Back to my 1980s

The east wing of the Zhao family courtyard.

After washing up, Zhao Hua lay on the bed, tugging at a few thick, coarse stubble hairs that had just sprouted on his chin.

I plucked one off and examined it closely by candlelight, a sense of accomplishment welling up inside me. After flicking it away, I continued my battle with the next one.

My thoughts wandered aimlessly: the economy cigarettes taste so bad, I feel like I could quit smoking altogether if I kept smoking them all this time, since I don't have internet or a phone.

In later generations, people can watch videos, movies, and TV series at night, and if they get tired of that, they can go out for a walk.

Green belts, brightly lit streets, and bustling commercial districts are everywhere, but the hustle and bustle feels like a world apart from mine, and I feel completely out of place.

The longer I stayed away from home, the more often I found my hometown village appearing in my dreams.

The next day, at the crack of dawn, Zhao Hua gently knocked on Zhao Ru's door. After receiving a response from inside, he turned to pack his tools.

Just as things were tidied up, Zhao Ru came out rubbing her eyes, her little face still showing signs of sleepiness.

Seeing her sleepy-eyed appearance, Zhao Hua softened his tone and pointed to the stove: "Let's pack a few cornbreads today. We won't go home for lunch. It's too much trouble and a waste of time to go back and forth."

Zhao Ru nodded and replied crisply, "Okay, brother."

They were busy from the first light of dawn until the sun began to set.

The brother and sister came out of the dock with thirteen yuan in their pockets from selling fish that day. The amount was about the same as yesterday, and as usual, they had already given the change to their little helper, Zhao Ru.

Five or six days passed uneventfully. Zhao Hua and Zhao Ru continued to leave early and return late, and Zhao Hua gradually saved up a considerable amount of money.

Until the middle of the night, Zhao Hua quietly got up again, touched his shorts, and felt a mix of amusement and exasperation. He couldn't help but sigh inwardly, "Youth is truly wonderful..."

He muttered under his breath, "Damn it, I'm not doing any work today, I'm going to find my wife!"

When it got light, he told Zhao Ru that he had something to do that day and wouldn't be going fishing.

Zhao Ru was a little disappointed upon hearing this, as she had saved up quite a bit of money these past few days! Following behind Zhao Hua, she asked why they weren't going today, since it would be so much better to earn so much in a day.

Zhao Hua waved his hand impatiently, saying he had something to do, and shooed Zhao Ru away like a fly. Last night, his mind was full of his wife's image. At this moment, his younger sister was not as important as his wife. He quickly finished his breakfast, told his mother that he was going out, grabbed some money, and went to the roadside to wait for the bus.

It's more than 30 miles from Shuanghuai Village to his wife's house. Zhao Hua sat on the bus, clutching the money in his pocket tightly.

The bumpy ride was so bad it felt like my bones were going to fall apart. I couldn't help but wonder how my mother managed to find me a wife from so far away.

Zhao Hua was exhausted from catching the bus, and the bumpy ride left him feeling mentally and physically drained. He then transferred buses at the county station.

Many fashionable young men, wearing military-style jackets with the zippers only zipped up to their chests, gathered in small groups, chatting and laughing.

Zhao Hua's friends are all people of similar age from the vicinity of Shuanghuai Village. Although he spends his days playing with cats and dogs, he has rarely come to the county and doesn't know many of these people.

These thugs in the county either have some connections, with relatives working in the commune or the police station, or they are tough guys who have been exiled from labor camps; otherwise, they wouldn't be able to establish a foothold at the train station.

Zhao Hua would avoid them whenever he saw them; although he wasn't afraid, there was no need for him to provoke them.

These days, the death of a person is no different from the death of a cat or dog. As long as you are not caught on the spot, you can quietly run away and hide for a while, and it will be very difficult to find you.

Moreover, the petty thugs at the station have plenty of free time and don't want to do any proper work. Getting involved with them is like getting dog poop; even if you wipe it clean, a stench still lingers.

In the past, I would have had time to hang out with my friends, but now I'm only focused on making money, so I don't have time to waste on them.

As for befriending these people, becoming confidants after a few words, having their arrogant aura dissipate and having them bow down in submission—don't even think about it. Who likes strangers talking nonsense in front of them? Just go to sleep...

Zhao Hua could only drift aimlessly. In his previous life, he was ignorant and fearless, running around with a group of friends, thinking that he was second only to the heavens.

The reason I can't find peace of mind in this life is because I know too much.

No wonder they say ignorance is bliss; the ignorant are fearless and don't think too much.

Zhao Hua was overjoyed to catch a bus heading in that direction because his wife's village was closer to the county town and there were more buses.

I'm torn between buying things and heading straight to my future father-in-law's house, or sneaking a peek first. I'm filled with anxiety and uncertainty.

Soon the carriage was packed to the brim, with many people standing in the aisle and even crowding around the engine bulge next to the driver, making Zhao Hua's heart pound with fear.

These days, it's really hard to be a driver without some real skills. There are no traffic police checking in the countryside, so you can take as many people as you can.

When they finally arrived at their destination, Zhao Hua hadn't even had a chance to call for the bus to stop when people started getting on. The bus stopped in place, and Zhao Hua tried desperately to squeeze off, almost getting swept back by the flow of people getting on.

There's no such thing as letting people off first and then getting on. Everyone's afraid of not getting on and having to wait for the next one. There aren't that many trips a day anyway.

After getting off the bus, I looked around. I had been here a few times before, but decades had passed, and it looked a little different from what I remembered.

Although her father-in-law's family didn't really like her, they were worried about her going back to her parents' home alone, since it was such a long way to deliver New Year's gifts.

She also has an older brother who is just like her. He is the only male in their family, and the elders in the family are counting on him to carry on the family line, so they protect him like the apple of their eye.

Although they were birds of a feather, they weren't very close. Perhaps it was because his sister had a hard time after marrying him.

It's also possible that the local thugs on the outskirts of the county look down on him, a thug from the countryside...

I stomped my slightly numb feet and hesitated for a while at the village entrance. I was about to see my young wife whom I hadn't seen for decades, but we were originally going to meet through a blind date. Now I didn't recognize her at all and didn't know how to start a conversation. I felt so stressed.

"Hey, young man, where are you from?"

Zhao Hua turned his head and saw an old man standing next to him, looking him up and down. "Oh, grandpa, I have an elementary school classmate named Liu Dezhu. He was the class monitor, and I was the vice class monitor. We were very close friends."

He paused for a moment, then continued, "But later my grandfather was transferred to Shuanghuai. He was in such a hurry before he left that he didn't leave any message. All I know is that he's from our village. I dreamt about my old classmate last night, and I've been thinking about him, so I came here today to look for him."

Zhao Hua was betting that the old man didn't know all the children in the village, so he couldn't very well say he was there to pick up girls...

The old man didn't think Zhao Hua looked like a bookworm at all, but since he heard that Zhao Hua was the son of a cadre, he didn't suspect anything: "Liu Dezhu? Never heard of him. I almost misunderstood you after seeing you standing here for so long. Why don't you come with me? I'll take you to ask my old buddies. Maybe they'll remember you."

Zhao Hua was secretly overjoyed. He was just wondering how to sneak in, so he quickly offered the old man a cigarette and followed behind him to get closer to him. Originally, the old man had a face full of wrinkles, was dark and thin, and was at most an ordinary old farmer. But now, seeing his good character, he decided to immediately call him a kind-hearted philanthropist.