Which way to go is the road?

As night faded with the morning breeze, the outline of the small village became clear.

As the rooster crowed, smoke rose from the chimneys of every household, and flocks of sparrows swam about in the air, sometimes perching on the power lines, sometimes landing on the trees in the yard, chirping incessantly.

Xiang Fei was awakened by a flock of sparrows that landed in the yard. When he opened his eyes, he instinctively covered them, but found that there were no glaring lights or the damp, dark basement.

I tucked the blanket in and closed my eyes again. I was no longer sleepy, but I still craved the warmth and dryness of the blanket.

However, once you develop the habit of waking up early, it becomes difficult to stay in bed fully conscious.

Xiang Fei stretched his hands out of the blanket, put them under his head, and stared blankly at the roof beam. Hearing his parents talking, he found his clothes, put them on, and got up to go to the yard.

More than half a year has passed, and nothing has changed in the yard except that a pomegranate tree has been planted below the steps of the north house, while the elm and jujube trees still stand in their old places, guarding the family's peaceful life and their sorrows of separation. The old yellow ox in the cowshed mooed for no reason, as if greeting its long-lost young master.

"Why didn't you sleep a little longer? There's nothing to do if you get up!" The mother scolded her son for getting up so early, worried that he hadn't rested well.

"I can't sleep! Mom, I'm going out for a walk, I'll be right back!"

Xiang Fei walked out of the house without waiting for a reply. He ran into his father, Xiang Yusheng, in the alley. Xiang Yusheng was pushing a cart of firewood back. Xiang Fei quickly opened the gate and helped his father pull the cart. Otherwise, it would have taken a lot of effort to get up the small slope in front of the gate.

"Let's eat! Where to?" Xiang Yusheng brushed the dust off his clothes.

"I haven't been back for more than half a year, I'm going out for a walk! I won't go far, I'll be back in a bit!" Xiang Fei walked around a cart of firewood and headed straight north of the village.

There was a pond in the north of the village. When I was a child, it was always filled with water. Willow and poplar trees were planted on the banks. It was a paradise where Xiang Fei and his friends would swim, climb trees, raid bird nests, and play all sorts of games.

Later, Xiang Fei grew up, and the weather became drier, with the pond drying up year-round. He still came, sometimes with a book, sometimes nothing at all, wandering alone in the woods. Sometimes he would think about something, sometimes he wouldn't, just coming here to feel the breeze.

Occasionally, a human bone would be kicked out of the soft soil of the pond, bringing a sense of fear and curiosity about death. More often than not, he wouldn't encounter such horrifying things, but would simply let the biting wind, the dry leaves, the coolness of the pond, and the tender green buds—these tactile sensations of the four seasons—provide their existence.

The troubles and hopes of youth are deeply buried here, so whenever he has time, Xiang Fei always comes to pay his respects and reminisce about the past.

I'm back here again. Not a single poplar or willow tree is missing, and I can even see the character "飞" (fei, meaning "fly") that I carved with a pencil sharpener when I was a child.

Xiang Fei discovered that his state of mind and emotions were different this time when he came here.

Before, as a student, I was inexperienced in the ways of the world. I could only think in vain, endlessly pondering without any concrete events to consider. Thinking and thinking yielded no results, only adding to my troubles, or even "forcing myself to write new poems to express my sorrow!"

This time, at least he knows what he's worried about! A loan of ten thousand yuan, his unpredictable relationship with Bai Xue, plans for the future... there are many things to worry about, but he has to solve them step by step. Before things become clear, or rather, until that stage is reached, people are helpless. "There's always a way out" is the saying that applies to this.

Thinking leads to melancholy, which in turn inevitably brings anxiety. Excessive anxiety is undesirable; worrying unnecessarily will leave one exhausted and unable to move an inch. However, thinking is a valuable human quality. How can we think appropriately without anxiety? One could remain detached, thinking from the perspective of someone involved yet with the attitude of an observer—objective without falling into anxiety. But who can do that? At least Xiang Fei couldn't; he's too young!

Compared to the city, the village's simple, natural environment has both psychological advantages and economic disadvantages. The psychological advantages are invisible and intangible, making the economic disadvantages more prominent and noticeable, which is what troubles Xiang Fei.

Bai Xue's parents were both working, so even in remote Inner Mongolia, their living conditions wouldn't be too bad. Xiang Fei didn't compare the differences between the two families; just comparing an ordinary family in Yandu City with his own was like comparing heaven and earth.

The vast gap between them made Xiang Fei feel uneasy. Even though his love with Bai Xue was sweet, it felt as ethereal as a fairy tale, as fragile as a crystal ball. He could only carefully cherish this relationship.

Yet, he still couldn't convince himself rationally, and after much deliberation, he fell into a deep, fateful anxiety.

"Brother! Dinner's ready!" Xiang Mei shouted loudly from afar.

"Okay, you can go back now! I'll be off!"

As Xiang Fei pondered the problem, his foot unconsciously swung and ended up deeply buried in a pile of withered leaves. He pulled himself out of the leaves, stomped off the fallen leaves and dust, and turned to walk home.

Xiang Fei's family lives in the heart of the North China Plain, where noodles are the staple food. So, the New Year's goods they prepare are all kinds of noodles—lotus root sandwiches, vegetable balls, fried fish slices, etc. They eat dumplings for every meal until the second day of the Lunar New Year, and then they start eating all kinds of New Year's goods from the third day onwards. Only after these New Year's goods are finished can they have other fresh food.

Currently, Xiang Fei's family is eating the food they prepared before the New Year: lotus root sandwiches and vegetable balls topped with meat gravy, which are both soft and chewy, as well as sweet and delicious. Paired with golden and sweet corn porridge, how can anyone not have a big appetite?

In the city, after dinner, people usually lie on the sofa and watch TV during the Chinese New Year.

In the countryside, the New Year is different. After dinner, people visit each other's homes. With their round bellies, they look at this house and that house. If they like to play cards or mahjong, their goals are more specific. They call out to Zhang San in front and Li Si in the back, and when they get to Wang Mazi's house, they set up the table and start building the Great Wall!

Whether you're out having fun or shopping, wander around until noon, then come back for lunch!

Xiang Fei returned late. Many of his former playmates had already gone out to work. Several classmates who had been admitted to university were at home, but Xiang Fei felt awkward and didn't want to go.

Finally, he arrived at his uncle's house. His cousin, Xiang Qiang, was there. Xiang Qiang was a year older than him, and the two should have some common topics to talk about.

Upon entering, I found the old man dressed in new clothes, sitting on the threshold smoking a pipe.

"Grandpa, is Brother Qiang home?"

The old man tapped his cigarette holder on the doorstep. "I'm here, changing clothes! Going on a blind date later?"

"A blind date? When are you leaving?"

"I'll leave as soon as I'm dressed. We've agreed to meet at the old temple at 9 o'clock! Feifei, could you go and urge him? He's still not done changing!"

Xiang Fei walked into the inner room and saw Xiang Qiang, dressed in a suit and shiny leather shoes, haphazardly trying on a tie around his neck, but no matter how he bent it, it didn't look right. When he saw Xiang Fei come in, he quickly asked for help.

"You've lived in a big city before, do you know how to tie a tie? Help me out, this thing is so hard!"

Seeing his cousin's pained expression, Xiang Fei's face fell even more: "No way! I've never worn this suit before, and nobody's ever taught me how to tie a tie!"

"Then you went to the big city for nothing? What are we going to do? The girl is waiting for us!"

Xiang Fei tapped his head, his eyes lighting up: "I've noticed that people in the city rarely wear ties with their suits, except for weddings. You shouldn't wear one either!"

"real?"

"I'd be a dog to lie to you! People say it's fashionable; wearing a tie would just look tacky!"

Xiang Qiang threw down his tie, completely free: "Now that you mention it, it makes sense. Damn it, I'm not wearing a tie anymore!"