A heretical cultivator in Bureau 749, I'm the fiercest at pulling out tendons and skinning peop

The moment the phone notification sounded, Ji Zuodao's fingers moved faster than his brain, and he subconsciously swiped to accept the mission.

A message box popped up saying "Connection successful".

Ji Zuodao stared at the screen and remained silent for half a second.

"Damn, that was too hasty."

Damn it, why are you moving so fast when you're not grabbing a red envelope?

Well, I've already accepted the call, so I'll see what it is first.

He opened the task details:

Mission type: Rescue

Location: No. 444 Yong'an Road, Jinghai City ("Huiwei" Home-Style Restaurant)

Description: Strange, irregular fluctuations were detected at this location.

Five minutes ago, the last footage before the signal was blocked showed that three men and two women (suspected to be ordinary customers) had entered.

Please have the nearest investigator immediately proceed to handle the situation, prioritizing public safety.

[Note] The characteristics of "weird" are special. It is recommended to refer to Appendix 3 of the "Guide to Classifying Abnormal Entities (7th Edition)".

Weird?

Ji Zuodao blinked; the word was new to him.

He had been dealing with demons, monsters, and unorthodox practices since he was a child, and he had never actually heard of anything called "weird".

"Holy crap, you answered?"

Liu Ming, who was standing next to him, leaned over and saw the details of the mission; his expression became somewhat subtle.

"Hmm, what is this weird thing? Is it a new species of demon? Or a mutated vengeful spirit?" Ji Zuodao asked.

Liu Ming scratched his head and said:

"Oh right, it's normal that you haven't seen it before. These things have only become more common in recent years, and they're even listed as a separate category in the files."

"To put it another way—neither demon, nor monster, nor ghost, nor monster, nobody knows where they came from, like... a shell encased in rules."

"Its combat power is usually not that great, but the problem is that it's 'unkillable.' Even if you blast it to dust, it will reappear somewhere else after a while, with the exact same rules, just like it refreshes in a game."

"However, it seems they have conditions for killing."

Liu Ming gestured to indicate his name.

"They're bound by certain rules. As long as you're quick-witted and avoid the pitfalls set by those rules, ordinary people have a chance to get out unscathed. Of course, if you do get trapped, it's hard to say."

"Rules? Interesting."

Ji Zuodao licked his lips, a hunter's interest in discovering a new species flashing in his eyes.

"Go see what's going on. Do you have a car? Lend me one."

"Yes, drive it anywhere."

Liu Ming readily pulled out a car key and pointed to a blue SUV that was neither new nor old in the parking lot outside the window.

"That one, it belongs to the government, it's pretty rough, so you can build as much as you want out of it, it's a consumable anyway."

Ji Zuodao glanced at the car; although it wasn't new, it was clearly a heavily modified vehicle.

He took a deep breath: As expected of a state-owned enterprise, even their official vehicles are so practical.

"Thank you, Brother Liu!"

He thanked them, put away the newly acquired recorder and phone, called out to Dog Master who was yawning at his feet, and walked out excitedly.

Watching the man and dog rush downstairs like a whirlwind, Liu Ming suddenly remembered something critical and, gripping the window, shouted down:

"Hey! Brother Ji! Do you...do you have a driver's license?!"

Downstairs, Ji Zuodao had already opened the car door.

Then, under Liu Ming's increasingly fixed gaze, he very naturally... went around to the other side, opened the passenger door, climbed in, and sat comfortably.

The big black dog, meanwhile, jumped into the driver's seat with practiced ease.

Dog adjusted the seat, bit the seatbelt with its mouth, and fastened it with a "click." It even reached out its paw to pull over and fasten Ji Zuodao's seatbelt next to it.

Then, it put one front paw on the steering wheel, and the other paw... engaged the gear.

The blue SUV let out a low growl, smoothly drove out of the parking space, made a smooth turn, and drove out of Bureau 749.

Liu Ming leaned against the window, watching the car's taillights disappear around the street corner, remaining motionless for a long time.

He opened his mouth, then closed it again, finally letting out a sigh, just like Old Zhou's, filled with a sense of life's感慨 (gǎnkǎi, a deep feeling of reflection or wistfulness):

"These days... I can run into all sorts of strange things."

He took out his phone, silently opened the internal address book, and found Lao Liu from the Traffic Management Section.

"Hey, Brother Liu, this is Liu Ming. Um... just need to register this. License plate: Beijing A·749XX. It's for a special operation. Driver information... uh, just write 'Special Consultant, Non-human, Registered'..."

……

The blue SUV glided smoothly into the thin morning light.

The dog casually rested one of its front paws on the steering wheel, looking as relaxed as if it were taking a stroll in the park.

Its other paw occasionally fiddles with the buttons on the center console to adjust the air conditioning direction.

The car was driven exceptionally smoothly, with turn signals activated in advance when changing lanes and slowing down to observe at intersections.

Even at zebra crossings without traffic lights, they will lightly tap the brakes with their paws to give way to elderly people who are out for a morning stroll.

The rules were so strict they brought tears to my eyes.

"Dog, you're quite the expert! You can even drive this kind of car. I thought you could only drive a three-wheeled motorcycle."

Ji Zuodao was slumped in the passenger seat, fiddling with his newly acquired encrypted phone.

With a swift swipe of the fingertip, the user opens the "Seven-Colored Violet" app and quickly browses through the "weird" files.

Dog snorted through his nose, his voice carrying a sense of calm and composure born of experience.

"Back then, I followed your three masters all over the country, what kind of equipment haven't I tinkered with? Hand tractors, farm tricycles, donkey carts, horse-drawn carriages... This metal shell with four wheels, anyone with hands can handle it."

"Those are claws."

"Pretty much the same!"

While waiting at a red light, Ji Zuodao swiped his finger again and opened the "749 Bureau Field Operations Safety Regulations (Third Edition)" highlighted in red in the APP.

He remembered the master chef's teachings clearly:

If you want to live comfortably among good people while wearing the skin of an official, you have to understand their rules even better than they do.

Knowing the rules isn't about being a good child; it's about knowing where the line is, how to walk within it, and how to avoid being criticized.

The red light countdown feels endless.

In the next lane was a light pink Mini Cooper, driven by a well-dressed young woman who was taking advantage of the few seconds of downtime to quickly touch up her lipstick in the small mirror on the sun visor.

She glanced to the side unintentionally, her gaze sweeping over the driver's seat of the SUV next to her—

sunglasses.

Black fur.

A dog's face with its tongue sticking out.

And a furry dog ​​paw resting on the steering wheel.

The girl froze instantly, her eyes widening in shock. The YSL gold bar in her hand fell onto her skirt with a "thud," leaving a glaring red mark.

Dog seemed to sense the burning gaze beside it. It slowly turned its head, calmly raised its paw from the steering wheel, and waved it at the petrified girl.

It's like a greeting between veteran drivers.

girl:"……"

"Beep beep—!"

The impatient honking of the car behind her woke the girl up.

She jerked violently and frantically reached for the steering wheel, nearly honking the horn in the process.

Meanwhile, the blue SUV in the adjacent lane had already been nibbled away from the intersection the moment the light turned green by Dog.

All that remained was the halo of the taillights and the girl standing there, disheveled.

Ten minutes later, the blue SUV turned onto the somewhat old Yong'an Road.

This street isn't a main thoroughfare, but it exudes the slow pace characteristic of the old town.

The shops on both sides are mostly quite old.

A hardware store with a faded sign, a tobacco and liquor store with dusty glass counters, a tea shop with a "Prime Location for Rent" sign...

Pedestrians and vehicles were sparse.

Following the navigation, Ji Zuodao directed Gouye to circle around twice on the not-so-wide road before finally spotting the address at the entrance of a narrow alleyway, easily overlooked and cluttered with several old trash cans—

No. 444 Yong'an Road.

The storefront is narrow, and the signboard is a faded red background with gold lettering: "Reminiscent of Home-Style Dishes".

The roller shutter door was half-open, and the inside was pitch black, like a silent mouth.

Ji Zuodao got out of the car and looked at the task description on his phone screen: "Five minutes ago, three men and two women entered."

He looked up again at the suspicious restaurant hidden in a secluded alley early in the morning, and his lips twitched involuntarily.

"Were those five unlucky guys out of their minds or what? In the dead of night, how could they possibly venture into this desolate, ghostly corner to find food?"