A heretical cultivator in Bureau 749, I'm the fiercest at pulling out tendons and skinning peop

You can't have your cake and eat it too.

Are you kidding me!

I have a big appetite and good teeth, and I just love to eat everything in one pot. It tastes best when it's stewed together!

Ji Zuodao slumped into the shabby office chair, crossed his legs, and took out his phone.

He hovered his fingertip over the words "Empress" in the contacts list for half a second, grinned, and pressed it.

"Beep—beep—"

The phone is on.

What came over there first wasn't human voices, but rather the sounds of "crashing" and "splashing," interspersed with occasional "bang!" and "crack!"—it was quite a lively scene.

Ji Zuodao's lips twitched.

Well, no need to ask, the Empress is probably dominating the mahjong table again right now.

Every time I went to see the Empress, eight out of ten times it was at the mahjong table, and the other two times it was on my way to the mahjong table.

"Feed? Little Princess?"

Finally, on the other end of the phone, came the Empress's slow, gentle voice, tinged with the soft, melodious tones of the Wu dialect.

The background noise was also mixed with the crisp sound of shuffling cards.

"Who would have thought to call Auntie today? We're out of money!"

"Oh my! My dear aunt! May you have good fortune and happiness forever! Aunt, your luck today is incredible, you must have gotten another perfect hand with leverage, right?"

Ji Zuodao could spout these auspicious words effortlessly, as if they came naturally from his acquaintance.

It wasn't that he was particularly obsequious; it was just that he was so used to talking to the Empress that if he didn't first say a few nice things, he wouldn't know how to continue the conversation.

It's like when you meet someone, you have to kowtow and say "Greetings, Your Majesty" first; it's muscle memory.

"Alright, alright, stop with the act."

The lady laughed and scolded on the other end of the phone, her voice tinged with a lazy ease, "Speak your mind, Auntie's luck is pretty good today, don't delay my winning."

"Alright! Auntie, I have some good news to share!"

"Xiao Ji got promoted today! Head of the Demon Management Section! A proper section-level cadre!"

"Ouch!"

The Empress's voice carried a clear hint of laughter, and even the sound of shuffling the cards paused for a moment.

"Little Ji has become quite successful! Very good, very good! Oh... Auntie will send you two small yellow croakers later, as a token of our appreciation, so you can buy some good food for yourself."

"Hehe, it's still my aunt who dotes on me!"

Ji Zuodao grinned from ear to ear, but then quickly changed the subject, "Well, Auntie, the celebratory money is one thing, but I have another good thing to tell you."

"Oh? What good news?"

"Here, I'm a new broom sweeping clean; I have enough money for eighty investigators, and there are no openings!"

"I've been thinking, 'Why let the good stuff go to outsiders?' Auntie, are there any little foxes on your mountain who're itching to come down and see the world, have some fun? Come work for me, guaranteed a permanent position, full benefits, and a legitimate company!"

There was a two-second silence on the other end of the phone.

There was only the background sound of shuffling cards.

Then, the Empress's voice rang out again, its tone noticeably brighter than before:

"Yes! Of course!"

The Empress's voice conveyed satisfaction and a sense of pride that her "own child is really getting it."

"Oh my, it's really worth spoiling you! You're so sensible! Auntie, don't be shy with you, fifty positions available, Auntie, wanna compete?"

She paused, as if thinking for a moment, and added:

"I won't let you suffer a loss, I'll just add more dowry! I won't let you make a bad deal, little Ji."

Upon hearing this, Ji Zuodao was overjoyed, but he had to keep a straight face:

"Look what you're saying! We're like family, mother and daughter! Fifty it is! Auntie, if you've asked, then it's definitely possible! I'll save some for you right away!"

"My dear girl!" The Empress said with satisfaction. "Once I win this hand, I'll go tell those little monkeys. I'm hanging up now, okay?"

"Okay! Auntie, have fun and win lots of points!"

The phone hangs up.

Ji Zuodao threw his phone on the table, leaned back, and the chair creaked loudly.

He squinted, his mouth stretched to his ears, and his smile was so cunning, he looked just like a weasel that had just stolen eighteen hens.

"I made a fortune... I made a killing!"

He was making his own calculations.

Let's not even discuss the quality of the "small yellow croaker" and "dowry" that the Empress promised—

Even a little bit leaking from between his aunt's fingers would be enough for him to live a life of luxury for a while.

The key point is that the little foxes that the Empress keeps are all incredibly powerful!

He's tough, resilient, and cunning; most importantly—he's obedient! I've watched him grow up since he was a child, we know each other very well!

With his handsome face and sweet words, Ji Zuodao managed to fool these little foxes...

No, it's about bringing them under your own command. Wouldn't that make them the most useful swords, the most obedient soldiers, and the most capable and pleasing-to-the-eyes assistants?

This deal is definitely feasible!

Meanwhile, a thousand miles away, on the mountainside of Lion Camel Ridge in the Ailao Mountains.

In the elegant and tranquil courtyard, the sound of mahjong tiles had stopped sometime ago.

The empress leaned against the cushioned chaise lounge, her phoenix eyes flashing with a half-smile as she glanced at the little foxes that had silently gathered and were now squatting on the ground in the courtyard.

Their fur comes in various colors: white as snow, red as fire, black as satin, and mixed colors. Each one is glossy and of excellent quality.

At this moment, dozens of pairs of bright, watery fox eyes were staring intently at the Empress, her ears perked up, and the tips of her tails trembled slightly with excitement.

They listened intently to everything that happened on the phone!

Fifty spots available!

Bureau 749! Demon Management Section! Investigator Position!

Most importantly—once you get a spot, you can go down the mountain openly and go find that little rascal to get closer to!

The thought of that little rascal who used to cause trouble on the mountain, steal fruit, and pull tails, and who is now an official, made many of the foxes breathe more rapidly, and their paws unconsciously scratched at the ground.

The Empress took in the reactions of the younger generation, a lazy yet playful smile curving her lips. She spoke slowly, her voice sweet and seductive:

"Did you all hear that?"

Her slender, pale fingers gently tapped:

"Fifty spots have been secured for you by Her Majesty. As for which fifty will go..."

The empress drew out her words, her smile deepening as she looked at the foxes below who had instantly tensed up:

"Why don't you guys discuss it yourselves and decide to have a competition?"

The words had barely left his mouth—

"Whoosh!"

The previously harmonious atmosphere in the courtyard instantly plummeted to freezing point!

Almost simultaneously, all the little foxes' gazes shifted from the queen and began to dart around, scanning their companions with scrutiny, vigilance, and provocation.

An invisible smell of gunpowder permeated the air.

A beautiful little fox, fiery red all over, was the first to bristle, arching its back and emitting a threatening growl from its throat. It spoke in a sweet, yet menacing voice:

"Come and fight! The winner gets priority! This little rascal is meant to be mine!"

A silver fox beside it sneered, baring its gleaming fangs in a defiant manner:

"You sly fox! Last time you dared to use illusion magic to steal the berries that little rascal left for me, let's settle that score today!"

"Hmph! You were the one who took my sunbathing spot first!"

"That little rascal clearly loves touching my tail the most!"

"My fur is softer!"

"My eyes are even brighter!"

"I……"

"Fight if you want! Who's afraid of who!"

"Sisters, shoulder to shoulder! Let's clear the area first!"

"..."

Mediation? Not a chance.

Discuss? Is that what you call negotiation? That's called pre-battle briefing!

In the blink of an eye, the foxes that had been sitting quietly just moments before were completely thrown into chaos!

Dozens of furry balls scurried around in a flurry of screams, flashing white, red, and black light, with fox fur flying everywhere, and a cacophony of screams, roars, and cries of pain filling the air.

You bite my tail, I kick your face; you use a spell on me, I'll swat you with my claws...

The scene was truly lively and bustling, with foxes leaping and bounding about.

The Empress leaned against the couch, resting her chin on her hand, watching with great interest. She even picked up a pastry from a small table next to her and ate it in small bites.

Looking at the fox cubs below, fighting fiercely over some little rascal, the Empress smiled and said leisurely in a voice only she could hear:

"It is only natural to weed out the weak and let the strong survive."

"Our little rascal always needs the most powerful and cleverest fox by his side, right?"

"You little rascal..."

Her gaze was distant, as if she could see Ji Zuodao, who was looking stunningly beautiful, on the other end of the phone, through the group of playful younger people.

Fifty fox spirit subordinates...

Little Ji, Little Ji, your Demon Management Department is going to be quite lively from now on, full of fox friends, and foxes will be using your power to intimidate others.

I just don't know if your small frame can handle this "fox" luck.

The empress pursed her lips and smiled like a fox that had stolen a chicken.