I was just fishing, how did I become a Great Old One?

A dreamlike realm, on the banks of the Skye River.

When the enormous, stilted treehouse (the Tree Spirit) rumbled to a stop on the riverbank, the sight before them made everyone hold their breath.

This is an ancient and peaceful city.

The stone-paved streets meandered, the pointed-roof houses stood close together, and lavender-scented smoke billowed from the chimneys.

If you ignore the eerie double moons and the purple sky, this place looks like a fairytale town.

but.

There are... quite a lot of "residents" in this town.

Moreover, they are not human.

"Meow--"

"Meow—"

The streets are full of cats.

On rooftops, walls, streetlights, and even clotheslines.

Black, white, yellow, spotted, hairy, hairless...

Thousands upon thousands of cats were coldly watching the uninvited guests with their glowing eyes.

Location: Ulthar.

[Rule: No one may kill a cat (The Law of Ulthar).]

[Note: Here, cats are the embodiment of gods. If you step on a cat's tail, you might be wiped out by the entire city's rules.]

……

"So many...so many cat demons!"

Er Gou (now in Snoopy form) was so scared that his legs were trembling.

It instinctively wanted to call out, but dared not.

"Boss... I have a bad feeling."

"As a dog, I feel like this is hell."

"No."

Tang Sanzang (Jin Chanzi) was holding onto Er Gou's pilot's hat tightly, hiding his golden cicada body in the downy fur.

"For this humble monk, this is hell."

"Cats eat insects!"

"Amitabha Buddha, this humble monk's flesh looks so fragile..."

……

"Calm down, everyone."

Jiang Li straightened her Alice-style dress and held the huge silver fork in her hand.

"As long as they don't cause trouble, cats are very docile animals."

"We're here to find that mouse, not to pet the cat."

The group carefully descended from the treehouse and entered the city of Usa.

The cats on the street didn't attack them; they simply made way for them with graceful steps.

But their gazes are always focused in the same direction—the city's central square.

There.

A... war of gods is taking place.

……

"Squeak squeak squeak—"

A piercing, chilling laugh shattered the tranquility of Ussa.

In the center of the square.

A huge, upright, black rat is standing on the head of a cat god statue.

It was three meters tall, wearing a tattered starry cloak and a comical clown mask.

But in its claws, it held two... "chopsticks" that exuded the aura of supreme laws.

The chopsticks looked as if they were made from some kind of unidentifiable bone, with twisted runes flowing across them.

[BOSS: The Star Thief]

[Race: Outer God's Kin (Giant Rat from Saturn)]

[Equipment: Chopsticks of Rules (Activated).]

[Purpose: To pluck my beard to make a non-slip mat.]

……

On the opposite side of the giant rat.

It was a... huge, semi-transparent, spirit-like black cat.

It was larger than an elephant and radiated a sacred moonlight.

It is the guardian deity of Usa, and also the projection of the cat god Bastet in this dream.

"Get out! You filthy thief!"

The black cat let out an angry roar.

Countless materialized cats (an army) surged toward the giant rat like a tidal wave under its command.

"Meow!!!!"

Thousands upon thousands of cats pounced at once; the scene was enough to overwhelm everything.

but.

The giant rat, however, remained completely unperturbed.

"Squeak squeak squeak!"

It waved the "rule chopsticks" in its hand.

"folder!"

It gently clamped.

The void is distorted.

The dozens of cats at the very front were actually caught between those chopsticks...

It wasn't that the body was trapped.

Instead, it traps the "space" around them.

"Get out of here!"

The giant rat flicked its wrist.

Those dozens of cats, along with the space itself, were thrown hundreds of meters away like trash.

"Squeeze again!"

It clamped again.

This time, it caught the "moonlight wave" emitted by the cat god Buster.

That's an energy attack!

It got stuck between two chopsticks?

"tasty!"

The giant rat put the moonlight it had caught into its mouth and chewed it with a crunch.

"The taste is a bit bland."

It laughed.

"Is this the power of the Cat God?"

"Can't even handle a pair of chopsticks?"

"Hurry up! Hand over your beard!"

"These chopsticks are so slippery! They keep slipping from my hand when I try to pick up the planet!"

"I'm going to use your divine beard to wrap a layer of anti-slip tape around it!"

……

"This is outrageous!"

Sun Wukong (holding a banana stick) was furious.

"I, Old Sun, despise these petty thieves the most!"

"I beat that Yellow Wind Monster to a pulp back then!"

"Awesome!"

Wukong somersaulted over.

"Monster! Eat my old Sun's... banana!"

He lifted the giant banana and smashed it hard against the giant rat's head.

"Huh? A monkey?"

The giant rat turned its head and looked at Wukong descending from the sky.

It did not hide.

Instead, he picked up his chopsticks.

"folder!"

hum!

Wukong felt a sudden lightness in his hand.

His banana stick, which was incredibly heavy... was actually held firmly by those chopsticks.

Moreover, it clamped down on the seven inches.

"Squeak squeak squeak!"

"These bananas are great!"

"It's mine now!"

The giant rat gave a strong tug.

A strange force of rules emanated from it.

That's... the rule of [forcible acquisition].

"Let go!"

Wukong felt his strength drain away in an instant, and the banana stick slipped from his hand.

"My stick!"

Wukong was greatly alarmed.

"Give it back to me!"

"Give you a damn fart!"

The giant rat stuck the banana stick behind its back (as a spare dry food).

Then he swung his chopsticks and smacked Wukong.

"screw you!"

Snapped!

Wukong was sent flying back like a ball.

He fell heavily at Jiang Li's feet.

"It hurts so much!"

Wukong rubbed his buttocks.

"Those chopsticks are really weird!"

"That's a weapon governed by rules! My physical attacks are ineffective!"

……

"It's really weird."

Jiang Li looked at the swaggering giant rat.

"Those are the creatures that the Great Old Ones eat."

"In its rules, everything can be 'caught' and everything can be 'eaten'."

"Forcibly taking it won't work."

"and……"

Jiang Li pointed to the group of angry but helpless cats around him.

"If we make too much noise and hurt these cats..."

"This will trigger the death rule of Usa City."

"What should we do then?"

Nezha (in the form of a New Year's picture doll), standing on two fireballs, asked angrily.

"Are you just going to watch it pluck its whiskers?"

"Of course not."

Jiang Li's lips curled up slightly.

He took out the all-purpose black pot from his dream backpack.

"Dealing with rats."

"The best solution is not to fight."

"It's... a mousetrap."

"And the best mousetrap..."

"It's woven with flavor."

……

Jiang Li walked to the edge of the square.

He didn't rush in directly.

Instead, they set up a pot.

"Ergou, light the fire (even though it's a dream, we still need to have a sense of ritual)."

"Alice, help me analyze this."

What do cats like most?

What do mice like best?

Alice (now a wind-up doll) quickly calculated.

"Cats: High in protein, taurine, and catnip."

"Rat: High in calories, fermented flavor, cheese."

"very good."

Jiang Li nodded.

"Then let's make one... [Double Flavor]."

"On one hand, there are stimulants for cats."

"On one side is the last meal for the rats to be beheaded."

……

Step 1: Cat food.

Jiang Li took out the tentacles of the Void King Squid that he had caught in the gray fog.

There is also deep-sea bluefin tuna (data version).

"minced!"

Lightsabers (forks) flew, chopping the fish into a paste.

then.

Jiang Li took out a plant of... [Abyss Catnip].

This thing is amazing.

Regular catnip can make cats excited.

Abyss catnip... can make cats evolve.

"Juice it!"

Green catnip juice is mixed into the fish paste.

Make them into delicate catnip fish balls.

Step 2: Bait.

This is the key.

Jiang Li took out a piece of... [Mature Blue Cheese from the Galaxy].

The taste of this stuff... well, how should I put it?

To humans, that's a biological weapon (smelling like stinky feet).

But for mice...

That is... the fragrance of the gods.

"heating!"

Jiang Li placed the cheese on one side of the pot and melted it slowly over a low flame.

As the temperature rises.

A strong, almost tangible, pungent odor began to spread across the square.

……

"Slurp..."

The Star Thief (Giant Rat), who was confronting the Cat God, suddenly twitched his nose.

"What does it taste like?"

"It smells so good..."

"This is... cheese that's been fermenting for ten thousand years?"

Its movements slowed down.

The chopsticks in his hand unconsciously drooped down.

As a mouse (albeit a member of the Outer Gods), its resistance to cheese is... zero.

On the other side...

Those originally angry cats.

At this moment, everyone became restless.

Because they smelled another scent—catnip fish balls.

"Meow~~~~"

Thousands of cats simultaneously emitted that... drunken meow.

Their pupils dilated.

The hair on its body began to glow.

……

"Now!"

Jiang Li shouted loudly.

"Serve the food!"

"Great Sage! Nezha!"

"Scatter these fish balls...at the cats!"

"Throw that biggest piece of cheese...at that mouse's feet!"

"Okay!"

Although Wukong no longer has his staff, he's still good at throwing things.

Nezha also grabbed handfuls of fish balls and scattered them like a celestial maiden scattering flowers.

slam-la-

The fish ball landed on the ground.

"Meow!!!!"

The cats have gone mad.

The cat that ate the Abyss Catnip Fish Ball mutated instantly.

Their size doubled.

The claws transformed into sharp, alloy-like blades.

The speed has increased tenfold.

The once docile house cat instantly transformed into... a berserk war cat.

"Charge!"

"For the dried fish!"

"For Cat God!"

The cats surged towards the giant rat like a tsunami.

……

And that giant rat.

However, they are now facing a huge crisis.

Because there was a piece of melting cheese steaming at its feet.

That flavor... it's so addictive.

You can even see the golden sheen emanating from the cheese.

"To eat... or not to eat?"

"This is a trap!"

"But the smell...it's so delicious!"

In that instant of hesitation...

The frenzied horde of cats had already charged in front of them.

"Get out of here!"

The giant rat instinctively tried to use chopsticks to pick up the cat.

but.

Its other hand, however, uncontrollably reached out towards the cheese on the ground.

Multitasking!

flaw!

"squeak!"

Its chopsticks missed.

Because its attention was distracted by the cheese.

A mutated tabby cat (the strongest fighter) seized the opportunity to jump onto its shoulder.

"Snap!"

It bit down on its wrist.

"ah!!!"

The giant rat screamed in agony.

With a tremor of his hand, the chopsticks of rules... fell.

……

"Chance!"

Jiang Li's eyes narrowed.

"Great Sage! Snatch the chopsticks!"

"Here I come!"

Wukong dashed over on a somersault cloud (though in the dream it was a flying carpet).

The moment the chopsticks hit the ground.

He grabbed it.

"Ha ha ha ha!"

"What goes around comes around!"

"Now the chopsticks are in my hands, Old Sun!"

Wukong held those ivory-like chopsticks.

Instantly, I felt a surge of power to control all things.

"Dead rat!"

"You just took my banana, didn't you?"

"Now……"

"I'll sandwich you up like a... meat sandwich!"

Wukong waved his chopsticks.

Facing the giant rat that was being attacked by a group of cats.

"folder!"

hum!

An immense power of rules descended.

The giant rat, still greedily devouring cheese, was instantly frozen in mid-air.

It felt like being gripped by an invisible hand.

"Squeak! Let me go!"

"Cheese...my cheese..."

It was still thinking about that bite of food.

……

"Well done."

Jiang Li walked over.

He looked at the giant rat that Wukong was holding in mid-air with chopsticks.

Then I looked around at the group of cats who seemed perfectly content after taking their medication (catnip).

At last.

He looked at the translucent cat god Buster.

"Revered Goddess."

"The thief has been caught."

"Your beard... is saved."

A hint of human-like gratitude appeared on Buster's enormous cat face.

It lowered its head.

With its barbed, illusory tongue, it gently licked Jiang Li's forehead (this is the highest form of etiquette among cats).

[System notification: You have received the "Blessing of the Cat God".]

[Effect: In any world, feline creatures will regard you as the "God of Cat Owners." Luck +10.]

"In return."

The Cat God's voice echoed in Jiang Li's mind.

"This mouse..."

"It's for you."

"Do whatever you want with it."

……

"You gave it to me?"

Jiang Li looked at the fat, still struggling Star Thief.

Although it is a mouse.

But it is... Saturn's giant rat.

Moreover, they eat starlight and drink water from the Milky Way.

The meat quality should be...

"Since the goddess has spoken..."

Jiang Li licked his lips.

He pulled out the black pot from behind his back.

"Then I won't stand on ceremony."

"Perfect."

"I haven't finished that piece of cheese yet."

"How about..."

"Let's get rid of this 'thief'..."

"How about making... [Baked Shrimp (or Rat) with Cheese]?"

"No, or rather..."

Jiang Li looked at the terrified eyes of the giant rat.

"Let's make it into... [Beggar's Mouse]."

"Wrap it in the mud of Usa City and slowly roast it with the fire of Samadhi."

"must……"

"Very flavorful."

……

"squeak!!!!"

The giant rat understood.

It was so scared it peed its pants.

"Don't eat me!"

"I'm very useful!"

"I know Azathoth's secret!"

"I also know... the recipes of the Great Old Ones!"

"Don't kill me!"

"I'll be your...guide!"

……

Jiang Li's hand froze in mid-air.

"menu?"

"Guide?"

He thought about it.

indeed.

The Dreamland is too vast, and ahead lies the Cold Plains and the Unknown Cardas.

Having a local rat as a guide is definitely more convenient.

"Alright."

Jiang Li put away the scapegoat.

"He may be spared the death penalty, but he cannot escape punishment."

"Wukong".

"Put an IUD in it."

"IUD?" Wukong was taken aback.

"Put a...tightening headband on it."

"Okay!"

Wukong chuckled mischievously.

Take back the banana stick you stole.

Then he plucked a hair and blew a breath of immortal air on it.

A golden collar appeared.

It was put around the giant rat's neck.

Listen carefully.

"From now on, you'll be our...treasure-hunting mouse."

"If you dare to run..."

"I'll just chant the incantation."

"Let me show you... what it feels like to have your brains splattered."

……

that's it.

The crisis in Usa was averted.

Jiang Li not only retrieved the [Chopsticks of Rules] (the chopsticks of the Old Ones).

They also recruited a Star Thief as their guide.

more importantly……

He became an idol for cats all over the universe.

"Let's go."

Jiang Li played with the pair of ivory-like chopsticks.

"With these chopsticks..."

"Next stop..."

"Then we can go..."

"For that Azathoth..."

"He underwent brain surgery."