I was just fishing, how did I become a Great Old One?

The core of chaos, the court of Azathoth.

After passing through the distorted stargate opened by Nyarlathotep, the Treant did not enter a planet, but instead arrived directly in a void where no coordinates existed.

This is the center of the universe.

It is also the source and the grave of all laws, time, and space.

"It's so noisy!!!"

As soon as he landed, Sun Wukong painfully covered his protruding ears, and almost bent the golden cudgel in his hand (which was now in the form of chopsticks).

"What kind of lousy music is this?"

"It's a million times worse than those monks chanting sutras!"

indeed.

What filled this space was not silence, but a maddening noise.

Countless formless dancers (servants of the Outer Gods) floated in the chaotic void. They held flutes that only appeared in nightmares, playing monotonous, shrill, and utterly melody-less demonic sounds.

"Woo-ri-wa-la-"

Accompanying the flute music were hundreds of enormous drummers, as big as mountains of flesh, frantically pounding the Void Drum.

"Thump! Thump! Thump!"

The rhythm is completely chaotic.

Each strike triggers a small-scale spatial collapse.

Jiang Li frowned, and the Gluttony Divine Spark on his body automatically activated a soundproof barrier, protecting the people behind him.

"This is a requiem."

Jiang Li looked at the enormous entity in the distance.

"It's used to... lull that big baby to sleep."

……

At the heart of these crazy musicians.

In that core known as ultimate chaos.

Floating there was a... indescribably huge mass.

He has no fixed form.

Sometimes it resembles a burning nebula, sometimes a pile of rotting flesh and blood, and sometimes an aggregate of countless bubbles.

He is wriggling.

He is boiling.

He is... talking in his sleep.

Every whispered dream, somewhere in the universe, can give birth to a new galaxy or destroy an old civilization.

[The Ultimate Unspeakable: Azathoth (the god of blind folly).]

[Status: Lord of All Things / Chief of Demons.]

[Status: Sleeping (drooling).]

[Danger Level: Cosmic Reboot Level.]

……

"This is... God's ancestor?"

Er Gou (in Snoopy form) hid behind Jiang Li's legs, too scared to even wag his tail.

"It looks...like a pot of burnt porridge."

"That's right."

The faceless man—Nyarlathotep—emerged gracefully from the void.

He waved his cane like the conductor of this frenzied concert.

"He is the origin of the universe."

"If He wakes up in a bad mood, the universe will be reset."

"If He wakes up in a good mood, the universe can survive."

Nyarlathotep's starry face came close to Jiang Li's.

"Now."

"The banquet has been prepared (referring to the previous hot pot dinner)."

"The chopsticks have been found too (referring to the ones in Wukong's hand)."

"All that's left is... to wake Him up."

"cook."

"Please begin your performance."

"Use your 'staple food'..."

"Let this picky creator... wake up with a craving."

……

"Wake-up service?"

Jiang Li looked at the bubbling Azathoth.

Then I looked around at the noise makers.

"To wake someone up."

"The best way is not to shake him."

"But..."

"Make a sound at his bedside that... he can't resist."

"And...taste."

Jiang Li unbuttoned her Alice in Wonderland-style dress and changed into a snow-white top-grade chef's uniform.

"Great Sage".

"These flute players are too noisy."

"Go, teach them..."

"What is... rhythm?"

……

"Okay!"

Wukong had long been fed up with these guys who were blowing their broken flutes.

"Men! Get to work!"

Wukong somersaulted onto the heads of the group of outer god servants.

The chopsticks in his hand (the golden cudgel) instantly grew larger.

"Shut up, all of you!"

"Listen to me!"

"Thump!"

A stick was used to hit a drummer on the head.

The dull drumbeat instantly changed tone.

It turned into a crisp "clang!"

"Nezha! Lend me your Wind Fire Wheels as clappers!"

"Ergou! Don't just stand there, bark for me!"

Under Wukong's forceful coercion.

Those unseen flutists were forced to change the tune.

It's no longer that nauseating, monotonous noise.

Instead, it became...

"Boom boom boom! Boom boom boom!"

A highly rhythmic, rock-and-roll-inspired... background music for stir-frying.

……

"That's right."

Jiang Li nodded in satisfaction.

"Once we have the rhythm, we can... fire."

At the center of this universe.

Jiang Li did not use an ordinary pot.

He set his sights on... an accretion disk next to Azathoth.

It was a gravitational vortex that was devouring stars; it was extremely hot and incredibly smooth.

"This is my... iron plate."

Jiang Li stepped onto the accretion disk.

"Alice, apply the oil!"

"yes!"

The Treant's fuel tank opened, spewing out a stream of golden Void Whale Oil.

"Sizzle—"

Hot oil is poured onto the accretion plate.

It burst forth with a dazzling golden light.

……

"Since it's a staple food..."

"And it must be able to awaken the Creator."

"Then it must be a dish that is groundbreaking and unprecedented."

Jiang Li's gaze locked onto the floating nascent stars around him.

Those stars were still young, radiating a pure light, like... golden eggs.

What I need to do is…

"【A groundbreaking creation: Singularity Golden Fried Rice】".

Step 1: Extract the eggs.

"Nezha! Go and catch me a few suns!"

"I want the kind that's just hatched! The yolk (core) must be tender!"

"receive!"

Nezha rode on his Wind Fire Wheels, transforming into a streak of light and rushing into the nebula.

A short while later, he returned pushing three enormous, blindingly white nascent stars.

"Smash it!"

The lightsaber in Jiang Li's hand transformed into a giant kitchen knife.

Take a picture of those three stars.

"Snapped!"

The star's outer shell (photosphere) is broken.

The golden, thick plasma egg liquid flowed out.

The egg mixture falls into the accumulator.

"boom!"

An eggy aroma (the scent of nuclear fusion) that could illuminate the entire dimension rose up.

……

Step 2: Rice.

"Where's the food?"

Tang Sanzang (Jin Chanzi) asked from the side.

"Sir, rice doesn't grow here."

"Who said we were going to use rice?"

Jiang Li pointed to the chaotic ground beneath his feet.

"This is the origin of the universe."

"The sands of time and space here..."

"It's the best... rice."

Jiang Li grabbed it with his large hand.

The Gluttony Godhood is activated.

He forcibly gathered together the shattered timelines and solidified spatial fragments around him.

Rub it in your hands.

It transformed into grains of translucent, multicolored rice.

"Put it in the pot!"

slam-la-

Billions of tons of spacetime rice were poured into the pot.

Mixed with the golden star egg liquid.

……

Step 3: Stir-fry.

This is the most crucial step.

Every grain of Time-Space Rice must be coated with Star Egg Liquid.

The goal is to achieve a perfect fusion of chaos and order under high temperatures.

"Great Sage!"

"Lend me one of your chopsticks!"

"Use it as a shovel!"

"Catch!"

Wukong threw down a giant golden cudgel.

Jiang Li hugged this pillar that held up the sky.

He began his craziest adventure in the center of the universe... flipping a wok.

"Hey! Ha!"

Jiang Li brandished his golden cudgel.

Each time it flips, it causes the surrounding galaxies to rotate.

"Sizzle! Sizzle!"

The rice bounced on the hot plate.

That sound was no longer noise.

That was... the echo of the Big Bang.

Each grain of rice bursts open, creating a miniature universe, then quickly shatters, transforming into ultimate umami flavor.

……

Step 4: Finishing touch.

"Just one last bit... chopped green onions."

Jiang Li looked at Nyarlathotep, who had been watching the show the whole time.

"Black Pharaoh".

"Can I borrow something from you?"

"What?" Nyarlathotep was taken aback.

"I'll borrow the starry sky above your head."

Jiang Li didn't wait for his reply.

Just reach out and grab it.

He plucked a handful of starlight from Nyarlathotep's faceless form.

"you!"

Nyarlathotep covered his face (though he had no face), as if his beard had been plucked.

"Sprinkle with chopped green onions!"

Jiang Li crushed the starlight.

Sprinkle it into the pot.

moment.

The golden fried rice is adorned with sparkling stars.

……

【Dish Name: Singularity Golden Egg Fried Rice】

[Rank: Genesis Level (Universal Supreme Staple Food)]

[Description: Using the accretion disk as the pot, nascent stars as eggs, spacetime fragments as rice, and ancient starlight as scallions. Each bite represents the birth and destruction of a universe.]

[Aroma Index: Enough to penetrate any dream and awaken all dormant consciousness.]

……

"alright!"

"Take it off the heat!"

Jiang Li shouted loudly.

That pot of egg fried rice, as big as a mountain of gold, burst forth with indescribable radiance and aroma.

This aroma.

It's not aimed at the nose.

It is aimed at...the origin.

It is the taste of "existence".

It's the taste of "being alive".

……

"Gurgle..."

At the heart of that chaos.

That enormous, slumbering mass—Azathoth.

Suddenly... it stopped.

His body no longer unconsciously expands and contracts.

His destructive ramblings also came to an abrupt end.

The invisible dancers around them were all so frightened that they lay prostrate on the ground.

"Lord...Lord is awake?"

"We're doomed! The universe is about to reboot!"

but.

It did not restart.

"Sniff...sniff..."

A huge...black hole suddenly appeared on Azathoth's massive body.

That's not a black hole meant to devour.

That was a... nose (probably).

He is hearing.

He smelled that... a scent that made him feel incredibly hungry and incredibly warm.

"Hungry……"

A clear idea spread throughout the entire universe.

It's no longer the ravings of madness.

It is a simple, pure... physiological need.

……

"woke up!"

Nyarlathotep was so excited that he danced with joy.

"He really woke up!"

"And... he doesn't have morning grumpiness!"

"He was just... hungry!"

Jiang Li was carrying the pot of fried rice (although the pot was bigger than the Earth).

It flew to Azathoth's side.

"Good morning... no, good night... no, that's not right either."

"Anyway, once you wake up, you have to eat."

"This is your...breakfast."

Jiang Li brought the fried rice to Azathoth's mouth (the large crack where Nebula's saliva was dripping).

……

"Awoo."

Azathoth opened its massive maw.

He swallowed the whole pot of fried rice in one gulp.

"Boom!"

That was the sound of chewing.

That was the sound of satisfaction.

With this mouthful of rice down my throat.

Azathoth's body was originally extremely unstable and constantly on the verge of collapse.

Surprisingly, things started to stabilize.

The wildly thrashing tentacles retracted.

The radiation that caused sanity to drop to zero also disappeared.

He transformed into a... quiet, enormous sphere of light, savoring the delicious food.

"tasty……"

"warm……"

"I'm not sleepy anymore..."

……

"It's a success!"

Wukong and Nezha excitedly high-fived.

"This is... saving the universe?"

Tang Sanzang clasped his hands together and looked at the now docile leader of the demons.

"Amitabha."

"A single meal of kindness is more meritorious than building a seven-story pagoda."

"Benefactor Jiang, your culinary skills... have transcended cause and effect."

……

"It's not over yet."

Jiang Li wiped his hands.

Looking at Azathoth, who was now fully awake and eagerly awaiting the next dish.

He then pointed to the star gate next to him that led to the hot pot restaurant.

"We've finished our main course."

"It's time to eat... a proper meal."

Jiang Li waved to Azathoth.

"Big guy."

"Walk."

"I'll take you... to have hot pot."

"There's... lots of meat there."

……

"Meat?"

Azathoth's body trembled.

"go……"

"I want to go..."

He slowly moved his enormous body and squeezed into the stargate.

……

An old parliament building, with a hot pot round table.

Cthulhu, Hastur, Shub Nicholas.

The three Great Old Ones are waiting anxiously.

"Why haven't they arrived yet?"

Where are my chopsticks?

"The soup is almost boiled away!"

Just then.

The stargate opened.

Jiang Li led the group out.

Followed by.

A massive figure that even these three bigwigs found suffocating...

They forced their way in...

"Boss?!"

Cthulhu was so frightened that his tentacles stood erect.

"Lord Azathoth?!"

Hastur dropped the fork in his hand to the ground.

"How...how did He wake up?!"

Shub Nicholas stopped eating her own tentacles.

……

"take it easy."

Jiang Li held those enormous chopsticks (the Golden Cudgel and the Fire-Tipped Spear).

He tapped on the table.

"It's here to... share a table."

Jiang Li pointed to the largest empty seat.

"Lord Azathoth."

"Please take a seat."

then.

Jiang Li looked at the boiling hot pot of wontons.

And the surrounding group of stunned Great Old Ones.

A fanatical smile curled at the corners of his lips.

"Everyone."

"Now that everyone is here..."

"Then let's..."

"Let's begin!"