Rebirth 04: Starting from Taking an Unconventional Approach

"Do you have a girlfriend?" Zhang Ruiyi asked. Her beer had just been served. She had originally ordered imported liquor, but Han Fei didn't really want her to order alcohol to avoid unnecessary trouble. After some arguing, he reluctantly let her change it to beer.

They were in a second-floor restaurant with a terrace in Xintiandi. Below the restaurant was a newly renovated Shikumen alleyway, now filled with trendy shops. The streets were mostly frequented by well-dressed young men and women, whom Han Fei guessed were all students.

They sat watching the slowly moving, fashionable crowd below, and also looking at each other. Zhang Ruiyi had given Han Fei a skeptical look when he ordered the freshly squeezed orange juice, but clearly, given her background, she was used to meeting people who weren't particularly enthusiastic about trends. Or perhaps not. Han Fei sensed that Zhang Ruiyi's family wasn't the typical wealthy type.

"No," Han Fei replied, then added, "Why are you suddenly asking this question?"

"Why is that, hmm?" Zhang Ruiyi shifted in her chair. "Have other girls asked you this question? Or do some guys ask it too?"

Han Fei chuckled lightly: "You want to embarrass me, don't you? Tell me about your boyfriend."

"I don't have a boyfriend." Zhang Ruiyi placed her right hand on her thigh, raised her beer glass with her left, smiled slightly, leaned back in her chair, and stared intently at him. "I'm still a virgin, if you're thinking about that."

Han Fei almost sprayed the orange juice from his mouth onto the table.

"But I'm definitely not some kind of 'good girl' either," Zhang Ruiyi said, raising the cup to her lips. "Why should I be?"

"Yes, why should you be?" Han Fei thought to himself.

"You're probably not the kind of well-behaved guy, are you?" Zhang Ruiyi put down her cup and adopted a serious expression.

"Why should I be?" This sounded like he was imitating her, so Han Fei quickly added, "Actually, I'm also quite a troublemaker."

"Yes, but you certainly didn't secretly drive your family's car when you were fifteen like I did," Zhang Ruiyi said.

Han Fei took a breath, carefully considered her words, and then slowly exhaled through his teeth. "Really? Then it seems your driving skills are something you've practiced since childhood. Are you a very good driver?"

"Why don't you try it and see?" Zhang Ruiyi's teasing expression returned. "Tell me why you don't have a girlfriend."

Han Fei paused for a moment before speaking. An impulse surged within him, perhaps wanting to see if he could retaliate with a shock. He wanted to tell her that in his previous life, he was busy struggling to survive and making up for regrets, leaving his love life a wasteland; reborn, he was even more preoccupied with saving the publishing house and planning for the future, leaving no time for anything else.

"It's a long story," Han Fei said, "it's probably because I keep missing out, or... not being focused enough."

"Not focused enough? You mean you're having affairs with several girls at the same time, juggling multiple relationships, right? You're a scumbag?"

Han Fei could hear the excitement and laughter in her voice as she dug up gossip.

"What you're describing is a lack of commitment, not a lack of focus," Han Fei said. "I just don't have the mind to think about relationships right now."

"You're being too serious."

"Feel sorry."

They sat quietly. Zhang Ruiyi played with the sticker on the beer bottle, glancing at Han Fei as if trying to make up her mind. The sticker fell off.

"Come here," Zhang Ruiyi said, grabbing Han Fei's hand. "I'll show you something."

They walked down the steps, through the crowd, along the sidewalk, and then climbed the Wai Pak To Bridge, which connects the HP and HK districts, stopping right in the middle.

"Look," Zhang Ruiyi said, "isn't it beautiful?"

They watched the bustling traffic drive towards them from Zhongshan East Road, then disappear into the distance. The river shimmered under the lights. Across the river lay the rising Pudong. The Oriental Pearl Tower stood tall in the heart of Lujiazui. The Jin Mao Tower, recently completed, gleamed golden in the night. In the distance, vast construction sites stretched out, the lights of tower cranes twinkling like stars. The sounds of engines, horns, the roar of the river, and the city's own breath mingled with the howling river wind, assaulting their senses.

"They look like veins, like the blood flowing through this city, right?" Zhang Ruiyi leaned forward on the railing. "Do you know what's strange? Sometimes I see news reports about how in many parts of the world, people will hurt others, even kill, for the smallest things. But standing here, surrounded by people, I don't know a single one of them, yet I feel incredibly safe. Isn't that strange?"

Han Fei turned to look at her. The river breeze ruffled her hair, and her face was illuminated by the neon lights of distant buildings and the headlights of nearby cars.

"If I could choose," she said, "I would want to live in a city like this for the rest of my life, and come here at least once a week, just to stand here and look around."

"Look at the traffic? Or look at the other side of the river?" Han Fei asked.

"Look, I love this flow, this never-ending energy," Zhang Ruiyi suddenly turned to him, her eyes sparkling. "Don't you love it?"

Han Fei nodded: "I like to see this kind of change, to see how the two banks of a river can become two different worlds in just over a decade."

"Think about those who live in particularly remote and quiet places," Zhang Ruiyi said. "Think about how much they've missed out on? Living in those places, unable to be surrounded by such crowds, never experiencing that kind of energy where even the air vibrates..."

She grabbed Han Fei's hand and held it up: "Can you feel it? That vibration? It's not a sound, it's... it's like everyone's thoughts, busyness, desires, and lives are all mixed in with the air. My dad always says I'm daydreaming, but I think that if one day you feel like you can't go on anymore, just go to a place like this, open your arms, and it's like you can absorb some strength from this noise. Really!"

Her eyes were shining, her whole face was glowing.

She placed Han Fei's hand on her cheek: "I feel something incredibly stable about you, like the eye of a storm. I can sense that you will go very far, much farther than many people I've ever met."

"Thank you," Han Fei said, feeling her skin burning under his palm. "I believe you. Your words will definitely bring me good luck."

Zhang Ruiyi nodded: "Yes, I hope we can always look at this scenery, just like we can always live and watch it change."

Han Fei blinked, realizing that he had already captured the moment in his mind: pedestrians hurrying to and fro on the Waibaidu Bridge, and a sea serpent shimmering on the ground, just like taking a picture when you know you won't be staying in a place for long.

Just then, he felt a drop of water on his face. Then another. He looked up in surprise.

"Did the weather forecast say it would rain today?" Han Fei asked.

"The plum rain season is over," Zhang Ruiyi said, turning her face to the sky. "This is a belated gift; it'll be pouring down soon. Let's go..."

Han Fei took Zhang Ruiyi home. It was not yet 9 o'clock when he got back to his own home, but he immediately fell asleep. Now his nerves were not so tense. The survival of the publishing house, the construction of the website, his father's illness... these heavy stones weighing on his heart seemed to have been temporarily washed away by the rain into a corner of his consciousness, leaving a brief gap.

For the first time in a long time, he didn't dream, and his breathing was steady and long.