Which way to go is the road?

The rain outside was falling slowly and steadily. The raindrops hit the leaves of the old elm tree, and before they could stop, they rolled off the leaves and sank into the puddles on the ground, making a soft, steady, and unhurried sound.

The boundless night stretched from the simple farmhouse to the vast plains and fields, obscuring all beauty and concealing the many bitterness, sorrows, and griefs.

Twenty-three-year-old Xiang Fei stood by the window, his gaze fixed on a jujube tree. Dew-laden green jujubes hung among the lush foliage, their color particularly bright and inviting under the indoor light. However, these jujubes were inedible at this stage, possessing only a bland, astringent taste. They would need two more months of weathering before turning red, purple, and ripening.

In the countryside, jujube trees are considered "childbearing trees." When the jujubes are slightly sweet, children often climb the trees with sticks and make a ruckus. Only after several serious scoldings from adults do they disperse, but the commotion never stops, and the children keep coming back. By the time the jujubes turn red and purple, there are only a few left on the tree.

Thinking back to his childhood, when he and his friends would sneak peeks from each other's houses to steal dates, Xiang Fei couldn't help but smile—the only smile he had that day. Worries and anxieties aren't innate; they always come with growing up. His childhood friends had all grown into young men, busy with their own lives all over the country, while he remained at home, obedient to his parents and dependent on them for support.

Anxiety gripped Xiang Fei's heart, causing him a sharp pain in his chest. He closed his eyes, pondering his next move—after all, this was his third time failing the college entrance exam!

When the college entrance exam scores came out, Xiang Fei wasn't as upset as he had been the previous two times after learning he had failed. He, who had never believed in fate, now had to accept it. His subject imbalances were too severe; even after repeating the year twice, his math and English scores were still abysmal. He did score an astonishing 141 in Chinese, but what good was that? His total score was only 434.

He smiled bitterly, feeling helpless. He was good enough to go to a vocational college, but his pitiful pride would never allow it.

Xiang Fei was not particularly handsome; he had high cheekbones, a flat nose, and small eyes.

Logically speaking, such a combination of facial features should make him incredibly ugly, but just as carbon atoms combined together not only produce black charcoal but also diamonds, Xiang Fei's appearance, while not exactly handsome, is still quite pleasing to the eye.

Speaking of natural talent, Xiang Fei wasn't particularly outstanding, but he loved to think and studied diligently. With the perseverance of a slow bird starting early, he consistently ranked among the top students in his class from elementary to middle school. However, since entering high school, with a broader perspective and more exposure to new things, Xiang Fei developed his first truly meaningful hobby—reading.

This wasn't fashionable, because most middle school students at the time were obsessed with online games. Perhaps it was due to family limitations, or perhaps Xiang Fei's old-fashioned personality was more suited to this old-fashioned hobby. In any case, Xiang Fei developed a love for reading, especially all kinds of novels—martial arts, romance, science fiction, horror... He wouldn't let go of any book he could buy or borrow.

Occasionally, he would try to write some wildly imaginative martial arts chapters. When his crooked handwriting was passed around among his classmates, he felt particularly satisfied, indulging in his unrealistic dream of becoming a writer.

The three years of high school are long, a full 1095 days. Day by day, the college entrance exam always seems so far away. But when you enter your senior year, you realize it's also short, with a 365-day countdown pushing you forward. Xiang Fei suddenly realized the importance of the college entrance exam, and almost simultaneously discovered that there wasn't enough time, and he couldn't muster any interest in subjects other than Chinese.

Unsurprisingly, he failed the college entrance examination a year later.

I continued to repeat the year, forcing myself to make every effort, sleeping less and less each day, yet my learning results were far less effective. The only thing keeping pace with my efforts was the ever-increasing pressure. Various problems arose during my studies and during the college entrance exam itself, ultimately leading to two consecutive failures in my attempts to repeat the year! ...

The nights in the countryside are quiet, perfect for sleep and even more so for contemplation, free from unexpected disturbances and temptations. A few distant barks and the sound of rain in the courtyard do not disturb the tranquility, but simply allow sleep and thought to maintain their natural rhythm. Xiang Fei cherishes this serenity. Countless nights before were spent studying, reading, thinking, and daydreaming; at this age, this quiet night is all he truly belongs to.

Xiang Fei smiled bitterly, recalling his aunt's visit that afternoon to find him a wife.

In the sweltering afternoon, my eldest aunt arrived. She and my mother, Zhang Xiu'e, sat on small stools, fanning themselves with palm-leaf fans and discussing serious matters.

"How did Feifei do on her exam this time? Will she be able to go to university?"

Zhang Xiue then told her aunt about the exam in detail.

"It's better if you don't pass the exam. You can have your grandchildren sooner. If you do pass, you'll have to study for four more years, which will cost a lot of money. Besides, you'll be 26 when you graduate, and you'll still have to find a job and earn money to get married. It's even harder to get a wife in the city."

"That's true, but I'd rather he could pass the exam and leave. Young birds have to leave the nest eventually; they can fly as far as they want, I won't stop them. But if he can't pass the exam, then we'll just have to figure out how to make it work!"

"In our rural area, it's hard for girls and boys to find a partner after 25. Feifei is already 22, which is the perfect time for him to date. Old Li's family in our village has a girl who is Feifei's classmate. She seems to have a crush on Feifei. You see..."

"I'll mention it to Feifei, but he just failed his college entrance exam, so he probably isn't in the mood."

"Marriage isn't something you can choose to have; it's about whether you'll meet the right person. If you're already interested, you might not even meet the right person. Why don't you call Feifei out, and I'll talk to him?"

"Don't worry, sister. I'll talk to him myself and get back to you later."

……

Not long after her aunt left, Zhang Xiue told her son Xiang Fei about it.

Xiang Fei suddenly felt a sense of fear, an unprecedented panic—was he going to get married as soon as he stopped going to school? What could he do after marriage? A wife, children, and a warm bed? Before, when reading Lu Xun's "My Old Home," Xiang Fei saw Runtu transform from a vibrant young man into a decrepit middle-aged man, and he was always angry at his lack of ambition and saddened by his misfortune. Now, he suddenly felt that a middle-aged Runtu was beckoning to him. If that were the case, he would rather never get married.

Xiang Fei's mother, Zhang Xiu'e, didn't make things difficult for him. Instead, she said some comforting words and even made his favorite steamed buns that evening! But how many times could his mother protect him? In the countryside, what else could he do if he didn't get married and have children?

Xiang Fei felt a sense of suffocation, so he opened the window to let the raindrops in and enjoyed the refreshing coolness. "Yes, it's stuffy at home. Why don't I go out and see the world, and find my place in life?"

Just as I was thinking this, the door was pushed open and Zhang Xiue walked in.

"Aren't you going to sleep yet?"

"I'll go to sleep soon, Mom. You go to sleep first. Don't worry, if I don't do well on the college entrance exam, I'll find other ways. I won't do anything rash."

"Hmm! There's no rush to find a partner. I'll tell your aunt later that we'll talk about it later."

As she spoke, Zhang Xiue picked up her coat from the chair, draped it over her son's shoulders, opened the door, and went out again.

Watching his mother's retreating figure as she crossed the threshold, Xiang Fei's tears flowed involuntarily. In recent years, many young men have dropped out of school before finishing junior high to work. In rural areas, this is a crucial hurdle for teenagers, and parents at this stage begin to grit their teeth and save money to prepare for their sons' weddings. Of course, it's best if their sons can help earn money, so when these teenagers express a desire to quit school, many parents agree without hesitation.

Back then, dropping out of school almost became a fashion, a trend. Yesterday, classmates would attend class together, but today they would move their desks away, leaving empty seats. Many parents, regardless of their children's academic performance, would even persuade their children to drop out of school.

Everyone thought that not only was it difficult to get into university, but even if you got in, it wasn't necessarily a good future. After all, the country had already abolished job assignments after graduation. However, his mother, Zhang Xiu'e, supported him without hesitation, unwilling to let farm work interfere with his studies.

As a result of Xiang Fei's own lack of ambition, his dream of going to university became a joke.

Xiang Fei could almost hear the gossip in the village, see the pointing fingers behind his mother's back, and know how much resentment and grievance his future rural life would be filled with. It was as if it wasn't that he hadn't gotten into university, but that university had abandoned him. He wanted to curse, he wanted to fight, but who could he possibly fight back against? He closed his eyes, furrowed his brow, and bit his lower lip until it bled. As the salty taste filled his mouth, tears streamed down his cheeks.

Fate seems to favor obedient children, while trying every means to trap restless young people who want to make a change. But since they are restless, how can they be willing to be trapped? So they break out of the encirclement, rush out with amazing courage, and head towards the mysterious unknown.