The whole nation: You're put to survive on a desolate planet, you'll be running an alien b

Su Wan opened her mouth, but couldn't utter a single word.

She looked at Li Haotian, then at the blood-red vulture and viper emblem on the folder.

Buy it...to guard the gate?

This chain of logic is too bizarre and has exceeded the normal processing range of her brain.

Liu Hu, standing to the side, held a rag and remained frozen in place, not moving for a long time.

He felt like he wasn't working as a bodyguard in an upscale neighborhood, but rather as a caregiver in a mental hospital.

"What are you standing there for?" Li Haotian tapped the rim of the Häagen-Dazs bucket with a spoon, making a crisp sound.

"Investigate it quickly."

Su Wan took a deep breath and forced her brain to start working again.

"Haotian, that's not Taobao, that's 'Purgatory'! It's an international criminal organization that can snatch people from the hands of D.H.I.E.L.D.!"

"I know." Li Haotian scooped up another large spoonful of ice cream.

That's why I'm filing a complaint.

"Their service attitude seriously affected my user experience."

Su Wan completely gave up on communication.

She rubbed her aching temples and resignedly picked up her encrypted phone.

"I'll give it a try."

"You might be able to buy their 'contact information' through top information brokers on the dark web."

"However, the price will be very high, and... the other party may not pay any attention."

Li Haotian waved his hand dismissively, not caring at all.

Money is not a problem.

"Tell them I'm a big client, a super VIP."

Su Wan didn't say anything more, turned around and walked to the corner by the French windows to make a phone call.

Liu Hu watched this surreal scene, silently picked up the vase, changed the angle, and continued wiping.

He decided that he would clean every reflective surface in the villa until it was spotless by the end of the day.

Only in this way can you avoid thinking about those questions that will burn your brain.

About half an hour later.

Su Wan returned, her face even paler than before.

She handed Li Haotian a palm-sized, black communicator that looked like an old-fashioned pager.

"I got it."

Her voice was a little dry.

"The 'Purgatory' organization is the highest-level customer complaint channel."

"One-time encrypted line, call time cannot exceed three minutes, cannot be tracked, and is destroyed after use."

"The price... is three million US dollars."

"Three million?" Li Haotian took the communicator and weighed it in his hand.

"Just to hear me yell at them? That's some impressive after-sales service."

Su Wan felt her heart couldn't take it.

That three million US dollars was a toll, a stepping stone, how did it become an after-sales service fee in his mouth?

Li Haotian ignored her expression and pressed the only red button on the communicator.

"Sizzle..."

After a slight hissing sound, the circuit was connected.

There was complete silence on the other side; not a sound could be heard.

Li Haotian put the communicator to his mouth and cleared his throat.

"Feed? Is this the Purgatory Customer Service Center?"

"I'll find someone who can handle this; I want to file a complaint."

The other side remained deathly silent.

Li Haotian frowned, looking a little impatient.

"Seriously, officer? Such a big company, and you don't even have anyone to answer the phone?"

"Terrible review! This deserves a terrible review!"

Finally, a voice, digitally altered and indistinguishable by gender, cold and robotic, rang out.

"This is purgatory."

"Who are you?"

"Who I am is not important." Li Haotian leaned back on the sofa and shifted into a more comfortable position.

"The important thing is that I am your customer. A very dissatisfied customer, ready to give you a one-star review."

He paused for a moment, then began his performance.

"I placed an order with your outsourcing team 'Bald Eagles,' and what happened? The goods weren't delivered, and the team members all disappeared. Even Pinduoduo would have to give you a thumbs up for your business acumen."

The breathing on the other end paused noticeably for a moment.

"I understand you'll clean up the mess afterward. But what's the point of graffitiing on the walls? It's affecting the city's appearance, damaging public property, and giving the Dragon Shield a boost in performance. Are you some kind of hellish figure or a selfless hero?"

"The most outrageous thing is that you salvaged that thing called 'Tank.' That thing was a defective product I had left over from fighting. You picked it up like it was a treasure? Are you planning to recycle it and turn trash into treasure?"

Li Haotian felt much better after finishing his sentence in one breath.

On the other end of the phone, that cold voice rang out again, but this time, it carried an undisguised murderous intent.

"Your coordinates are being locked."

"You have thirty seconds left."

"Thirty seconds?" Li Haotian scoffed.

"With this kind of efficiency? No wonder your business isn't growing big."

He closed his eyes, and the entire world, in his perception, instantly transformed into an endless torrent of data.

Through that encrypted line, he "saw" a virtual network spanning the globe, composed of countless nodes.

At that moment, more than a dozen data streams, like sharks smelling blood, were frantically rushing towards him, the signal source.

"Found it."

Li Haotian uttered three words softly.

On the other end of the phone, a cold voice carried a hint of cat-and-mouse sarcasm.

"Twenty seconds."

"Oh, right," Li Haotian suddenly said.

"Just a friendly reminder."

"Your data relay station in Frankfurt is using the 'Cerberus 3.7' firewall, right?"

The other side remained silent.

"That thing has a backdoor. Your systems engineer was slacking off."

Li Haotian spoke slowly.

"The encryption key for the routing node is 'For Whom the Bell Tolls 1888'."

"Remember to change it next time, you're welcome."

The moment the words fell.

Deep underground, in the cold command center, a piercing alarm suddenly blared!

Behind the circular desk, in front of a man dressed in a white priest's robe, dozens of floating light screens instantly turned blood red!

"Warning! Warning! Unknown data stream intrusion detected!"

"Firewall bypassed! Root privileges stolen!"

"Tracking process... has crashed!"

The hall was in complete chaos.

Just then, all the blood-red light screens suddenly went black.

The next second, a cartoon version of the alien with a unique art style appeared on all the screens.

Wearing sunglasses and swaying wildly to the catchy tune of "I'm Playing in the Mud in Northeast China," it began to rock out.

The entire command hall was instantly filled with this eerie music and dance.

"drop--"

The communicator in Li Haotian's hand emitted a soft beep.

He knew the three-minute call was over.

In the last second before the communicator self-destructed, he lazily added a sentence into the microphone.

"Oh, by the way, please pass on a message to your second-in-command, that guy called 'Scorpion'."

"Just tell her I have a way to help her kick that old charlatan bishop off his seat."

"Tell her that if she wants to climb the social ladder, she should come to me with some sincerity."

"Alright, that's it. The bad review is here. Bye."

After saying that, he released his grip.

The black communicator fell onto the soft carpet and silently turned into a handful of black powder.

Li Haotian stretched and picked up the bucket of Häagen-Dazs again.

He scooped out a large spoonful, stuffed it into his mouth, and squinted his eyes in satisfaction.

The living room was deathly silent.

Su Wan and Liu Hu stood like two stone statues, staring motionlessly at the handful of black powder.

The contents of Li Haotian's phone call were still replaying in their minds.

Complaints... Negative reviews... Usurpation...

What... what exactly is going on?

Is it a war against one of the world's top criminal organizations?

Or is it... an unprecedented transnational telecommunications fraud?

"Why are you looking at me?" Li Haotian noticed their gazes and asked vaguely.

"The ice cream is melting, aren't you going to eat it?"