I met my whole family through Baidu Tieba.

夜

In Shen Kang's dormitory, Feng Moquan was quietly reviewing his studies.

Shen Kang sat in front of his computer looking at some report-style documents: experience reports on electric toothbrushes, some of which had already been submitted. They were mainly sent to Anjia Technology, but he, as the boss, would also receive a copy so he could have a detailed understanding of the situation.

Two of them were fairly normal, with both praise and criticism.

But one of them was outrageous.

"Can the vibration frequency of the brush head be adjusted? My girlfriend feels it's too strong and it hurts a little."

"..."

Shen Kang remained silent for a long time.

In the past, he might have thought it was because the brush head was too strong and his gums hurt a little, but after hearing He Qiuzhu tell that "ghost story"...

This makes one wonder where exactly the pain is.

And another thing, classmate, is the "girlfriend" you're referring to actually yourself?

Just as Shen Kang was reviewing these experience reports and admiring the heroic demeanor of contemporary female college students, the dormitory door was pushed open.

Jin Chao and Wang Pan returned from outside.

Wang Pan was holding a small, flat cardboard box.

Now, as soon as he gets back to his dorm, he stands in front of his desk, puts down a flat little cardboard box, and takes out what's inside—a thick notebook.

Wang Pan took a deep breath, took the secondhand civil service exam notes off the desk, and held them with both hands. His posture was so solemn that it was as if he was inviting a deity to be consecrated, rather than holding a book.

The piety of their movements and the solemnity of their expressions made one momentarily think they had wandered onto the wrong set, stumbling upon a branch of the God of Literature.

The reason is simple: this notebook is becoming increasingly mystical in the Beiming community, rising to the level of metaphysics. It is said that the "spiritual energy for success" remaining in it can entangle with the holder at the quantum level, greatly increasing the probability of success in achieving academic goals and passing exams.

Even more outrageous items were bought to bless the cafeteria aunties so their hands wouldn't shake, some people bought them to put under their pillows to bless themselves so they could get up at eight o'clock the next morning, and some people bought them to bless themselves so they could successfully confess their love.

A notebook carries far too much weight it shouldn't have to bear.

Of course, at present, the most important uses of these "passing notes" are twofold: one is to provide a "buff for civil service exams"; the other is to provide "spiritual blessings to avoid failing exams".

After Wang Pan placed the notebook neatly on the desk, he took three steps back and clasped his hands together in prayer.

That posture was so perfect that it would put any temple volunteer to shame.

Shen Kang, sitting here, had already been drawn to Pan Ge's actions.

Seeing Wang Pan's actions, he couldn't help but speak up, "Wait, Brother Pan, why all the formality? I've heard rumors that praying to this stuff can prevent you from failing your exams, but aren't you being a bit too superstitious?"

"You don't understand." Wang Pan didn't turn his head, his voice low and serious. "This isn't superstition, it's a ritual. It was summarized by the seniors in the community who came ashore, and every step has profound meaning."

Every time Wang Pan went to study with Lao Shen and the others, he would always be knocked unconscious by a punch as soon as he stepped into the study room.

Therefore, Wang Panjue felt that he was having a bad day with studying, and his final exam results might be in jeopardy. He could only rely on some external help.

Therefore, he naturally dared not slack off at all regarding this recently hyped "external force".

After speaking with Shen Kang, Wang Pan took out a small item from the drawer—a brand new, unopened tea bag.

Shen Kang couldn't help but ask, "What's going on now?"

"The first step is to serve tea."

Wang Pan solemnly placed the tea bag directly in front of the notebook, explaining, "The word 'tea' is a homophone for 'check,' implying 'you will definitely pass the test.' This is the starting gesture of the ritual and cannot be omitted."

Shen Kang opened his mouth, wanting to say something, but Wang Pan had already moved on to the second step.

He took three black ballpoint pens from the pen holder, removed all the caps, and lined them up in front of the notebook with the nibs facing upwards.

"The three pens represent three exams. The nibs are pointing upwards, symbolizing 'a single stroke leading to heaven.' Note this."

Wang Pan emphasized, "It must be black, not blue. Black belongs to water, and water represents wisdom. Blue belongs to wood, and wood overcomes earth. In civil service examinations, it is most taboo for wood to overcome earth, because earth represents the organization."

"..."

Shen Kang experienced a brief period of cognitive impairment.

Then, he subconsciously glanced at the blue pen on his desk and silently put it in the drawer—not that he preferred to believe it was true rather than not, but simply to cooperate with Brother Pan.

"Step three."

Wang Pan's voice grew increasingly solemn, "Wash your hands."

He went to the bathroom and washed his hands three times with Safeguard soap, rubbing them for a full twenty seconds each time.

When he returned, he held his hands in front of his chest, like a surgeon who had just finished pre-operative disinfection.

Then, Wang Pan stood in front of the notebook, his feet shoulder-width apart, his gaze fixed straight ahead—Shen Kang followed his gaze and saw that he was looking at the school calendar posted on the wall, with the dates of the final exams circled in red pen.

"The fourth step is to regulate your breathing. Facing the exam date, take three deep breaths to expel stale air and inhale good luck for the exam."

Wang Pan closed his eyes and took three deep breaths. Each inhale felt like inhaling some rare gas, and each exhale carried a resolute determination to expel all the risk of failing the course.

"The fifth step, this is the most crucial step."

Wang Pan opened his eyes, his expression solemn, and formed the "Ashore Seal" with both hands.

Upon hearing the term "landing mark," Shen Kang sat up straight.

No, they've even started forming hand seals?

Wang Pan raised both hands, palms up, fingers interlaced, then slowly turned them over so that palms faced down, making a gesture as if he were pressing some invisible button.

"With palms facing upwards, receive the spiritual energy from your predecessors; flip them downwards, pressing the spiritual energy into your dantian. This up-and-down motion is the process of spiritual energy infusion. And this final gesture..."

Wang Pan maintained the posture of pressing the button, "It means you've pressed the confirmation button to log off. In the community, this is called 'confirming logging off.'"

Shen Kang looked at Wang Pan's handprint and wanted to say, "Isn't this just pressing the elevator button?"

But he ultimately swallowed those words and instead gave a serious nod.

After completing the hand seal ceremony, Wang Pan finally entered the final stage—looking through his notes.

There are rules for browsing.

You can only use your left hand, you can't wear gloves, and your skin must be in direct contact with the paper—Wang Pan explained that this is to ensure that the transmission of spiritual energy is unobstructed, and that turning the pages with bare hands maximizes absorption.

Turn the pages one by one, at a moderate pace, spending at least three seconds on each page. Your eyes should actually be "looking," but you don't need to actually memorize the content.

"This is called 'reviewing,' not for you to study, but to let the notes know that you are looking at them. The elders said that notes have a spirit, and they need to be respected. Only if you look at them carefully will they protect you."

Upon hearing this, Shen Kang typed a line in his memo: A typical case of anthropomorphic consumer behavior—consumers endow inanimate goods with subjectivity and establish emotional connections through ritualistic behaviors.

Feng Moquan stopped reviewing and silently watched Wang Pan, who was pretending to be a ghost.

It was clear that Feng Moquan wanted to say something, but he didn't.

This is mainly because the two have been locked in a strange cold war for several days since their debate a few days ago over the "people's view of history" and the "heroic view of history."

Shen Kang was baffled—seriously, are college students this outrageous? A simple discussion of two historical perspectives can escalate into a cold war?

He tried to mediate, but the two men said in unison, "This is a dispute over policy!"

.

Shen Kang simply stopped trying to reconcile, since it is common knowledge that, throughout history, the struggle between different political lines has been the most difficult to resolve. It cannot be mediated by conventional factors such as interests or emotions; it often leads to a fight to the death.

Therefore, although Feng Moquan was eager to speak about Wang Pan's behavior, he held back.

Until, watching Wang Pan's meticulous page-turning movements, he finally couldn't hold back anymore.

"It must have taken you quite a while to learn this process, right?"

Feng Moquan actually wanted to ask if this system was really useful, but somehow he ended up asking the question above.

After turning the last page, Wang Pan closed his notebook and let out a long breath, his expression as if he had just broken through a major realm in his cultivation.

He glanced at Feng Moquan and thought to himself, since Old Feng has taken the initiative to speak to me, I should give him face too.

So he said, "The full text of the ritual is in the popular post 'Exemplary Ritual for Ascending to the Shore' on the Beiming Community. There are over ten pages of comments and replies. Do you think anyone actually studies it?"

Feng Moquan paused for a second, then spoke.

"That tea bag... you've used up yours, can I borrow one?"

Feng Moquan seemed to understand why he had asked that question earlier—it was a kind of "transitional language" in his intuition.

Having gone through that transition before, his request now seems less abrupt.

Wang Pan glanced at him, his eyes filled with a sense of relief, as if to say, "Comrade, you've finally figured it out."

Then, Wang Pan opened the drawer, took out a complete, unopened Lipton tea bag, and handed it over.

"No need to pay me back, consider it my treat. But there's one condition—during the ceremony, your heart must be sincere. If your heart isn't sincere, the spiritual energy won't connect."

Feng Moquan accepted the tea bag and nodded solemnly.

five minutes later

In the dormitory, two men who had been in a cold war for two days over "heroic view of history versus people's view of history" stood side by side in front of a second-hand notebook.

One person holds a tea bag in their hand, while the other forms a mudra with both hands.

Wang Pan whispered a reminder: "Your hand seal is wrong. Your little finger should be tucked in, right? Also, when you breathe, you should silently recite your goal. What are you reciting?"

Feng Moquan closed his eyes and answered sincerely, "An overview of Deng Xiaoping Theory and the important thought of the Three Represents."

Wang Pan nodded in satisfaction: "Yes, it's very stable."

Shen Kang sat there watching, laughing heartily.

Jin Chao ignored them.

After returning to his dormitory, Jin Chao went to his desk and sat down. He put down a small cardboard box, carefully opened it, and took out a P-brand packaging box. Then he opened it and took out a P-brand that looked brand new at first glance, but had some wear and tear upon closer inspection.

I finally got it.

Jin Chao thought to himself with emotion.

He had actually considered placing an order the day Lu Tinglan posted his response, but he didn't in the end—not because he didn't have the money. He had made some money from reselling trial vouchers a few months ago, and his family had been giving him money every month since then. He was also quite frugal with his spending, so he still had enough money to buy a used P.

I'm still a little reluctant to spend over 400 yuan on a second-hand P, since I don't usually listen to music.

It wasn't until the next day that Jin Chao finally made his final decision, but it was too late. He checked Huanhuan.com and found that the same used P Nan 2 model as Lu Tinglan was out of stock!

Other used P models, such as the P Nan 3, are still available, but they are priced higher.

Just as Jin Chao was hesitating again and refreshing the webpage, he discovered that even the P Nan 3 had been bought by someone else and was out of stock!

Food tastes better when everyone's fighting over it.

Jin Chao had been a little hesitant before, but after this experience, he was no longer hesitant at all. He would check Huanhuan.com every day whenever he had free time to see if there were any new arrivals.

However, since he didn't have a computer and it wasn't very convenient to check on his phone, his efficiency in grabbing items wasn't as high as those classmates who had computers.

Even though Huanhuan.com keeps bringing in new products, they're always snatched up by others first.

That's why it's been delayed for several days.

Until last night, when Jin Chao was browsing the internet on Shen Kang's computer, he finally found a new used P Nan 2.

After the agony of "constantly missing out" over the past few days, he didn't hesitate any longer and placed an order as quickly as possible. And then, it arrived today.

After looking at the newly acquired P for a while, Jin Chao did not use it immediately. Instead, he picked up his phone and took pictures of the P from various angles.

Afterwards, he took his phone and a P and went to Shen Kang's side.

"Old Shen, can I borrow your computer for a moment?"

At this moment, Shen Kang was still watching Wang Pan "perform the ritual".

Upon hearing this, he immediately turned off some items on the table and made room for her.

Jin Chao sat down, first connecting his phone to his computer with a data cable to transfer some photos he had just taken to the computer, and then logging into the Beiming Community to prepare to post.

But when he was about to start, his hand froze in mid-air above the keyboard.

How should I write it? Should I write something like, "I'm not pretending anymore, I'm coming clean, I also bought a used P"?

No way, there have been so many posts like this on the Yangke University Plaza of the Beiming Community these past few days—those sons of bitches, after stealing my goods, the first thing they do is come to the plaza, post something like that, and then add photos to it.

One person using secondhand items might be looked down upon; but when a group of people use secondhand items, or even when others want to use secondhand items but can't find them, a sense of scarcity is created, which becomes a trend. This can actually make people look down on others and feel superior – "Do you have a secondhand device from Huanhuan.com? You're such a country bumpkin."

Second-hand items on Huanhuan.com have become a fashion item.

Some people even deliberately make their Ps look old to follow this trend. Later, some people who posted pictures of secondhand Ps bought on Huanhuan.com even attached screenshots of the purchase process from Huanhuan.com's backend to prove that their Ps were genuine secondhand products!

Those without purchase screenshots are fake.

Well, it's a brand new product that was legitimately purchased from a large department store, but it's still "fake." It's just that surreal.

Therefore, posts like "I'm not pretending anymore, I'm coming clean, I also bought a second-hand P" shouldn't be published; they lack originality.

She probably wouldn't even notice.

Jin Chao thought to himself silently.

So, how should it be written?

Jin Chao considered a few more directions, but they were either like product reviews or too direct, like blatant love letters. Neither suited his taste.

As he pondered, Jin Chao gradually became thoughtful.

He seems to have found his direction.

Jin Chao's hands moved to the keyboard and landed.

He typed very slowly, one word at a time, a stark contrast to his usual fast typing speed.