I met my whole family through Baidu Tieba.

Zhou Man sat in her office, holding a book titled "Innovation and Entrepreneurship" and reading it attentively.

Judging from the title, this is a book about business management.

The content, however, is a bit strange:

...The five minutes after you walk in will determine whether you'll find out where he went tonight.

The following is a bolded introduction: Don't ask "Why are you so late?" as soon as the other person walks in the door. This is a big mistake that many people make.

Entering the room is a highly sensitive "emotional transition period." Every word you say in those five minutes will directly determine his willingness to report in the next three hours.

Further down are the behavioral patterns listed for different family types.

The first type is the strict family.

When your child comes in, if you are in the kitchen, don't immediately peek out. Wait until they are standing at the doorway, put down their bag, and change their shoes before you take a glass of warm water and say, "It's cold outside, have some water."

Don't mention time, don't mention studying, and don't ask "Why did you take so long to come back?"

After he sits down on the sofa and has had a drink of water, casually ask, "It's quite late today"—note that this must be said in a declarative tone, not as a question.

If he says "something came up," don't immediately ask "what is it?" Instead, say, "Then don't rush so much next time. I'll message you before dinner." This shows your concern and leaves him room to ask again next time.

The second type is the free-range family.

Children usually don't speak when they come in, and may even go straight back to their room.

In this situation, do not follow.

All you need to do is put the heated food on the table, set out the bowls and chopsticks, and then go about your business.

Children from free-range families are not used to being waited for. If you wait for them, they feel like you are interrogating them. The correct approach is to wait until they are hungry and come out on their own. At that point, you can simply say, "There's still rice in the rice cooker, just the right amount," and that's enough.

After the meal, he will be more likely to speak than children from the previous type of family, because in his mind, you are "the one who gave him space".

The third type is single-parent families.

Zhou Man watched this part most attentively.

The book says: When children from single-parent families come home, what they fear most is not being asked questions, but being "stared at".

The fact that you're sitting in the living room waiting for him will put pressure on him.

The correct approach is to be busy with something else when he comes in, such as folding clothes, arranging flowers, or organizing photo albums. When you hear him come home, look up at him, nod, and say, "You're back," then continue with your task.

At this point, he might actually stay near you a little longer.

Don't underestimate those extra few seconds; he's using silence to observe your emotions. If you're calm enough, he'll start talking about what happened today…

Zhou Man finished reading this page and drew a horizontal line between "single-parent family" and "flower arrangement".

She can't arrange flowers, but she can fold clothes.

Zhou Man turned two more pages and saw another piece of content.

Don't just ask "Where did you go?", let him tell you himself "Where did I go?"

The following is a lengthy argument, the core point of which is: everyone's brain has an "information gate." If you ask directly, the gate will reflexively close; if you don't ask, but only describe the state, the gate will open on its own.

For example, if you want to ask him where he went tonight, don't say, "Why are you so late today?", but say, "I made three dishes tonight, thinking you would come back early to eat."

The point of this sentence is not "You're late," but "I cooked for you."

Then, he will fill in the information you actually want himself.

This process is called "guilt-based guidance" or "regressive reporting motivation".

The common tactic is to use phrases like "I won't ask anymore," "I'm fine," and "Whatever makes you happy" to create a sense of compromise and grievance, making the other person feel guilty and thus take the initiative to confess.

The book also provides a script chart, listing ten high-frequency scenarios and corresponding strategies.

If you want to know your grades, the appropriate response would be, "Never mind, I won't ask about your grades. You know how well you did, and I won't put any pressure on you."

If you want to know who he ate with, the appropriate response is, "It's okay, you don't need to report to me who you eat with. I was just asking casually, whatever makes you happy."

If you want to know if he's in a relationship, the appropriate response would be, "You're all grown up now, it's normal to have someone you like. If you don't want to talk about it, I won't ask, so you won't find me annoying..."

Zhou Man watched, seemingly lost in thought.

In the business world, they use extreme pressure more often.

If she wanted to know the bottom line from her opponent, she would never say, "Forget it, I won't ask about the price. You know what it is." If she did that, the other party would only push the price even harder, and might even think she had no sincerity in negotiating. In the business world, concessions don't bring guilt; they only bring more aggressive price-cutting and deeper concealment.

She recalled an instance where a partner was late in submitting their proposal, and she patiently said, "It's okay, take your time, I won't rush you." As a result, the partner actually delayed for a month, and the final product was a complete mess.

She understood then and there: in a world of self-interest, your consideration will be taken advantage of.

But the book says that if you tell a child, "If you don't want to talk about it, I won't ask," the child will feel guilty and take the initiative to tell you.

She found it hard to believe—the same tactic of retreating to advance was actually working here?

I learned something.

As I flipped through the pages, I arrived at the next chapter.

The new chapter begins with a full page of chapter titles, designed much like a thesis format.

In the center is a line of bold text: Chapter Three - From Itinerary to Life: Entering His Real World.

Above is the book's actual title: "Three Sentences to Get Your Child to Report Their Itinerary to You: A Study on the Controllability of Affectionate Distance."

Just then, someone knocked on the door.

"Please come in."

Ding Ling pushed open the door and came in; her expression was different from usual.

She glanced at Zhou Man, then at the book "Innovation and Entrepreneurship" in Zhou Man's hand, before speaking: "President Zhou, Secretary Chen from the Asia-Pacific Financial Forum just called to say that the seating arrangements for tonight's banquet need to be rearranged."

Zhou Man put down her book and looked up: "How do I adjust it?"

Ding Ling carefully chose her words and said, "They said that because of changes in the attendance of several leaders, the seating arrangement at the main table needs to be rearranged. Your original seat... has been moved to the third table."

Zhou Man raised an eyebrow.

She knew the third table at the Asia Forum; it was near the side door, two tables away from the main table, and mostly occupied by representatives of sponsors and small and medium-sized business owners from out of town.

To put it nicely, this arrangement is "flexible adjustment based on the forum theme"; to put it bluntly, it's like asking you to step out of the center circle.

"First published on" "Novel" "website" [ ] [ ] [ ] [ ] [ ]

"Anything else?" Zhou Man asked calmly.

Ding Ling paused for a moment before saying, "Secretary Chen specifically asked me to ask you if it would be convenient for you to arrive early tonight. She said that they need to take another group photo at the main table, and they're worried that if everyone is standing too close together, it will be difficult to coordinate if you arrive. So they want you to go directly to the banquet hall instead of the VIP room in front."

Zhou Man put down her pen and leaned back in her chair.

They wouldn't even let people into the VIP tea room, and just dumped them in the banquet hall. That's interesting.

Zhou Man glanced at the book on the table and found it even more interesting: just now, she had read about "retreating to advance" in the book, and now she was encountering "extreme pressure" in her own situation.

Seeing that she didn't speak, Ding Ling added quietly, "Secretary Chen also asked if you were bringing a driver tonight, saying that there might not be enough parking spaces, so that President Zhou could be prepared."

Zhou Man chuckled, sending a chill down Ding Ling's spine.

She knew that smile all too well. Whenever President Zhou smiled like that, it meant either he was about to fire someone or embarrass them.

"Tell Secretary Chen,"

Zhou Man stood up unhurriedly, picked up "Innovation and Entrepreneurship," put it in the drawer, locked it, and turned to look at the streetlights that were already on outside the window. "I won't go to the banquet. Tell him to save the seat for someone who needs it. Also, could you make an appointment for me with Mr. Li from Taihe? Tell him I'd like to have a cup of tea in his office tomorrow afternoon."

Ding Ling immediately agreed, then asked, "Should I speak to Secretary Chen myself? Do you have any instructions, President Zhou?"

Zhou Man was walking towards the clothes rack.

Hearing Ding Ling's question, she paused for a moment, thought for a second, and said, "Tell him a short story..."

After briefly telling Ding Ling the story, Zhou Man went to the coat rack, took a coat, and left.

Ding Ling followed and opened the door for her.

Zhou Man walked out of the office, her high heels clicking on the corridor floor in the same rhythm as usual.

Ding Ling followed behind, feeling that President Zhou had caught all her nervousness.

After Zhou Man left, Ding Ling returned to her office.

She first copied the little story Zhou Man had just told her from memory, then carefully revised it, and finally picked up the phone to call Secretary Chen of the Asia-Pacific Financial Forum.

The phone rang three times before being answered. The voice sounded very polite: "Assistant Ding, how is it? What about President Zhou...?"

"Secretary Chen, President Zhou really can't get away tonight."

Ding Ling's tone was soft, with the calmness of someone who had just finished something, "She's been quite busy lately, so she won't be going to the banquet."

Secretary Chen paused for a moment, then said, "Assistant Ding, in principle I shouldn't ask too much about President Zhou's affairs, but as you know, this forum was organized by several parties. Now that the main table list has been submitted, President Zhou suddenly said he wouldn't be coming. I don't know how to explain this to the organizing committee."

Ding Ling didn't respond, but listened to him.

Secretary Chen waited two seconds, and seeing that there was no sound from the other end of the phone, she continued, "Okay, I'll reserve that seat at the head table for President Zhou. He can sit down whenever he arrives. The seat will remain the same; it won't be moved to the side. I can make that decision."

"However, the VIP tea party and group photo before the banquet may not be able to be arranged."

"The list has already been submitted and confirmed by the event organizers, so it's not easy to change it. If Mr. Zhou arrives after 7 PM, please go directly to the banquet hall, and I will personally greet you at the entrance. As for the group photo, there will be many more events in the future, so this one won't make a difference."

After listening, Ding Ling smiled but didn't respond. Instead, as if she had suddenly remembered something, she said, "Secretary Chen, I saw something interesting in a financial magazine the other day. Let me tell you about it."

Secretary Chen was clearly taken aback, but not wanting to interrupt, he could only say, "Go on."

Ding Ling's voice was neither hurried nor slow.

"PepsiCo CEO Carl Willeop received a call from the mayor inviting him to dinner one day, near the end of the workday. He declined without hesitation, saying, 'Sorry, I already told him I was celebrating my daughter's birthday tonight, and I don't want to be a father who breaks his promise.'"

There was a moment of silence on Secretary Chen's end, then a voice came through: "I remember, Karl isn't the president, he's just the vice president."

Ding Ling smiled, "I don't know about that. I'm not very familiar with the business situation abroad. Our CEO Zhou always tells me to read more international financial magazines. But I'm not interested in those things. I'd rather read more history books. Don't laugh at me, but as a girl, I just love reading history, especially Liu Che, Li Zhi, and Ju Yi. Our CEO Zhou always says I'm weird."

Secretary Chen on the other end of the phone thought to herself, "Assistant Ding's words have a hidden meaning."

Who were Liu Che, Li Zhi, and Ju Yi?

Liu Che was the tenth son of Emperor Jing of Han. His mother, Wang Zhi, had been married before entering the palace, so her background was not exactly noble. At that time, the crown prince was Liu Rong, but Emperor Jing truly favored Liu Wu, the Prince of Liang. A group of senior officials in the court were watching the rivalry between the two brothers.

What about Liu Che? He was a tenth prince born out of wedlock, enfeoffed in that small place called Jiaodong. Who in Chang'an took him seriously?

But later, Liu Rong was deposed, and Liu Wu brought about his own downfall. The throne went through many twists and turns, eventually ending up on the head of his most inconspicuous tenth son, who became Emperor Wu of Han.

Li Zhi was the ninth son of Emperor Taizong of Tang.

Crown Prince Li Chengqian was the eldest son whom the old man had personally mentored; Prince Wei, Li Tai, compiled the "Kuodi Zhi" (Records of the Land), and was a man of great literary talent and elegance. Emperor Taizong of Tang (Li Shimin) was so fond of him that he wished he could have the word "virtuous" engraved on his forehead; and there was also Prince Wu, Li Ke, the grandson of Emperor Yang of Sui, whom all the officials felt had the air of heroism.

What about Li Zhi? He was the ninth son, with a bunch of older brothers above him, all of whom were either the eldest sons of the principal wife or favored ministers, so it was not his turn.

However, when Chengqian rebelled, Li Tai's behavior was too ugly. In order to protect all his sons, Li Shimin gave the crown prince position to the most mild-mannered Jiulang, who became Emperor Gaozong of Tang.

It also gave rise to a Chinese proverb:

Wu Zetian became a widow—she lost Li Zhi.

Juy, needless to say.

The famous director and lead actor of the Jingnan Campaign, the nephew's throne-confiscation device, the one who broke down the gates of Yingtianfu and divided the city into kingdoms, the clerk of Fang Xiaoru's nine clans, the annual title sponsor of Zheng He's voyages, the chief contractor of the Forbidden City, the leader of the five expeditions to the northern deserts self-driving tour, the chief editor of the Yongle Encyclopedia, the fourth son of Zhu Yuanzhang and the beneficiary of the automatic shift in the succession order after his "eldest, second, and third brothers were all gone," the night watchman of the Fengshakou Pass in Beiping for twenty years, and the set builder of the "All Nations Paying Homage" scene...

Secretary Chen felt that Assistant Ding, while claiming to be good at history, was actually only so-so. The first two examples were alright, but this last one was somewhat inappropriate.

Despite Assistant Ding's poor past, Secretary Chen still understood what Assistant Ding meant.

This gave Secretary Chen a thought, and he said, "History is good, history studies, we can learn from history to understand rise and fall... Assistant Ding, President Zhou is not coming tonight, is he going to some other appointment?"