I was just fishing, how did I become a Great Old One?

Multiverse, unknown coordinates, three-body plane.

Edge of the solar system, outside the Oort cloud.

When the Deep Blue Gluttonous Leviathan crossed the dimensional rift and descended upon this new world, the first thing everyone felt was neither hostility nor energy fluctuations.

Instead, it was... deathly silent.

This is a silence more complete than that of a grave.

The starry sky is still dazzling, but every star seems to hide a pair of spying eyes, carrying the muzzle of a malicious gun.

There was no broadcast, no signal, no clamor of life.

The entire universe is like a vast, breathless... dark forest.

……

"It's so quiet."

Sun Wukong stood on the deck, his golden monkey fur standing on end.

"Why do I, Old Sun, feel... this place is rather eerie?"

"Even though there are no monsters at all, I always feel like... monsters are everywhere."

At this moment, a snowflake is displayed on Tang Sanzang's (the cyber monk's) data sunglasses.

"Amitabha."

"My radar...cannot detect any goodwill."

"The laws of this universe... are cruel."

"It follows an absolute logic of 'discovery equals destruction'."

……

"The Dark Forest Theory"

Jiang Li stood at the bow of the ship, looking at the lifeless starry sky.

"In this universe."

"Any civilization that reveals its coordinates will be instantly wiped out."

"Survival is the first necessity."

"Civilizations continue to grow and expand, but the total amount of matter in the universe remains constant."

Jiang Li smiled, breaking the somber mood.

"sound……"

"This is simply... the ultimate level of stealing food!"

"Since no one dares to speak or cook."

"Then let us..."

Jiang Li took out the huge subwoofer from his backpack (which he had previously used to play music in the subspace).

Let's break this... awkward silence.

……

[Global Broadcast Enabled]

"Hey! Hey! Hey!"

"Deep Blue Cafeteria! Grand Opening Specials!"

"Is anyone hungry?"

"We have braised pork, boiled fish, and... candied hawthorn skewers with Infinity Stones that we just brought back from the Marvel Universe next door!"

"Buy now while supplies last! Don't miss out!"

……

boom----!!

This broadcast was like a bombshell dropped into a quiet library.

It was more like a huge campfire being lit in a dark forest.

moment.

The hunters throughout the solar system were alarmed.

……

Trisolaran Fleet.

It is 4 light-years away from Earth.

The Trisolarans' supreme ruler is listening to this incredible broadcast.

"What is this?"

"A new tactic from Earthlings?"

"Or...a trick by the Wallfacers?"

"No matter what it is."

The consul coldly issued the order.

"It revealed the coordinates."

"It must die."

"Launch... [Water Droplet]."

"Let's...test the waters first."

……

Tears of Death.

A few minutes later.

On the Treant's radar, an extremely tiny blue dot appeared, approaching at sub-light speed.

It's too small.

It is only 3.5 meters long.

It looks like a drop of... perfect mercury.

Its surface is absolutely smooth, reflecting all the light in the universe.

It has no engine, no nozzle, and relies on the strong interaction to lock the atomic nuclei tightly, keeping its surface temperature at absolute zero and its hardness exceeding that of any known matter in the universe.

It is an exquisite work of art.

It is also the ultimate... killing machine.

……

"What's that?"

Er Gou (the Chaos Devouring Dog) curiously poked his head out.

"A...tear?"

"Or is it... a glutinous rice ball?"

"Be careful!"

Alice (AI) screamed.

"High-energy warning!"

"The density of that object... is at the level of a neutron star!"

"It's crashing at full speed!"

……

"sweet dumpling?"

Jiang Li narrowed his eyes.

"Hmm...the shape does resemble it."

"The surface is smooth and streamlined."

"It looks...very smooth."

"Whatever it is!"

"Charging into me is suicide!"

Nezha rode on his Wind Fire Wheels and rushed out.

"Watch me stab it right through the heart!"

The Fire-Tipped Spear, imbued with Samadhi Fire, pierced fiercely towards the "water droplet."

……

"when!!!"

A crisp, clear impact sound.

Nezha felt a violent tremor in his hand, and his Fire-Tipped Spear almost flew out of his grasp.

And that drop of water.

Surprisingly... completely unharmed.

Not even a scratch was left.

It merely shifted its angle slightly before continuing its unstoppable charge toward the Treant.

"What?!"

Nezha was stunned.

"This thing is harder than my gun?!"

……

"Let me do it!"

Upon seeing this, Sun Wukong's golden cudgel instantly grew larger.

"The Sea-Stabilizing Pillar! Weighing 13,500 jin!"

"Smash it!"

"boom!!!"

The golden cudgel struck the water droplet.

It was like hitting a steel ball that would never deform.

The enormous reaction force sent Wukong flying hundreds of meters.

And water droplets.

It remains as smooth as a mirror.

It pierced through the afterimage of the golden cudgel.

"Pfft!"

It directly... pierced through one layer of Zerg bio-armor on the Treant.

It's as easy as a bullet passing through tofu.

……

"Wow, that's incredibly hard!"

Swan shouted from inside the cabin.

"Boss! The atoms in this thing have been forcibly locked!"

Physical attacks are ineffective against it!

"It's going to ram our ship into a sieve!"

The water droplets did not stop after penetrating the armor.

It frantically zigzagged and weaved inside the ship.

"Acute-angle turn!"

"Unlimited acceleration!"

It's like an... angry marble.

An attempt to dismantle this behemoth from within.

……

The chef's response.

"Physical attacks are ineffective?"

Jiang Li watched the silver droplet darting around the cabin, leaving a trail of chaos in its wake.

Not only was he not angry.

instead……

He revealed an excitement at encountering top-quality ingredients.

"High hardness".

"The surface is smooth."

"This shows..."

"Its texture... must be crispy."

"And it's the kind of thing that's... crunchy."

Jiang Li took something out of his backpack.

That's not a weapon.

Instead, it was a lump of... white, soft, and extremely sticky... dough.

This is what he made in the Dream Realm using Nightmare Dust and Void Glutinous Rice – [Void Glutinous Rice Dumpling].

"Dealing with tough things."

"We can't confront them head-on."

"We need to use... something soft."

"It needs to be wrapped in a bag."

……

[Culinary Skill: The Art of Catching Tangyuan (Sweet Rice Balls) with Softness.]

"Ergou! Predict its trajectory!"

"Woof!"

Er Gou activates his true vision.

"Left! Thirty degrees! Turn back!"

"good!"

Jiang Li stood at the end of the corridor.

The glutinous rice dough in my hand suddenly opened up and turned into a huge, white, sticky sheet of dough.

"Water droplets, right?"

"The toughest, right?"

"I see you..."

"Aren't you afraid...it'll stick to your teeth!"

……

"Whoosh—"

The water droplet rushed towards them with destructive kinetic energy.

It thought it was just an ordinary shield.

It thought it could penetrate it as easily as it could penetrate a steel plate.

but.

The moment it hit that layer of glutinous rice dough.

"puff."

A muffled thud.

It got stuck.

The glutinous rice dough did not break; instead, it was stretched and deformed to an extreme degree by the impact.

It's like a bullet being fired into a non-Newtonian fluid.

Kinetic energy is absorbed and dispersed instantly.

Followed by.

The glutinous rice dough... bounced back.

It's like a predatory net, shrinking in an instant.

It tightly...encased the still-spinning water droplet inside.

……

"Buzzing—"

Water droplets struggled frantically inside the glutinous rice dough.

It tried to cut the dough.

But this dough is made of ethereal glutinous rice, giving it a spatial resilience.

The more you cut, the stickier it becomes.

The more you struggle, the tighter it gets wrapped.

In just a few seconds.

That arrogant, powerful strong interaction probe that destroyed the human fleet.

It turned into a...

Plump, white, and constantly wriggling... giant glutinous rice balls.

……

"Gotcha!"

Jiang Li grabbed the glutinous rice ball.

I could feel the intense vibrations coming from inside.

"It's quite powerful."

"This filling... is very lively."

Jiang Li took the "water drop glutinous rice ball" and went into the kitchen.

"Now that it's wrapped up..."

"Then... let's cook it."

……

Cooking: Strong Interaction Force Tangyuan (glutinous rice balls).

"Nezha! Boil water!"

"Tripitaka! Recite the sutras (for blessings)!"

"Great Sage! Prepare the bowls!"

Jiang Li threw the glutinous rice ball containing the water droplet into the boiling water.

"Glug glug—"

The water droplet was still struggling inside.

Its high temperature (although the surface is at absolute zero, heat is generated due to friction) begins to heat the glutinous rice skin.

"Don't cook it for too long."

Jiang Li looked at the pot.

"The key to this filling is... a soft exterior and a firm interior."

"That is... a flowing core (although this core is solid)."

Three minutes later.

The glutinous rice skin became translucent.

A faint silver luster can be seen inside.

[Dish Name: Three-Body Problem: Strong Interaction Force Tangyuan (Sweet Rice Balls)]

[Level: Cosmic Hardcore]

[Description: Made with a skin of ethereal glutinous rice and a filling of a water droplet detector. Utilizing the principle of "overcoming strength with softness," it is forcibly transformed into a dessert.]

[Texture: The outer layer is soft, chewy, and sticky, while the filling... is extremely chewy. It's recommended to hold it in your mouth like a metal ball candy. Or... if your teeth are strong enough (like Er Gou), you can try biting it to pieces and experience the thrill of atomic nuclei exploding.]

[Effect: Grants "Absolutely Smooth" skin (Max Physical Defense). Significantly increases stubbornness.]

……

"Out of the pot!"

Jiang Li ladled out a bowl.

There is only one glutinous rice ball.

But this one is quite substantial (after all, it contains neutron star material).

"Who wants to give it a try?"

Jiang Li looked at everyone.

Everyone covered their cheeks and shook their heads repeatedly.

"This thing...it looks like it'll break your teeth."

"Even though my teeth are strong, I'm still afraid of them breaking."

Only... Er Gou.

It had been drooling with anticipation for a long time.

Its teeth are newly replaced with [Cold Iron Skull-Shattering Teeth], and have undergone several reinforcements.

"Woof! I'll do it!"

Er Gou pounced and bit the glutinous rice ball.

"Guji—"

The glutinous rice skin cracked.

The tooth touched the water droplet inside.

"Sizzle—"

The friction between the teeth and the strongly interacting material generates a series of sparks.

"Smash it!!"

Er Gou used the power of the Devouring Heaven Hound's rules.

Take a big bite.

"Snap!!!"

A crisp sound.

The water droplet... cracked.

The atomic structure, locked in place by strong interactions, finally collapsed under the gnawing of the rules.

A massive amount of energy overflowed from the crack.

But it didn't explode before it did.

It was swallowed by Er Gou...

……

"belch--"

Er Gou let out a burp.

Its body surface instantly developed a layer of...silver, mirror-like luster.

It became brighter.

It turned into a dog made of mirror.

[System notification: The pet "Ergou" has swallowed a water droplet.]

[Acquired property: Absolutely smooth (90% physical immunity).]

[Gain skill: Sharp Angle Impact (launches yourself like a bullet).]

"Awesome!"

Jiang Li gave a thumbs up.

"From now on, you'll be... a water droplet dog."

……

The fear of the Trisolarans.

But four light-years away.

The command center of the Trisolaran fleet.

The usually composed governor suddenly... went blank.

He looked at the last image displayed on the screen:

A giant husky opened its mouth wide and bit its prized "water droplet" to pieces.

Then he let out a burp.

"What...what kind of civilization is this?"

"Have humans... evolved to this extent?"

"Eating raw water droplets?!"

The governor's thinking suddenly became clouded.

"Withdraw...withdraw?"

"No."

"It's too late."

"That broadcast... has already been sent out."

"The coordinates... have been exposed."

……

An even greater crisis: the two-dimensional foil.

While Jiang Li and the others were still studying Er Gou's new skin.

Alice suddenly sounded an even more piercing alarm.

【warn!warn! 】

[Detected...signs of a dimensional reduction attack!]

[Source: Unknown (Singer Civilization?)]

[Type: Two-dimensional foil.]

Estimated arrival time: 10 minutes.

……

Jiang Li suddenly looked up.

Look into the depths of the starry sky.

There, there is a... little note.

It is flying at the speed of light.

It was a weapon that encapsulated the rules of "two-dimensionalization".

Once unfolded.

The entire solar system will become a... painting.

"A two-dimensional foil?"

There was no fear in Jiang Li's eyes.

instead……

A fleeting sense of nostalgia crossed my mind.

"Long time no see."

"This feeling... of the world being flattened."

He recalled his days in the flat country.

It reminded me of that folding tyrant.

I also remembered...

"Since it comes after noodles (glutinous rice balls)."

"Then we should have some...noodles."

Jiang Li took out a... from his backpack.

Huge, golden, covered in runes...

[The Sea-Stabilizing Needle - Shaped like a Rolling Pin].

"Great Sage!"

"Get ready to work!"

"this time……"

"We need to... roll out the dough!"

"That two-dimensional foil..."

"Give me...roll it into dumpling wrappers!"