A heretical cultivator in Bureau 749, I'm the fiercest at pulling out tendons and skinning peop

In the morning light, three heads huddled together under the shade of a tree in a secluded mountain hollow, their eyes fixed on the "small mountain" in the middle, which looked as green as a wolf that hadn't eaten for three months.

"point!"

Ji Zuodao waved his hand with great enthusiasm, then quickly bent down, his claws moving so fast they left afterimages, and swiftly slashed into his own human skin bag.

"This small jade Buddha is of excellent quality; it's destined to be with me!"

"This box contains South China Sea agarwood; the smell is wonderful, it's mine!"

"These gold bars... hey, they're heavy, they're mine too!"

"This string of relics..."

"Snapped!"

A dog's paw landed squarely on Ji Zuodao's wrist as he reached for the relic.

Dog-Grandpa grinned, his eyes gleaming coldly, and he forced out a sound through clenched teeth:

"Kid, are you chanting some kind of mantra? 'Mine, mine,' it's all yours? Do you think I'm here to watch your personal show?"

It pointed with its paw at the "small mountain" that Ji Zuodao had pushed aside:

"From the beginning until now, you've muttered 'mine' eighteen times, and all that kid Li got are three tattered scriptures! What, did I, Doggy, not do anything, or is kid Li just here to be your porter?"

Li Shuwen squatted down beside him, holding a pen and a small notebook, watching eagerly. Upon hearing this, he quickly waved his hand, his face beaming with "understanding."

"Hey, Dog Master, Brother Ji did the most work, so it's only right that he gets the lion's share... I'm just glad I can learn from him and pick up some literary knowledge, hehe..."

That's what he said, but his eyes never left the pile of glittering objects in front of Ji Zuodao.

Ji Zuodao was exposed on the spot by Gouye, and feeling a little embarrassed, he coughed twice:

"Hey, I'm just... doing a preliminary sorting and classification! What's the rush? Everyone gets a share, everyone gets a share!"

As he spoke, reluctantly, he pushed the jade Buddha and half a box of sandalwood back to the center.

"Alright, alright, let's redo it! I'm magnanimous, I won't hold it against you."

He rubbed his hands together, finally behaving more seriously this time, but the way he divided them still exuded a strong sense of roguishness:

"Well, this one's nice, mine. That one's alright too, mine. Hey, this one looks ordinary, you can have it, Doggy. This one... so-so, Shuwen, you can keep it."

"This is really nice, and it's mine..."

"Woof! You looking for trouble, don't you?!"

Dog Master finally couldn't hold back any longer. With a kick of his hind legs, his blood-red mouth, carrying a foul stench, lunged at Ji Zuodao's protruding buttocks!

"Hey! Don't bite! We'll split it! I mean what I say, split it! It's split it!"

Ji Zuodao was so frightened that he jumped back a long distance, clutching his buttocks and yelling in pain.

After a chaotic scene of shouting, spittle flying, and almost a full-blown fight, the three of them finally managed to each accumulate a small pile of "property" in front of them.

The items in front of Ji Zuodao were the most numerous, with spiritual materials, pills, gold, and silver making up the majority.

There's a multitude of things in front of Master Dog; you can find anything.

The fewest items in front of Li Shuwen were the most exquisite, mostly ancient books, paintings, Buddhist treasures with a scholarly air, and a few small but spiritually profound ritual implements.

He was holding a scroll of Buddhist scriptures handwritten by a virtuous monk from a previous dynasty, grinning from ear to ear, his fingers trembling, muttering to himself:

"We're rich! We're really rich now... We won't have to worry about supplies of writing materials for the next few decades!"

"Look at your pathetic self."

Ji Zuodao pursed his lips, carefully put away the pale golden relic, about the size of a pigeon egg and with faint dragon patterns, which he had been given, and then patted the bulging human skin bag.

"Let's get this straight first, this 30% is our 'hardship fee,' and the remaining 70% has to be handed over to the bureau and put into the public account. Although I love money, I also know what it means to have a steady stream of income and sustainable development."

"But even this 30% is enough for us brothers to eat our fill for years!"

He picked up a gold brick, put it to his lips, and bit it, listening to the intoxicatingly subtle sound, before letting out a satisfied sigh.

"You know, Buddhism is the fastest way to make money. After all, without money, who's going to gild your statue? Who's going to light your everlasting lamp?"

Li Shuwen carefully tucked the several scrolls of ancient paintings into his sleeve, his brow furrowing slightly as if he had thought of something.

"Brother, with Jinding Temple suffering this calamity, what if that old monk Jinchi... in desperation, secretly notifies the other temples to prepare? Should we strike while the iron is hot, lest something unforeseen happens?"

"Notification? Preparation?"

Upon hearing this, Ji Zuodao chuckled, stretched, and his bones cracked softly.

His usual sly smile reappeared on his face.

"Old Li, you think too kindly of people, especially those bald monks."

He casually picked up a gemstone from the ground, which he had somehow managed to pry off, and tossed it around as if playing with it, speaking in a relaxed tone.

"That old codger Jinchi is probably looking at my register right now, crying his eyes out. His first thought isn't to report anything, but rather that he'd love for the other temples to be in trouble tomorrow!"

"Why should you be able to rest easy and continue to live a life of luxury and receive offerings just because my Golden Peak Temple's century-long savings have vanished overnight? Why should I, now penniless, be expected to protect your vast fortune?"

"Sharing happiness is worse than enjoying it alone? That's a lie to fools. The truth is, sharing misfortune is worse than suffering alone!"

"If you've fallen into a pit yourself, and then turn around to see everyone else still frolicking on the shore, how would you feel?"

"Not only will he not inform us, he might even help cover it up, and he'd love for us to hurry up and 'take care' of his old friends and colleagues."

"If we're poor, we're poor together; if we're destitute, we're destitute together. That's what true camaraderie is—Buddhism is about equality!"

"Just wait and see. Before long, these outside monks in Jinghai will not only fail to receive any warning, but will become even more convinced, because of the illusion that everything at Jinding Temple is 'as usual' and 'calm and peaceful,' that their old trick of feigning poverty is still effective."

"We just need to wait a few days, let this illusion of calm ferment a bit more."

"Then, we'll go knock on the door of the next mountain."

Li Shuwen was stunned, then shook his head and chuckled, cupping his hands in a respectful gesture: "Brother, I admire your grasp of people's hearts. I was mistaken."

Dog-Grandpa let out a loud yawn, his tail patting the ground listlessly.

"This is all so winding and tiring. Let's all go home. I need to find somewhere to digest my food; I'm a bit full from drinking that pool of water..."

"Alright, let's go home. We'll eat and drink our fill and recharge."

Ji Zuodao turned around, patted Li Shuwen on the shoulder, and then kicked Dog Master's butt.

"This job of bringing warmth..."

"And they're quite busy."

On the other side, the Golden Summit Temple.

The old monk Jinchi was staring blankly at a bowl of rice porridge so thin you could see your reflection in it. The last bit of color on his face hadn't fully recovered from the blow he'd suffered that morning, and it was ashen, the same color as the old incense ash in the incense burner.

A young novice monk tiptoed in, his voice barely audible:

"Abbot, Abbot Huiming of Baoguang Temple in the South City has arrived. He said he just stopped by to stop by and ask for a cup of tea."

The old monk Jinchi tightened his grip on the wooden spoon almost imperceptibly, without even lifting his eyelids.

Sit down? Want some tea?

Pooh!

That old bald monk, his nose is sharper than a dog's! He spreads news really fast!

They saw that Jinding Temple had been "taken care of" yesterday, and rushed over to find out what was going on, to see if the Yama sent down from above was a real Yama or just a paper tiger!

Damn it, so this time, Jinding Temple has become the scapegoat for all the Buddhist sects in Beijing!