Forests Don't Support Idle Goblins

It was still a bit chilly in the fortress at dawn. Chi Mu woke up from his sleep and struggled to push off the thick fur blanket covering him.

The three goblins living with him in the stone house were still fast asleep, while he quietly began to put on his clothes. These clothes were quite warm, but they were much more complicated than simply draping a few rags over himself as before.

"Drip left here, drip right here." He always made sure to check both sides before putting on his clothes. In the early days, when the leader returned the clothes to the goblins, many of them made the mistake of wearing them inside out. At that time, Red Eyes also often felt that the clothes were really uncomfortable, as if something was always stuck in his throat. Later, the leader kicked him several times before he realized that he had also worn them inside out.

After getting dressed, the goblins were still sleeping. One of them was even muttering in its sleep under the blanket, seemingly trying to escape. Red Eyes saw the goblin's legs kicking and thrashing under the blanket, as if it was being chased by something.

He shook his head, put on his shoes, picked up the longsword on the low cabinet, and walked straight out of the stone house.

Many goblins now have their own wooden beds and low cabinets. The chief said they can put whatever they like inside, things that belong only to them, and they cannot steal other goblins' belongings. If they are found stealing, the offender will be expelled from the tribe. In Red Eye's low cabinet, there is only a small wooden carving, which he asked One-Eye to make. The carving is shaped like a fist-sized brain-eating monster. When he went to find One-Eye, he found that the other was carving a wooden figure while comparing it with the little tin soldier on the chief's table.

It was a cold morning. After stepping out of the stone house, Chi Mu took a deep breath. The chilly air rushed into his lungs, causing him to cough a few times. "This weather is awful."

After cursing a few times, Chi Mu carried his longsword and walked through the passage of the underground fortress. Compared to the others, he got up particularly early because he still had some things to do. Soon, he carefully passed through the stone chamber crowded with elephants and walked out of the fortress.

Elephant herds are fascinating; they even dream and make soft noises. Just a few days ago, I saw an elephant, for some unknown reason, kick its companion while it was fast asleep.

The leader had said before that when these wild animals slept in the wild, they would always leave a companion to keep watch. However, since this huge herd of elephants came here, Red Eyes had never seen any elephants keeping watch. They seemed to have completely forgotten about it.

The stone chamber wasn't very large; the elephants could barely squeeze in. The original owner of the chamber, the "Golden Retriever" unicorn, could only huddle in a corner now, whereas it used to roam the chamber all the time.

After leaving the fortress, Akame stretched and then, as if familiar with the way, went straight to the door of a wooden house. The door was not closed, but slightly ajar. Akame slowly pushed the door open and reached out to pick up a sealed pottery jar from beside the door.

The earthenware jar contained what he had specifically asked the centaurs to leave behind—deer brains, and the brains of other prey.

Centaurs kill several large deer a day, and they keep the deer brains for Red Eyes. They also hunt in the surrounding area, and they dig out the brains of their prey and put them into this pottery jar.

The food inside is for the brain-eating monsters. Red Eyes comes to collect it every morning and then returns to a semi-sealed stone house in the fortress to feed the brain-eating monsters.

He really liked these little white creatures, and he would always pick them up and rub them. He just didn't know why the leader wouldn't allow the goblins to roam freely with the brain-eating monsters. In the leader's words, "There are too many people in the tribe. Not everyone is brainless."

He volunteered to feed the brain-eating monsters, preferring the role of their caretaker to leading the hunting team in training and patrols.

As the red and white organs from the terracotta pot were poured into the food bowl, several brain-eating monsters lying on the hay nearby immediately stood up. These little guys don't seem to have noses, so how do they distinguish the taste of food?

Red Eyes scratched his head, then watched as the brain-eating monsters gathered around, extended their sharp mouthparts from under their bodies, and inserted them directly into the food bowl, sucking on it with a "glug glug" sound.

He crouched down and touched one of the brain-eating monsters. The creature's round body felt somewhat hard to the touch, but it was not lacking in elasticity. If you pressed it with a little force, you could feel a slight bouncy sensation. However, the brain-eating monsters did not like people touching their bodies. Every time they were touched, they would lower their bodies and dodge away.

"You need to grow up quickly." Red Eyes gently patted each of the brain-eating monsters. He used to have a large group of round little creatures, but after those hateful humans attacked, only a few brain-eating monsters remained. He didn't know how to raise brain-eating monsters, so he asked the leader. The leader also said, "I've never heard of how to raise these things." So Red Eyes and a few goblins could only figure out how to raise these little guys.

After feeding the brain-eating monster, Red Eyes returned the pottery jar. After this ordeal, other goblins in the fortress began to get up, and they went to the underground river in twos and threes to wash their faces.

The leader was puzzled. He required every goblin to go to the river to wash their face and brush their teeth every morning. He also provided each goblin with a toothbrush with a wooden handle and a cloth to wipe their face. You should know that now less than a third of the members of the entire tribe have their own clothes, and even fewer goblins have shoes, but toothbrushes and cloths are provided directly.

Of course, washing one's face in the cold river water is fine, but Chimu hates taking a bath even more. The chief had required them to take baths a long time ago, starting when the tribe only had four members. Every time a new member joined, they were quickly sent to take a bath. Now that the weather is getting colder, taking a bath has become a form of torture. Chimu hasn't taken a bath for almost ten days, and he is unwilling to jump into the cold underground river.

"Two flatbreads and a bowl of soup." After taking care of his personal matters, he went straight to the cafeteria and lined up for breakfast.

The female goblin serving the food scooped up a spoonful of thick soup and poured it into a wooden bowl, then picked up two fried round cakes and handed them to him.

Sitting on the bench, Chi Mu bent down and slurped the soup in circles around the rim of the bowl. As the hot soup went down, the slightly spicy sensation immediately spread throughout his body, followed by a warm feeling from the inside out.

This hot soup was said to have been invented by the chief. It contains wheat flour, meat broth, wild chili peppers, wild wood ear mushrooms, and some wild flowers and nuts gathered from the forest. The soup is fragrant, spicy, and flavorful, and after a few sips, you will no longer feel the cold of winter.

The leader said this stuff was called "Hula Soup," but now the white-haired guy has named it "Forest Soup."

After a few bites, Akame felt his whole body come alive, and the bone-chilling cold was completely expelled. He grabbed a tree fruit cake fried in monster-like oil, dipped it in the forest broth a few times, and began to chew it heartily.

The cafeteria was getting more and more crowded, and many goblins were greeting each other with loud chatter. Meanwhile, the lame guy sat down diagonally opposite Red Eye with a bowl of hot soup and a few flatbreads.

Compared to the others, the lame man is now "floating" around, his blue "big baby" supporting him on the ground, floating around, or as the leader puts it, "like riding a balance bike."

"When will that thing be modified?" Red-eyed asked the lame man, holding a fruit cake in his hand.

"It will take a little more time," the lame man replied to the red-eyed man's question while slurping his soup.

Yesterday, Akame suddenly had a crazy idea and picked up the iron pipe and launched the cannonball directly. As a result, he was kicked twice by the leader. However, the leader didn't seem to be angry. Instead, he kept muttering something like "Apiji" "Apiji". Akame didn't know what that was. He only knew that there might be something more fun in the future.

"Making changes would be a little difficult. The chief and my teacher discussed it yesterday." The lame man tore a fruit cake into several small pieces, then soaked them all into the forest soup, pressing them down a few times with a spoon. "The teacher said the main issue is flight stability, which shouldn't be too difficult to resolve."

Red Eyes knew that the teacher the other person was referring to was that human woman, the witch named Agatha.

Several goblins in the tribe had begun to learn that strange language, but unfortunately, he had tried a few times and could never remember what to say. Rather than trying to pronounce it correctly, Akame felt that it was more convenient to "talk" to others directly with his longsword.

"By the way, the chief said yesterday that that stupid kingdom might send goblins." The lame man scooped up a soft, sour fruit cake crumb with a spoon and stuffed it into his mouth, nodding as he chewed.

"Is this the flying insect kingdom that Qingpi mentioned?" A voice rang out from the side, and Nine Fingers sat down, holding a wooden bowl.

"The Feathered Serpent Kingdom," the lame man corrected.

"Whatever kingdom it is, we'll cut them down no matter how many come," Nine Fingers said with a laugh, his tone completely unconcerned.

Red Eyes nodded, his gaze sweeping over the wall next to the dining hall, where a white beast skull hung.

This canteen is built on a large platform by the underground river, next to the uneven underground cave walls. The skull of the Deinonychus bear hangs on a protruding stalagmite. Nowadays, not many goblins mention that monster anymore, but occasionally when they look up, their eyes will sweep over the beast's skull.

However, Akame still remembered that battle, the first time their leader led them to victory against an invincible and powerful enemy.

"Hmm, no matter how many come, they'll all die." Red-eyed grinned, then lowered his head and slurped down the forest soup.

…………

"Kill as many as there are." In the reception room of a magnificent cathedral in the capital of the Kingdom of Argon, the young merchant Jabal was listening respectfully to a young man dressed in pure white armor.

"But those goblins are attached to that evil god, the feathered serpent god," Jabbar emphasized, though his movements remained respectful.

"Do you think our Crusaders can't deal with that evil god?" The young man in white armor glanced at Jabbar sideways, his tone revealing his dissatisfaction.

"No, Lord Lingard," Jabbar quickly waved his hand, "Please forgive me, that's not what I meant. It's just that for us ordinary people, the evil god is exceptionally powerful, and it's hiding in the Nightmare Forest. If it weren't for avenging my dead comrades, I wouldn't have come to visit you so rashly."

"Do you know where that evil god is hiding?" Lingard didn't even glance at the merchant beside him, but went straight to the window, where a group of paladins in white armor were sparring with each other.

"Yes, sir." Jabbar immediately pulled out a crumpled piece of paper from his person, with half a bloody handprint on it. "This is a letter my guild clerk sent me via carrier pigeon, with the location clearly marked on it."

Lingard glanced at it, then reached out and took the letter. After glancing at its contents, he tossed it onto the low cabinet in front of him. "May the God of War save their souls. I already know about the matter and will soon discuss it with the commander of the Holy Crusade. I think there shouldn't be any problems."

Upon hearing this, Jabar immediately bowed and said, "That would be wonderful. If you can accomplish the feat of annihilating the evil god, I will definitely donate a large sum of money to the church, and I will also ask those great bards to compose and sing poems for you and the Crusaders."

"Alright, if there's nothing else, you can go." Lingard didn't even turn around, his eyes still fixed on the window. He waved casually, as if dismissing a beggar.

"Yes, yes, thank you for your trouble," Jabar said, bowing, but after he finished speaking, the corners of his mouth unconsciously turned up.

As the door to the reception room clicked shut, Lingard smirked and muttered to himself, "An evil god, just the right stepping stone for my rise to fame. As the chosen one of the Church of Battle and Glory, this is exactly the opportunity I need."

"It's just that the commander has disappeared again, that little dwarf," he pursed his lips, "Never mind, as the deputy commander, I also have the authority to mobilize the Holy Army."

"It's just an evil god. In the past, it would have been easy to deal with with some effort. As for those goblins that are attached to the evil god, they are nothing. We can just take care of them all."

He cracked his neck, making a few "crack" sounds, then reached out and grabbed at the air as if he were grasping an invisible piece of air.

With a clang, a metallic sound came from his shoulder, as if Lingard was carrying something on his shoulder.

"I should go outside and practice my swordsmanship. After this extermination of the evil god, I should be able to become the true leader of the Holy Army."

"The little dwarf isn't that great. She wouldn't be able to beat me if it weren't for that greatsword."

Outside the cathedral, Jabbar approached the carriage, glanced back at the imposing and solemn building, then, a smirk played on his lips as he said dismissively:

"Idiot."