I was just fishing, how did I become a Great Old One?

Inside the VIP box of the Obsidian Grand Theatre.

As the auctioneer's seductive voice faded, the gray, waxy substance, only the size of a fist but emitting a rich, exotic fragrance, placed on the tray—[Deep Sea Ambergris]—instantly ignited the enthusiasm of the entire audience.

Starting bid: 5,000 Dream Coins! Or an equivalent amount of magical materials!

"Six thousand!"

"I'll offer eight thousand! Plus a bottle of Dream Potion from Serefais!"

"Ten thousand! I am a high-ranking warlord of Lengyuan, and I intend to offer this as a sacrifice to the gods!"

Bidding echoed everywhere. This ambergris was not only a top-grade spice in the Dreamland, but also an essential ingredient for making many high-level spiritual potions. For mages seeking spiritual ascension and believers who wanted to please the Great Old Ones, it was simply priceless.

However, in the private room with the best view on the second floor, Jiang Li curled his lip, looking disdainful.

"this one?"

He pointed to the gray lump below that everyone was fighting over, then turned to ask Wang Ergou next to him.

"Ergou, do we still have half a ton of this stuff in our warehouse?"

Wang Ergou scratched his head and opened the "Inventory Ledger" he carried with him (actually a tablet computer, which could be used as a notepad even though there was no internet in the dream).

"Boss, to be precise, it's 860 kilograms. The giant abyssal whale we caught in the Pacific last time was full of this stuff. Lei Meng thought it was too oily, so he not only didn't want it, but almost threw it away as garbage. Later, I thought it smelled pretty good, so I kept it to make scented candles to sell later."

"Tsk, those country bumpkins who've never seen the world."

Jiang Li shook his head and took out a piece of ambergris (S-grade mutated version) from his pocket. It was two sizes larger than the one below, purer in color, and even slightly glowing.

"Snapped!"

He casually tossed this priceless treasure onto the table, like throwing a brick.

"I was planning to buy some local specialties to take home, but it turns out the stuff they're selling here isn't even as good as the junk in my warehouse. So boring, so incredibly boring."

Jiang Li yawned and lit another dried meat cigar.

"Just wait and see what kind of quality that last key is. If it's not any good either, we'll just go to the docks and rob... cough, go and buy some."

……

The auction continued.

The next few items were still unremarkable in Jiang Li's eyes.

What about [Ghoul's Golden Armguard] (too tacky), [Shatak Bird Eggs] (I have a bunch of them at home and I eat their eggs every day), [Nordens' Shell Horn] (it's not as loud as my own stereo when I blow it).

Finally, after a long wait, the auctioneer's voice suddenly rose eight octaves, and the lights in the entire hall dimmed, with only a spotlight shining on the black stone platform in the center of the stage.

"Ladies and gentlemen! The highlight of tonight's auction! The grand finale!"

"It is the key to unlocking the door to ultimate truth!"

"It is the only proof to transcend dimensions and time!"

"It is—the legendary Silver Key!"

In that sacred light, a key with an ancient and intricate design, made entirely of an unknown silver metal, lay quietly on black velvet.

It wasn't large, only about the length of a palm, but its surface shimmered with a liquid mercury-like sheen, as if it were alive and breathing. Even from a distance, everyone present could feel a tremor and longing that came from the depths of their souls.

"Buzz—"

The other two keys in Jiang Li's arms—the [Dragon King's Eye] and the [Key of White Bones]—suddenly resonated violently at this moment, vibrating wildly as if trying to break out of the pocket and join the silver key.

"That's interesting."

Jiang Li pressed down on the shifting pockets, sat up straight, and narrowed his eyes slightly behind his sunglasses.

"This key feels... smooth to me."

"And its shape..."

Jiang Li carefully examined the end of the key.

It wasn't a typical tooth-like structure, but rather a slightly concave arc, looking like...

"Like a spoon?"

Wang Ergou also came over and blurted out.

"That's right! It's a spoon!"

Jiang Li slapped his thigh, suddenly realizing what was going on.

"I knew it! The three keys to unlocking the 'Gourmet Door' must be related to food!"

"Look, the Dragon King's eye is round, like a bowl; the Bone Key is flat and long, like a dinner knife; and this silver spoon is like a ladle!"

"Bowl, knife, spoon! Isn't this just a set of Western tableware?!"

Jiang Li's logic has once again completed a perfect closed loop.

"This must be a 'rice set' left behind by some ancient food god! Collect all three, and there's no ancient god you won't be able to eat!"

"Buy! We have to buy it! No matter the cost!"

At this point, the auctioneer had already announced the reserve price.

Starting bid: 100,000 Dream Coins! Or one S-grade Mythical item!

The entire audience erupted in uproar.

The price was too high; it was enough to buy half of the port of Delras-Lin. Most of the buyers who were initially eager to buy immediately backed down and could only watch helplessly.

"110,000!"

A chilling voice came from the opposite private room. It belonged to a mysterious person whose face was obscured by a black robe.

"120,000!"

In another box, a Deep One priest with an octopus head held up a sign.

"Two hundred thousand!"

In the lobby on the first floor, the old Hassan (a moon beast disguised as a merchant) who had previously led Jiang Li to the right place suddenly stood up and shouted loudly.

"Whoosh—"

The entire audience was shocked. Two hundred thousand? That's an astronomical price!

Jiang Li sat in the private room, looking at old Hassan, and sneered.

"Ha, are they setting a trap for me? Trying to raise the price?"

He picked up the bidding device on the table and entered a number directly.

The numbers on the big screen jumped up and down instantly.

One million!

Dead silence.

The entire theater fell into a deathly silence. Even the auctioneer nearly smashed his gavel into his own foot.

One million?

Is this an auction or a money-throwing spree?

All eyes were drawn to the VIP room on the second floor.

Jiang Li, with his legs crossed and a megaphone in hand, lazily said:

"Stop arguing, I'll take this spoon. If anyone disagrees, we can have a go right here and now."

"this……"

Old Hassan (the Moon Beast) gritted its teeth; it hadn't expected this human to be so unpredictable. Its original plan was to raise the price, deplete Jiang Li's funds, and then devise a way to double-cross him.

So they went all in?

"That's against the rules!"

Old Hassan shouted, "We need to verify your funds! I don't believe you have that much money!"

"Verification of funds?"

Jiang Li smiled.

"Ergou, show them our change."

"Okay!"

Wang Ergou picked up a burlap sack at his feet, walked to the railing of the private room, and turned the sack upside down.

"Splash—"

A crisp, clear sound of impact.

Countless fist-sized rubies and sapphires, along with divine-looking golden bones (scraps from immortal shinbones) and glowing fish scales (fragments of crystal crab shells), cascaded down like a waterfall, burying an open space on the first floor.

Every single item here would be a priceless treasure if taken outside.

Especially those rubies, those were the treasures that the Moon Beasts had painstakingly dug up in the Cold Plains for hundreds of years, only to have them all taken away by Jiang Li, and now he's using them to smear their faces!

"This...this is..."

Old Hassan looked at those familiar rubies and trembled with rage, almost revealing his true form.

This is their money!

Using their money to buy the keys they set up to sell? That's utterly inhumane!

"Is that enough? If not, I have another sack."

Jiang Li pointed to the side, "That bag contains dragon liver and phoenix marrow (specialties brought back from Mars). Although they're not very valuable, they should be worth several hundred thousand, right?"

Dragon liver? Phoenix marrow? Worthless?

The monks and merchants present were nearly driven mad.

Where did this super-rich guy come from? Does his family own a mythical biological breeding farm?!

"That's enough... that's enough..."

The auctioneer on the stage (the mysterious man in red robes) gave Jiang Li a deep look, a barely perceptible glint of cold light flashing in his eyes.

"Since no one is bidding higher, this silver key belongs to this distinguished guest!"

"Thump!"

The hammer fell.

"Wait!"

Just as the waiter was about to hand over the keys, the auctioneer suddenly spoke.

"According to the special rules of our auction house, any guest who wins the final treasure must pass a 'qualification test' to prove that they are capable of holding this key that unlocks the door to truth."

"Otherwise, even if you pay, you won't be able to take the treasure with you."

See the picture poorly.

The atmosphere in the entire hall instantly became tense.

"Oh? A test?"

Jiang Li narrowed her eyes. "What kind of test? Is it a competition of who can eat the most food? Or a competition of who can cook the best dishes?"

"Neither."

The auctioneer slowly removed the gold mask from his face.

There is no face beneath the mask.

There was only a swirling, black, chaotic mist.

"The test involves... a sacrifice."

"You need to sacrifice yourself, or your closest companion, to pay homage to the great One of All Things—Yog-Sothoth."

As he finished speaking, the entire theater suddenly began to shake.

The once magnificent dome vanished, replaced by an endless abyss of starry sky. Countless slippery tentacles crawled all over the surrounding walls, and the ordinary spectators screamed and fled in terror, only to find that the gate had been sealed shut.

The moon beasts that had disguised themselves as merchants also tore off their disguises.

"Hiss—"

Hundreds of grayish-white, toad-like monsters with pink tentacles emerged from the crowd, carrying spears and shackles, and surrounded the private rooms on the second floor.

"This is your trap?"

Seeing this scene, Jiang Li not only didn't panic, but sighed, looking disappointed.

"I knew this deal wouldn't go smoothly."

"Sacrifices again, sealing off doors—can't you villains come up with something new?"

He stood up, slowly unbuttoned his suit jacket, and took off his expensive spider silk coat, handing it to Wang Ergou.

"Here, don't get it dirty, this dress is quite expensive."

Then, he pulled out the shiny black butcher knife from his waist.

"Since you don't want to do business and want to be 'ingredients' instead, then I'll grant your wish."

"Big Yellow! Stop pretending to be a gentleman! Take off your bow tie! Dinner's ready!"

"Lei Meng! That faceless man in the red robe is yours! He looks like a dumpling filled with black sesame paste, smash him flat!"

"Liu Wei! Protect our money! That's our seed money!"

"Yes, boss!"

The DeepBlue employees, who had been holding back for so long, erupted instantly.

"Woof—!!!"

With a roar, Big Yellow's body swelled in the wind, instantly transforming into a giant time-space hound ten meters long. It ripped off the red bow tie from its neck, opened its blood-red maw, and pounced directly at the nearest group of moon beasts.

"Snap! Snap!"

The Moon Beasts' supposedly tough skin was as fragile as tofu in front of Big Yellow's teeth.

"Monster! What kind of monster is this?!"

The moon beasts were horrified to discover that this dog not only had an astonishing bite force, but could also teleport in space, making it impossible to hit!

On the other side, Lei Meng, carrying a large black pot (which he always carried with him), charged towards the red-robed auctioneer like a heavy tank.

"Black sesame glutinous rice balls, right? I love sweets the most!"

"boom!"

The auctioneer tried to block it with chaos magic, but the black pot was imbued with Jiang Li's "Gluttony" rule, which directly deflected the magic.

"Damn it! These are a bunch of lunatics!"

The auctioneer panicked.

Jiang Li, on the other hand, jumped directly from the second floor, his target the silver key.

"Stop him! Stop him now!"

Old Hassan (the leader of the moon beasts) screamed as he commanded his men.

More than a dozen strong moon beasts raised their spears and thrust them at Jiang Li.

"Get out of my way! Don't block my way from getting the spoon!"

Jiang Li swung the butcher knife in his hand.

"The Butcher's Skill in Carving an Ox - A Disheveled Appearance!"

"Swish swish swish swish—"

The flashing blades formed a dense net, instantly enveloping the dozen or so moon beasts.

next second.

All the moon beasts' spears were broken, and their flesh was neatly separated as if it had been cut by a precise machine.

Bones are bones, flesh is flesh, and skin is skin.

Even the internal organs were neatly categorized and stacked, with absolutely no waste.

"This batch of meat is of good quality, with a good balance of fat and lean."

Jiang Li stepped over a pile of meat chunks and walked to the display stand.

He reached out and grabbed the Silver Key.

"Buzz—"

The moment the key was in his hand, a cold yet vast stream of consciousness rushed into his mind.

Countless doors opened before him, and countless landscapes from different dimensions flashed by.

If you were an ordinary person, you would have been overwhelmed by this massive flow of information and become an idiot by now.

Jiang Li simply shook his head.

"This spoon... how come it has a vibrating function?"

He gripped the key tightly, and the "Gluttony" rule within his body activated, forcibly suppressing that stream of consciousness.

"Behave yourself! From now on, you're my bread and butter!"

The silver key trembled twice, and then... fell silent.

It seemed to realize that it had encountered an unreasonable owner.

"Item received!"

Jiang Li put the key in his pocket, then looked back at the room full of moon beasts and the auctioneer who hadn't run away yet.

"Now, it's time to settle the score for your attempt to 'sacrifice' me earlier."

Jiang Li revealed an extremely kind smile.

"Since you enjoy sacrifices so much, then offer yourselves as a sacrifice to my stomach!"

"Ergou! Send the signal! Have the Black Pearl aim its cannons here!"

"Tonight, we're going to turn this auction house... into a 'self-service barbecue city'!"

"Boom—!!!"

A loud bang was heard outside.

That was the Golden Black Pearl crashing through the dome of the Grand Theatre. The two huge sound systems were facing the hall, playing the stirring "A Star Over the Chaos".

"I roam freely, commanding respect from all."

"It's over..."

The red-robed auctioneer closed his eyes in despair (if he had any).

This meticulously planned trap ultimately turned into a...

A complete "food extravaganza".

……

That night, the residents of Delras-Lin witnessed a scene they would never forget.

The obsidian theater, a symbol of wealth and power, was engulfed in flames (that's Vovados grilling meat).

The air was filled with the rich aroma of barbecue and cumin.

Countless infamous moon beasts were skinned and hung on golden spaceships to dry.

The man in the purple suit was sitting on the ruins, holding a silver "spoon" in his hand, scooping out a bowl of freshly made [Braised Chaos Beast] (made by the auctioneer's true form), eating with his mouth full of oil.

"Hmm, the filling for these glutinous rice balls is a bit bitter. Add more sugar next time."

He commented on the food as he ate.

The three keys have finally been collected.

Jiang Li looked at the spoon in his hand, the bowl (Dragon Ball) in his arms, and the knife (Bone Key) in his pocket.

"The tableware is ready."

"Next..."

"Shouldn't we go check out that so-called 'ultimate truth'... which is also the biggest hotel?"

"I heard there's a chef there called 'The One Who Unifies All Things'?"