I met my whole family through Baidu Tieba.

After being pulled into a private room in the coffee shop by Guo Pinyan, Shen Kang habitually walked towards the table, but heard a noise behind him.

Turning my head, I saw Guo Pinyan bending over and locking the door from the inside.

"Why did you lock it from the inside?" Shen Kang asked, puzzled. "How are they going to bring in food and drinks later?"

Guo Pinyan had already locked the door and walked over, chuckling, "That's why I just pulled you in without letting you order anything."

"...Old Guo, aren't you being a little too stingy?" Shen Kang couldn't help but ask.

Guo Pinyan didn't care. She waved her hand and sat down at the table. "You're not short of food and drink. If you're really hungry, I can treat you to something later."

Shen Kang wasn't really bothered by taking advantage of Lao Guo, so he didn't bring it up. He was more interested in Lao Guo's suspicious behavior. "What's wrong with you today? By the way, where's Wu Jiahao? Did he go back?"

He then sat down.

"No, I'm still at school."

Guo Pinyan casually remarked, sounding like she was itching to speak, but then suddenly remembered something and brought it up first, "By the way, Lao Shen, what kind of spell did you cast on him the other day? He used to always be talking about Ma Yun and stuff, I could practically recite 'Ma Yun's quotes' by heart. But now, wow, I can even hear your name in between Ma Yun's quotes. It's really weird, you know?"

Guo Pinyan paused here, thinking carefully about how to describe this feeling.

Then he started gesturing wildly.

"It's like, your wife is with you every day..."

Shen Kang interrupted him in time, "I don't have a wife."

Guo Pinyan retorted, "You'll have it later."

Shen Kang: "I won't have one in the future. I'm not getting married."

Normally, Guo Pinyan would have given Old Shen a good talking-to about He Qiuzhu when he saw Old Shen acting up again. But Guo Pinyan wasn't in the mood for that now, and simply compromised, saying, "Okay, okay, my wife, alright?"

Shen Kang had no objection to this, "That's acceptable."

Guo Pinyan rolled her eyes and continued, "It's like this: my wife talks about Wu Yanzu all the time, how handsome he is, and I just listen and don't really care. But then one day, hey, while she was talking about Wu Yanzu, she also started talking about Old Wang, the blind masseur next door, saying how good his massage skills are, how hard he works in business, and so on. Do you know how that feels?"

Shen Kang almost laughed, but he held it back and nodded seriously, "I don't really understand, but your description is very good. I can roughly guess what kind of feeling it is."

Guo Pinyan spat, "What description? That's called a metaphor, you illiterate. Anyway, that's the feeling, it's pretty strange. So what kind of bewitching potion did you give him?"

Shen Kang organized his thoughts, "We just had a brief discussion about how to start a business."

Guo Pinyan asked suspiciously, "Is it really that simple?"

Shen Kang retorted, "How much more complicated could it be?" He then said, "So this is what you wanted to tell me?"

Upon hearing this, Guo Pinyan disregarded the matter and said, "Of course not. I wanted to tell you about what I've been doing these past few days."

Guo Pinyan became excited, seemingly very proud of what he had done in the past few days, and wanted to find someone to confide in and show off to. Shen Kang was the perfect person to confide in and show off to.

This is mainly because Shen Kang is tight-lipped. Whatever Guo Pinyan tells Shen Kang, Shen Kang has never revealed it, as if Shen Kang has amnesia, forgetting everything as soon as he hears it, which is reassuring. This is also a key reason why Guo Pinyan dared to entrust Wu Jiahao to Shen Kang, who knows his background, for the day when Wu Jiahao arrived.

However, at the beginning of her boasting, Guo Pinyan asked Shen Kang a question.

"Old Shen, do you know what I did the day I asked you to look after Wu Jiahao?"

Shen Kang chimed in, "I don't know."

Guo Pinyan was delighted, and with an expression that said, "I knew you wouldn't guess this," she told him everything: "That day I went to set up the battlefield."

"Actually, I had already thought out the overall battle plan on the way back. In short, it can be summarized in four words: proactive defense."

Shen Kang looked genuinely interested—he was indeed quite fascinated by this kind of gossip, much more so than advanced mathematics—and asked, "How does one implement proactive defense?"

Guo Pinyan felt that Lao Shen was a really good conversation partner.

He then enthusiastically began to tell Shen Kang his story, going on and on.

"Proactive defense, first and foremost, lies in the word 'defense'."

"What's the most awkward thing about this kind of thing? It's when the person investigating happens to bump into the 'person involved,' gets to know her, and then coincidentally learns from her that she's the very person they're investigating! It's incredibly dramatic and embarrassing; it's something that happens all the time in TV dramas!"

"If Liu Jing continues with her usual routine, covering the entire campus, the probability of her bumping into Wu Jiahao is relatively high. But if Liu Jing's routine suddenly becomes very narrow, the probability of her bumping into Wu Jiahao is very low. It's a matter of probability."

"Therefore, if Liu Jing can stay in the dormitory every day and not go anywhere, the possibility of such a dramatic incident happening is zero."

"Of course, it's unrealistic to keep Liu Jing in the dormitory every day, so we can only try to minimize her range of movement. Therefore, I started by addressing the root cause and having Liu Jing go to the library to study for the next few days."

"She spends most of her day in the library, but Wu Jiahao is here to investigate me, so the chances of him going to the library are very low. Even if he did go, I wouldn't be there, and Liu Jing would be the only one there, so he wouldn't know she's my girlfriend. The rest of the time, Liu Jing goes to the cafeteria and back to her dorm. Her time is short, her routes are fixed, and her range of movement has been reduced to the bare minimum under the current circumstances!"

Shen Kang was sitting at the table, having already picked up a bag of sunflower seeds. He was eating the seeds while listening with great interest.

He then added a timely joke: "So how did you get Liu Jing to obediently go to the library to study every day?"

Guo Pinyan is very comfortable—chatting with Lao Shen, although sometimes you might get a little teased, most of the time it's really comfortable, he can speak to your heart.

"It's very simple."

Guo Pinyan said, "I just told her, 'It's finals, aren't you going to start reviewing? There's a spot on the third floor of the library with good heating and not many people, which is convenient for studying.' Every morning before dawn, I get up to save a seat for her so she can get a good night's sleep. When she wakes up, she can go to the library and sit in the seat I saved for her. But I don't stay there myself, because she knows that I'm not an ordinary college student. I have a lot of things to do, and I can't sit in the library every day like other college students to study."

Shen Kang spat out a sunflower seed shell. "So she was very touched and obediently did as she was told? Without a single doubt?"

Guo Pinyan slapped her thigh, "What do you mean 'very moved'? It's incredibly moving! I have no doubt about it!"

It's clear that Guo Pinyan is very pleased.

Shen Kang then said, "Well, Liu Jing is under control, but what about the others? He has a mouth; he can ask others if you have a girlfriend. You haven't deliberately hidden the fact that you have a girlfriend, so there should be quite a few people in our school who know, right?"

Guo Pinyan nodded. "This is my second step."

"I've analyzed it. Wu Jiahao doesn't know anyone at our school. If he wants to ask others if I have a girlfriend, there are only two paths. One, he can ask through someone I introduce him to, like you, Lao Shen. Two, he can go to the school himself, wander around, and randomly ask a passerby."

"Let me start with the first point."

"Who I introduce him to is entirely up to me, so I adhere to the principle of 'no introductions unless absolutely necessary,' and try my best not to introduce anyone to him. Even if I do introduce someone, it's only after I've given him prior notice, or it's someone like you, Lao Shen, who keeps your mouth shut. So, in this respect, he won't make any breakthroughs."

"The second point is a probability problem."

"There are over 20,000 students at Yangon Tech University. He wants to find someone in this vast sea of ​​people who happens to know me and Liu Jing, and who also knows that Liu Jing is my girlfriend. Old Shen, what do you think the odds are?"

Shen Kang thought for a moment and said, "Very small."

Guo Pinyan slapped her thigh again, "What do you mean 'very small'? It's extremely small! It's obvious you didn't study probability theory well, you skip class every day, right?"

Shen Kang spat out another mouthful of sunflower seed shells. "I'm only a freshman, I haven't even learned probability theory yet."

Guo Pinyan nodded. "No wonder you're so bad at probability. Anyway, the probability of this happening is extremely small."

Before Shen Kang could even speak, he abruptly changed the subject, saying, "But even if the probability is quite small, it's not zero, so I still made some preparations..."

Through Guo Pinyan's spittle-flecked description, Shen Kang saw the following scene:

It was dark, with heavy snow falling and only the dim yellow light of the streetlights. Under the lights were two figures, a man and a woman, Guo Pinyan and Liu Jing, with the BM song "Destiny" playing nearby.

Guo Pinyan, wearing a fitted coat and a long scarf, stretched out his hands and grasped Liu Jing's hands, looking at her affectionately as he spoke: "...I've already tested the waters with my family, asking them what they would think if I had a girlfriend?"

Across from her, Liu Jing, dressed in a down jacket, finally managed to conceal her plump figure. Her long hair flowed freely, and she even looked rather thin. Her hands were being held in Guo Pinyan's hands.

Hearing Guo Pinyan's words, Liu Jing's eyes lit up. "What are they thinking?"

Guo Pinyan's eyes dimmed. "They said that college romances are all fake, that they all break up after graduation, and that it's a waste of time and a hindrance to one's career. They told me to just focus on my studies in college and that I could think about dating after graduation."

This caused Liu Jing's eyes to dim as well.

However, Guo Pinyan hadn't finished speaking.

"Besides, no one knows a son better than his father. My dad seemed to have sensed something and asked me if I was dating someone. I quickly denied it, but it probably didn't work. I know my dad well; he's as stubborn as a mule and only believes his own judgment. Once he has a suspicion, he might secretly send someone to our school to investigate whether I'm dating someone."

Liu Jing asked, "What if he finds out? What will he do?"

Guo Pinyan shook her head. "I don't know."

Liu Jing then asked, "Will your family break us up?"

Guo Pinyan looked pained and kept shaking her head, "I don't know, I don't know!..." She was just like the male lead in a Qiong Yao drama.

Seeing him like this, Liu Jing felt sorry for him and finally made a decision, "Why don't you tell all your friends that if any strangers come and ask about our relationship, they should just say they don't know? I'll tell my friends too. We'll talk about it after graduation."

Guo Pinyan gripped her hand even tighter, still shaking his head: "No, no, no!..." He was completely in the form of a male protagonist from a Qiong Yao drama.

Liu Jing comforted him, "Silly boy, this is for our future. Since your family doesn't believe in college romances, let's not tell them yet. Let's work together and prove them wrong with our actions..."

After much persuasion from Liu Jing, Guo Pinyan finally reluctantly agreed, overwhelmed with gratitude. "Jing, you're so kind."

The two embraced tightly amidst the heavy snowfall.

BM also shifted from the more lively "Destiny" to "Unforgivable," with a heart-wrenching vocal performance: For all the pain of clinging to love ~ For all the wounds of clinging to hate ~...

"Cut!"

Shen Kang returned to reality from the scene Guo Pinyan had conjured in his mind and asked a question: "Has it snowed in Yangcheng recently? And a damn heavy snowfall? I haven't seen any."

Guo Pinyan was interrupted by Shen Kang, still somewhat unsatisfied. "Do you understand rhetoric? This is called the sentimental fallacy! It's a concept proposed by a foreigner, which means forcibly projecting one's subjective emotions onto objective scenery, making the scenery appear in accordance with the emotions but contrary to physical reality. Old Shen, I've discovered that being uncultured is truly terrifying. You should read more books."

"Alright, I didn't expect you to be so cultured."

Shen Kang nodded. "So, even if you're incredibly unlucky and happen to have even the slightest chance of it happening, Wu Jiahao still won't be able to get anything out of you?"

Guo Pinyan nodded. "That's exactly the point. And this system is also a closed loop."

"Because Liu Jing felt sorry for me, I felt bad for her, so I would go to the library before dawn every day to save a seat for her."

Guo Pinyan clapped her hands, quite pleased with herself, "Isn't it a closed loop? It's very natural, and my sudden attentiveness doesn't seem abrupt at all."

Shen Kang wasn't impressed either, "That's quite natural."

He discovered that when Lao Guo encountered such a situation, his IQ was practically comparable to Einstein's.

If such a person puts their mind to starting a business, how could they not succeed?

However, there is no perfect plan in this world.

After Guo Pin finished speaking, he added frankly, "At most, we can only arrange things for our friends. It's impossible to arrange things for everyone who knows. There will always be a few people who know about my relationship with Liu Jing, but we haven't arranged anything for them. If Wu Jiahao happens to run into them at school and asks them, he might find out from them that I have a girlfriend at Yang University of Science and Technology."

Shen Kang looked at Guo Pinyan and easily saw the eager look on his face that seemed to say, "Ask me, ask me!" So he played along and asked, "So what would you do if you encountered such a low-probability event?"

Guo Pinyan nodded in satisfaction and said, "This problem can actually be broken down and analyzed."

"If such a low-probability event really happened, Wu Xiaodi would know that 'Guo Pinyan has a girlfriend named Liu Jing at Yang University of Science and Technology,' and she would definitely come to me for an explanation. That's one thing."

"The other thing is, who is Liu Jing? That's the second thing."

"When the time comes, I can find a 'fake Liu Jing' to act out a scene with me and get rid of her. Anyway, she only knows that the other person is Liu Jing, but she doesn't know who Liu Jing is."

Upon hearing this, Shen Kang couldn't help but clap his hands in praise: "Brilliant! From narrowing Liu Jing's defensive perimeter to actively getting Liu Jing to propose 'keeping quiet,' and even the most extreme scenario involving a 'fake Liu Jing,' it's truly brilliant!"

Seeing Shen Kang's reaction, Guo Pinyan became even more emboldened and continued, "The above only covers the defensive aspect. Active defense, active defense—how can we forget the 'active' aspect?"

"The first proactive thing I did was to take Wu Jiahao around the school every day. After all, he had just arrived at our school and was unfamiliar with the place. I couldn't just leave him to fend for himself on campus, could I? By taking him around, I could take the initiative to control his movements and prevent any unfavorable factors. That was the first part of taking the initiative."

"However, even with me leading him around, he didn't get any useful information. So on the third day, he made an excuse, saying that I was quite busy every day and it wasn't right for me to spend all my time with him. Anyway, he'd gotten to know our school better in the last couple of days, so he told me to go about my own business and not to spend time with him anymore."

When Guo Pinyan said this, she had a "just as I expected" look on her face, like Zhuge Liang.

"I agreed immediately. Then, here comes the second part about my 'proactive' stance."

"He's my future brother-in-law, and he's come to our school. I can't let him pay for everything, right? So I made arrangements with people in advance at the supermarket, the school cafeteria, and other places, and prepaid for his expenses. I even took him there to meet them so he wouldn't have to pay for anything there in the future. Of course, he doesn't know that I prepaid for his expenses. He thinks that I've always spent money this way, and this time I just opened an 'account' for him."

"In this way, I only need to go to these locations every night and ask around to find out Wu Jiahao's movements for the day. Based on this movement data, I can also analyze whether my specific strategy needs to be subtly and proactively adjusted for tomorrow."

Speaking of this, Guo Pinyan remembered something.

"Old Shen, I've discovered something from my human surveillance system: a lot of his movements are concentrated around your businesses. The laundry room, study room 302, oh right, and the back gate of the school. Didn't you recently set up a warehouse for your Huanhuan.com on the back street? He goes there frequently too."

"I suspect that after realizing he couldn't get any useful information from me, he wanted to target my best friend, you."

After saying all this, Guo Pinyan chuckled, "But that's because he doesn't understand you. He doesn't know that you, Lao Shen, are notoriously tight-lipped. If he could get through to you and hear any news about Liu Jing, I'd call him 'Dad'! What a waste of time, what a waste of time..."

Guo Pinyan shook her head repeatedly.

Shen Kang thought to himself, "Old Shen's 'human surveillance system' has detected that Wu Jiahao is always running towards his business."

Considering what Guo Pinyan had said before, and how Wu Jiahao had recently mentioned Ma Yun while also including her name, Shen Kang had reason to suspect that Wu Jiahao might not actually be trying to find a breakthrough with Guo Pinyan through him. He might simply want to see how his stores actually operate.

After commenting on Wu Jiahao's attempt to break through his "active defense" as "wishful thinking," Guo Pinyan finally gave her concluding remarks.

"That concludes the entirety of the components of 'active defense'."

Shen Kang couldn't help but clap his hands again, praising repeatedly, "Old Guo, I think it's a waste of your talent to study at Yang University of Science and Technology and run a coffee shop. You're more suited to the intelligence agency; they need you there."

Guo Pinyan waved his hand modestly, "I'm not being modest at all. How did a college student like me end up in the intelligence agency? We should find someone more capable."

He was modest in words, but his expression was quite smug.

Finally, he mentioned something that pleased him the most.

"Yesterday at noon, I went to the library to pick up Liu Jing, and we ate lunch together at the cafeteria..."

"etc."

Shen Kang interrupted him, "Shouldn't you be avoiding suspicion at a time like this? Why are you still going to have dinner with Liu Jing?"

Guo Pinyan looked at him with utter incomprehension. "I've set up all this, and you're just going to let me hide away like a coward? That's so boring! That's the feeling I want—a sense of being surrounded by danger, yet strolling around leisurely. That's the thrill I crave!"

"..."

Shen Kang was speechless and could only wave his hand, "You continue."

Guo Pinyan continued.

"Actually, in my active defense system, the cafeteria is also a place where it is easy to 'accidentally come into contact'. So when I eat with Liu Jing now, I always look for places that are as hidden as possible. For example, the Huaixi Noodle Restaurant on the second floor of the second cafeteria, together with the dining area opposite, there is a recessed area, and there is a pillar blocking the side front. Unless you go around to look, you can't see the people inside, so it is relatively safe."

"So these past few days, I've been craving noodles. Every time I go out to eat with Liu Jing, we go to this noodle shop, and we always sit in that secluded spot. But just yesterday at noon, when Liu Jing and I were eating there, I saw Wu Jiahao go upstairs to eat too!"

"He was sitting at the window next to that noodle shop, ordered a sour fish soup, and sat down not far in front of us, just a pillar away! I could even hear him answering and making a phone call!"

Guo Pinyan was completely ecstatic.

Clearly, the previous proactive defense was just a secondary point he made when he brought Shen Kang over to talk today; the real point was this matter.

"Old Shen, you know what? At that moment, my heart was pounding at least 180 beats per minute, but I had to keep a calm expression so Liu Jing wouldn't find it strange. At the same time, I was also afraid that Wu Jiahao might suddenly have a meltdown and come around to peek in here..."

Guo Pinyan described in detail his tense, exciting, yet incredibly thrilling state of mind at the time.

After finishing her explanation, Guo Pinyan leaned back in her chair like a deflated balloon, her face beaming with satisfaction.