Dream of the Red Chamber: Starting with a Chronicle of Tragic Love

Chapter 22 Knocking on the River and Covering the Mountain

Jiao Si cleared his throat.

"The daughter grieves, for her husband is incompetent and cannot even produce a single awl."

This phrase is taken from a Buddhist verse by Zen Master Xiangyan: "Last year when we were poor, we still had a place to stand; this year when we are poor, we don't even have a place to stand." It means that the family is so poor that they don't even have a place to stand.

This passage is a profound and obscure classic. Apart from him, only Feng Ziying, who had studied books for a long time, thought to himself upon hearing this.

This kid who sells words actually has some real talent.

But Xue Pan clicked his tongue and nodded repeatedly.

"Xue Dashan, why are you nodding?"

Xue Pan asked curiously, "Why can't we order it? This kid makes a good point!"

"When men all become like cones, how can they not feel sad?"

Feng Ziying sighed and made up her mind not to say another word to him.

Jiao Si continued speaking.

"A daughter's sorrow, her beloved husband scattered, her hair turned white alone."

Xue Pan chuckled again, and was about to speak when Feng Ziying kicked him, causing him to swallow his words.

"My daughter rejoices, for the majestic Jade Mountain covers her body."

"The daughter is happy, her lips and tongues moving within the red silk curtains."

After Jiao Si finished reciting, Xue Pan lowered his head and pondered.

"Not bad, not bad... all that dawdling and mumbling, but you pass."

"But......"

Xue Pan suddenly smiled again.

"The following miscellaneous verses will be even more difficult. When you recite these verses, can you make Brother Feng think they sound like him, and make me, Xue Da, think they sound like me? Is that possible?"

Feng Ziying gritted her teeth in resentment.

"Master Xue, if you don't want to buy someone else's lyrics, just say so. Why make things difficult for them here?"

But Jiao Si waved his hand.

"It's alright, let me think about it some more."

His eyes darted around, scanning the dishes and utensils on the table, but none of them seemed suitable. Suddenly, his gaze fell on the girl at the table, and an idea struck him.

"Right side faces the river, left side faces the mountain."

"A red tassel lifts the jade railing."

"The general used rapid drumbeats to break through the enemy lines."

"The beauty's flute plays slowly."

Upon hearing this, Feng Ziying sighed and said, "Young brother, although you put a bit too much effort into your words, the language has a certain grandeur and magnificence. I, Feng, am naturally impressed."

Xue Pan caused trouble again.

"No, if I pass Brother Feng's test, what am I supposed to say here?"

"Besides, it was agreed beforehand that it would be something from the banquet, but your miscellaneous poem contains neither food nor wine vessel. How can anyone believe it?"

"How can there be no connection? The connection between these miscellaneous sentences is—"

As he spoke, Jiao Si mysteriously pointed to the prostitute next to Xue Pan.

"This is the young lady."

Feng Ziying frowned slightly, completely puzzled;

Xue Pan scratched his head vigorously, as if he had just realized something.

After a while, Xue Pan slapped his thigh and stood up.

"Brilliant!"

"Kid, Uncle Xue approves of you!"

Feng Ziying was completely bewildered.

What's wrong? This fool Xue can understand something, but I can't figure it out?

He looked at Xue Pan curiously, only to find that the other was also looking at him smugly.

"Brother Feng, don't you understand? Do you need me to explain it to you?"

After saying that, without waiting for Feng Ziying to speak, he directly helped up the prostitute next to him.

He chuckled a few times.

Extend your left hand, below.

The girl suddenly cried out "Ouch!" and blushed deeply.

This is called "knocking on the river".

Extend your right hand, on top.

The girl suddenly cried out "Oh dear!" and hugged herself tightly.

This is called "covering the mountain".

After saying that, Xue Pan scratched his head, gritted his teeth, and then reached for his belt.

"Wait a minute, there are a lot of people here, I'm being a bit too reserved."

"To properly present 'Red Tassel Breaks Jade,' 'General Carves Out the Formation,' and 'Beauty Sings Slowly,' we need to calm our minds a bit. Don't rush, don't rush!"

The prostitute blushed deeply with embarrassment.

Feng Ziying and Jiao Si were completely stunned.

With a loud thud, Feng Ziying slammed Xue Dalang back into his seat.

"Fool! Today, not only are there various high-ranking officials and nobles at Huai Shang Yun Lou, but also some of their female relatives. Be careful not to offend any of these ladies and ruin your business; your sister will curse you to death!"

"When that time comes, we'll seize your daily necessities, and let's see what you'll use to live a life of debauchery!"

For some reason, when his sister was mentioned, Xue Pan suddenly shivered and sat back down.

"No, no! It was just a joke!"

"Whatever happened today, you must not tell Chai Mei!"

Then the anxiety turned again.

"Brother Jiao, you're both vulgar and refined, quite an interesting fellow!"

"Now that you've passed our test, please take a seat! The ten thousand taels of silver will be delivered to your residence later. Today, at Huai Shang Yun Lou, we'll trouble you to put in your best effort and help us brothers get a kiss on Lady Liu's beautiful feet!"

"That's called 'a kiss on the lips'..." Feng Ziying sighed helplessly.

"It's not a big difference, it's not a big difference!"

"Mom, let's get another girl to keep my new buddy company for a few drinks! The expensive kind, please!"

-----------------

Jiao Si ultimately did not cause Xue Pan to spend any extra money.

Not just to save Xue Pan money, but also because of his strong sense of self-protection against poison...

It must be said that coming to a feudal society and being unable to experience the local customs and culture because of such a thing is truly a pity...

As he pondered, Jiao Si looked around at the sea of beautiful women, feeling a sense of powerlessness, like someone who was "lustful but lacked courage."

Unbeknownst to him, the girl with the zither beside him was looking at him with a strange expression.

This person... does have some ability.

He couldn't even get through the door a moment ago, but in no time, he was sitting at the same table as the son of the Divine Martial General and the eldest son of the Ziwei She family.

Moreover, seeing everyone else surrounded by beauties, while he alone stood by, he seemed somewhat "isolated from the world"...

Just as he was thinking this, Jiao Si suddenly noticed something unusual and looked at him.

Their eyes met, and a hint of panic flashed in the girl's eyes.

Her pretty face flushed slightly, and she quickly turned her head away.

Jiao Si found it amusing and was about to get up to tease it when he suddenly felt a dark shadow looming over him.

"Hey kid, disrupting the order of this grand event, how did you manage to sneak in again?"

"Guards! Where are the guards?"

"What, you took a kickback from this kid and then let him in?"

"How can someone who disregards the rules be expected to be a guard? I'd like to ask the owner of Huai Shang Yun Lou, where exactly are the rules?"

The guards were so embarrassed they didn't know what to do.

We can't exactly say that this kid is a brother of our "Erlang Society," can we?

Just kidding!

Just as he was feeling anxious, he suddenly saw an arm draped over his shoulder.

"Qian Shuileng, Brother Jiao is my good brother, we drink at the same table, pee in the same latrine, and even seduce girls in the same bed. Anyone who wants to bully him will have to ask me, Xue Da, first!"

"What, your Qian family wants to clash with my Xue family?"

With a gloomy expression, Qian Qianyi snorted coldly and took a step back.

The Xue family alone is already on par with the Qian family.

Moreover, the four families of Jia, Wang, Shi, and Xue never appear alone...

"You idiot, go ahead and be arrogant!"

"With those 'Three Peerless Techniques' by my side, no matter how much you try, you'll never be able to defeat me!"

"Just pray you're not grouped with me, the Cold-Hearted Young Master!"

Watching Qian Qianyi turn and leave, Xue Pan angrily spat.

"What the hell dares to mess with me!"

"Brother Jiao, it's up to you whether you can help me get revenge!"

Jiao Si nodded and looked at Feng Ziying.

"Brother Feng, my calligraphy is not very good, so I can only trouble you to write it for me."