A heretical cultivator in Bureau 749, I'm the fiercest at pulling out tendons and skinning peop

"Wait! My lord—bah! Investigator Ji! My lord! I'm reporting this! I want to atone for my crimes! I'm exposing this wrongdoing! I'm trying to get leniency!"

Li Shuwen was dragged on the ground, watching as Ji Zuodao emptied his little treasure trove bit by bit. He knew that if he didn't produce something real, he might really have to go to work as a sewing machine today, so he quickly started howling at the top of his lungs.

"Trying to pull another trick?"

Ji Zuodao glanced at him sideways, his hands continuing to search him, and pulled out two crumpled hundred-yuan bills from the pocket of his belt.

"My master once said that you scholars and cultivators may appear respectable on the surface, spouting righteousness and morality, but in reality, you are full of wickedness, and your schemes are more convoluted than a winding corridor."

"And you..."

"Damn it, you couldn't even be bothered to put on that superficial human skin! What kind of decent person would paint something with surround sound and a mini-movie? Huh?"

"Now, when I close my eyes, all I see in my head is Seventh Master chuckling 'heh heh' while holding the chains, Eighth Master chuckling 'heh heh' while swinging his mourning stick, and that scholar... tsk!"

As Ji Zuodao finished speaking, he couldn't help but bow towards the void again, muttering incantations:

"Don't blame me, don't blame me, Seventh Master and Eighth Master. It was all done by this scoundrel. It has nothing to do with me. I'll burn him later to avenge you two..."

"Don't burn it! Please don't burn it!"

Li Shuwen was terrified.

"Lord Ji! Ji Qingtian! Listen to me! I truly have crucial intelligence! It's enough to atone for my crimes!"

"Oh?" Ji Zuodao stopped for the moment, squatted down in front of him, and gave him a look that said, "Let's see what other farts you can come up with."

"Tomb raiders! I know a group of tomb raiders! They raided a tomb in the western suburbs."

Li Shuwen spoke very quickly, as if afraid that if he spoke slowly, he would lose his value.

"If you arrest me, I'm just an insignificant little karami, at most it's considered a crackdown on pornography and illegal publications."

"But if you take down that whole gang of tomb raiders, that would mean dismantling a criminal organization, protecting national cultural relics, and cracking down on organized crime! The nature and significance of that... don't you think?"

"Pooh!"

Ji Zuodao spat disdainfully and casually stuffed the few banknotes he had just found into his pocket.

"Can the merit of catching a group of ordinary tomb raiders compare to catching a daring, blasphemous, and obscene Taoist cultivator?"

He picked up the picture book from the ground, flipped it to the page about "Mazu," waved it in front of Li Shuwen, and revealed a devilish smile:

"Believe it or not, I'll take a picture of this page right now, do some minor editing, add some mosaic, and then contact a few brother units near the sea, as well as those folk religious associations..."

"Take this guy, the 'Jade-Faced Scholar,' a moral scoundrel who not only paints, but also makes moving images and sells them everywhere..."

"If I 'accidentally' leak the news that you're going to be detained, I'll do a live stream with the title 'The Literary Scoundrel Who Blasphemed the Goddess of the Sea is Serving His Judgment Today,' and set up the live stream right outside Bureau 749. I'll personally whip you with a belt..."

As Ji Zuodao spoke, his eyes grew brighter, as if he could already see the exciting live broadcast scene.

"Tell me, how many rockets, yachts, and carnivals will those devout believers and our brothers along the coast send me? Will I be overwhelmed with gifts? Will the propaganda department of Bureau 749 exceed its KPIs? Hmm?"

"No! No! Grandpa Ji! You're my own grandfather!"

Li Shuwen's face turned green with fright; his soul almost floated out of his head.

It's as if I can already see myself walking at night, being stuffed into a sack, and sinking into the dark, cold seabed to be fed to fish and shrimp—a truly tragic scene.

"And...and more! Zombies! Yes! Zombies!"

"I overheard it with my own ears while browsing used books at the flea market this morning. They said they wrecked a person in a grave before escaping! They said there were zongzi (sticky rice dumplings)! Big zongzi! The kind that can move!"

"Oh?"

"Zongzi?"

Ji Zuodao stopped tapping the screen, his eyebrows slightly raised.

Talking about this will keep him awake.

Like most mischievous and annoying kids in the world, Ji Zuodao also went through a period of longing for a pet when he was a child.

Other children want to keep cats, dogs, and rabbits.

Ji Zuodao?

He wants to raise zombies.

Ideally, it should be like the kind of character from Uncle Nine's movies, wearing the official robes of the previous dynasty, with long fingernails, hopping around, invulnerable to swords and spears, and able to obey orders.

He thought this thing was way cooler than cats and dogs, and if he took it out for a walk, it would definitely be the most stylish thing on the whole hill.

Then, his three mentors, just like most parents in the world who hope their children will become successful, ruthlessly shattered his dreams.

The master chef's reasoning was simple and blunt: "Raise another mouth my ass! You eat by stealing from my herb garden, and you want to feed another one? Go practice your kung fu!"

Second Master: "The zombie has heavy yin energy and strong evil aura. You're too young, your yang energy isn't stable enough, you can't handle it. Be good, and I'll catch you a docile cougar to play with?"

The third master craftsman concluded: "He just deserved a beating!"

Thus, Ji Zuodao's "zombie pet dream" was shattered before it even began.

but now……

He's nineteen.

The spiritual sea is at the eighth level.

He is now a formally employed investigator at Bureau 749.

With Deputy Director Liu as his backer, he's got some support now.

Now I have Doge as my partner.

He also learned a whole set of legitimate evil techniques.

He felt that... he should be able to control things now.

"Um……"

Ji Zuodao stroked his chin and looked again at Li Shuwen, who was staring at him expectantly from the ground.

"Tell me, where are those tomb raiders? What's their location...?"

He paused, and a slow smile crept onto his lips.

"If the news is true, and I really catch that zongzi..."

"I might consider it... and give you an opportunity to 'assist in solving the case and provide crucial clues'."

"Of course, you can be spared the death penalty, but as for punishment... well, that depends on your subsequent behavior."

"Yes, yes, yes! I'll tell you! I'll tell you everything!"

Seeing that Ji Zuodao was interested, Li Shuwen's survival instinct kicked in instantly, and he spilled everything he had heard.

"That tomb is in the western suburbs, in the southern part! You surely know it, sir, it's right next to the Wang family mansion that was raided by your 749 team... um, and cleared out according to law!"

"It's quite a coincidence, wasn't there a huge earthquake and a giant mushroom cloud a few nights ago? Your bureau's really earth-shattering commotion..."

Li Shuwen gestured with exaggerated expressions.

"Good heavens! That tremor not only leveled the Wang family's old house, but it also loosened the surrounding hillside! There's a tomb to the south that was originally hidden quite well, but a corner of it collapsed, revealing a dark opening!"

"Those tomb raiders were just peasants, ordinary people, with no real skills. They were just lucky. The day after they blew it up, they went there to try and pick up some 'foreign treasures' from the Wang family ruins, but they didn't find any. Instead, they discovered the tomb entrance."

"Isn't that greed? Thinking they'd struck gold, they sneaked in that very night."

"And guess what? The inside collapsed even more! Probably from the shockwave of the explosion, the tomb chamber is almost a complete ruin. Most of the bottles, jars, and burial jade artifacts are shattered into dust!"

"That wasn't all. Just as they were cursing and swearing, thinking their trip had been a waste... the rice dumpling appeared!"

"They pounce on anyone they see! The bald guy who's the leader said one of his brothers couldn't dodge in time and was instantly... gutted out by that thing, his intestines spilling out all over the ground! It was horrible!"

"The rest of the people were so scared they practically flew out of their skin and scrambled away to escape."

"These idiots, after escaping, dared not make a sound, and were feeling frustrated. The key is that they went to several places and found that those odd burial items could not be sold for money in the antique market, so they had no choice but to come to this flea market this morning to try their luck."

"I was standing at the used bookstore next door, and I heard them complaining all the while!"