I was just fishing, how did I become a Great Old One?

R'lyeh, the rising city of dreams, before the temple gates.

As the sea level violently trembled, the magnificent and bizarre city was finally fully revealed to the world.

This is a city that completely defies human architecture and even the laws of physics.

The massive stone pillars twist at impossible angles; seemingly leaning to the left, yet upon closer inspection, they bend to the right. The reliefs on the walls appear alive, changing shape as the gaze shifts. Every corner here is filled with the mad aesthetics of "non-Euclidean geometry."

"Ouch……"

Sun Wukong covered his head, leaning swaying against his golden cudgel.

"What's going on here? I, Old Sun, was walking in a straight line, so how did I end up going in circles?"

"And these steps... they look like they're going up, but why do they go down when you step on them?"

Tang Sanzang (the cyber monk) closed his eyes and stopped the data sunglasses' analysis function.

"Amitabha."

"Wukong, don't look with your eyes."

"The laws of space here have been rewritten. What is seen is not what is gained, and what is gained is not what is real."

"Simply put, it's... a map bug."

……

Just as everyone was confused by this chaotic space.

"BOOM!!!"

In the heart of the city, the tallest monolithic temple, seemingly reaching straight to the sky, slowly slid open its doors.

A greenish, foul-smelling, and putrid aura of death erupted like a volcanic eruption.

In this wave of air.

A massive, suffocating figure emerged with heavy steps.

He is like a moving mountain.

Its entire body was covered in slippery, green, gelatinous scales. On its back was a pair of tattered bat wings that were not yet fully unfolded.

But what is most terrifying is His head.

It was a huge, mollusc-like... octopus head.

Countless thick, slippery tentacles wriggled and waved at His chin. Each tentacle was covered with suckers, and inside the suckers seemed to be countless tiny, screaming mouths.

[Final Boss (This Volume): Cthulhu.]

[Title: Lord of R'lyeh / Sleeping God / High Priest.]

[Status: Just woke up / Extremely grumpy upon waking / Extremely hungry.]

[Mental Pollution: An indescribable fear (one glance reduces 100 sanity points).]

……

"Who is it...?"

Cthulhu did not speak, but His voice exploded directly in everyone's minds.

It was a sound like countless bubbles bursting on the seabed, thick, deep, and with a maddening buzzing.

"Who...is at my doorstep...?"

"Cook my...believers?"

"They even added...minced garlic?"

Cthulhu's enormous, malevolent yellow eyes pierced through the gray fog and locked onto the Treant, which was hovering in the air.

And on the deck...

That plate of "Stargazing Pie" that we hadn't finished eating yet.

"Damn... ants!"

"You've woken me from... a magnificent dream!"

boom!

Cthulhu is enraged.

It stretched out a huge hand with sharp claws (or a collection of tentacles) and slammed it down on the Treant.

This palm strike carried an overwhelming pressure, even shattering the surrounding space and revealing dark void cracks.

……

"Such arrogance (in physics)!"

Er Gou (the Chaos Devouring Dog) was blown around several times by that stench.

"Woof! Is this the Great Old One? Its breath stinks even worse than mine!"

Stop joking! Defend!

Jiang Li stood at the very front of the deck, without backing down.

"Alice! Activate the [AT Field]!"

"Nezha! Great Sage! Block His hand!"

"I need to go...get the ingredients!"

"Get the ingredients?!"

Nezha charged forward on his Wind Fire Wheels, shouting as he did so.

"Are you crazy! You're still thinking about food at a time like this?"

"This is a god! Not an octopus!"

"There is no God in the eyes of a cook."

Jiang Li tightened his grip on Occam's razor, his eyes gleaming with fanaticism.

"As long as there are tentacles..."

"Anything that's a mollusk..."

"That's... the ingredient for takoyaki."

……

Battle broke out.

Sun Wukong transformed into a ten-thousand-foot-tall golden ape, his golden cudgel reaching the sky and standing tall, forcefully blocking the palm strike that Cthulhu was about to unleash.

"Get up!"

boom!

A collision of immense force.

The city of R'lyeh trembled.

Although Wukong possessed immense strength, he was still forced to bend his legs and make his golden cudgel creak in the face of this indescribable divine power.

"So heavy! This thing looks soft, how come it's so heavy!"

"Heavenly Silk! Bind!"

Nezha's Hun Tian Ling transformed into a red chain, binding Cthulhu's other arm.

"Tang Sanzang! Stop chanting! Help us!"

"Amitabha."

Tang Sanzang forms a mudra with both hands.

"Great Mighty Heavenly Dragon! World-Honored Ksitigarbha!"

"【Physical Exorcism - Cybergatling】!"

The Buddha light behind Tang Sanzang transformed into countless Gatling guns, spraying golden Buddha light bullets that struck Cthulhu.

"Da da da da da—"

Although the damage wasn't high (the opponent's health bar was too thick), it successfully drew aggro.

……

Jiang Li's actions.

While his teammates drew aggro.

Jiang Li moved.

He did not attack Cthulhu's vital points (that level of being is very difficult to kill).

His goal was clear—

The whiskers on the chin.

"Ergou! Take me flying!"

"Woof!"

Er Gou transformed into a streak of black light, carrying Jiang Li, and charged toward Cthulhu's head with an extremely bizarre S-shaped movement (to avoid the spatial distortion of non-Euclidean geometry).

Nearly.

closer.

A nauseating fishy smell wafted over me.

Jiang Li could even see the rows of sharp teeth inside the suckers of those tentacles.

"This is it!"

Jiang Li locked onto the thickest, brightest, and most bouncy-looking tentacle.

"This one has at least ten thousand times the collagen content of a Deep Diver!"

"Occam's Razor... [Deconstruction Slash]!"

brush!

Jiang Li leaped off Er Gou's back.

The razor in his hand drew a perfect arc in the air.

This single strike severed cause and effect, severed space, and severed...

The nerve connection of that whisker.

"Pfft—"

Green divine blood gushed out.

The tentacle, which was a hundred meters long and as thick as a bucket, snapped off instantly.

……

"roar----!!!"

Cthulhu let out a cry of pain.

Not because of pain (He has no pain receptors), but because...it was embarrassing.

The mighty former rulers.

I just woke up.

It got its beard shaved off by an ant?

"You ant! I'm going to devour you!"

Cthulhu abandoned Wukong and Nezha, and all its tentacles danced wildly, swirling towards Jiang Li.

"run!"

Jiang Li hugged the enormous tentacle (which was as heavy as a mountain).

"Ergou! Receive the goods!"

Er Gou grabbed the whiskers and ran away.

"Get out of here!"

……

The group fought and retreated, miraculously shaking off Cthulhu's direct pursuit by taking advantage of the chaotic spatial structure of R'lyeh, and hiding in a relatively safe side hall.

This side hall was filled with huge stone pillars, which were just enough to block Cthulhu's enormous body.

"Huff... huff..."

Wukong plopped down on the ground, panting heavily.

"This monster... is too troublesome."

"It's indestructible, indestructible, and just looking at it gives you a headache."

"My old Sun's golden cudgel is almost corroded by the slime on its body."

"fine."

Jiang Li patted the huge tentacle beside him that was still wriggling slightly.

A satisfied smile appeared on his face.

"It's worth the price."

"I've got this..."

"We can then make one..."

"A comforting breakfast that would silence even the gods."

……

Cooking begins.

Location: Corner of the side hall of R'lyeh.

Step 1: Make the mold.

To make takoyaki, you need a mold.

Jiang Li glanced at the incredibly hard R'lyeh greenstone floor beneath his feet.

"Great Sage! Time to get to work!"

"Use your golden cudgel! Poke a hole in the ground here!"

"Poke a hole?"

"Yes! Poke rows of semi-circular pits!"

"Just like the teppanyaki grill used for takoyaki!"

Although Wukong didn't understand, he still did as instructed.

"Thump! Thump! Thump!"

The golden cudgel fell like raindrops.

Dozens of semi-circular dents, each a meter in diameter, were quickly poked into the hard temple floor.

Jiang Li used Samadhi True Fire (provided by Nezha) to heat these pits until they were red-hot.

This is a natural... stone slab barbecue grill.

……

Step Two: Deal with the whiskers of God.

Jiang Li raised the razor.

Facing the still twitching tentacle.

"This meat is too tough; a regular knife can't cut it."

"We have to cut along its...dreamlike texture."

Jiang Li closed his eyes, feeling the energy flowing inside the whiskers.

"Swish swish swish—"

A flash of light appeared.

The enormous tentacles were cut into countless fist-sized pieces of meat.

These diced meat pieces were translucent, glowing with a green light, and seemed to be jumping around in the plate.

"This is... the living flesh of God."

……

Step 3: Prepare the batter.

Use the same recipe as before: Gray Mist Flour (Rationality Particles) + Seawater.

Add two more [Void Progenitor Eggs] (the egg whites left over from last time).

Mix well.

The batter had a chaotic gray color, as if stars were spinning inside.

……

Step 4: Baking.

"Pour the oil!"

Jiang Li poured black pork fat into the abyss.

Shila-

Smoke was rising from the stone pit.

Pour in the batter.

Add the diced meat of the Tentacles of God.

Add diced enchanted pickled bamboo shoots (for flavor), chopped onions, and shredded cabbage (Abyss Plant Version).

"change!"

Jiang Li was holding two huge iron sticks (transformed from the Golden Cudgel).

His hand speed is incredibly fast.

Giant octopus-shaped pancakes were flipped over in the stone pit.

"Sizzle sizzle—"

As it heats up.

The diced meat struggled violently in the batter, releasing a large amount of collagen and energy.

The batter gradually turned golden yellow, with a crispy surface and a soft, chewy interior.

A strange fragrance filled the temple.

This fragrance is unlike any I've ever smelled before.

It carries a sense of... the depth of the ocean, the dreamlike quality of a dream, and... the healing power of food.

Even the eerie reliefs on the surrounding walls seemed to soften upon smelling this scent.

……

Step 5: Plating and Sauce.

"Out of the pot!"

Jiang Li served out dozens of giant takoyaki, each a meter in diameter.

Squeeze on the black "Abyss Teriyaki Sauce" (made by simmering kelp and soy sauce).

Squeeze on the white slime mayonnaise.

Sprinkle with green seaweed powder (made from the skin of deep-sea divers, don't ask why).

At last.

Sprinkle with bonito flakes.

The bokuyu-ka here... is a real "wooden fish" (the kind of wooden fish that Tang Sanzang used to strike, but it has been shaved into thin slices).

These bonito flowers swayed in the steam, as if they were dancing.

……

[Dish Name: Takoyaki of the Old Ones - R'lyeh]

[Level: Indescribably delicious.]

[Description: Taken from the tentacles of Cthulhu himself, and baked on a stone slab in the Temple of R'lyeh using a batter made from gray mist.]

[Texture: The outer crust is as crispy as the edge of reality, while the filling is as soft and chewy as the depths of a dream. Biting into the diced meat with tendrils gives you the illusion of kissing a deity (bouncy, sucking sensation).]

[Effect: Cures all "morning grumpiness". Greatly increases maximum Sanity. The user may learn a few Abyss swear words.]

……

"alright."

Jiang Li was carrying a huge plate of takoyaki.

Look towards the entrance to the temple.

There.

A huge shadow had already fallen.

Cthulhu is coming.

His angry tentacles were frantically pounding against the outer walls of the temple.

"Insects! Give me back my tentacles!"

"I will tear you to pieces!"

"Don't rush."

Jiang Li took a deep breath.

Using the power of the Gluttony Godhead, spread the sound.

"Lord Cthulhu".

"Good morning."

"You've slept for so long, you must be hungry!"

"Even though the beard is gone, it can grow back."

"But this meal... [Special Divine Breakfast]..."

"It won't taste good when it gets cold."

……

talking.

Jiang Li threw it with all his might.

They threw the giant plate of takoyaki out of the temple.

"Ergou! Deliver the food!"

"Use your wind!"

"Woof!"

Er Gou opened his mouth and blew.

A gust of wind swept the takoyaki towards the giant octopus head.

……

Cthulhu originally intended to smash these flying objects with a single slap.

but.

When that fragrance entered His nostrils (if He had nostrils).

When He saw the dancing bokuyu flowers on it, and that familiar, intimate feeling from His own body (tentacle flesh).

His movements... came to a standstill.

The instinctive hunger overwhelmed the anger of getting out of bed.

He stretched out a tentacle.

Roll up a giant takoyaki.

It was put into that mouth full of fangs.

"Smack."

Bite it open.

"boom!!!"

That instant.

Cthulhu's savage yellow eyes suddenly... narrowed (turning into crescent shapes).

"Well……"

"What...is this smell?"

"It's still warm..."

"So soft and fluffy..."

"And those diced meats...they're so chewy..."

"This feeling..."

"It's like... going back to... the day the stars aligned..."

"So comfortable..."

"So satisfying..."

……

One after another.

Cthulhu, like a gluttonous child, ate dozens of takoyaki in one go.

After eating.

His enormous body no longer emanated that terrifying, maddening aura.

instead.

He yawned.

"Ha~~~~"

"I'm full..."

"I feel sleepy again..."

He glanced at Jiang Li and the others who were hiding in the temple.

The murderous intent in his eyes faded.

Instead, there is a kind of... laziness.

"Humans..."

"Your offerings... are not bad."

"Even though you shaved my beard... it was very rude."

"But for the sake of this meal..."

"I'm not eating you anymore."

"Get lost."

"Leave my dream."

"Stop... disturbing my sleep."

……

Done.

Cthulhu turned around.

With heavy steps, I walked back to the tallest monolithic temple.

With a loud "boom".

The temple gates were closed.

The suffocating pressure finally disappeared.

……

"call……"

Everyone collapsed to the ground.

"We're saved."

Wukong wiped his sweat.

"This deity... is really easy to please."

"Will you stop fighting if you give me some food?"

"Because for this kind of existence."

Jiang Li put away the razor and looked at the closed temple.

"Our lives are insignificant."

"But a breakfast that can make Him feel 'satisfied'..."

"But it is... a rare treasure."

Jiang Li turned around.

"Let's go."

"Before He realizes what's happening."

"We need to get out of here quickly..."

"and……"

Jiang Li touched the few remaining pieces of Divine Tentacle Meat in his pocket.

"The gains this time..."

"That's enough for us to go...to the next stop."

"There……"

Jiang Li took out the legendary kitchen utensil fragment (a clue given by the Zuan cutting board).

The coordinates on the fragment have been updated.

It points to a more distant and mysterious place.

"【The Heart of the Swarm in StarCraft and the High-Protein Zerg Feast】."

"I've heard about the insects there..."

"The protein content... is fifty times that of beef?"