A heretical cultivator in Bureau 749, I'm the fiercest at pulling out tendons and skinning peop

The first few days after Ji Zuodao returned to the 749th Bureau in Jinghai for his roll call were remarkably regular.

I clock in, slack off, and occasionally do some insignificant fieldwork. After that, I pick up Qiqi from school on time.

He is a model civil servant who works a typical 9-to-5 job and is dedicated to his work.

That afternoon, Ji Zuodao sat with his legs crossed, munching on sunflower seeds while idly browsing the 749 internal forum.

On the forum homepage, a bold, red-highlighted post with extremely high popularity is firmly displayed at the top, with the "hot" icon following it practically smoking from being clicked.

The title itself gives off a sense of urgency:

"749 Grand Military Exercise Countdown! Elite troops from all provinces are sharpening their weapons; who will reign supreme?!"

"Um?"

Ji Zuodao raised an eyebrow, and with a flick of his finger, he poked it in.

Good heavens, the discussion in the thread was incredibly lively, with drums and firecrackers going off everywhere.

The speed at which the screen refreshes is comparable to grabbing red envelopes during Chinese New Year.

[Floor 1 (ID: Old Wang's Cousin Next Door)]: First! This year, my great Liaodong will surely avenge our past humiliations! Who else but us can be number one in armed conflict!

[Floor 2 (ID: Jiannanchun is the Right Path)]: How many kilograms did the person upstairs drink? Wake up, anything can happen in dreams. For martial arts, look to Beijing; for literary contests, look to Jiangnan. That's common sense! Don't you understand common sense?!

[Floor 4 (ID: Old Turtle in Dongting Lake)]: A battle of wits! A battle of wits is the only way to win! It's about brains! It's about strategy! It's about knowledge reserves! Mere brute force is insignificant!

【Floor 5 (ID: You are the Warrior)】: @Old Turtle in Dongting Lake, ptooey! Last year during the written exam, whose representative added "Hallelujah" after "Taishang Laojun ji ji ru lü ling"? Oh, it seems to be from your Dongting Lake Bureau?

[Floor 6 (ID: Old Turtle in Dongting Lake)]: ...That's cultural exchange! Cultural integration! You know nothing!

[Floor 7 (ID: Eating Melon Without Spitting Out Seeds)]: Am I the only one curious about who Jinghai will send this year? Director Zhang's bandit den... tsk tsk.

[Floor 8 (ID: Jinghai Enthusiastic Citizen)]: Shh—keep it down, keep it down. We in Jinghai have always persuaded people with reason and virtue.

[Floor 9 (ID: There's Only One Truth)]: Stop pretending. Everyone knows Jinghai has been the champion in martial arts for ten years, and in literary competitions... well, participation is key. Speaking of which, will we still not see Jinghai's name on this year's literary competition rankings?

[Floor 10 (ID: History Class Representative)]: Fun fact: In the martial arts competition two years ago, a certain powerful figure from the Beijing Maritime Bureau defeated seven opponents in a single fight. He got so carried away that he flung out hundreds of Five Thunder Talismans, almost knocking the referee off. It's said that Deputy Director Liu personally went up and dragged him down by the back of the neck.

[Floor 11 (ID: Referee Protection Association)]: The past is too painful to recall... Now referees have to practice the Golden Bell Cover technique for three days before they can take up their posts.

……

Ji Zuodao slowed down his pace of eating sunflower seeds, staring at the screen, and the more he looked, the more uneasy he felt.

749 Great martial arts performance?

A contest among the younger generation? A battle of wits and strength?

How come he's never heard of this in the bureau before?

I haven't seen the bureau organize any selection or special training.

Uncle Zhang didn't mention it once!

He quickly searched for past information on the forum and opened the official rankings from previous years.

Click to open the Martial Arts Ranking—

Good heavens, it's glittering with gold and exudes an aura of dominance.

At the top of the list, the name of the Jinghai 749 Bureau remained unchanged, as if welded to the spot, for a full ten years.

The long list of achievements that followed conveyed a simple and unpretentious message: "This isn't directed at anyone in particular, but everyone here is trash."

"That's great, Uncle Zhang." Ji Zuodao was delighted, feeling honored.

Then he casually clicked on the literary ranking list next to him.

Scroll down through this year's forecast list.

There is no Jinghai.

No.

no……

After flipping through more than a dozen pages, Ji Zuodao's eyes were sore, but he still couldn't find the words "Jinghai" on any of the lists that displayed rankings.

"That's strange..."

Ji Zuodao muttered, "Even if I don't get a good ranking, surely I shouldn't go over a decade without making the list?"

He casually clicked on the "Detailed Explanation of the Rules of the Literary Battle Ranking" post in the forum.

Scroll to the very bottom, and you'll find a line of supplementary information in the smallest font size and lightest gray, which is extremely easy to miss:

Note: This list only includes the top ten to protect the enthusiasm of participating organizations.

Ji Zuo said: "..."

He stared at the small print and remained silent for a full three seconds.

Then, slowly, he raised a thumb.

"Awesome."

"So it turns out they weren't off the list after all..."

"They don't even qualify for inclusion in the list!"

"This skill tree is completely off-track! Fierce in physical combat, but utterly inept in intellectual battles!"

He finally understood why there hadn't been any activity from the bureau.

With this level of literary skill, a selection process? What kind of selection? A selection of who can add "Amitabha" after "Hallelujah"?

Needless to say, martial arts combat was probably something Uncle Zhang considered a "child's play" style of ring fighting that wasn't worth preparing for at all.

Anyway, they just went up there and got to work, and once they were all knocked down, that was it. The process was simple and brutal, which was very much in line with the consistent style of Jinghai 749.

Ji Zuodao closed the forum page, threw the last few sunflower seeds into his mouth, and patted the crumbs off his hands.

Fine.

This is very Jinghai.

This is so typical of Uncle Zhang.

He stood up, stretched, and glanced at the clock on the wall.

Yes, it's time to pick up Qiqi from school.

As for that grand martial arts demonstration...

Ji Zuodao considered Zhang Shu's likely attitude towards the matter; most likely, he would be smoking a cigarette, squinting, and casually remarking:

"Oh, that? Whoever's free can come and have some fun then."

Ji Zuodao's guess was absolutely correct.

While other branches were fighting tooth and nail for a spot in the "749 Grand Martial Arts Competition," the selection process was so intense it resembled a grand competition among immortal cultivation sects.

With both martial arts tournaments and written exams, it seemed they wanted to bring out all the eighteen martial arts techniques and seventy-two unique skills to test everything...

The Jinghai 749 Bureau didn't even post a proper notice, let alone conduct a selection process.

On the training field, the veterans can slack off or brag as they please; the newcomers can train or get beaten up as they please.

Everything was as usual, as if the upcoming systemic event, which concerned the reputation of each branch and even the allocation of resources, had nothing to do with the Jinghai Bureau.

Until Li, the deputy director of the General Administration in charge of personnel, called Zhang Yucheng directly on his landline, his tone full of disappointment and frustration:

"Zhang Yucheng! Director Zhang! The other branches have almost submitted their participant lists! Where is your Jinghai list?! Where's the fax?! Where's the email?! Couldn't you at least send a pigeon to fetch it?!"

On the other end of the phone, Zhang Yucheng's eyes revealed a clear sense of bewilderment:

"Huh? What list?"

There was a three-second silence on Deputy Director Li's end.

A clear, deep breathing sound came through the receiver, as if someone was trying to suppress some kind of emotion that was about to explode.

"List of Participants in the Grand Martial Arts Competition!"

Zhang Yucheng blinked, trying to rummage through the corners of his memory.

It seems... there is such a thing?

I think I glanced at it at the time and thought it was just another vanity project done by those idle people in the General Administration, a complete waste of time, so I just casually stuffed it under some file basket.

"Oh—!" Zhang Yucheng drawled, feigning sudden realization, "I remember now! There was such a thing!"

"Then you should submit the list of candidates!" Deputy Director Li was almost at his wit's end.

"What's the rush, young man? Give him more opportunities, ensure fair competition, and... Hey, Lao Li, don't yell, I'll get it done right away, right away!"

After dealing with the rant from the General Administration leader, Zhang Yucheng hung up the phone and scratched his head.

Selection?

Why make it so complicated?

He casually grabbed a piece of sticky note from the table and tore it into several pieces of roughly the same size.

On three of the pieces, I dipped the pen cap in red ink (I don't know if it was dry or not) and made a small red dot on each.

The rest were all blank.

Then I rolled it up into a bunch of small balls, dropped them into the enamel mug I usually use to soak goji berries, and shook it.

"Xiao Chen!"

He shouted towards the door, "Go, call everyone in the bureau who meets the age requirement and is free to come to the small conference room. Hurry up, the headquarters is pressing us for an answer."

Ten minutes later.

About twenty people were sparsely present in the small conference room of the Jinghai 749 Bureau.

Most of them looked completely bewildered, not knowing why the bureau chief had suddenly summoned them for this purpose.

Some were still holding unfinished buns in one hand, and some hadn't even changed out of their training clothes, reeking of sweat.

Ji Zuodao also strolled in, a cigarette dangling from his lips.

Zhang Yucheng didn't waste any words, pointing to the enamel mug on the table with its peculiar design and a pile of crumpled paper inside:

"The General Administration organized a large-scale training exercise, wanting young people to show their skills. Our bureau is sending three people."

"The selection process will be simple—by drawing lots."

"If you catch one with a red dot, go ahead. If you catch one with a white dot, go do whatever you were doing."

"Fair, open, and impartial—it all comes down to luck. Any questions?"