I was just fishing, how did I become a Great Old One?

We passed through the last thick layer of gray fog, as thick as sesame paste.

My vision suddenly opened up.

But this is not because there was light.

Rather, it was because of... the firelight.

Ahead of the Tree Demon, a... breathtaking scene appeared.

It was a "round table".

It was formed when an entire spiral galaxy was forcibly flattened and solidified by some immense force. The billions of stars in the galaxy transformed into the shimmering patterns on the tabletop.

And in the center of the round table.

There was that… [unspeakable hot pot] on the table.

It's just too big.

Its main body is a supermassive black hole (or white hole, because it is spewing things out) that has been cut in half.

What's boiling in the pot isn't water.

It is... [Chaos Primordial Soup].

It was red, churning, made up of countless shattered dimensions, collapsed laws, and liquefied reality... the bottom of a hot pot of chili oil.

"Glug—"

A bubble burst in the pot.

The size of that bubble is equivalent to that of a solar system.

As the bubbles burst, what was released was not steam, but a dazzling burst of gamma rays and a twisted whisper of the abyss.

"It's...it's truly magnificent..."

Er Gou was lying on the window, drooling all over the floor (although it was scared, its gluttonous instincts made it think the soup smelled delicious).

"This broth... looks spicy enough."

Jiang Li squinted, analyzing the ingredients of the soup through [Void Vision].

"The main ingredient is entropy increase."

"The side ingredients are fear, madness, and lots of high-dimensional chili peppers (possibly some kind of burning nebula)."

"This is not hot pot."

"This is a pot of...embers from the Big Bang."

……

of course.

Compared to a pot.

What's even more sanity-dropping is the... diners sitting around the table.

Although there are only three.

But their presence filled the entire field of vision.

First place:

Sit facing due north (if there is a direction here).

That was a mountain of flesh.

A green, slippery mountain of flesh made up of countless tentacles and scales.

His head resembled that of a giant octopus, with countless thick tentacles hanging from his chin, wriggling unconsciously.

His eyes were closed, as if he were asleep, but the saliva dripping from the corner of his mouth had already formed an interstellar river.

[The Great Old Ones: Cthulhu (The Great Dreamer)]

[Status: Half-asleep (woke up by hunger) / Extremely hungry.]

Second place:

Sit on the left.

It was an indescribable, yellow shadow.

He was wearing a tattered yellow robe that looked as if it were woven from twilight.

Beneath the hood, there was no face, only an endless abyss and a pale tentacle mask.

In His hand He held a huge... fork (actually some kind of trident artifact).

[The Great Old One: Hastur (The King in Yellow)]

[Status: Irritable / Tapping on the table.]

Third place:

Sit on the right.

It was a huge, black, cloud-like mass of matter.

Within this dark cloud, there were countless enormous mouths and countless hooves.

She is the mother of countless children and the greatest foodie in the universe.

[Outer God: Shub Nicholas (The Black Goat of the Woods)]

[Status: Starving / Eating its own tentacles to satisfy hunger.]

……

The three bigwigs sat around the table.

The atmosphere was... extremely oppressive.

It's like going to a restaurant, all the dishes are served, the pot is boiling, but then the waiter tells you... there are no cutlery.

That resentment of wanting to eat something but not being able to.

It transformed into a substantial mental storm, raging across the round table.

"Chopsticks……"

The figure in yellow (Hastur) banged the table (galactic disk) with that fork, making it resound loudly.

"My...rules of the chopsticks..."

"It was...stolen...by that...mouse..."

"Hungry……"

The green octopus head (Cthulhu) let out a low, dreamlike growl.

"There are no chopsticks..."

"Unable to obtain... the core principles..."

"It's too hot to handle..."

……

The Treant was like a speck of dust, hovering on the edge of the round table.

"I see."

Jiang Li understood.

This pot of "chaotic broth" is too hot (high temperature at the conceptual level) and full of chaotic laws.

Even the Great Old Ones would be burned (corroded by the laws) if they tried to grab it directly.

Therefore, they needed a medium—chopsticks.

In other words... [an extension tool for rules].

Come and safely retrieve the food from the pot.

Now, the chopsticks are gone.

The meal fell into a stalemate.

"A mouse?"

Sun Wukong's ears twitched.

"What kind of rat is so bold? Daring to steal these monsters' chopsticks?"

"The universe is vast and full of wonders."

Jiang Li smiled.

"However, this is for us."

"It's an opportunity."

Jiang Li straightened his chef's uniform.

"Since they don't have chopsticks."

"Then we'll... deliver the chopsticks to your door."

"deliver?"

Tang Sanzang was taken aback.

"Benefactor, where would we find such a divine artifact?"

"A divine artifact capable of withstanding the primordial chaos soup... is probably only a supreme innate treasure."

Jiang Li turned his head.

His gaze fell on the two people inside the car.

To be precise.

It was the weapons that fell into their hands.

"Great Sage".

Nezha.

Jiang Li pointed to the golden cudgel in Sun Wukong's hand.

He then pointed to the Fire-Tipped Spear in Nezha's hand.

"I'd like to borrow your weapons."

Let's make a set of... [Mandarin Duck Chopsticks]

……

Sun Wukong: "???"

Nezha: "???"

"Are you crazy?"

Nezha jumped up.

"My fire-tipped spear is for killing, not for picking up food!"

"And... how do you pair these things? One is thick and the other is thin!"

"besides!"

Sun Wukong also refused to comply.

"My old Sun's golden cudgel is a magic staff that can stabilize the seas! You think you can use it to poke that cesspool-like hot pot?"

"How am I supposed to use this in a fight now? It'll smell like hot pot every time I pull it out!"

"Don't be so stingy."

Jiang Li said earnestly.

"This is an old-fashioned hot pot."

"Grinding them in there is like tempering and enchanting the weapons!"

"That's a blessing ceremony!"

"Not only will it not be dirty, it can also be tainted by the laws of the past."

"From now on, every time you hit someone with a stick, it will bring with it mental pollution and sanity damage."

"How cost-effective is it?"

Jiang Li added another sentence.

"and."

"Just let me sit at the table."

"The meat in this pot..."

"I'll share half with you."

……

Hearing the word "meat".

Wukong and Nezha both swallowed hard.

They could smell it from a distance.

That pot of soup looked scary, but the aroma... was absolutely irresistible.

It was a primal, meaty aroma that transcended any dimension and struck right to the soul.

"this……"

Wukong hesitated.

"Alright!"

Nezha threw the gun over first.

"As long as I can eat meat, I'll use the gun... even to unclog the sewers!"

Seeing this, Wukong also threw his golden cudgel over.

"Be careful! Don't bend it!"

……

"That's right."

Jiang Li accepted the two divine artifacts.

Open the hatch.

Take a step forward.

He did not grow larger.

In the presence of these Great Old Ones, growing larger is meaningless.

He still retains a human body shape.

But the aura emanating from him... has changed.

Gluttony Godhood - Complete Liberation.

The Abyss Overlord Set (Black Trench Coat) fluttered in the wind.

Behind him emerged a black phantom, even more greedy and profound than those Great Old Ones.

That is... the Dharma form of the God of Food.

"Everyone."

Jiang Li's voice resounded directly in the minds of the three Great Old Ones through the Gluttony Rule.

"I heard..."

"You need a... waiter?"

……

brush!

Three terrifying gazes instantly focused on Jiang Li.

My sanity is plummeting.

Jiang Li's sanity bar instantly turned red and began flashing wildly.

[Warning! Sanity value: 50/100... 30/100...]

But he doesn't care.

Because he was hungry.

Hunger can cure all diseases.

"Who are you?"

The King in Yellow (Hastur) stopped banging on the table.

Those empty eyes stared at Jiang Li.

"He smells of... the stench of the abyss."

"And... the smell of that awful cook."

"I'm here to help you with your meals."

Jiang Li raised the two divine artifacts in his hands.

"Get bigger!"

Buzz————

The golden cudgel in his left hand instantly grew to a length of ten thousand miles, transforming into a giant golden pillar.

The fire-tipped spear in his right hand also grew larger, its tip burning with white Samadhi fire, transforming into a giant crimson pillar.

One gold and one red.

A stick and a gun.

Although the designs are different.

But under Jiang Li's control, they were like a perfect pair of chopsticks, coming together in the void.

"I have no rules."

"But I have... physics-based chopsticks."

Jiang Li manipulated the pair of giant "chopsticks" and reached them into the boiling chaotic hot pot.

……

"No..."

The green fat man (Cthulhu) issued a warning.

"Mortals...touching chaos...will...go mad..."

"Sizzle—"

The golden cudgel and the fire-tipped spear were inserted into the red oil soup base.

That was a clash of laws.

The power of the Golden Cudgel stabilized the surrounding space.

The Samadhi Fire on the Fire-Tipped Spear merged with the Chaos Fire at the bottom of the pot.

It was not corroded.

instead……

It unleashed an even more intense aroma.

"rise!"

Jiang Li flicked his wrist (actually, he mobilized all his divine power).

The huge chopsticks stirred the pot.

then.

It precisely caught a huge piece of floating food.

That was a piece of... [Eternal Star Snowflake Beef].

(In reality, it is a cooked, richly textured remnant of a gas giant).

"Mr. Hastur".

Jiang Li presented the "fatty beef," still dripping with chili oil and wonton soup, to the King in Yellow.

"Your medium-rare beef."

Please enjoy your meal.

……

The entire room fell silent.

A hint of...bewilderment seemed to flash in Hastur's empty eyes.

He looked at the piece of meat.

She glanced at Jiang Li again.

He hadn't expected it.

This little bug, it actually... got caught?

and……

The meat was pinched between those two strange sticks.

It was actually stained with a layer of... the scent of cause and effect and divine fire.

It smells...

It smells even better now.

"call……"

Hastur extended his tentacles and snatched away the piece of flesh.

Stuff it into the abyss under the hood.

"Glug."

A chilling chewing sound rang out.

then.

Hastana's previously agitated aura calmed down.

"good."

"It has a chewy texture."

He put down the fork in his hand.

He looked at Jiang Li.

"You...take your seat."

"Responsible for...serving food."

……

Thank you.

Jiang Li smiled.

He did not sit down (because there were no chairs, and he couldn't sit down anyway).

He stood by the table, acting as a "dedicated vegetable picker".

"Lord Cthulhu."

"This is your... [Deep Sea Void Shrimp] (a high-dimensional creature that looks like a shrimp)."

Jiang Li picked up a giant red shrimp that was tens of thousands of miles long with his chopsticks and brought it to Cthulhu's mouth.

"Ms. Shub Nicholas".

"This is your... [Nebula Wide Rice Noodles] (a galaxy softened by boiling)."

Jiang Li was performing acrobatics.

He wielded the Golden Cudgel and the Fire-Tipped Spear, soaring and tumbling within that cauldron large enough to devour galaxies.

With each rise and fall, it can precisely scoop up the most exquisite ingredients.

And it was distributed according to the tastes of each of the Great Old Ones.

……

Inside the Tree Demon.

Wukong watched as his golden cudgel was being used like chopsticks, and even stirred around in the pot.

I was so heartbroken I could barely keep my eyes open.

"Oh my... that's my precious baby..."

"Now it's really well marinated..."

Nezha, on the other hand, seemed to be thoroughly enjoying the show.

"Monkey, don't feel bad about it."

"Didn't you notice?"

"Your stick... has changed color."

Wukong looked closely.

really.

Soaked in the primordial broth of chaos.

The golden light of the golden cudgel began to take on a layer of... dark red chaotic patterns.

That's... a sign of the law being upgraded!

"Holy crap?"

"It really can enchant?"

Wukong's eyes lit up.

"Chef! Cook it a little longer!"

"Give me more of that chili oil!"

"The spicier the better!"

……

After several rounds of drinks (although what they were drinking was liquid void).

The dishes had five flavors.

The mood of the three Great Old Ones had clearly improved.

The oppressive madness that filled the universe has also dissipated considerably.

"Humans".

Hastur spoke again.

He seemed to enjoy the meal.

"You...are very sensible."

"It's better than... the food made by Aphrodite (the god of time)."

"Since you've treated us to a meal..."

"We can... grant you one... wish."

……

coming!

Jiang Li was waiting for these words.

He put down the "chopsticks" in his hand.

He wiped away his sweat.

"I dare not accept such a wish."

"only……"

"I heard that any of you have lost something recently?"

Jiang Li asked tentatively.

"Those... chopsticks of rules."

Speaking of chopsticks.

The three big shots' auras became somewhat unstable again.

"It's been stolen."

Cthulhu mumbled something indistinctly.

"A...damn rat..."

"It stole the chopsticks...and escaped to...the depths of the [Dreamland]..."

"It wanted to use chopsticks... to pick up... [Azathoth's]... brain..."

……

puff--

The people in the car almost burst out laughing.

Azathoth's brain?

That blind and foolish god, the lord of all things?

This rat is incredibly bold!

That's suicide!

"If you trust me."

Jiang Li's eyes flickered.

"I can help you... find the chopsticks."

"By the way..."

"Get that mouse..."

"Make it into... [roasted rat slices]."

"certainly."

Jiang Li pointed to the bubbling broth in the hot pot.

"As compensation."

"I want..."

"The soup base in this pot..."

"I want to take it all with me."

……

The three Great Old Ones exchanged a glance (through some kind of mental wave).

Soup base?

That stuff is just dishwater to them.

But for mortals, that is creation-level energy.

"Can."

Hastur nodded.

"As long as you can... get the chopsticks back."

"This pot of soup... is yours."

"in addition……"

Hastur pulled a piece of yellow parchment from his pocket (inside his hood).

There was a distorted yellow mark drawn on it.

"Take this."

"Go to... [Cadas]."

"There is... a door leading to the Dreamland."

……

Jiang Li took the parchment that exuded an ancient aura.

[Item: The Yellow Sign (the pass for the King in Yellow)]

[Function: A VIP ticket to the Dream Realm. The holder is immune to attacks from the Dream Guardians.]

"make a deal."

Jiang Li put away the parchment.

Retrieve the Golden Cudgel and the Fire-Tipped Spear (at this point, the two divine artifacts have completely changed, emitting a chilling red light).

Enjoy your meal, everyone.

"I'll be right back."

Jiang Li turned around and returned to the Tree Demon.

"Ergou! Drive!"

"Target: [Dreamland]!"

"Go catch that... rat that wants to eat your brains!"

……

The Treant spewed flames and left the round table.

in the car.

Wukong held his golden cudgel, which had turned dark red and was emitting a strong hot pot smell, with great affection.

"This flavor... is really strong!"

"If that blow lands, won't the monster be burned to death first?"

Nezha also looked at his Fire-Tipped Spear.

The Samadhi True Fire at the tip of the spear has now transformed into... Chaotic Demonic Fire.

"It was worth it!"

"This free meal was totally worth it!"

Jiang Li sat in the driver's seat.

Looking out the window at the even more bizarre and fantastical starry sky.

The corners of her mouth were slightly upturned.

"Dreamland..."

"A mouse that steals chopsticks..."

"And... Azathoth's brains?"

"sound……"

"The ingredients for the next stop..."

"This is even more exciting!"