The divorce comeback system arrived right after I was born.

Chen Zhi was thinking of going to the convenience store to get a grilled sausage to soothe his legs, which had gone numb from squatting, when suddenly someone grabbed his arm.

Before Chen Zhi could even see who it was, he was dragged along by this force, stumbling and falling towards the nearby grove of trees.

"Hey, who are you?"

Chen Zhi turned around, and a somewhat unfamiliar face came into view. The girl was quite fair-skinned, with long, straight black hair, and there were even some tears in the corners of her eyes. She looked pitiful, like a little white flower swaying in the wind.

Before Chen Zhi could even ask "Who are you?", the girl forcibly dragged him to the base of the equipment room next to the playground.

Why did you lie to me?

As soon as the girl opened her mouth, her voice trembled with tears, and her big, watery eyes stared intently at Chen Zhi, as if she were looking at a heartless man.

A question mark slowly appeared on Chen Zhi's forehead.

He instinctively took a half step back to create a safe distance.

"No, ma'am, who are you sending this to? Do we know each other?"

The phrase "Send it here" clearly had a huge impact on her.

The girl's sorrowful expression froze instantly.

She probably never imagined that a guy with such a handsome face would use such a high-contrast vocabulary.

"How could you...how could you use such foul language?"

Liu Xiaoyan took a deep breath, her eyes reddening even more, her voice trembling, "You weren't like this on QQ. You would call me baby, order me milk tea, and coax me to sleep."

Chen Zhi felt a chill creep up his body.

At that moment, he even wondered if he had drunk too much that night and sleepwalked, registering a fake account to surf the internet.

"Stop it, stop it."

"Stop! You can eat anything, but you can't say anything." Chen Zhi made a stop gesture, looking disgusted. "I may be a kind person, but I don't accept just anyone. You're trying to scam me right off the bat. Do you believe I'll call the police?"

"impossible!"

Liu Xiaoyan was agitated. She frantically pulled a phone out of her pocket, quickly swiped the screen, and shoved it at Chen Zhi's face.

"Is this your photo? Is this your profile picture?"

Chen Zhi had no choice but to lean back tactically and squint at the screen.

The screen displays a QQ profile card.

The profile picture is indeed of him.

That was a photo taken when he was standing under a cherry blossom tree yawning during a school field trip in his second year of junior high.

Chen Zhi's gaze moved downwards and landed on the online name.

[Forgot about love].

Chen Zhi's lips twitched violently.

This embarrassingly ridiculous username is so unique that you can't find another one like it in the entire Jiangcheng except for that idiot Li Jiahao.

He snatched the phone and quickly scrolled through the chat history.

The more Chen Zhi looked, the darker his face became.

Good guy.

This guy Li Jiahao not only uses his photo as his profile picture, but also posts his selfies on his WeChat Moments with captions like "The wind is so noisy today" and "Loneliness is like snow"—all kinds of melancholic literature.

The most outrageous thing is the chat history.

That guy is such a simp.

[Baby, what kind of milk tea do you want to drink today? I've saved up another twenty yuan.]

[Baby, I don't know how to do this problem, but I'm willing to learn it for you.]

[Baby, if you both get into the top high school, how about we meet in real life?]

The reply from the other side was extremely perfunctory.

【Oh. 】

【Um. 】

I'd like a large cheese strawberry drink, less ice.

Until the day the high school entrance exam results came out.

Li Jiahao posted: "Baby, I'm sorry, I didn't get into the top high school. I might have to go to a vocational high school."

After that, Liu Xiaoyan never replied to a single word.

I'm being subjected to passive-aggressive treatment.

The sequence of events is now quite clear.

Li Jiahao used his photos to start an online romance and became his ATM for several months.

Liu Xiaoyan, disgusted that Li Jiahao failed to get into the top high school, simply disappeared.

When school started, it turned out that Li Jiahao in the photo was not only from No. 1 Middle School, but also the school's well-known top scorer in the high school entrance examination.

So, this woman regretted it.

She felt that Li Jiahao had lied to her, saying he hadn't passed the exam when he clearly had, just to test whether she was sincere.

So she came to confront him, wanting to put on a show of "I don't care if you have money or not, I only care if you lied to me or not," in order to win back this long-term meal ticket.

You might even snag a rich husband along the way.

"Do you understand now?" Seeing that Chen Zhi didn't speak, Liu Xiaoyan assumed he was guilty, and her tone carried a hint of aggrieved accusation, "You're clearly so outstanding, why did you test me? If I had known you were from No. 1 High School, how could I possibly ignore you..."

"Putting aside the facts, aren't you also right?"

Chen Zhi pushed the phone back and looked at her like she was an idiot.

"First of all, this number doesn't belong to me."

"Secondly, the photo is of me, but the person you're chatting with is an idiot."

"Finally," Chen Zhi paused, his eyes turning playful, "even for me, isn't your speed of changing your attitude—from passive-aggressive behavior towards vocational high schools to begging for reconciliation with No. 1 High School—a bit too much?"

"You..." Liu Xiaoyan's face paled. Her thoughts exposed, she was furious and embarrassed. "If you don't want to admit it, fine, but why humiliate me? I thought you had some hidden reason!"

Just then, a voice full of righteous indignation suddenly interrupted from the side.

"What are you doing!"

A boy wearing black-rimmed glasses and with a face full of acne rushed over, panting, and blocked Liu Xiaoyan's path without saying a word.

He glared at Chen Zhi, his chest heaving violently, as if he were the knight protecting the princess and Chen Zhi the evil dragon.

"Chen Zhi! Even though you were the top scorer in the high school entrance exam, you can't just bully girls like that, can you?"

The boy turned to look at Liu Xiaoyan, his voice instantly softening: "Xiaoyan, don't be afraid, I'm here. Was he harassing you?"

Upon seeing that someone was backing her up, Liu Xiaoyan burst into tears. She covered her mouth and remained silent, only shaking her head in grievance, which further confirmed Chen Zhi's guilt.

Chen Zhi found the scene before him amusing.

Damn it, why is Boiling Sheep everywhere?

Judging from his behavior, he's probably just a backup option.

"No, buddy," Chen Zhi said, hands in his pockets, looking speechless. "Which eye of yours saw me bullying her? Besides, did you even know the whole story before you jumped in?"

"I don't need to know!" the boy roared righteously. "Making a girl cry is wrong of you! You have to apologize to Xiaoyan!"

Chen Zhi was amused by this amazing brain circuit.

Just as he was about to speak, a familiar light blue light screen suddenly appeared in front of him.

The long-dormant "divorce comeback system" is back.

[Triggering Quest: Don't underestimate the poor middle-aged!]

[Background: Your ex-wife absconded with your hard-earned money when you were at your lowest point. Now that you've made a comeback, she's reappeared with her current partner, not only turning the tables on you but also trying to make you take the blame. Your child has even mistaken her for their father and is heartbroken over her. No man could tolerate this!]

[Mission Requirements: Strike back with overwhelming force, and teach this despicable couple a lesson: fortunes change, and don't underestimate the poor in middle age!]

[Task Reward: Dragon Spirit and Tiger Might]

Chen Zhi looked at the system panel, his lips twitching.

What a weird kid.

Is Li Jiahao my child?

However... I'd like to ask on behalf of a friend of mine: is this "dragon spirit and tiger fierce" the one I'm imagining?

And the phrase "recognizing a thief as one's father" is so apt. That idiot Li Jiahao used my photo to fawn over me, and now this woman has dumped him for being a vocational high school loser. Isn't that just betraying his father? After a moment of reflection, Chen Zhi took a deep breath, his eyes changing.

The original lazy, detached expression disappeared, replaced by a cold indifference born of experience, tinged with a hint of mockery and a touch of nonchalance.

He slowly raised his head, his gaze passing over the sheep and looking directly at Liu Xiaoyan.

"Apologize?"

Chen Zhi sneered, his voice carrying the crooked mouth of a character from a brainless short drama.

"She's the one who should apologize."

"When I was down on my luck, they looked down on me, thinking I was a good-for-nothing who could only go to vocational high school and would even cheat me out of money for a cup of milk tea. Now that they see me doing well, they're putting on this act of deep affection and loyalty?"

Chen Zhi took a step forward, exuding an imposing aura.

The sheep was startled by Chen Zhi's gaze and instinctively took a step back: "You, what nonsense are you talking about..."

"Nonsense?" Chen Zhi pointed at Liu Xiaoyan's phone. "That money for a few hundred yuan of milk tea—you could feed a dog and it'd wag its tail a couple of times, but feeding it to you, and all you get in return is months of cold treatment?"

Liu Xiaoyan's face turned pale. She hadn't expected that Chen Zhi would even know such details as milk tea.

"I...I didn't..." she stammered in her defense.

Chen Zhi didn't give her a chance to speak. He turned around abruptly, staring intently at Boiling Sheep, and suddenly shouted:

"And you!"

Boiling Sheep shuddered: "What...what happened to me?"

Chen Zhi shook his head in anguish, pointing his finger at him and yelling, "You think you're so great at picking up trash that others don't want and treating it like treasure? Do you even know what she just called me? She called me 'husband'! Who do you think you are? A sucker who takes over someone else's garbage?"

"Thirty years east of the river, thirty years west of the river!"

Chen Zhi looked at Liu Xiaoyan one last time, a mocking smile curving his lips, perfectly capturing the aura of the Dragon King.

"Don't underestimate a middle-aged person's potential!"

"You ignore me today, but you'll regret it tomorrow! Take your backup plan and get out!"

After uttering these incredibly embarrassing lines, Chen Zhi felt like he was about to die.

A system notification sounded.

[Reward: Dragon Spirit and Tiger Might have been awarded.]

A warm current instantly flowed through his body, and Chen Zhi felt that he seemed to have more energy. Damn, this doesn't seem to be the vigorous and energetic person my friend wanted.

The sound of a pin drop could be heard at that moment.

Liu Xiaoyan was stunned by the scolding, and even with tears streaming down her face, she forgot to shed them.

Boiling Sheep was completely stunned, his eyes filled with doubt as he looked at Liu Xiaoyan. Did she really call Chen Zhi "husband" just now? Then what am I?

At that moment, they didn't have time to think about why it was "Don't underestimate the poor middle-aged" instead of "Don't underestimate the poor young."