Crazy Nezha

A dozen meters away, Yang Jian, clad in silver armor, landed on the beach, the aftershocks rippling across the sand.

Rings of air, carrying flying sand, swept over Li Tianbao's face, causing him to squint.

*Pfft—* Li Tianbao spat out a mouthful of sand and tentatively called out, "Erlang Shen?"

Yang Jian, with his back to him, stood tall and imposing, like a god of war. He slowly turned around and said in a deep voice, "Nezha, you're back."

Li Tianbao asked, "Is this a dream?"

Yang Jian: "This is the Land of Illusion."

At this moment, a golden-haired child came riding on the waves from afar, shouting, "Master! Taiyi Zhenren has investigated and confirmed that Nezha has been reincarnated as Li Tianbao."

Li Tianbao stood between the two men, looking left and right.

The two men were also sizing him up. Yang Jian pondered for a moment and said, "This man is Li Tianbao."

The golden retriever boy clasped his hands in a respectful gesture and said, "My apologies, my apologies."

Yang Jian then asked, "Where is Xiaotian?"

The golden-haired child reported, "Xiaotian has done as planned. He drank Shen Gongbao's medicinal wine and pretended to humiliate Manjushri Bodhisattva's mount. He was caught red-handed by the Tiger-Taming Arhat! He has been reported and is now being sent to the mortal realm to suffer the torments of reincarnation."

Yang Jian gazed at the distant sea and said, "It is truly difficult for Xiaotian to willingly shoulder this heavy responsibility and descend to the mortal realm."

Li Tianbao listened in utter astonishment.

The blond-haired child asked in confusion, "Master, why did Xiaotian volunteer for this important task? Some of the Arhats from the Western Sect said that when they discovered Xiaotian committing his evil deeds, he was excited and beaming with joy, and they couldn't pull him away. He even ruined the Nine-Colored Deer! He was serious!!"

Yang Jian explained, "Xiaotian was just putting on an act for the Westerners. It would be difficult for him to take the act seriously. I know Xiaotian. He is loyal and honest. He is definitely not a lustful dog. I think Xiaotian would also be a good dog with pure character in the mortal world."

The blond child hesitated for a moment, then gritted his teeth and said in a deep voice, "Master, there is one more thing. When Xiaotian was betrayed and banished to the mortal realm, he jumped off the Falling Immortal Platform with a smile on his face. He was very happy and even a little impatient."

Yang Jian was slightly annoyed: "Boy, Xiaotian endured humiliation and left with a maniacal laugh, all for the sake of those people at the South Gate. He fell into the mortal world to become Li Tianbao's guide, how can you be so jealous of him?"

The golden-haired child looked unconvinced and said, "This disciple feels that Xiaotian isn't acting. It's a pity that the shackles of Heaven's Dao from over 70 years ago shielded the mortal and immortal realms, so we can't see what's happening in the lower realm!!"

Li Tianbao waved his hand and shouted loudly, "Gentlemen, may I interrupt for a moment?"

Yang Jian said, "Li Tianbao, let me ask you, did you encounter Xiaotian in the mortal realm?"

Li Tianbao said, "Yes, Xiaotianquan was reincarnated as a husky. We are good brothers. He is now living at my second uncle's house."

Yang Jian then asked, "When Xiaotian was in the mortal realm, did he help you awaken your potential and assist you in cultivating the Twelve Lotus Golden Body?"

Li Tianbao nodded and said, "It was the Howling Celestial Dog that guided my cultivation, and there was also someone called Leopard Head, who was also banished to the mortal realm."

Yang Jian nodded and said, "I don't care about Leopard Head, but my dog... uh, Xiaotian, is he behaving properly in the mortal realm?"

After all, Xiaotianquan had been with Erlang Shen for many years and was the local tyrant of Guanjiang Estuary. Xiaotianquan's words and actions outside represented Guanjiang Estuary and him! After hearing what the golden-haired child said, Yang Jian was a little suspicious and wavered a little... After all, Erlang Shen was a man who cared a lot about his reputation!

Seeing that Li Tianbao remained silent, Yang Jian raised his voice: "Li Tianbao, has Xiaotian Dog ever done anything despicable or vile in the mortal realm?!"

Li Tianbao hesitated for a moment, as if weighing something.

The golden-haired toddler looked on expectantly, unconsciously leaning forward. He guessed right! He guessed right! He'd seen it coming when Xiaotian showed off before descending to the mortal realm; Xiaotian had been kept under his master's thumb for too long and was feeling stifled—deep down, he was a sly dog.

Yang Jian's face darkened, and he said seriously, "Li Tianbao, please speak freely. What kind of dog is Xiaotianquan?"

Li Tianbao said decisively, "Xiaotianquan is very sturdy. Not long ago, he and I bravely rescued a woman who had fallen into the water. He's a good dog."

Yang Jian then asked, "After Xiaotian descended to the mortal realm, with no one to restrain him, has he ever committed any lewd acts?"

Li Tianbao thought for a moment and said, "I have never had any affairs with women!"

The blond child quickly asked, "Have you ever insulted a cat? Or... a deer, a goose, or anything like that?"

Li Tianbao replied decisively, "No!"

"Mule, kangaroo, hippopotamus, skunk... have you ever had any?"

"Never!"

Yang Jian gave a light "hmm," quite satisfied. "I've said it before, Xiaotianquan is loyal and honest, a gentleman among dogs. I doubt he'd dare to act recklessly and ruin my reputation."

"Mmm, mmm, mmm," Li Tianbao nodded.

The golden-haired toddler said with a hint of sadness, "Could it be that I misunderstood Brother Xiaotian?"

Li Tianbao asked, "I want to know, why did I come here?"

Yang Jian sighed and said, "After the turmoil at the Peach Banquet, something happened in Heaven. We were relieved that you were back... Hmm?! Wait... You weren't finished with your sentence, how did you get back? Did you sneak back?!"

Li Tianbao asked, puzzled, "What's wrong?"

Yang Jian took a step forward, and the next moment his body appeared strangely in front of Li Tianbao. His three eyes lit up simultaneously, and after a moment he pondered, "Your magical power is unstable; how could you have come to the Illusionary Realm?"

Li Tianbao: "What the hell?"

Yang Jian said, "That shouldn't be the case. Your Undying Lotus Golden Body is incomplete and lacks a stamen. You didn't complete your cultivation? How did you return if you didn't complete it? This doesn't make sense!"

Li Tianbao bluntly stated, "It was a woman named Jiang Baiyue who hypnotized me, and she said it was all a dream!"

Yang Jian pondered, "This is bad, everything's in chaos! A mortal's spirit entering the immortal realm might bring divine punishment! This is bad, this is bad! You must go back and cultivate! Don't drag me down with you, let's go!"

"I can't get out!!" Li Tianbao was dumbfounded.

Yang Jian pondered for a moment: "We can't get out?"

Li Tianbao shouted, "My mortal body is still here! I can feel everything over there!"

"So miraculous?" Yang Jian looked doubtful. He reached out a hand and placed it on Li Tianbao's forehead, closing his eyes and remaining silent...

Li Tianbao: "What are you doing?"

Half an incense stick later, Yang Jian's expression was complicated. He released his hand, swept two fingers across the vertical eye in the middle, pinched out a ray of light, hesitated for a moment, and then placed it on Li Tianbao's brow.

"What is this?"

Yang Jian looked up at the sky, seemingly somewhat fearful, and whispered, "That day, the three of us broke the heavenly law together, and you took all the blame! I have to help you, I absolutely must help you! I'll break the heavenly law again for you!"

Li Tianbao touched his forehead, looking puzzled. "What was that light you just pressed on my head?"

Yang Jian spoke quickly, somewhat flustered, and said, "Use your mind to guide this talisman and press it on the Baihui acupoint of your dearest loved one!"

Li Tianbao was puzzled. "What do you mean? What will happen if my dearest loved one suffers from this curse?"

Yang Jian turned around, his expression showing some reluctance, but then he became resolute and said, "She will... get a good night's sleep, she'll be fine! And you, my comrade, you will possess the complete twelve lotus flowers!!"

Li Tianbao exclaimed with delight, "Great! I can finally have magical powers!"

"Wait a minute, what's the logic here? Why can I gain cultivation while my dearest loved one just sleeps? This doesn't make sense!"

Yang Jian fabricated a story: "This is a merit talisman. She's been good to you, so you owe her. After using the talisman, she'll sleep and her essence and marrow will be cleansed, which is a great thing. Only then will your merit be complete!"

Li Tianbao nodded. "That makes sense. Thank you, Second Master."

"Call me Second Brother."

"Second Brother."

Yang Jian said solemnly, "This is the Realm of Illusion, a bridge connecting the mortal and immortal realms. It's fortunate you haven't entered the immortal realm yet. I'll go ask your master. There's no time now, I must go!"

"I'll go with you!" Li Tianbao shouted!

"Your mortal spirit can't go! Besides, the monkey has already gone all in, Third Brother, we're all counting on you!"

"No, can you explain yourself clearly? I don't understand at all! What exactly happened?"

"I'll go ask at the Golden Light Cave, and we'll talk about it later!" In an instant, Yang Jian soared into the sky, with the golden-haired child following closely behind, shouting, "Wait for me, Master!"

Yang Jian's voice echoed from the sky: "After your spirit returns, tell Xiaotian everything that happened here. Listen to Xiaotian; you must unconditionally trust him... Remember, this talisman can only be used once! Xiaotian will tell you how to use it!"

"I can't fucking go back!!"

"I'll help you!"

"Thanks……"

At that moment, a three-pointed, double-edged sword came flying through the air, pinning Li Tianbao to the beach and leaving a pool of blood.

"Thank... damn it..." A sharp pain shot through my chest.

The scene before Li Tianbao's eyes began to distort. The sea, the beach, and the blue sky completely disappeared, replaced by the blurry face of a girl with a high ponytail. "Li Tianbao! Li Tianbao, wake up."

His vision blurred, then refocused and the image became clear. Li Tianbao saw Chen Rui shaking him.

Li Tianbao stared intently at Chen Rui.

"I'm fine now."

"You can see me now." Chen Rui smiled.

Li Tianbao tilted his head, stared blankly at the sky for a while, like a fool, and muttered to himself, "What on earth happened in Heaven?"

Yin Jianshe looked worried. "Nephew, what's wrong?"

The Celestial Hound looked nervous and shouted, "Third Master, Third Master, did you see Second Master? Did he ask me anything? What did you say about me?"

Li Tianbao patted Chen Rui's hand, forced a smile as if to comfort her, and said with a relaxed expression, "Chen Rui, I'm fine now, I'm out of the dream."

People from the Oriental Group surrounded them, and Attorney Yu said sarcastically, "Oh, so you know pretending to be sleepwalking won't work?"

Li Tianbao turned his head and saw a dozen or so people standing at the entrance of the courtyard, their attitudes extremely unfriendly.

Attorney Yu said, "Li Tianbao, are you going to get the test done yourself, or do we have to carry you there?"

Several men nearby rolled up their sleeves, ready to lift the person up.

Chen Rui roared like a lioness, "Who dares to touch him!"