I was just fishing, how did I become a Great Old One?

M78 Nebula, Land of Light, Plasma Spark Tower Plaza.

This is the holy land of Ultraman.

Normally, this place is filled with a sacred, solemn atmosphere, as well as the humming of high-energy particles.

But today.

This place is filled with... the noise of construction.

"Clang! Clang!"

Swann, piloting an SCV engineering mech, is setting up a massive control panel in the center of the plaza.

What materials were used?

Oh, those are the remains of several Pedanian robots named King Joe from the monster army Belial just brought. This Pedanium alloy is heat- and cold-resistant, perfect for making... a kitchen countertop.

"Ergou! Don't steal those King Joe parts! They're for making a table!"

"Tex! Start a fire! Not for grilling! I want you to sterilize that living metal pot!"

Jiang Li stood in the center of the square, wearing his signature apron (which still had some popcorn crumbs from the Cosmic Emperor stuck to it).

In his hand, he held the fist-sized fragment of plasma spark.

It danced in Jiang Li's hand, radiating a pure, warm, yet extremely dazzling emerald-colored light.

"This is...light."

Jiang Li squinted and sighed.

"Without impurities."

"There is no radiation."

"A pure... embodiment of hope and justice."

He turned to look at the solemn-faced King of Ultra beside him.

"Old man."

"This ingredient... is a bit too hot to handle."

"This kind of light cannot be cooled by physical means because it is a high-dimensional energy in itself."

"I want to make it into a smoothie..."

"We'll need some... special ice."

……

The King of Ultra stroked his long white beard, his red eyes gleaming with wisdom.

"young people."

"The ice in your heart is sometimes colder than the winter of the universe."

"What do you want to use?"

……

Use this.

Jiang Li took out a blue helmet that exuded a chilling aura from his spatial bag (Gluttony Stomach Bag).

The helmet was inlaid with a huge soul gem.

The wails of countless dead spirits lingered all around.

[Item: Helm of Domination - Fragment]

[Source: The Lich King universe.]

[Characteristics: Represents absolute "coldness" and "death".]

……

"Life and death."

"Light and Darkness".

"Hot and cold".

Jiang Li brought the fiery plasma spark close to the cold fragment of the Helmet of Domination.

"Sizzle sizzle sizzle sizzle——————"

No explosion occurred.

Under the suppression of the Gluttony God (who harmonizes all things).

Two diametrically opposed forces began to... neutralize.

Originally, light was invisible and liquid.

After experiencing that extreme, deathly chill.

It's actually starting to... crystallize.

It turned into blocks of... crystal clear, like emeralds and diamonds... blocks of light ice.

……

"It's done!"

Jiang Li's eyes lit up.

"Solid-state light!"

"This is the ultimate base for making smoothies!"

He threw these blocks of light ice into the Cybertronian Engine Ice Crusher, which had been prepared beforehand.

"Swann! Start the engine!"

"Smash it!!"

"Buzz—!!!"

A huge roar of motors filled the air.

The blades in the ice crusher (modified from a necromancer's scythe) are spinning at high speed.

"Shhhhh..."

A very pleasant sound, like the tinkling of wind chimes, rang out.

Countless tiny, shimmering, emerald-colored ice shards cascaded down like a waterfall into the enormous crystal bowl below.

……

"What a nice view……"

Taro, standing nearby, was stunned.

He had never seen plasma sparks take this form before.

Like snowflakes, yet more dazzling.

Each ice shard seems to contain a miniature sun.

……

"It's not over yet."

Jiang Li looked at the bowl full of light shaved ice.

"Eating only ice cream is too monotonous."

"We need to add something extra."

He snapped his fingers.

"682! Take out those Tyranid honey sacs you just collected!"

"SCP-999! Squeeze some happy cream on me!"

"besides……"

Jiang Li looked at the Red Kings not far away, who had been knocked unconscious by Salaka (the orc warlord).

"The flesh of that monster..."

"It looks like...corn?"

"Cut it into small cubes! Sprinkle it on top! Like popping boba!"

……

The finished product is ready.

Five minutes later.

A bowl of the [Special Plasma Aurora Happy Smoothie], enough to drive gourmets across the entire galaxy crazy, is now complete.

It was piled up like a small mountain.

It emitted a jade-green fluorescent light throughout.

It was topped with golden insect honey and white happy cream.

It's also garnished with red Red King meat chunks (which actually have a gummy candy texture).

"The first bowl."

Jiang Li picked up the bowl of shaved ice, which looked like a work of art.

He walked up to the King of Ultra.

"Old man."

"Please...try some."

……

The King's Appraisal

The entire room fell silent.

Zoffy was so nervous that the timer was flashing.

That's plasma sparks! Is it really edible?

The King of Ultra looked at the bowl of shaved ice in front of him.

He did not hesitate.

He stretched out his enormous hand and picked up the McCann spoon.

I scooped out a big spoonful.

"Awoo."

Put it in your mouth.

……

still.

Time seemed to stand still at that moment.

The King of Ultra closed his eyes.

one second.

two seconds.

three seconds.

Sudden.

"Buzz—!!"

A golden light, more dazzling, younger, and more vibrant than before, burst forth from the body of the King of Ultra.

His originally somewhat hunched body (although that was just a character setting) had actually... become upright?

The weariness that once filled his red eyes had vanished.

Instead, there is a kind of... youthful passion.

……

"This taste..."

The King of Ultra spoke.

His voice was no longer aged, but full of energy.

"It was cold... but it ignited a fire in my heart."

"Sweet...yet powerful and substantial."

I feel...

The King of Ultra clenched his fist.

"It's as if I've traveled back... 300,000 years."

"That age... when we were still running passionately for justice."

"This is... the taste of youth!!"

……

"youth?!"

Zoffy and the Ultra Brothers were stunned.

Has Wang... become young again?

Is this shaved ice some kind of miracle cure?!

"I want some too!!"

Taro was the first to rush forward.

"I want to be young too!!" (Even though you're already young).

"queue!!"

Jiang Li tapped Taro's horn with a spoon.

"Everyone gets a share!"

……

Everyone's eating ice cream.

The square in the Land of Light instantly transformed into a giant picnic area.

Jiang Li directed the Deep Blue Chef Team to begin producing smoothies on an assembly line.

"Captain Zoffy, here's your 'Invincible Captain's Meal' (with two extra servings of cream)."

"King Acefa, here is your [Guillotine Slice Smoothie] (with popping candy)."

"Seven, here's your [Head Dart Fruit Platter]."

Each Ultraman held a bowl of glowing shaved ice.

They ate with great enjoyment.

The solemn atmosphere that had permeated the entire Land of Light vanished completely.

Everywhere:

"So icy! So refreshing!"

"Is this what justice tastes like?"

"Another bowl, please! And some Red King's Delight!"

……

A lonely villain.

Amidst this joyful laughter...

There was one person (Ao) who seemed out of place.

Beria.

He hovered in mid-air, still tightly gripping the Ultimate Fighting Device in his hand.

Although Jiang Li had straightened his spine, his depraved heart was still filled with unease.

"A bunch of... idiots."

Beria gritted his teeth.

"That's power! The power to rule the universe!"

"You guys actually used it... as a snack?!"

"Incomprehensible!!"

"This is simply...depraved!!"

……

"Gulp."

Although that's what they say.

But his narrow eyes couldn't help but glance at the huge slush machine.

He smelled it.

That smell...

Not only was there the warmth of the light, but also a temptation that made even this dark Ultraman's heart tremble...

That was the chill brought by the Helmet of Domination.

It was the familiar...dark coolness.

……

"Just say you want to eat it."

Sudden.

A voice rang in his ear.

Jiang Li teleported to his side without him even noticing.

Holding a bowl of... a special black and white shaved ice.

"promise."

Jiang Li handed the bowl to Beria.

"This was made especially for you."

"【Light and Dark Duo - Oreo Flavored Smoothie】".

"It has both the sweetness of light and the bitterness of darkness."

"Just like your life."

"Want to try some?"

……

"Get out of here!!"

Beria waved his hand, intending to knock over the bowl of shaved ice.

"I don't need charity!!"

"I am Belial! I am..."

"Snapped!"

Jiang Li scooped up a spoonful (and stuffed it into his mouth).

"You talk too much nonsense."

"Just eat yours!"

……

Brain Freeze.

A large spoonful of light and dark mixed shaved ice, at a temperature of -100 degrees Celsius, was forcibly stuffed into Belial's mouth.

"Ugh!!!"

Beria was about to vomit.

But that extreme cold instantly shot straight to the top of my head.

"Sizzle—!!"

That is a physiological reaction that no carbon-based life form (including the giants of light) can resist.

Brain freeze.

The excruciating pain, as if his brains were frozen, instantly rendered Beria incapable of thinking.

His anger? Frozen.

His ambition? Frozen.

His resentment? Frozen.

……

A revolving lantern.

In that moment of blankness.

Before Belial's eyes appeared some long-forgotten scenes.

That was tens of thousands of years ago.

The days he fought alongside Father of Ultra (Ken).

At that time, he had not yet turned evil.

Back then, he also fought to protect the Land of Light.

At that time...

The sun is shining brightly.

The wind is gentle.

……

"It's so cold..."

The red light in Belial's eyes gradually faded.

A sliver of its original silver color (White Belial form) was revealed.

He chewed the shaved ice in his mouth blankly.

"Sweet..."

"Is this... what I've lost?"

……

"Is it tasty?"

Jiang Li looked at the villain who had suddenly fallen silent.

"good."

Belial gave a haughty snort.

"Slightly stronger than plasma spark..."

He did not attack again.

Instead, he quietly... finished the rest of the bowl.

……

The handling of the Monster Graveyard.

I finished the smoothie.

The King of Ultra regained his majestic appearance (although there was still some cream on the corner of his mouth).

"Jiang Li".

The King of Ultra looked at Jiang Li.

"You have resolved the crisis in the Land of Light."

"Not only did it not take away the light, but it also... gave it new meaning."

"In return."

The King of Ultra pointed to the outer space of the Land of Light.

There is a dark area there, filled with resentment and ghosts.

Monster Graveyard.

That is the final resting place for the souls of monsters defeated by Ultraman over the countless years.

"That place..."

"It has always been a worry for us."

"Too much resentment often breeds ambitious people like Beria."

"If you have a way..."

……

"Monster Graveyard?"

Jiang Li looked in the direction the King of Ultra was pointing.

The Eye of Gluttony instantly provided an analysis:

Location: Monster Graveyard.

[Ingredients: Hundreds of millions of monster corpses, souls, and limbs.]

[Comment: This doesn't look like a cemetery at all!]

This is clearly... the largest frozen meat processing plant in the entire universe!!

……

"Leave it to me!"

Jiang Li patted his chest and assured him.

What causes such strong resentment?

"It's because they died a miserable death! No one performed any rituals to help them pass on!"

"Regarding the ingredients..."

"The best way to deliver the deceased..."

"It's about making it into a good dish."

……

"I plan to..."

A business glint shone in Jiang Li's eyes.

"Transform that place into..."

"[Deep Blue Monster-Flavored Cured Meat Processing Plant]".

"Take advantage of the low temperatures and negative energy there."

"Get those monster corpses..."

"Make it into dried bacon, monster sausage, and ghost ham."

"Then……"

"Exported to the entire universe!"

"Let everyone know... that monsters are actually delicious!"

……

The silence of the King of Ultra.

The King of Ultra was stunned.

Zoffy was stunned.

Even Beria was stunned.

Turn the Monster Graveyard into a cured meat factory?

This is...

"Very creative."

The King of Ultra nodded.

"Then... I'll have to trouble you."

"but……"

The King of Ultra glanced at Belial beside him.

"This guy (Beria)..."

"Eating your ice cream has cleared my head a bit."

"But he remains a dangerous element."

"What are your plans to do?"

……

"Simple."

Jiang Li turned to look at Belial.

"Old Berlusconi."

"Now your back is straight, and you've even eaten ice cream."

"Time to get to work."

"My cured meat factory..."

"We need a security captain."

"Stop dreaming about ruling the universe all the time."

"Go there and deal with those monster souls."

"Anyone who dares to cause trouble, you can use your ultimate fighting device (now a rolling pin)..."

"Roll it out into a meat pie."

"Food and lodging provided, plus a bowl of Oreo smoothie every day."

"Will you do it or not?"

……

Beria's Choice.

Beria looked at Jiang Li.

He then glanced at the King of Ultra and Father of Ultra, who were nodding at him.

He snorted coldly.

Carry the ultimate fighting device on your shoulder.

"snort."

"I only bought it because of that bowl of shaved ice."

"and……"

A red glint flashed in Belial's eyes.

"Those monsters..."

"It definitely needs to be cleaned up."

"Alright."

"I'll reluctantly agree..."

"Let me be a factory manager (security captain)."

……

New signal.

The matter concerning the Land of Light has been resolved.

Deep Blue Cafeteria's territory has expanded once again.

Cybertron has become a food city, the Land of Light has become a dessert station, and the Monster Graveyard has become a cured meat factory.

Jiang Li sat on the bridge of the Gluttony.

He checked the new tasks that the system had refreshed.

[Ding! New cosmic coordinates detected!]

[Source: Marvel Universe (Marvel Universe-616)]

[Target: Galactus, the Devourer of Planets.]

[Note: I heard this guy... has been starving for billions of years?]

[Note 2: I heard he's... the greatest gourmet in the entire universe (though he only eats planets)?]

……

"Galactic devourer?"

Jiang Li smiled.

He patted Er Gou's head.

"Er Gou" (Second Dog).

"I met someone in the same industry."

"Someone is taking our jobs away from us."

He said he was Uncle Swallow.

"They specialize in eating planets."

"Woof!"

(Bite him!)

"That's right."

Jiang Li stood up and drew Occam's Razor.

"Walk!"

"To Marvel!"

"I want to compete with him..."

"It's because he has a big mouth..."

"My pot is still the biggest!"

"By the way..."

Jiang Li remembered that purple sweet potato spirit (Thanos).

"That purple sweet potato that snapped its fingers..."

"It should be able to be made into... purple sweet potato egg tarts, right?"