Villain? No, I'll catch up with the protagonist after passing the civil service exam.

For a moment, time seemed to stand still.

Lu Jingyan's body was taut and straight, like a cement stake that had just been driven into the ground.

He held his breath, even mentally preparing himself for the Armani jacket to be ruined, his mind racing as he calculated whether he could get Su Xiaoxiao to reimburse him for the stain removal fee from the dry cleaners.

However, the anticipated "waterfall" did not occur.

"belch--"

Su Xiaoxiao buried her face in his chest and let out a loud, satisfied burp.

A rich, hot steam, a mixture of cumin, lamb, and fermented beer aromas, pierced through the thin fabric and landed precisely on Lu Jingyan's collarbone.

Lu Jingyan: "..."

The crisis was over, but a new crisis has emerged.

After burping, Su Xiaoxiao seemed to find the position very comfortable. Instead of letting go, she clung to him like a koala, using both her arms and legs.

She rubbed her face against his chest, mumbling incoherently in her sleep:

"It's hard...this pillow is really hard...but it's quite warm..."

The surrounding air suddenly became quiet and eerie.

Several tables of diners stopped eating their skewers. Zhao Tiezhu had a skewer in his mouth and forgot to remove it. Even Lei Ting, who was playing drinking games, stared wide-eyed, his cup hanging in mid-air.

Everyone is waiting.

"Tiezhu, put down the stick. I have something to ask you."

Zhao Tiezhu was taken aback, quickly swallowed the meat in his mouth, and mumbled, "Captain Lu, what do you want me to do? I'm listening. Do you want me to call your wife... oh no, I mean, call Officer Su's car?"

"no."

Lu Jingyan shook his head, his expression solemn, as if he were discussing the nature of a major criminal case.

"Could you give me some advice?"

He pointed to Su Xiaoxiao, who was clinging to him and trying to lick his clothes, his tone serious and academic:

According to Article 44 of the Law on Penalties for Administration of Public Security, anyone who molests another person or intentionally exposes their body in a public place, where the circumstances are egregious, shall be detained for not less than five days but not more than ten days.

Zhao Tiezhu: "?"

The surrounding onlookers: "??"

Lu Jingyan frowned as he continued searching and matching legal provisions:

"Although she did not expose her body, does this act of forcibly making physical contact against my will, accompanied by verbal harassment (calling me a pillow), constitute indecent assault in a legal sense?"

"besides."

He added, his eyes gleaming with curiosity, "We had a meal together outside of work hours, but it's still considered a group activity. If a subordinate, under the influence of alcohol, engages in this kind of...physical assault on a superior, would that constitute workplace sexual harassment? Should I call the disciplinary committee now to report it, just to avoid any future misunderstandings?"

"puff--"

Zhao Tiezhu sprayed the beer he had just drunk out of his nostrils.

He coughed violently, his face turning a deep purplish-red, and he looked at Lu Jingyan as if he were an alien.

Brother!

A girl throws herself at you, and you're telling me this is workplace harassment? And you want to report it to the disciplinary committee?

Your brain must be made of reinforced concrete!

"Lu...cough cough...Captain Lu..."

Zhao Tiezhu wiped the wine stains from the corner of his mouth, his stomach aching from trying to suppress his laughter. "Well... I think this is at most... just drunken misbehavior. The Discipline Inspection Commission can do whatever it wants, but they can't stop a young woman from trying to grovel at a leader when she's drunk, can they?"

"Yeah?"

Lu Jingyan was somewhat suspicious, "but to avoid suspicion, we still have to follow the rules."

He stretched out a finger and pressed it against Su Xiaoxiao's forehead, trying to push her away.

"Comrade Su Xiaoxiao, please have some self-respect. Your current behavior has seriously violated the code of conduct for police officers."

"Um...don't make a sound..."

Su Xiaoxiao grumbled in dissatisfaction, but hugged him even tighter, and even scratched the ticklish spot on his waist with her paw. "Don't move the pillow... I want to sleep..."

Lu Jingyan froze, as if he had been struck by a pressure point.

"Zhao Tiezhu!"

He finally broke down, his voice tinged with urgency, "Stop watching! Get her away right now! That's an order!"

"Yes, yes, yes!"

Zhao Tiezhu dared not watch the commotion any longer and quickly put down his wine glass and rushed over.

He pulled Su Xiaoxiao off Lu Jingyan like an octopus, using all his strength, as if he were pulling out a radish.

"Xiaoxiao! Wake up! Don't sleep!"

Once Su Xiaoxiao was away from the "heat source," she grumbled twice in dissatisfaction, and her body went limp as she tried to slide to the ground.

Lu Jingyan reacted quickly, taking off his jacket in one swift motion.

"Don't let her fall to the ground; it will damage the image of the police force."

He held the coat, his movements as practiced as if he were about to pack up a criminal suspect. With a flick of his wrist, the coat unfolded, instantly covering Su Xiaoxiao from head to toe, leaving only her eyes and nose exposed.

Then, he quickly buttoned up his shirt and tied his sleeve in a tight knot behind her back.

The entire sequence of movements was fluid and took only three seconds.

Su Xiaoxiao instantly turned into a "zongzi" (rice dumpling) swaying around there.

"call……"

Lu Jingyan breathed a sigh of relief, took two steps back, and maintained an absolutely safe social distance.

He turned to look at several policewomen at another table who were laughing so hard they were doubled over.

"Xiao Liu, Xiao Wang."

"Here!" The two policewomen quickly stood up, their smiles still on their faces.

"I'm assigning you a task."

Lu Jingyan pointed to the still wriggling "Su's Rice Dumpling," his face righteous, "Get her home safely and make sure she's handed over to her parents. Also, tell her parents that tomorrow she needs to write a 5,000-word self-criticism, deeply reflecting on her drunken behavior and harassment of her superiors."

"Pfft... Yes, Captain Lu!"

The policewomen suppressed their laughter, each supporting Su Xiaoxiao on either side, and escorted her to a taxi by the roadside like a prisoner.

"Captain Lu... I'm not leaving... I want to sing again..."

Su Xiaoxiao was still shouting incoherently when she was shoved into the car, but as soon as the car door slammed shut, the world finally became quiet.

Lu Jingyan straightened his rumpled T-shirt, sat back down on the plastic stool, picked up the half-finished beer, and downed it in one gulp.

"This dinner party is more tiring than catching a fugitive."

He shook his head and looked at Lei Ting and Zhao Tiezhu, who were staring in disbelief. "Why aren't you eating? It won't taste good if it gets cold."

Lei Ting gave him a thumbs up and exclaimed sincerely, "Xiao Lu, you're a real man. Seriously, I've never admired anyone in my life, you're the first."

Turn ambiguity into case analysis, and embrace into bondage and detention.

This is a model for us all!

……

The next morning, in the meeting room of the Municipal Bureau's Special Investigation Team.

The atmosphere was unusually serious.

Su Xiaoxiao sat in the corner, her head almost buried in the table. She was still hungover, her head throbbing, and more importantly, fragments of memories from last night were slowly attacking her brain.

Sing "Conquer"... cling to someone's leg... shout "Lu Jingyan pillow"...

All she wanted to do was crawl into a hole and strangle the version of herself from last night.

"Today's morning meeting will mainly emphasize one point."

Lu Jingyan sat in the head seat, having changed back into his crisp police uniform. His expression was stern, showing no trace of the disheveled state he had displayed the previous night.

He tapped the blackboard, which had four large characters written on it: "[Discipline for Group Dining]".

"From now on, excessive drinking is strictly prohibited at departmental gatherings. In particular, some colleagues have extremely poor drinking habits, which seriously affect the purity and discipline of the team."

His gaze swept casually over Su Xiaoxiao in the corner. "I don't want to see this kind of behavior—treating superiors like pillows and wine bottles like microphones—a second time. This is the last time."

Su Xiaoxiao lowered her head even further, her ears turning as red as ripe shrimp.

"Alright, meeting adjourned."

Lu Jingyan closed the notebook without being too critical, after all, the 5,000-word self-criticism hadn't been submitted yet.

He glanced at his watch and picked up his car keys.

"I'm going to the provincial department to submit some materials. Call me if you need anything."

As I stepped out of the police station, the morning sunlight bathed the streets, gilding the city with a golden hue.

Lu Jingyan drove his understated black Audi and merged into the morning rush hour traffic.

Soft music played in the car. He held the steering wheel with one hand, in a fairly good mood. Although last night's incident was awkward, at least nothing serious happened, and the cohesion of the special investigation team (their enthusiasm for watching the drama) seemed to have improved considerably.

The car turned at a busy intersection, and ahead lay Jiefang Road, a notorious area for staged accidents.

Although this phenomenon has decreased significantly due to the recent crackdown, Lu Jingyan still habitually slowed down and put his foot on the brake.

Just then.

A gray figure suddenly darted out from the roadside green belt.

She was an old woman with a full head of silver hair, wearing an old cloth shirt.

Her movements were incredibly fast, her agility far exceeding that of a seventy or eighty-year-old. With a running start, her body traced a strange arc in the air, moving with unparalleled smoothness and precision towards the front of Lu Jingyan's car—

It floated over.

That's right, it's floating.

The feeling of hovering in mid-air, defying gravity, even stunned Lu Jingyan, who possessed god-level driving skills.

"squeak--!"

Lu Jingyan slammed on the brakes and killed him.

Although the car wasn't going very fast to begin with, inertia still caused it to lurch suddenly and stop in front of the zebra crossing.

The old woman was already lying down less than ten centimeters in front of the car.

She lay perfectly still and in an elegant posture, even thoughtfully adjusting her angle to make it look as if she had been knocked away.

Then, a powerful scream echoed through the sky:

"Ouch! Someone's been hit and killed! The police are beating people!"

Lu Jingyan sat in the driver's seat, watching the "textbook-level" fake fall video from the dashcam, a cold smile slowly curving his lips.

Are all those who stage accidents so shamelessly these days?

Not only do they need to compete in acting skills, but they also need to compete in agility.

interesting.

He unbuckled his seatbelt, opened the car door, and stepped out with his long, slender legs.

"Auntie, with your agility, it's a pity you're not competing in Olympic gymnastics."