Courtyard House: The Chef's Intelligence System

In the dead of night, the candlelight in the mourning hall flickered gently in the wind, and Xu Damao and Shazhu fell asleep leaning against each other.

Xu Damao had a dream in which he kissed Meizi, but in reality he was hugging Shazhu's head and kissing him uncontrollably.

Li Jiuzhou and the rest of the Wu family, who had just gotten up, were all dumbfounded.

"This..." Old Master Wu pointed at the two of them, not knowing what to say. It was too damn indecent.

Seeing this, Li Jiuzhou gently patted Sha Zhu's left cheek, trying to wake him up.

Sha Zhu, still half asleep, reached out and scratched the spot where Li Jiuzhou had just patted him.

He didn't wake up at all and didn't sleep all night. He only managed to doze off for a while in the morning, and he was very sleepy at that moment.

But he felt a warm sensation on his left cheek and habitually said:

"Don't be silly, wife."

"Hmm." Everyone wanted to burst out laughing, but they were afraid of waking the two of them, so they quickly covered their mouths, feeling uncomfortable from holding it in.

Li Jiuzhou waved to the crowd, signaling them to go out first.

After leaving the mourning hall, Li Jiuzhou picked up a stone and threw it at Wu Lao Er's coffin lid.

"Thump." The sound of the stone hitting the coffin lid was crisp and loud.

Sha Zhu jumped to his feet, picked up the butcher knife beside him, and shouted:

"Old Wu has risen from the dead!"

"Huh? Where is it?" Xu Damao was startled awake, picked up the black donkey hoof and stared at Wu Lao Er's coffin with a look of fear on his face.

No one responded to them, and the atmosphere became quite awkward.

After realizing the situation, Xu Damao started cursing at Sha Zhu:

"Idiot Zhu, are you blind? What nonsense are you spouting so early in the morning? If you were going to come back to life, you would have turned over last night. It's already daytime now."

Sha Zhu felt somewhat guilty and touched his left cheek. Why was it all wet?

Xu Damao also noticed that Shazhu's left cheek was wet. He seemed to remember something, wiped his mouth, smelled it, and then his expression changed drastically as he immediately gagged.

Sha Zhu naturally understood Xu Damao's little tricks, and now he knew everything. His face turned pale instantly.

Pointing at Xu Damao, he trembled and said:

"Xu Damao, are you fucking licking my boots?"

"Get out, get out... I need to go wash up." Xu Damao waved his hands frantically and rushed out of the mourning hall. He needed to wash up; it was too creepy.

Xu Damao felt extremely ashamed. He had dreamt that he had kissed Meizi, and the real touch felt so real.

The thought of kissing Sha Zhu made her want to die.

Sha Zhu also went to wash up, then found Li Jiuzhou and, seeing him busy, went up to ask:

"Senior brother, what can I do for you?"

Li Jiuzhou glanced at him, revealing a look of disgust:

"You're not clean, stay away from me."

"What? What's wrong with me? Senior brother, explain yourself clearly," Sha Zhu asked, puzzled. He hadn't thought of it that way.

Li Jiuzhou didn't even look up:

"In the funeral hall, Da Mao was hugging your head and kissing you. When I called you, you said to stop messing around. You seemed quite happy to be kissed by a man."

"Holy crap!" Sha Zhu stood there in a helpless rage, his innocence ruined just like that, and he felt like dying.

However, the situation is special now, and Sha Zhu can't beat up Xu Damao here. He can only wait until he gets back to give him a good beating to vent his anger.

The Wu family was very lively all day today, with Taoist priests performing rituals and monks chanting sutras.

Many people from the surrounding villages came to watch the spectacle.

While watching the excitement, I'll also light incense for Wu Lao Er. I can even get a free meal, it smells so good.

Don't say that food for the dead doesn't taste good; it depends on the host's circumstances.

The Wu family's "dead man's food" smelled delicious, with fish and meat, enough to make a person stuffed.

Those from poorer backgrounds usually brought their families with them, and on the way back they were so exhausted they could barely walk.

It wasn't that they wanted to take advantage of the situation; it was because Old Master Wu had declared that anyone who came to pay respects to his second son would be provided with a meal, regardless of whether they knew him or not.

So people from all around came running, not for any other reason than to have a good meal.

Sha Zhu watched in amazement.

"Holy crap, how much did this cost, senior?"

"When my dad passed away, we also held a big celebration for him."

"Smack." Sha Zhu was hit hard on the head as soon as he finished speaking.

"Who, who the hell hit me?" Sha Zhu turned around and saw that the one who hit him was his own father, He Daqing, who was looking at him with a gloomy face.

Beside He Daqing were Manager Luan and others. Because the Wu family was making the funeral bigger and bigger, Fengzeyuan had to mobilize manpower again to help.

Manager Luan came to offer his condolences, and he gave Sha Zhu a thumbs-up.

"Zhu Zi, if your father had this kind of scene when he passed away, then he wouldn't have lived in vain."

"Hahahaha..." Everyone was laughing uncontrollably.

Sha Zhu smiled awkwardly, "Dad, don't be angry, I was just joking."

"Come on, have a smoke, have a smoke."

After saying that, he took out a pack of cigarettes and offered them to everyone.

He Daqing took a satisfying drag of his cigarette, and looking at the sea of ​​people at the Wu family's residence, he couldn't help but sigh:

"Zhu Zi, if you really make it look like the Wu family's affair when I pass away, then I'll have lived a worthwhile life!"

"Dad, are you serious?" Sha Zhu asked, his eyes wide.

He Daqing said irritably:

"Of course it's true! Who doesn't want to die in style?"

Sha Zhu was still somewhat skeptical, but it was clear that Manager Luan and the other older generation all nodded in agreement, strongly agreeing with He Daqing's words.

Sha Zhu could only scratch his head and say:

"Alright, when you get old, I'll try my best to make it a bigger event for you, Dad."

After hearing Sha Zhu's words, Manager Luan and the others praised him highly.

"Zhu Zi is filial."

"Righteousness, Pillar."

"I've always thought you were amazing, Zhu Zi!"

Even He Daqing looked pleased and satisfied upon hearing this.

He can't control what his son does after he passes away, but at least he's saying nice things now.

That evening, the Wu family held a grand banquet, and relatives, friends, and business associates came to pay their respects.

The number of tables has changed from the previously agreed 80; now there are more than 120 tables.

Wu Lao Er's status was off the charts.

Of course, although Wu Lao Er's body was left intact, it was not complete. Old Master Wu used his connections to find many craftsmen to repair his son's genitals.

All was settled, and the funeral procession stretched out in a long line early the next morning, accompanied by the deafening sounds of gongs, drums, and firecrackers.

After the funeral, we went back to the Wu family home for a meal; only then was the funeral truly over.

As for Wu Lao Er's fiancée, Su Mei, well, let her do whatever she wants; there's no point in worrying about that anymore.

The Su family also had no trouble; they attended all six meals over two days, so they were treated to a good meal.

They had been wondering about the Wu family's wealth before, but they didn't expect them to be this rich. Over 120 tables! Who the hell could afford to host such an event?

However, Su's father didn't have any ambitions. Since there was no such fate, he didn't want to force it.

Fortunately, her daughter didn't marry into that family, otherwise she would definitely be a widow. The Wu family would never allow their daughter to remarry.

It's all good now. Wu Lao Er is gone, which has relieved the Su family of a huge burden.