Ying Zheng was resting with his eyes closed, coordinating his breathing, but his ears were very sharp. He opened his eyes, his gaze piercing, and precisely locked onto Li Si's strange posture.

"Li Si." Ying Zheng stopped what he was doing, took the hot towel that Zhao Gao handed him, and wiped his hands.

"Your subject... Your subject is here." Li Si remained in that awkward half-squatting position, his whole body covered in cold sweat.

"What new kung fu are you practicing? One-legged stance? Or Toad Style?" Ying Zheng stepped down from the high platform and circled Li Si. "Looking at your face, your forehead is dark and your eyes are bloodshot. Could it be... you're in a hurry to buy a house next to the Epang Palace, and you don't have enough money?"

"Your Majesty is joking." Li Si smiled bitterly, trying to straighten up, but another piercing pain made him involuntarily clench his legs. "Your Majesty... Your Majesty has just caught a cold recently, and my back and legs are not feeling well."

"A cold?" Ying Zheng squinted.

He looked at the light screen in his mind.

"Little G, scan him. What's wrong with this old man? He walks like a duck."

[Gait analysis in progress...]

[This is combined with their dietary habits (consumption of large amounts of spicy garlic), living environment (long-term sitting on a heated kang bed, prolonged sitting in an office), and facial micro-expressions (a mask of pain).]

[Diagnosis: Hemorrhoids. Specifically, severe incarcerated mixed hemorrhoids.]

[Colloquial expression: His buttocks were bruised and battered.]

Ying Zheng was stunned for a moment, then a very strange smile appeared on his lips.

He sighed inwardly, "This garlic and heated kang bed saved my life, but they've made my backside suffer."

"Li Si," Ying Zheng patted Li Si on the shoulder, making Li Si tremble in fright, "You need to get treatment for your illness. Especially this kind of...unspeakable secret."

"By imperial decree, the Prime Minister will be given a seat at the morning court session. Bring him that... specially made cushion."

Li Si was moved to tears: "Thank you for your great kindness, Your Majesty!"

But what he didn't know was that this was just the beginning of a nightmare.

……

After the court session, Li Si did not return to the Prime Minister's residence to recuperate as he had wished. Instead, he was "invited" by several strong imperial guards to a quiet courtyard next to the Epang Palace.

A new sign hangs here: The First Affiliated Hospital of Daqin Medical College.

As soon as I entered, a strong smell of alcohol and vinegar hit me. Various boiled strips of white cloth were drying in the yard, and several medical students in bleached linen robes were gesturing at several tied-up pigs.

"Your Majesty? Where is this?" Li Si clutched his backside, a sense of foreboding rising in his heart.

"This is the place that will save your life."

Ying Zheng came out of the inner room, holding a small, gleaming knife in his hand—a willow-leaf knife.

Behind him stood the Imperial Physician Xia Wuqie. Xia Wuqie was no longer gripped by the fear he had felt when dissecting the corpse; instead, his eyes gleamed with fanaticism. He wore gloves made of extremely thin sheep intestines (basic medical gloves), and his body was stained with what appeared to be either pig's blood or human blood.

"Your Majesty, I...I'm not sick! I'm just feeling hot and bothered!" Li Si looked at the knife, his legs trembling.

"So much internal heat that you can't sit still?" Ying Zheng toyed with the scalpel. "Little G said that medicine won't help with your condition. You need to have surgery."

"Cut?!" Li Si screamed in agony, "Our bodies, hair, and skin are given to us by our parents! How can you..."

"Here we go again," Ying Zheng interrupted him impatiently. "Xia Wuqie said the same thing last time. And what happened? Now he can butcher pigs better than a butcher."

"Li Si, I ask you: Do you want this extra piece of flesh, or do you want your life?"

"If this drags on any longer, and it becomes infected and leads to sepsis (a new term taught by Little G), even a god couldn't save you. In that case, I'd have to choose a new prime minister for you, what a hassle."

Li Si, seeing Ying Zheng's unquestionable gaze and then Xia Wuqie's eager expression, finally broke down.

"Cut...cut where?"

Xia Wuqie chuckled and pointed to a specially made "operating bed" behind him—actually just a wooden bed with a fixed strap, and two leg supports next to it.

"Your Excellency, please take a seat. Oh no, please get into bed."

……

The operating room was brightly lit. A focusing bronze mirror made by the Mo family reflected the sunlight in and focused it onto the operating table.

Li Si was tied to the bed like a pig waiting to be slaughtered, feeling ashamed and indignant to the point of wanting to die.

"Your Majesty! Could you please have all the unauthorized personnel leave?" Li Si pleaded.

At this moment, besides Xia Wuqie and his two assistants, there was also Ying Zheng in the room, and even Hu Hai, who was always eager to stir up trouble.

"What's wrong with me taking a look?" Hu Hai was sketching on a drawing board. "This is a medical miracle! I want to draw it for future generations!"

"Shut up." Ying Zheng glared at Hu Hai. "Turn around. Don't frighten the Prime Minister."

Ying Zheng walked to the bedside and looked at Li Si, who was covered in sweat.

"Li Si, bear with it. I don't have any anesthetic, but Zhao Gao has gotten you a substitute."

Zhao Duan walked in carrying a bowl of murky liquid.

"Prime Minister, this is an enhanced version of 'Immortal's Intoxication.' It contains datura pollen. Drink it, and I guarantee you'll sleep like a log, completely undisturbed."

Li Si looked at the bowl of suspicious liquid, thinking that he was going to die anyway, closed his eyes, and gulped it down.

The medicine works extremely quickly.

Before half a cup of tea could be brewed, Li Si felt dizzy and the world seemed to spin around him. The Ying Zheng in front of him suddenly multiplied into three. Then, his eyes rolled back, and he let out a deafening snoring sound.

"Make your move." Ying Zheng took a step back and put on a mask.

Xia Wuqie took a deep breath. This was the first time he had ever operated on a living person. Although he had practiced countless times on death row inmates and pigs, this was the Prime Minister! One slip of the hand, and the Qin Dynasty would be without a Prime Minister!

"alcohol disinfection!"

The assistant poured a bottle of strong liquor onto the affected area.

"Device it!"

Xia Wuqie steadied himself and precisely slashed with the willow-leaf knife in his hand.

Fresh blood gushed out.

"Hemostats!" Hemostats are small iron clamps crafted by the Mohist school.

"Suturing!" They used absorbable sutures, which can be absorbed by the body and do not need to be removed.

The entire process lasted less than half an hour. Ying Zheng stood aside and witnessed it all. Although he didn't understand medicine, he could feel the shock of this "physical therapy".

There was no shamanistic ritual, no talismanic water.

It involves excision, hemostasis, and suturing.

This is the coldness and efficiency of science.

When Xia Wuqie cut the last thread, let out a long breath, and collapsed to the ground, Ying Zheng led the applause.

"it is good."

"Xia Wuqie, your stroke has ushered in a new era for medicine in the Qin Dynasty."

"From now on, illness is not only something to be 'restored,' but also something that can be 'repaired.'"

……

When Li Si woke up, it was already noon the next day.

He found himself lying in a special care ward in the Epang Palace, his buttocks feeling cool because of a special anti-inflammatory ointment made of allicin and honey.

Surprisingly, the excruciating throbbing pain disappeared, replaced by a slight pain in the wound.

"woke up?"

Ying Zheng sat on the edge of the bed, reading memorials.

"Your Majesty... Your Majesty." Li Si tried to get up and pay his respects, but Ying Zheng held him down.

"Lie down. I grant you a two-week paid leave."

Ying Zheng put down the memorial and looked out the window at the bustling construction site.

"Li Si, you deserved that blow."

"Through your surgery, I have confirmed two things."

"First, surgery is feasible. As long as sterilization is done well, the person won't die."

"Secondly, the datura anesthetic was effective. Zhao Gao has done a great job this time."

"I plan to establish a special 'Surgery' department within the medical school. It will be dedicated to treating wounds, carbuncles, and fractures."

"Think about it, the soldiers on the battlefield who were wounded by arrows and knives. Before, they could only wait to die, or suffer excruciating pain from having the arrowheads pulled out. Now, with anesthesia and suture techniques, they can survive."

"This is tantamount to giving me tens of thousands of elite soldiers out of thin air."

Although Li Si's buttocks still ached, his heart was warmed by what he heard.

"Your Majesty is wise... However, I fear my reputation as 'The First Blade of Qin' will soon spread throughout the world," Li Si said with a wry smile.

"Of course." Ying Zheng chuckled mischievously. "That brat Hu Hai has already finished drawing up a comic strip, ready to be serialized in the Great Qin Daily. The title is 'The Prime Minister's Bedtime Story: On the Love-Hate Relationship Between Garlic and Buttocks.'"

Li Si's vision went black, and he almost fainted again.

……

Li Si's successful surgery was like a pebble thrown into a calm lake, creating ripples all around.

The Qin people, who had initially viewed "disembowelment" as witchcraft, began to re-evaluate this skill. After all, even the prime minister had undergone the procedure, and he was alive and kicking afterward, which meant it was reliable!

As a result, the entrance to the Epang Palace Medical College was almost broken down by the crowds.

There were wealthy businessmen with tumors, veterans with broken legs, and even women in difficult labor brought in for help. Although current technology doesn't allow for cesarean sections, episiotomies have begun to be tried.

Xia Wuqie was so busy that he had to apply to Ying Zheng to increase the number of students.

For Ying Zheng, however, the advancements in medicine were merely an interlude in the transition from winter to spring that year.

The real challenge was that with the migration of people and the emergence of nascent industries, the Qin Dynasty's "water" supply was insufficient.

Xianyang City originally relied on wells and the Wei River for water. However, as the population surged to 500,000, the groundwater level dropped, and the wells dried up. As for the Wei River... due to discharges from upstream paper mills and wool washing factories, the water quality began to deteriorate significantly.

Although Ying Zheng strongly advocated "drinking boiled water," this could only kill bacteria and could not remove chemical pollutants and heavy metals from the water.

On this day, Fusu brought a "Water Quality Test Report of Xianyang" to Ying Zheng.

"Father, we can't drink like this anymore." Fusu pointed to the murky water in the bottle. "The medical school said that there are many more people in the city with goiter and hair loss recently. Teacher G said that the water is poisoned."

Ying Zheng looked at the bottle of water, his brows furrowed.

The cost of industrialization came faster than he had imagined.

"Little G, what should we do?"

Your Majesty, this is an inevitable growing pain in the process of urbanization.

You need to establish a modern "city water supply system".

[Water intake: Water is drawn from mountain springs deep in the Qinling Mountains, avoiding the polluted area of ​​the Wei River.]

Water supply: laying pipelines.

Water purification: Establish sedimentation tanks and filtration tanks (sand and gravel filtration).

Ying Zheng nodded: "I understand water diversion. The Zheng Guo Canal is for water diversion. But this pipeline..."

He thought of Rome. Little G had said that the Roman Empire, which he had never met, was most skilled at building waterways.

"What should we use for the pipes? Bamboo? Too thin, it rots easily. Wood? It leaks easily."

Ceramic pipe. Or... lead pipe?

Before Ying Zheng could speak, Little G suddenly popped up a huge red skull.

[WARNING! Never use lead pipes!]

The Roman Empire's eventual demise was largely due to lead poisoning. Lead could drive nobles mad, cause infertility, and impair their intelligence.

[Your Majesty, you don't want the descendants of Qin to all become fools, do you?]

Ying Zheng was startled. Lead? Isn't that a common ingredient in alchemy? How could it be so poisonous?

"Then what should we use?"

Cement pipe.

The framework is constructed with steel bars, and the outside is poured with high-grade cement. The inner walls are coated with a layer of glutinous rice paste or tung oil for waterproofing.

This is the ancestor of "prestressed reinforced concrete pipes." Cheap, strong, and non-toxic.

Ying Zheng's eyes lit up.

Cement! Cement again!

This thing is practically a cure-all!

"Send orders to Zhao Gao! And to Fusu as well!"

"I want to undertake a massive project."

"I want the sweet spring water from the Qinling Mountains to flow through cement pipes into every household in Xianyang."

"I want to build... a waterworks."

……

This is an even more meticulous project than building a straight road.

The underground of Xianyang City has begun to be excavated.

Liu Bang led his "Great Qin Infrastructure Team" to undertake the most arduous task of digging ditches.

"Brothers! Dig gently! Don't break the septic tank next to us!" Liu Bang, wearing a mask, stood by the ditch directing the work. "This pipe is for clean water, and that pipe is for sewage! Don't connect them backwards! If the Prime Minister drinks urine, we'll all lose our heads!"

Besides the Qin people, there were also a large number of Xiongnu laborers on the construction site.

Aguda is now the leader of the "underground pipeline laying team". He has not only learned to read blueprints, but also how to apply cement to the joints.

"Team leader, does this pipe really produce water?" a new Xiongnu worker asked.

"Nonsense!" Aguda slapped him on the forehead. "If His Majesty says it's possible, then it is! Once the water is connected, we can install one of those... faucets in our work sheds. Just turn it on, and the water will gush out, even more miraculous than the sacred springs on the grasslands!"

……

Three months later.

Xianyang Palace, in front of the Qilin Hall.

A strange copper device stood there. It was a copper tube with a knob at the end, a spiral valve designed by the Mohists.

Ying Zheng, accompanied by his civil and military officials, gathered around the device.

"open."

Ying Zheng uttered a single word softly.

Zhao Gao stepped forward, his hands trembling, and turned on the knob.

"Whoosh—!"

A stream of clear, sweet spring water gushed out under pressure, and the splashing water refracted rainbows in the sunlight.

"Water! The water's here!"

The officials cheered.

This water was drawn from the Qinling Mountains, thirty miles away. It has undergone three sedimentation processes and two filtration processes. Although it does not yet meet the standards for direct drinking, it is already a fine elixir compared to the turbid well water.

Ying Zheng reached out, took a handful of water, but did not drink it (he insisted on drinking boiled water), instead he washed his hands.

Cool and clean.

"This is 'tap water'." Ying Zheng looked at the gushing water column and felt a surge of pride.

"Little G".

"I suddenly realize that the so-called 'miracles' are nothing more than that."

"What the Dragon King can do, my craftsmen can also do."

"Even better."

"Your Majesty, this is indeed a miracle. However, it is an industrial miracle belonging to humankind."

With this water supply system, the population carrying capacity of Xianyang City can exceed one million.

You are building the first true "megacity" on this planet.

Ying Zheng shook the water droplets off his hands and turned to look west.

"One million..."

How many people live in Rome now?

[Probably... 400,000. And they're still drinking lead-contaminated water; the streets reek of urine.]

Ying Zheng laughed. He laughed heartily.

"It seems that in terms of 'quality of life,' my Great Qin has already taken the lead by a wide margin."

"Pass down the order."

"Each laborer who participated in repairing the water pipes will be given one jin of 'Qin steamed buns' and one jin of pork. Aguda will be awarded the 'Third-Class Craftsman' medal."

"I want the whole world to know that in Qin, not only can you achieve military merit by fighting, but you can also bring glory to your ancestors by diligently repairing pipes!"

As the sun sets, the lights of thousands of homes in Xianyang City come on.

In the alleys where water had just been connected, people excitedly gathered around the public water taps, listening to the gurgling water as if it were the most beautiful melody of this prosperous age.