A heretical cultivator in Bureau 749, I'm the fiercest at pulling out tendons and skinning peop

"No, no, no! Uncle Liu! Uncle Liu, please calm down! I was wrong! I was really wrong!"

Just moments ago, Ji Zuodao was acting like a big shot, but as soon as he saw that Deputy Director Liu was about to get serious, he instantly lost his composure and jumped up from the sofa like a spring.

His arrogance vanished completely, replaced by a standard, fawning, sycophantic smile.

He hurriedly pushed the several bulging human skin bags he was carrying and on the table in front of Deputy Director Liu, his movements as gentle as if he were presenting the Imperial Seal of the State.

"Uncle Liu, take a look at this first! You can beat him up after you've looked at it! It's guaranteed to be worth it! Absolutely worth it!"

Deputy Director Liu glanced at him suspiciously, temporarily lowered his stance, picked up a bag, untied the drawstring, and peeked inside—

Holy crap!

Even though Deputy Director Liu was well-informed and had amazing composure, he was still startled by the sudden burst of golden light that almost solidified, and instinctively snapped the bag shut again.

He steadied himself, took a deep breath, and then carefully opened the bag again, squinting as he peered inside.

Good guy!

The gilded Buddha statues were crammed together in the bag, while the gold bricks were stacked neatly.

Various Buddhist ritual implements radiating spiritual light, relics faintly exuding sandalwood fragrance and spiritual pressure, and boxes of rare spiritual herbs and elixirs with a strong medicinal aroma...

The dazzling array of treasures almost blinded his usually discerning eyes.

"Holy crap!"

After struggling for a while, Deputy Director Liu finally managed to utter two words, pointing at Ji Zuodao with his fingers trembling slightly.

"Little Princess...Little Princess!"

"Uncle Liu, I'm asking you to set some rules, to give them a warning, to make them stop their inappropriate actions and pay what they're owed!"

"I'm not asking you to wipe out their entire family, confiscate their property, and even dig up their ancestral master's coffin!"

"Look at this! Look at what this is!"

He patted the human skin bag, producing a dull, metallic clanging sound.

"Did they just raid the entire temple, shove it all up?! They probably sucked every last bone marrow out of it!"

Deputy Director Liu felt the matter was increasingly serious. He suddenly stood up, paced around his office a couple of times, then suddenly remembered something, abruptly turned his head, and stared intently at Ji Zuodao, his eyes sharp as knives.

"I'm warning you, Ji Zuodao, don't you dare get any funny ideas! These things are hot potatoes, extremely hot potatoes!"

"Don't even think about running away tonight with this little bit of stuff! We'll leave Beijing on a smuggling boat, first to international waters, then on to Vietnam, Myanmar, Laos, Cambodia..."

"Let me tell you, no way! I could fish you out of the Mekong River and then beat you back in!"

Ji Zuodao's lips twitched as he listened, his expression one of utter innocence and grievance:

"Uncle Liu... Look at what you're saying, do you think I'm that kind of person? My heart is pure, heaven and earth can bear witness! Besides..."

"You've planned my escape route quite thoroughly... huh? That took a lot of effort..."

Stop being so cheeky!

Deputy Director Liu glared at him irritably, pointing at the bags, "Speak! What happened? Don't tell me you actually razed that temple to the ground!"

"No way! Uncle Liu, I'm all about following the rules!"

Upon seeing that the alarm had been temporarily lifted, Ji Zuodao quickly stepped forward, rubbing his hands together and putting on that classic, harmless, shy smile.

He began by recounting, from beginning to end, his entire scheme of "first release, then capture, register, and then shut down the family line" to Deputy Director Liu, complete with embellishments and details.

From how to deliberately leak information, to how the other party desperately tried to hide the assets, to how to meticulously register the junk, and finally how to use "professional methods" to thoroughly "clean up" the unregistered assets under the cover of night...

He spoke with great enthusiasm, while Li Shuwen nodded and bowed obsequiously beside him, and Dog Master also let out a timely burp as proof.

Deputy Director Liu listened to the plan and its execution process, which was even more outrageous than a science fiction story, as he held a cup of freshly refilled hot tea.

His facial expression shifted from shock to bewilderment, then to numbness, finally settling into an extremely complex and indescribable look.

The office was quiet for a while.

The only sounds were the faint licking of the dog's paws and Li Shuwen's nervous swallowing.

Finally, Deputy Director Liu slowly put down his teacup, raised his eyelids, and lingered for a long time on Ji Zuodao's face, which was filled with the desire for praise.

He then glanced at the bags of "trophies" that would drive any cultivator mad.

He opened his mouth as if to say something, then closed it again.

After several repetitions, it finally turned into a long sigh filled with endless emotion.

"well……"

Deputy Director Liu rubbed his temples, his tone filled with exhaustion and a sense of absurdity, as if to say, "After all these years in the underworld, I've finally seen the light."

"You know what a mess this is..."

He paused, looking at Ji Zuodao with a complex expression, as if he were looking at a rare treasure.

"I don't even know whether to say those old bald monks are too filthy..."

"Or should I say, you little rascal—"

He pointed at Ji Zuodao with his finger.

"Damn it, they're dirtier and more ruthless than them from the bottom up!"

Ji Zuodao chuckled at Deputy Director Liu's helpless expression, which seemed to say, "I really can't do anything with you, you little rascal." He plopped back down on the sofa and crossed his legs again.

"Uncle Liu, don't put on airs! There are no outsiders here, so don't keep your joy to yourself. It's bad for your health to keep it bottled up!"

"Ha ha ha ha!"

Deputy Director Liu finally couldn't hold back any longer. He slammed his fist on the table and burst into loud laughter, his voice so loud it made the windowpanes vibrate.

"Alright! Little Ji, you're something else! I knew I hadn't misjudged you!"

He laughed so hard that the wrinkles around his eyes crinkled into crescents, and wiped away non-existent tears.

"I never thought those arrogant, haughty outsiders would actually be like this! It's so satisfying! It's fucking satisfying!"

After laughing enough, Deputy Director Liu reached into his pocket, pulled out a cigarette case, shook it out, put it in his mouth, and fumbled for a lighter.

With a soft "pop" sound, a small flame had already moved closer to the cigarette butt.

Ji Zuodao had somehow crept over, holding a disposable lighter in his hand and wearing a standard fawning smile.

Deputy Director Liu lit a cigarette from his hand, took a deep drag, exhaled a round smoke ring, then leaned back, as if he had opened a floodgate, and began to pour out his troubles to Ji Zuodao:

"Little Ji, you have no idea, ever since Old Zhang ran off to suppress that damn new kind of monster two years ago and abandoned his post, the damn job of collecting 'compliant taxes' from these sects in Jinghai has fallen on my shoulders!"

"I'm not cut out for this kind of work. Your uncle here is straightforward; I'd rather take action than talk!"

"But when it comes to collecting money, there are rules and regulations, and evidence is required. You have to play mind games and argue with those slippery old men!"

"Those brats down there are even more useless! They're as honest as a rock, completely fooled by those old foxes from the sects. They know perfectly well that these guys have a pocketful of gold ingots hidden in their pants, but they just can't find any evidence against them!"

"They came back and reported to me, all with long faces, so angry they ate three extra bowls of rice for dinner. Damn it, all they do is eat, they don't know any better!"

Deputy Director Liu became increasingly agitated as he spoke, and he almost smoked his cigarette down to the filter.

"I'm even worse off! I can't meet my targets every year, and at the end of the year, when I go to the General Administration meeting, those bespectacled bastards yell at me like I'm their grandson! It's so frustrating! It's fucking frustrating!"

As Ji Zuodao listened, he timely offered Liu another cigarette, lighting it thoughtfully, and patted him on the back with his other hand, his tone full of empathy and righteous indignation:

"Uncle Liu, you've suffered! If I had known you were carrying such a heavy burden, I would have come to help you much sooner!"

"It's not too late! Don't worry, I'll take care of this 'death warrant' for you from now on!"

"It's just getting those tightwads to pluck your feathers, right? Just say the word, and I, your nephew, will take care of any dissent. I guarantee they'll pluck your feathers willingly, and they'll even thank me!"

"good!"

Deputy Director Liu had been waiting for this very sentence. He stopped smoking, stubbed out his cigarette in the ashtray, and slammed his hand on the table, making the teacup jump.

"That's exactly what I've been waiting for you to say!"

He deftly pulled out his phone and tapped it a few times.

"Ding-dong."

Ji Zuodao's cell phone rang in his pocket.

"Little Ji, I'm entrusting this new list, along with the register of major tax defaulters and troublesome sects from previous years, entirely to you!"

Deputy Director Liu put his phone back in his pocket, leaned forward, lowered his voice, and a knowing smile appeared on his rugged face. He gestured with his finger in the air:

"Uncle just wants to meet the bureau's targets for this year perfectly! So those old fogies at the General Administration will have nothing to say!"

"As for the rest, consider it your activity fund. You've been traveling and working hard, so you should have some tea to soothe your throat..."

He and Ji Zuodao exchanged a glance.

Ji Zuodao's face broke into a knowing, radiant smile as he rubbed his hands together.

"Understood! Don't worry, Uncle Liu! I guarantee the indicators will rise clearly and transparently, and our tea... will be brewed to be rich and flavorful!"

The two looked at each other and remained silent for a second.

Then--

"Hehehe..."

In the office, two low laughs, one loud and one soft, both filled with joy and a certain unspoken understanding, rang out.

One of them smiled as if he had just unloaded a heavy burden.

One of them smiled as if he saw mountains of gold and silver beckoning to him.