Time Travel: I'm a Flower Thief

Xie Xiaoyi looked at Yue Xiaoshen and saw genuine curiosity in his eyes. There was not a trace of the sternness of the Demonic Sect Leader, only an eagerness to learn from Feng Yue.

His lips twitched, and he sighed inwardly that the mother and daughter were indeed of the same nature, straightforward and direct.

So he pulled up a chair and sat opposite, his fingers tapping on the table, and coughed twice:

"Since you asked me, I naturally couldn't refuse to answer. However, the book's description of Pan, Lu, Deng, Xiao, and Xian..."

The details involved are too explicit to be written outright, so I only dared to use metaphors to gloss over them.

Yue Xiao leaned forward, her curiosity undisguised, and her tone was crisp and stubborn:

"I insist on hearing the truth. What do you mean by being too explicit? I've seen it all, why would I be bothered by a few words?"

You can just tell me; I'll just take it as something new to hear and I'll never tell anyone else.

What a stubborn housewife!

Looking at this woman who was once the second most beautiful woman in the world, Xie Xiaoyi couldn't help but think of the Japanese films from before he traveled back in time, the "Widow" series.

He imagined scenes of Yue Xiaoshen transforming into the female lead, and then him becoming the male lead.

As he was thinking, "one place" became uncontrollable. Xie Xiaoyi leaned forward without changing his expression, suppressing his embarrassment.

"Uh—you insist on hearing this, senior?"

"Of course I'll listen. Otherwise, why would I hide Xiaoqi behind my back to see you in the middle of the night?"

Xie Xiaoyi gave an awkward laugh, but still relented: "The saying 'Pan, Lu, Deng, Xiao, Xian' comes from Chapter 3 of the book."

The chapter is titled "Wang Po devises ten schemes to attract attention, and Ximen Qing teases Jinlian in the tea room."

Those five words were the common saying about the best conditions for winning a woman's favor. What Wang Po was arguing with Ximen Qing was the real, practical way to flirt with and seduce women.

Yue Xiaoshen rested her chin on her hand, tapping her fingers on the table, her eyes shining brightly: "Tell me about it."

Xie Xiaoyi, adhering to the principle that she herself wasn't embarrassed, but rather what others said was embarrassing, explained in detail:

"The first one is Pan, the Pan of Pan An. In the world of the book, Pan An is the most handsome man in the world."

His appearance was unparalleled, and his demeanor was elegant. When he walked down the street, women would gather around him and throw fruit at him, and the story of his cart overflowing with fruit spread far and wide.

Moreover, he possessed unparalleled talent, excelling in both poetry and prose, making him the most handsome man in the hearts of women everywhere.

The character "潘" means to be born with good looks, with attractive features and a pleasing appearance.

After listening, Yue Xiaoshen nodded: "This can't be considered too explicit. It's perfectly understandable for women to like handsome men. Please continue."

Xie Xiaoyi gave an awkward smile and continued:

"The second donkey is the donkey of donkeys, which means that a man should be as strong as a donkey in the bedroom, preferably with a donkey-sized penis."

Yue Xiaoshen was puzzled and raised an eyebrow, asking, "What is 'Donkey Big's genuine product'?"

"Senior... I'm not really sure how to say this!"

"Really, stop keeping me in suspense! Just tell me."

"Then this junior will be bold!" Xie Xiaoyi leaned close to Yue Xiaoshen's ear, his lips brushing against her earlobe, and whispered a few words.

After speaking, he shifted slightly and sat back down, secretly wiping the corner of his lips that had just touched her earlobe with his finger, secretly pleased—

The second most beautiful woman in the world back then, even her ears smelled of a woman. That light touch just now was more comfortable than winning a sword fight.

Upon hearing this, Yue Xiaoshen's ears turned red first, followed by a blush spreading across her cheeks. After a long pause, she nodded slightly and mumbled, "Tell...tell the next one!"

Suddenly, it dawned on me—it turns out that "donkey's big goods" refers to the donkey's genitals.

"The third Deng is Deng Tong, who is the God of Wealth in the book's world. It means that you should have money in your hands, be able to cover your expenses, not be stingy, and be willing to spend money on women."

Yue Xiaoshen shook her head slightly: "Money isn't that important to women, is it?"

Xie Xiaoyi smiled upon hearing this, and said bluntly, "What you said is true, senior. Not all women in the world love money."

But there are always some "gold diggers" who only care about money and are willing to sacrifice everything for it.

Yue Xiao raised an eyebrow slightly, tilting her head to ask, "Gold digger? That's a new term, what does it mean?"

Xie Xiaoyi raised his hand and scratched his brow bone, carefully considering how to explain it in worldly terms:

"It's easy to explain. A woman who worships gold and silver, who puts money first and everything else second, is a gold digger."

A hint of realization flashed across Yue Xiaoshen's eyes, and she chuckled softly:

"I see. You have quite a few fresh words; no wonder you can write a book like this. Don't stop, keep going."

Xie Xiaoyi smiled, his eyes narrowing: "The fourth 'small' refers to the 'smallness' of 'small intention,' meaning to be patient, meticulous, and subtly shrewd."

She's observant and perceptive; she knows how to appease others when they're unhappy, going along with their temper instead of being forceful, and she understands how to compromise.

The powder on Yue Xiaoshen's earlobes hadn't faded yet, and the corners of her lips were slightly upturned:

"It's only natural for a man to coax a woman, that's a more apt statement. Say one last thing."

Xie Xiaoyi replied with a smile: "The last one is the leisurely kind of leisure. If you want to have sex with a man, you must have some free time."

Being there for her, not being so busy you're never around, means being there when she wants to talk or relax.

After saying that, Xie Xiaoyi picked up his teacup, took a sip, and looked up at Yue Xiaoshen: "These are the only five. If there's even one less, Granny Wang says it will be difficult to get things done."

Yue Xiaoshen was stunned for a moment, then chuckled and said, "You're quite a clever person for your age, explaining this little trick so clearly."

Xie Xiaoyi smiled faintly, cupped his hands in greeting, and said, "Senior, you flatter me. I am unworthy of such praise."

Yue Xiao rested her elbow on the table, propped her chin on her hand, and a hint of reminiscence appeared in her eyes as she slowly said, "There is a poem in your book that I particularly like."

Having said that, she looked up at the night outside the window, and spoke softly, word by word:

Of the myriad things in this world, I love three: the sun, the moon, and you. The sun is for the morning, the moon is for the evening, and you are for every morning and evening.

After reading it, she smiled slightly and looked at Xie Xiaoyi: "A few words, yet they express my feelings perfectly, which is more moving than those flowery words and songs."

Xie Xiaoyi chuckled inwardly upon hearing this.

This phrase doesn't exist in the original novel, Jin Ping Mei!

That was something I added on a whim; it was a poem by a foreign poet that I had translated online before I time-traveled.

Unexpectedly, it suited her wishes.

"Your insight is remarkable. Although this poem is not vulgar or common, it is sincere and has touched your heart."

Yue Xiaoshen nodded and chuckled, "Indeed, a wonderful line. I'll stop here; I have a duel with Xie Lingyun tomorrow, so I'm going back to rest."

After speaking, he stood up, and Xie Xiaoyi also stood up to see him off.

......

The next morning, there was a light knock on the door, and Xue Xiaoqi's voice came from outside:

"Xie Mo, my mother is going to challenge Xie Lingyun to a sword duel. Are you coming?"

Upon hearing the sound, Xie Xiaoyi immediately got up, quickly put on his clothes, pushed open the door, and followed Xue Xiaoqi downstairs. He casually asked for two wheat cakes at the inn counter and ate them as he walked.

The two hurried out of the town and headed towards "Floating Jade Mountain" in the East Sea, the residence of Xie Lingyun, the fourth-ranked scholar in the world and known as the "Plain Shadow of the East Sea".

The news that Yue Xiaoshen sought out Xie Lingyun to ask for his sword skills had already spread throughout the martial arts world.

Along the way, there were many martial arts travelers heading to Fuyu Mountain, traveling in twos and threes, all discussing the duel between top masters.

For a time, the sounds of horses' hooves, footsteps, and discussions filled the air.