Cangmang Asks the Way 1: Guardian of the Lamp

The commotion finally subsided, and when Cang Liuqing returned to her parents' house with her family of three, the charcoal fire in the hearth of the main room was burning brightly, making the whole room warm and cozy. On the table in the kitchen next door, bowls and chopsticks were already set out.

Dinner was served at an old table set up between the hearth and the kitchen. Large bowls of stewed pork with vermicelli, glistening fried cured pork, homemade tofu, and freshly picked frost-kissed greens from the field... The food was simple in texture, yet it exuded a rich and enticing aroma.

Qin Siyuan had been listless the whole time and had little appetite for dinner. He barely managed to eat a few mouthfuls of rice and wouldn't touch the glistening cured pork. When Liu Wenxiu lovingly picked up a large piece of stewed pork and put it in his bowl, he almost jumped away as if he'd been electrocuted, and the piece of meat fell onto the table with a "thud."

"Siyuan!" Cang Liuqing scolded in a low voice, looking somewhat embarrassed. "How can you be so rude? Apologize to your grandmother right now!"

Qin Siyuan stiffened her neck, her little face scrunched up in discomfort, her voice trembling with tears and stubbornness: "It's greasy, it looks disgusting... I don't want to eat it. Grandma said it's unhygienic to use chopsticks that other people have used to pick up food..."

"You!" Cang Liuqing was furious, but looking at her son's pale face, she swallowed back her words of reproach. How could she not know that her child's problem was not just picky eating, but a comprehensive rejection of unfamiliar environments and unfamiliar foods, both physically and psychologically.

Qin Hao put down his chopsticks, his brow furrowing slightly. "Alright, Liu Qing, the child wasn't feeling well to begin with. He has a weak stomach and can't eat anything too greasy. He grew up in the city with a refined diet, so it's normal for him to have trouble adjusting to such heavy country food." He then turned to Liu Wenxiu, whose face was filled with embarrassment and concern, and explained, "Mom, don't take it to heart. The child is young and not used to it; it's not directed at you. When someone is unaccustomed to a new environment, it's especially dangerous to eat the wrong things."

"It's alright! It's alright!" Liu Wenxiu quickly put the piece of meat back into her bowl, as if that could erase the embarrassment from before. "Liu Qing, Qin Hao is right. Siyuan is too delicate; she hasn't experienced the comforts of our simple meals. It was Grandma's oversight." She forced a smile and said softly to Qin Siyuan, "Siyuan, be good. If you don't want to eat meat, then don't. Tell Grandma what you want to eat? How about some rice porridge? Grandma will cook it until it's very soft and add a little sugar?"

"Hmm..." Qin Siyuan responded softly, then buried her face in her mother's arms again.

Seeing this, Cang Yuanzhi laughed heartily, deliberately making his laughter loud to try and dispel the subtle tension at the dinner table: "Look at my grandson, so straightforward, just like his grandfather! If he doesn't want to eat, he just doesn't want to eat, fine! We won't force him. Liu Qing, quickly get the child a bowl of hot rice porridge to warm his stomach." He waved his chopsticks, beckoning to Qin Hao, "Qin Hao, don't just look, this cured meat is homemade, try it, it tastes different from the city stuff!"

Qin Hao politely picked up a small piece, put it in his mouth, and nodded: "Hmm, the taste is very unique, it has a smoky flavor."

The meal ended in an atmosphere that seemed warm but was actually filled with everyone's cautiousness. Cang Liuqing had no appetite. She noticed that her mother barely touched her chopsticks, only glancing at her grandson furtively. Her father, on the other hand, spoke loudly and chewed vigorously, as if trying to prove something with this "sweetness," or perhaps, simply to cover up some kind of silent loss.

Just as Cang Liuqing was about to get up to clear the dishes, a rough but warm hand gently pressed on her shoulder. Cang Yuanzhi, leaning on his cane, had somehow appeared behind her, his voice gentle yet firm: "Girl, sit down, talk to Qin Hao. You must be exhausted from the journey, rest well. Your father and mother will take care of these dishes." He then turned to Liu Wenxiu, who had been sitting quietly to the side, her gaze almost never leaving her daughter. "Wenxiu, don't just stare at your daughter, come on, lend a hand. Let the children relax a bit."

"Okay, okay." Liu Wenxiu quickly responded, and as she stood up, her sleeve inadvertently brushed against the corner of her eye.

She sat quietly beside Cang Yuanzhi, a gentle smile on her face. In the lamplight, she wore a clean, dark blue, diagonally-buttoned cotton-padded jacket, her hair neatly tied in a bun at the back of her head, with noticeable silver strands at her temples. The years had etched deep wrinkles on her delicate face, especially around her eyes and mouth—marks of years of toil and past hardships. Yet, her eyes remained clear and bright, carrying a calm and gentle quality born of experience, faintly revealing the beautiful features of her youth.

Cang Yuanzhi stood up, leaning on his cane, to clear the dishes. Liu Wenxiu smiled and said, "Old man, why don't you sit down and rest? I always hear you talking about Qing'er. Now that Qing'er is back, why don't you chat with her a bit more?"

"No rush, no rush. Our daughter, son-in-law, and grandson have all had a long day. Let them get some rest. Or, I'll clear the dishes while you take them to rest."

The sight of her parents' affection stirred ripples in Cang Liuqing's heart. Years ago, her mother, carrying her as a child, endured the stigma of being a "husband-killer" and the pressure of being coveted by all the single men in the village. It was her stepfather, Cang Yuanzhi, a man with a broken leg but an iron will, who resolutely tore off his badge, gave up his soon-to-be-secured position as the commune secretary, and used his carpenter's hands to give her and her mother a home to shelter them from the wind and rain.

He treated her like his own daughter, even resolutely choosing not to have any more children of his own, so that he could give her all his love and limited resources. Cang Liuqing still remembers the time when she was sick as a child, and her stepfather stayed by her side for three days and three nights, his eyes bloodshot from lack of sleep; she remembers him saving his food rations to buy her comic books, while he himself became swollen from hunger; she remembers his rough, clumsy hands braiding her hair, the braids crooked and uneven, yet his smile was so content… This father-daughter bond, stronger than blood, supported her through the years and brought her to where she is today. Between her mother and stepfather, there were no dramatic events, only this year-round mutual support; a single glance, a small gesture, conveyed their lifelong loyalty and deep love.

"Qing'er, what are you daydreaming about? Quickly bring Qin Hao and Siyuan with me, let's see if your room is tidied up to your liking." Liu Wenxiu's gentle voice woke her from her turbulent thoughts.

She rose, affectionately taking her mother's thin, withered arm, and together with Qin Hao, who was carrying Siyuan, they went to the room specially prepared for them. The room had clearly been carefully arranged: the bed was spacious, covered with old but clean, sun-dried bedding. A nearly new pink mosquito net was drawn up. The rustic dressing table was spotless. On the gleaming desk, there was even a small bottle of wintersweet, picked from the mountains and still blooming in the cold. Beside the desk, the tall bookshelf she knew so well, the one that had accompanied her through countless nights of studying, still stood there, crammed with the old books she had kept from back then.

The fire in the charcoal brazier burned quietly, its orange glow filling the room with warmth and tranquility. Outside the window lay a serene winter night in the countryside, the occasional bark of a dog drifting from afar, making the warmth inside, painstakingly created by her mother's hands, all the more real. The heating, bright lights, and all the conveniences of the apartment in the capital seemed distant and blurred at this moment. Cang Liuqing stroked the smooth wooden surface of the desk, her fingertips seemingly touching the youth she had spent there, studying diligently, carving her dreams into paper stroke by stroke. At this moment, all armor, all identity, all caution and weighing of options quietly shed themselves. She only wanted to curl up in this world protected by her parents, to be the little daughter who could be fully accepted and protected once more.

This tranquility and sentimentality didn't last long. The next morning, as dawn broke and the sporadic sounds of firecrackers in the distance hadn't completely subsided, Cang Liuqing and Qin Hao were awakened by their son's painful, indistinct groans. They found Qin Siyuan curled up under the thick blankets, breathing rapidly. His little face was unnaturally flushed in the morning light. He unconsciously clutched the blanket, pressing it against his stomach, and whimpered intermittently in his sleep, "Waaah... Mommy... It hurts... The house is shaking... I want to go home... I want to take the big airplane home to watch cartoons..."

"Siyuan!" Cang Liuqing's heart jumped into her throat instantly. She placed the back of her hand on her son's forehead, and the burning heat made her fingertips tremble.

"He has a fever! It must be from the journey, catching a chill, and the change in environment; his stomach can't handle it." Qin Hao sat up quickly, his voice low and tense... "He's so young, he's never experienced anything like this before, how can he adapt so quickly! We must see a doctor immediately, we can't delay..."

The child's illness, like a sharp whistle, instantly shattered the tranquility of the old house. Cang Yuanzhi and Liu Wenxiu practically ran into the house, and upon seeing their grandson's feverish, flushed face and pained expression, the two elderly people instantly lost all color in their own faces.

"Dad, Mom, is there a doctor in the village...?" Cang Liuqing held her son, her voice trembling slightly with anxiety.

"Yes, there is a barefoot doctor, right at the east end of the village! I'll go call him right now!" Liu Wenxiu said, turning around to rush out the door, not even having time to button up her cotton-padded coat.

"Wait!" Qin Hao suddenly interrupted, his tone resolute. "A barefoot doctor? No way! Mom, don't misunderstand, I'm not looking down on rural doctors. But Siyuan's symptoms are unclear right now—high fever accompanied by abdominal pain. What if it's appendicitis, acute intestinal obstruction, or a serious bacterial infection? Barefoot doctors don't have testing equipment; relying on experience to make a judgment is too risky! We can't afford the consequences if we prescribe the wrong medication or delay the best treatment time!"

Cang Yuanzhi slammed his cane on the ground in his anxiety, making a dull thud: "Then... what should we do? How about we go to the township clinic? At least it's a public hospital with qualified doctors, and it's much closer than the county town!"

"The township health center?" Qin Hao shook his head almost immediately, his anxiety deepening. "Dad, it's not even dawn yet. We can't be sure if anyone's on duty at the township health center. Even if they are, they definitely won't have a pediatric department or proper testing equipment. Siyuan has a high fever and abdominal pain, and the cause is unknown. We can't afford to waste precious time trying to get a diagnosis that's bound to be incomplete! We have to go straight to the county hospital! Only there are proper pediatric emergency rooms, laboratories, and possible hospitalization facilities! It's the only safe option!"

His words were urgent and resolute, each word like a cold stone, striking the glimmer of hope that had just risen in Cang Yuanzhi and Liu Wenxiu, and also striking the already taut heartstrings of Cang Liuqing.

"Qin Hao!" Cang Liuqing's mind was in turmoil. She understood her husband's worries perfectly well; the county hospital certainly offered more reassurance. But seeing the sudden dimming in her parents' eyes, her heart felt like it was being torn apart by two hands, the pain almost suffocating. "It'll take more than an hour to get to the county hospital. Let's go to the township clinic first… perhaps…"

"No maybes!" Qin Hao raised his voice, his tone resolute. "Liu Qing, this is a matter of principle! There can be no ambiguity or wishful thinking when it comes to our child! We must use the most reliable and standardized medical approach!" He seemed to realize his tone was too harsh, and gently grasped her arm, saying softly, "Liu Qing, you're the child's mother, and you're a sensible person! We can't afford to take any chances! Every minute is precious now; we must use the most reliable method! Going to the county hospital is the most responsible thing we can do for our son!"

He then turned to Cang Yuanzhi and Liu Wenxiu, his voice tinged with apology: "Dad, Mom, I'm sorry, I have to be responsible for Siyuan's health. Once the child's condition stabilizes, we'll go directly from the county to Beijing for recuperation. This time... I'm truly sorry, the original plan has to be canceled."

Cang Liuqing looked at her son, who was in agony in her arms, and then at her husband's unwavering, anxious gaze, her heart torn. She knew Qin Hao's worries were justified, but seeing her parents' eyes dim instantly, filled with loss and reluctance, her heart ached. "Dad, Mom," she said, her voice strained and filled with deep guilt, "Siyuan has a high fever, we need to get him to the county hospital right away." She avoided her parents' fleeting glances, "We...we might have to leave early. We were hoping to come home and spend a few days with you, but unexpectedly..."

Cang Yuanzhi sat there silently, his calloused hands gripping the end of his cane tightly, his empty trouser leg seemingly taut as well. After a long while, he finally raised his head and said in a somewhat commanding tone, "The child is the priority! Hurry up! Don't delay! Your parents are just... content that you can come back to see us. Be careful on the road!" He waved his hand forcefully, as if trying to drive away his daughter's worries, or perhaps to fight against the immense loss within himself.

Liu Wenxiu turned her back, her shoulders heaving violently as she tried to suppress her sobs.

Looking at her mother's frail figure, her father's forced composure and the deep sorrow hidden in his eyes, and at this old house that, though tidy, couldn't hide its poverty, and then thinking of the heating, clean bathroom, and convenient medical care in her apartment in Beijing... the long-suppressed thought in Cang Liuqing's heart burst forth like a flood: "Dad! Mom! Why don't you... come with us! Go to Beijing!"

As soon as she spoke, she saw the fleeting shock in her father's eyes and the sudden welling of tears in her mother's eyes, and her heart felt like it was being violently clenched. She knew it was almost impossible, but the thought was so strong—she wanted to make up for the years she had lost, and she wanted to protect her parents, who had weathered most of their lives, under the wings she had finally spread.

"Silly child!" Cang Yuanzhi immediately shook his head, his smile turning desolate yet resolute, like a rock in the storm. "Your father and mother aren't going anywhere! Our roots are here, our souls are here. This old house, these fields, and... your grandfather is here too. These old bones of ours can't live comfortably without this land; going there would only be a burden to you. You two take good care of yourselves, raise the children well, and do your jobs well—that's more important than anything else! Go now! Don't worry about us!"

"Listen to your father!" Liu Wenxiu's voice choked with sobs. "Qing'er, hurry up and get ready, take good care of the children! Mom... is getting ready for you right away!" She turned back to the stove, wiping away her tears as she meticulously folded the pancakes one by one, almost obsessively, and wiped the boiled eggs clean, as if this was the only way she could control at this moment, a way to pour out all her love and reluctance.

Cang Liuqing's tears finally rolled down her cheeks. She knew that any words would be pale and powerless at this moment. She took one last deep look at the old house—her father's empty trouser legs, her mother's glaring silver hair at her temples, her childhood award certificates on the wall, the flickering fire in the stove... as if she wanted to engrave all of this, along with the overwhelming helplessness and pain in her heart, into the deepest part of her memory.

Then, she suddenly raised her hand and fiercely wiped away the tears on her face with her sleeve, saying to Qin Hao, "Alright, pack your things." She turned around, no longer looking at her parents, and began mechanically packing her things, only occasionally letting out a rapid, uncontrollable gasp that betrayed the overwhelming emotions she was forcibly suppressing.