This Taoist priest is so unprofessional!

Wang Xiaoer sat awkwardly into the car, feeling uncomfortable as soon as his buttocks touched the soft leather seats.

The car was so clean that he felt the mud on his feet was a sin.

Boss Liu glanced at the two men a few more times through the rearview mirror, and finally had the driver start the car.

The car drove into an area shaded by green trees.

Luxury villas of various styles are nestled among flowers, trees, and shrubs, like castles from a fairy tale.

Wang Xiaoer's eyes widened in disbelief.

In his entire life, he had only ever seen houses like this on the town's television.

The car eventually stopped in front of the largest villa in terms of area.

The villa is pure white in a European style, with a fountain and a neatly manicured lawn in front.

A middle-aged man in a butler's uniform was already waiting respectfully at the door.

"Sir, you're back."

Boss Liu nodded and led Zhang Chen and Wang Xiaoer into the villa.

As soon as he entered, Wang Xiaoer was almost blinded by the huge crystal chandelier overhead.

Beneath his feet was a marble floor that reflected his image, and on the surrounding walls hung oil paintings he couldn't understand. A pleasant fragrance filled the air.

"Master Zhang, please have a seat."

Mr. Liu pointed to the expensive-looking leather sofa in the living room.

"Who is this?"

His gaze fell on Wang Xiaoer.

Before Zhang Chen could speak, Wang Xiaoer blurted out, "I...I'm his assistant, he does odd jobs."

He was afraid that Zhang Chen would exaggerate his "domineering aura" again.

Zhang Chen glared at him, then put on an air of superiority towards Boss Liu.

"Boss Liu, let's skip the formalities."

"Let's take a walk around the mansion first and see where the problem lies."

The doubt on Boss Liu's face deepened.

This young man in front of me is young and inexperienced, and his work doesn't seem very reliable.

But he still nodded and made a "please" gesture.

Zhang Chen didn't stand on ceremony. He put his hands behind his back and began pacing around the huge living room.

He walked very slowly, each step as if meticulously calculated.

Sometimes he would look up at the ceiling, sometimes he would look down at the floor, and sometimes he would raise his hand to do some calculations while muttering some strange "tsk tsk" and "hmm hmm" sounds.

Wang Xiaoer followed behind him, feeling as if his toes were digging a three-bedroom apartment out of his shoes.

It's so embarrassing.

Zhang Chen walked around the living room, then took out his precious compass from the Yiwu Small Commodities Market wholesale market from his pocket.

He held the compass in one hand, while his fingers flew across the surface with the other, his brow furrowed and his expression grave.

Boss Liu and the housekeeper stood aside, not daring to utter a sound.

Wang Xiaoer could see clearly that the compass needle hadn't moved an inch from beginning to end!

However, Zhang Chen, holding the compass, acted as if he hadn't seen it. After muttering to himself for a while with his eyes closed, he started moving again, walking from the living room to the dining room, and then up to the second floor.

He paused briefly at the door of each bedroom, sometimes shaking his head, sometimes sighing, perfectly embodying the image of a pretentious charlatan.

As Zhang Chen shook his head and sighed, Boss Liu's expression grew increasingly grim.

Wang Xiaoer's heart also jumped.

He was really afraid that Zhang Chen would be mistaken for a swindler and thrown out at any moment, which would also implicate him, his "accomplice".

Just as everyone in the villa was on edge because of his actions, Zhang Chen suddenly stopped at the door of a south-facing study.

All the expressions on his face vanished instantly, and then he stared intently at the closed door, his eyes becoming sharper than ever before.

After a while, Zhang Chen slowly put down the compass, turned around, and looked at Boss Liu behind him.

That usually playful face was now filled with seriousness.

He raised his hand, pointed at the door, and spoke slowly and deliberately.

"That's where the problem lies!"

All eyes immediately turned to the study door.

Boss Liu's face turned deathly pale instantly. He instinctively took a step back, his voice trembling, "Master Zhang, you...you mean, the root of the problem lies here?"

"Of course." Zhang Chen withdrew his hand, his tone heavy.

He turned to look at Wang Xiaoer, his eyes carrying a warning that only the two of them understood: Don't sabotage me.

Wang Xiaoer pursed his lips, trying to focus his attention on the smooth marble floor beneath his feet, pretending that he was just an ordinary background figure.

Boss Liu swallowed hard. "So what's inside this door...?"

"Boss Liu, your house is situated by the mountain and water, and its layout is excellent."

Zhang Chen began his performance, pacing to the center of the living room, hands behind his back, like an old scholar.

"But feng shui emphasizes the balance of yin and yang. Your villa has an excess of yang energy, yet it has been targeted by an extremely yin entity."

He pointed to the door and lowered his voice: "This thing is neither a ghost nor a demon. It is a kind of 'thought' that is attached to wealth, a kind of 'evil thought' that is attracted by your family's fortune."

Boss Liu was completely confused, but he felt impressed and thought Zhang Chen's words were profound and mysterious.

"Then... what should we do? Should we open the door?" he asked.

Zhang Chen suddenly waved his hand, the movement so large it almost sent his Taoist robe flying.

"Of course we'll open it! But if you open this door rashly, you'll surely disturb it!"

He walked up to the door, examined it carefully, and even lowered his head to sniff the crack in the door.

"This thing has begun to materialize. It's waiting for the right moment to completely take over this room and turn it into its lair."

Wang Xiaoer, watching from the side, felt his toes cramp: Keep pretending.

"Please wait a moment while I prepare a few things."

Zhang Chen stopped talking nonsense, turned around and walked to the corner, where he threw his old cloth bag on the ground with a clatter.

Then, quite naturally, he pulled something out of it—a peach wood sword.

The sword was entirely red, with a crudely carved dragon head on the hilt. The blade even had a cheap, plastic sheen, making it look like something you'd find for 9.9 yuan with free shipping on Taobao.

Boss Liu's lips twitched, and a clear look of disappointment flashed in his eyes.

"Master, this..."

"This is a thousand-year-old peach wood sword, containing the ultimate yang energy!" Zhang Chen threw the peach wood sword aside before Boss Liu could speak.

He then pulled out a second, and most crucial, "magical artifact" from his backpack, as if by magic.

It was a stack of talismans printed on A4 paper.

The talisman paper was standard white, with various twisted red runes printed on it using colored ink. Some of the runes had blurred patches of color due to uneven ink distribution.

Putting aside others, Wang Xiaoer almost couldn't catch his breath when he saw this stack of things.

Printed?

He tried to suppress his laughter and turned his head to the side, but his shoulders began to shake uncontrollably.

Boss Liu was completely dumbfounded. He looked at the stack of talismans, then at Zhang Chen, and his expression changed from confusion to anger.

"Master Zhang, is this... printed?"

Zhang Chen remained completely calm. He raised his chin, his face displaying a confidence and pride that transcended his time.

"Boss Liu, times are changing, and magic must keep up with the pace of technology!"

He picked up a talisman, waved it in front of Boss Liu, and said in a passionate tone, "Do you think a talisman has to be drawn with a brush dipped in cinnabar on yellow paper?"

"That's all outdated!"

He stuck the A4 paper talisman to his chest and slapped it hard twice.

"The essence of talismans lies in 'intention,' 'qi,' and 'thought'!"

"As long as I, Daoist Master, am sincere, it will work!"

"Besides, the printer I use has been blessed!"

His ramblings were delivered with such conviction, and his serious expression made it almost impossible not to believe he was telling the truth.

Boss Liu was stunned by his "fallacies" and couldn't find any words to refute him for a moment.

Zhang Chen seized the opportunity and stuffed the stack of printed talismans into Wang Xiao'er's hand.

"Waiter, come inside with me later and cover this room with them!"

Wang Xiaoer was forced into the situation and had no choice but to bite the bullet, take the stack of papers, and follow Zhang Chen into the bedroom.

The furniture in the bedroom was arranged in an orderly manner, but there was an inexplicable chill in the air.

Zhang Chen pointed to the walls, wardrobe, windows, and even the ceiling.

"Put them on! Put them all on! Not a single one can be missing!"

Wang Xiaoer, like a kindergarten wallpaperer, haphazardly taped together crookedly cut A4 sheets of paper and stuck them in various corners of the room.

The red runes stood out starkly against the white walls, instantly transforming the room from an elegant study into a cheap haunted house.

Boss Liu stood at the door, watching this scene, his face ashen and his body trembling slightly.

He felt cheated, fooled by this unreliable young Taoist priest with a pile of waste paper.

"Master Zhang, don't try to fool me! I paid you a hefty sum to come here!" Boss Liu couldn't take it anymore, his voice filled with suppressed anger.

Zhang Chen stopped what he was doing, turned around, and gave Boss Liu a confident smile.

"Boss Liu, please calm down."

"I'm going to use a sky full of talismans to trap that evil thought inside, leaving it nowhere to escape!"

After Wang Xiaoer finished pasting the last talisman, he stepped back to Zhang Chen's side and whispered, "Brother Chen, is this thing... really useful?"

Zhang Chen didn't even blink, and replied seriously, "Whether it's useful or not is unimportant; the most important thing is the momentum!"

He patted Wang Xiaoer on the shoulder, leaned closer, and said smugly, "Didn't you see Boss Liu's expression? He's clearly been intimidated! If we show our weakness, how are we going to make money?"

Wang Xiaoer was utterly speechless. He finally understood that Zhang Chen's "professionalism" was built on strong mental fortitude and shamelessness.

After the study was covered in talismans and looked like a pile of artwork made of waste paper, Zhang Chen walked to the center of the room.

He picked up the peach wood sword he had bought online, took a deep breath, and began to "perform the ritual".

This set of "methods" is simply the epitome of absurdity.

He first closed his eyes and made a series of rhythmic "ooh-ah-ee-ya" sounds, which sounded like he was imitating the singing style of Peking Opera.

Then, he brandished the peach wood sword again.

The swordplay was completely haphazard; it was more like calisthenics than exorcising evil spirits.

He gesticulated wildly, his steps were unsteady, and he would occasionally trip over the carpet.

"Hurry, hurry, as the law commands! Come, come, come! Go, go, go!!"

"Up, up, down; left, right, left, right; BABA!!"

He suddenly shouted and thrust the peach wood sword into the air, making a finishing move.

The peach wood sword seemed unable to withstand his immense "magical power," and the red paint on the hilt was soaked by the sweat from his palms, leaving a shallow mark on his hand.

Although the whole set of movements was fluid and smooth, it looked particularly comical.

Mr. Liu stood at the door, dumbfounded.

They had seen Taoist priests perform rituals, including burning incense, sprinkling water, and chanting scriptures.

But this kind of attempt, like a monkey trying to catch the moon's reflection, was something he had never seen before.