A heretical cultivator in Bureau 749, I'm the fiercest at pulling out tendons and skinning peop

"I can't take it anymore! This little brat has been crying for five hours! I really can't stand it! If I really can't, I'll have his vocal cords removed!"

Shen Qianjie's eyes were bloodshot, and his expression was like that of a prisoner who had been tortured for three days and three nights, on the verge of collapse.

Zhou Langchen was woken up from his sleep by him. He put on an overcoat, opened the door, and stared at him with dead fish eyes and a blank expression.

"Is this what you mean by 'hands-off'?"

Shen Qianjie opened his mouth, wanting to say something in his defense, but in the end, he could only let out a helpless sigh.

Chu Hengdao also came out of the house. He didn't say anything sarcastic, but just curled the corner of his mouth and looked at Shen Qianjie with a "useless thing" look.

"You can't even handle one kid? Let me do it."

He stepped forward, a murderous aura surging towards Xiao Ji Zuodao.

That murderous aura was cold, sharp, and carried a bloody smell, enough to make any adult faint from fright.

Xiao Ji Zuodao's crying stopped.

Chu Hengdao grinned, just about to boast a few words—

The crying started again.

Moreover, this time there was more than just crying.

A stream of water shot into Chu Hengdao's open mouth.

The water was warm and had a faint smell of urine.

Chu Hengdao was completely stunned.

He kept his mouth open, feeling a liquid slide down his throat and into his stomach.

His brain completely shut down at that moment.

"Holy crap! Holy crap! This little brat peed! And it's still spraying! It's spraying way out! Oh my god! He even pooped!"

Chu Hengdao's face turned green.

"Damn it! Shen Qianjie! Take him away! Don't you fucking come any closer! Can't you see this kid firing a cannon?!"

He retreated while waving his hands, trying to block the relentless "firepower".

The scene immediately descended into chaos.

Several evil cultivators who had fought their way in and out of battle were now being driven to distraction and left in a sorry state by a human child.

In the end, it was Dogman who came up with the idea.

He squatted by the doorway, watching the flustered old men, and slowly spoke: "I say... have you ever considered that he might be hungry?"

The sound, though not loud, was like a thunderclap, exploding in everyone's ears.

Shen Qianjie paused for a moment, then slapped his forehead: "That's right! How come I didn't think of that!"

He carried the baby and rushed into the kitchen, rummaging through drawers and cabinets, only to find a little bit of rice cereal that had already gone cold.

He tested the temperature, then looked at the little Ji Zuodao who was crying loudly, hesitated for a moment, and finally gave up.

"No, this stuff is too cold. He'll definitely get diarrhea if he eats it."

Finally, he went down the mountain and found a mother tiger that had just given birth to cubs.

The tigress had just given birth to several cubs and was producing plenty of milk.

Shen Qianjie didn't care about anything else and went over with the baby in her arms.

Little Ji Zuodao was probably really hungry. As soon as she smelled the milk, she stopped crying, opened her little mouth, and began to suckle desperately.

"Glug, glug, glug."

The sound was exceptionally clear in the quiet night.

Shen Qianjie breathed a sigh of relief as she watched him wolf down his food.

"Alright, everything should be fine now."

He carried the well-fed and now soundly asleep Ji Zuodao back to the lab, ready to continue his research.

The others also went back to their respective places, some to sleep, others to cultivate.

Lion Camel Ridge has finally returned to tranquility.

But this tranquility did not last long.

A few minutes later, there was another knock on the door.

The knocking was urgent and forceful, carrying a sense of despair, like "I'm here again."

Zhou Langchen opened his eyes and sighed.

He opened the door and saw Shen Qianjie standing there, holding Xiao Ji Zuodao in his arms, with a look of utter despair on his face.

"Damn it, why is this little brat crying again? It looks like he's pooped again, what should I do?"

His voice carried a sense of despair.

Zhou Langchen looked at him and remained silent for a few seconds.

Then he spoke up: "Old Shen, are you sure the one you picked up isn't a debt collector?"

"..."

Over the next few months, Lion Camel Ridge was in complete chaos, with chickens flying, dogs barking, and people and horses collapsing.

That unlucky kid, Xiao Ji Zuodao, gets a minor illness every three days and a major illness every five days; his howling is practically non-stop.

That crying sound was no longer crying; it was background music, the standard accompaniment of Lion Camel Ridge.

Sometimes, in the middle of the night, when everyone is sound asleep, a heart-wrenching cry suddenly breaks out, and everyone has to spring out of bed like springs and rush to check what's wrong with the little darling.

I have a fever.

I have diarrhea.

She spit up milk.

He had a seizure.

He's stopped breathing.

Various situations arise one after another, with a wide variety of tricks, more exciting than magic tricks.

The problem is, this little thing is always on the verge of dying.

Moreover, the reasons for dying are often inexplicable.

Sometimes, just a couple of extra sips of milk, and then their face starts to turn blue, their breathing becomes weak, and they look like they're about to die.

The old folks had to frantically search for medicinal herbs, some brewed soup, some performed acupuncture, and some practiced internal energy cultivation. They worked for most of the night and finally managed to snatch the person back from the clutches of death.

After getting it back, before we could even catch our breath, a new round of trouble began.

This cycle repeats itself endlessly, over and over again.

Even more deadly is that the "doom and calamity attraction" inherent in the sick child's destiny has also begun to exert its power.

Various calamities, as if drawn by a scent, converged on Lion Camel Ridge from all directions.

There was a landslide today, and thunderstorms are expected tomorrow.

The day after tomorrow, things got even more outrageous. A small meteorite fell down and smashed Dog's den.

Dog Grandpa squatted in front of the pile of ruins, watching his home, where he had lived for several years, turn into a pile of wooden planks. He remained silent for a while, then turned his head and looked at the baby crying loudly in the swaddling clothes with a resentful gaze.

It opened its mouth as if to curse, but in the end, it just sighed, lowered its head, and began to pry at the planks with its claws, trying to rebuild its home.

That silhouette was filled with indescribable desolation and bitterness.

You should know that these three men and one dog could fight for days and nights on the battlefield without getting tired.

He was a truly ruthless character who had crawled out of mountains of corpses and seas of blood; what storms hadn't he seen?

The results of it?

Taking care of a child almost cost them their lives.

They had never seen such a difficult person to please.

You might say he's sick, but he really is sick, so sick he's on the verge of death, so sick he could kick the bucket at any moment.

But you might say he's weak, yet he just can't seem to die.

Every time he was on the verge of death, and the old folks were preparing for his funeral, he would miraculously recover.

Then they continued to cry, continued to make a fuss, and continued to cause trouble.

It's like they're deliberately going against them.

Zhou Langchen suffered the most.

Why?

Of the three people and the dog, he was the most relaxed.

Chu Hengdao sharpened his sword day and night, without fail, not even if the sky were to fall.

He said, "The knife is my life, and my life is the knife. As long as the knife is there, I am there; if the knife is gone, I am gone."

So taking care of the child has nothing to do with him.

Needless to say, Shen Qianjie is a researcher who spends all his time in the lab studying those bottles and jars, and those obscure and difficult classics.

He said that he was tackling a difficult problem in cultivation and contributing to the cause of Qi cultivators.

How can taking care of children, such a physically demanding job, interfere with his scientific research?

What about Dog Master? Dog Master said he's just a dog, at most he'll squat next to Xiao Ji Zuo Dao when she cries and howl a couple of times, as a form of moral support.

They're just passing the buck.

Ultimately, the glorious yet arduous task of taking care of the child mostly fell to Zhou Langchen.

The reason I say "most of the time" is because Shen Qianjie doesn't need to bring Xiao Ji Zuodao when he needs to use it for his experiments.

Was Zhou Langchen wronged?

He's innocent!

He has to take care of the child during the day, soothe the child at night, and get up in the middle of the night to feed the child, change diapers, take the child to the doctor, and brew medicine.

He didn't even have time to go down the mountain to find a young lady for a full-service package!

He is the most dashing and handsome young man in Lion Camel Ridge!

How can you be tied up by a baby?

He protested to Shen Qianjie multiple times, demanding a replacement, but Shen Qianjie rejected his protests each time.

Zhou Langchen was in despair.

Every day, he would carry Xiao Ji Zuodao in his arms and pace back and forth in the courtyard, muttering to himself, "Little troublemaker, little troublemaker, when are you going to die so I can go down the mountain to find my little sister..."

Xiao Ji Zuo Dao, of course, couldn't understand what he was saying. She just stared at him with her big, dark eyes, and then burst into tears again.

Zhou Langchen: "..."