A heretical cultivator in Bureau 749, I'm the fiercest at pulling out tendons and skinning peop

"Ouch! Auntie! It hurts! It really hurts!"

Ji Zuodao was being pulled by the ear, his face contorted in pain, his whole body twisted into a pretzel.

Also weird.

With his physique honed by his three masters, let alone pulling his ear, even if they actually tore his ear off, he wouldn't even flinch.

But the Empress's slender fingers simply pinched and lifted it lightly—

Good guy!

That agonizing pain! That piercing agony! That pain that shot straight to the top of your head!

It was as if he wasn't just pinching the ear, but the master switch for all the pain receptors in his entire body!

"elder brother!"

Qiqi watched from below, her heart aching, and her big, innocent eyes instantly welled up with tears.

The little girl, no longer afraid, ran over, stretched out her two little hands, tried to stand on tiptoe, grabbed Ji Zuodao's trouser leg, and pulled it down.

"Auntie, don't bully my brother! He's in pain!"

And so, an extremely absurd yet heartwarming scene unfolded—

Above, the empress, dressed in fiery red, moved languidly, lifting a large man with just two fingers.

Below, Qiqi's little face turned bright red as she pulled down with all her might, her little body almost hanging on Ji Zuodao's legs.

In the middle, Ji Zuodao was being pulled by these two forces, his feet almost leaving the ground, howling in pain, looking just like a suckling pig being roasted over a fire.

"Giggle giggle..."

On the ground, the little fox who had been watching the whole thing finally couldn't hold back anymore and rolled around laughing, its tail kicking up dust.

It finally understood.

This is what they call—the wicked will always be punished by the wicked!

No, he's a cunning scoundrel, and there's an even more cunning and shrewd empress to deal with him!

"Alright, alright! I confess! I'll confess everything, okay, Auntie!"

Ji Zuodao could no longer endure this torture of being "attacked from above and below and publicly executed," and he begged for mercy at the top of his lungs, his voice trembling with sobs.

"Auntie~"

He turned his head and tried his best to give the Empress a pitiful expression that was a mixture of pain, pleading, and utmost sincerity.

"Auntie~"

Qiqi also tilted her little face up, her big eyes watery, and called out softly along with her brother.

Those two equally beautiful eyes, both filled with "please let me go," gazed expectantly at the Empress, one above the other.

Its destructive power is comparable to that of a nuclear bomb.

The Empress's smile deepened, her eyes sparkled, and finally she let out a soft "humph" and loosened her grip.

"Alright, stop making it sound like Auntie is some kind of terrible villain."

She leaned back lazily into the old sofa, a cheap item worth a few hundred yuan, yet she managed to make it look like a high-end custom-made sofa worth millions.

With a flick of her finger, the dark black seed reappeared, nimbly weaving and leaping between her slender white fingers, like a living spirit.

"Hmph, your losses."

Ji Zuodao covered his bright red ears, hissing as he inhaled the cold air, but his eyes were slyly following the throbbing seed on the Empress's fingertip.

My mind started calculating uncontrollably—

Distance, three steps.

Auntie's attention seems to be a little distracted.

With Qiqi on the side, she can provide cover.

If we suddenly attack now, snatch the seeds, and run, the success rate...

He was calculating things very carefully.

Over there, the empress seemed to sense something, lifted her eyelids, and lazily glanced at him.

In her peach blossom eyes, there was a half-smile.

It also carried a hint of encouragement, like "Give it a try!"

Ji Zuodao shuddered, and the daring idea that had just surfaced quickly retreated.

He instantly deflated, his head drooping, the last vestige of hope in his heart collapsing like a punctured balloon.

Forget it.

No.

Absolutely not.

It's completely sealed.

My aunt would hang me from that crooked old tree on the back hill and whip me with her special little leather whip until I couldn't get out of bed for three years.

The lessons learned in blood are still fresh in our minds.

Ji Zuodao immediately wilted, obediently pulling his head back and continuing to rub his bright red ears.

Wow, this is something else...

blood loss.

"well--"

Master Ji Zuo sighed deeply, his handsome face contorted into a bitter expression.

What should I do?

Qiqi is my precious daughter; I can't bear to part with her.

Seeds, they were a lifeline, I wanted them too.

These multiple-choice questions are even more torturous than elementary school math word problems!

His eyes darted around, then suddenly he rolled over, snuggled up to the Empress, and naturally took her arm, starting to wriggle and act coquettishly like a piece of candy.

"Auntie~ Good auntie~ Dear auntie~"

Her voice is so sweet it could kill three pounds of bees.

"Give it to me~ Give me the seeds~"

"If all else fails..."

He closed his eyes, steeled his resolve, and pointed to Dog Master in the corner, who was pretending not to exist.

"I'll trade you Dogman! Dogman... he's incredibly strong and muscular! You definitely won't lose out!"

Dog Lord: "???"

It suddenly raised its head, its dog eyes filled with shock and anger, as if to say, "Are you even human?"

The Empress glanced sideways at the Dog Lord, her red lips curling into a look of utter disgust that was practically tangible.

"hehe."

"That little bastard..."

She dragged out the melody, her fingertips moving casually.

"That won't satisfy Auntie~"

Upon hearing this, Ji Zuodao also turned his head, giving the same disgusted look as the Empress, and looked Dog Master up and down before adding insult to injury with a pained expression:

"Exactly! Damn it, so useless!"

"At least before, I could exchange it for a box of fresh flower cakes!"

"Now? Tsk, even if you paid them, nobody would want them!"

Dog Lord: "..."

It silently lowered its head and buried its face in its front paws.

In my heart, I used all my might to curse these two inhuman creatures eight times over, in 365 different dialects, in ever-changing and innovative ways.

Damn those two bastards!

Back in the day, I was a well-known handsome young man in the surrounding area! I was in high demand!

This is malicious price-cutting! It's slander!

The Empress seemed to have had her fill of teasing, and lazily extended her slender, jade-like finger, painted with bright red nail polish, to gently lift Ji Zuodao's chin.

Her peach blossom eyes narrowed slightly, and as they darted around, a dangerous, playful, yet incredibly alluring smile appeared on her face.

"Since you won't let Auntie have your precious daughter..."

She moved closer, her warm, peach-scented breath gently brushing against Ji Zuodao's stiff face.

"Well... let's change to something else~"

"Little Princess~"

The empress's voice was both sweet and seductive, and she gently traced her fingertips across his chin.

"Auntie, there have been some important moments when I haven't properly called you 'I like you'."

"I'm so hungry!"

Ji Zuodao froze, and the hairs on the back of his neck stood up and saluted!

"Aunt……"

His Adam's apple bobbed, his voice was a little dry, and it carried obvious fear and pleading.

"Not again?"

"This...this place...the soundproofing isn't very good..."

He tried to make a last-ditch effort.

Upon hearing this, the Empress's red lips curved into a lazy yet domineering smile, as if to say, "I was prepared all along."

"What's the big deal?"

She smiled and spoke the most terrifying words in the gentlest tone:

"Auntie, please rest..."

"Let me shut your mouth up~"

Ji Zuo said: "..."

It’s over.

Barbie Q is here.

To get the seeds, I'll probably have to sacrifice myself to feed my aunt tonight.

He closed his eyes in despair, his mind already replaying the miserable memories of how he had been "favored" by the Empress for three days afterward, and how his legs would go weak at the sight of red.

Dog buried his face even deeper, but his ears quietly perked up.

Hey.

Although his reputation was damaged.

But we can see that bastard Ji Zuodao getting his comeuppance...

like……

Not a loss?