From unemployment in crosstalk to top star in Chinese entertainment

Yu Liang stood up and made a "please" gesture: "Sister Sichun, it depends on how much dowry you give."

Ma Sichun angrily threw down her cue cards: "You're unemployed, and you're asking me for a dowry?!"

The entire audience burst into uncontrollable laughter.

---

Wang Churan was visibly nervous when she went on stage. She stood in front of the microphone and took a deep breath.

"Hi everyone, I'm Wang Churan. Before I came here today, my roommate asked me, 'Is it nervous for you to be on Roast Show for the first time?' I said it was okay."

She asked why? I said it was because Yu Liang was coming too.

She glanced at Yu Liang: "With him here, everyone's firepower will definitely be focused on him, so I'm safe."

The audience laughed.

"Actually, I haven't known Liang Ge for very long, but he left a very deep impression on me. Because when we first met, he said something to me that I still remember to this day."

The entire audience perked up their ears.

Wang Churan suppressed a laugh: "He said, 'Girl, your waist-to-hip ratio is perfect for flared pants.'"

Yu Liang slumped onto the table.

The whole audience burst into laughter.

From the audience, Ma Sichun shouted, "See? I told you he wasn't some serious fashion blogger!"

After a brief pause in their laughter, Wang Churan continued, "I was quite touched at the time, thinking this senior was really kind. But later I found out—"

"That's what made him famous."

"Give fashion advice to all the girls on Douyin."

She looked at Yu Liang, a smile in her eyes: "Brother Liang, I just want to ask, how many girls have you actually advised to wear mini-flare pants?"

Yu Liang raised his hand from below the stage: "You're the first one, really."

I don't believe it.

"Really. For everyone else, I recommend wide-leg pants."

"Because flared pants make it easier to fart too loudly."

Wang Churan was stunned.

The audience burst into laughter again.

---

Next up were Chi Zi and Jianguo.

The complaints mostly revolve around the "Crown Princess of Deyun Society," "Widow's Unemployment," and "Father of Pantyhose," endlessly lashing out at the past.

Yu Liang smiled throughout the entire beating.

Finally, it was his turn to go on stage.

He stood up, straightened his collar, and walked up slowly.

Stand still.

There was a three-second silence.

Then he opened his mouth:

"Hello everyone, this is Yu Liang. After listening to everyone's complaints, I only have one feeling—"

He paused.

"Now I finally understand why Deyun Society won't schedule performances for me."

"Because that's how I complained about my fellow apprentices backstage."

The audience was taken aback at first, then burst into the loudest laughter of the night.

Li Dan applauded from below the stage: "Great! Impromptu!"

After a brief pause in their laughter, Yu Liang continued, "When Professor Zhang Shaogang introduced me just now, he called me the 'Father of Underpants.'"

"Teacher Zhang, I really don't deserve this title. I'm just an unemployed crosstalk performer who casually left a comment; who knew it would go viral like this?"

"If I had that ability, I would have already secured a commercial performance for myself at Deyun Club."

The audience laughed.

"Besides, the title 'Father of Pantyhose' is too heavy. Think about it, what does 'father' mean? It means taking responsibility."

"If everyone online starts wearing pantyhose and something goes wrong, will they all come to me for help?"

"As an unemployed person, I can't even manage my own performances, how could I possibly care about the outfits of girls all over the internet?"

Ma Sichun laughed so hard she slapped her thigh.

Yu Liang looked at Li Dan: "Boss Dan just said that I don't focus on delivering punchlines, but instead spend all my time thinking about revealing my pants."

"Mr. Dan, I have to correct you."

"I'm thinking about both delivering the punchline and revealing my true colors."

He made a shaking motion.

"Because these two things have one thing in common—they both rely on the waist."

Li Dan laughed so hard he slid off the chair.

Yu Liang continued, "And Li Dan said he wants to switch to being a fashion blogger, I advise you to think carefully. Not because you're not good-looking, but because—"

He took a serious look at Li Dan's bald head.

"The most important thing for fashion bloggers is to have a lot of hair so they can change their hairstyles easily. Your head... tsk, it's like a machine gun."

Li Dan: "?"

Yu Liang: "Babalubalubalu..."

The whole audience burst into laughter.

Li Dan: "Phonetic puns will get you fined!"

Chi Zi shouted from below the stage, "Wow! That was a really good punchline!"

Yu Liang turned to Ma Sichun: "Sichun, you just asked me if it's too indecisive of me to just do whatever netizens tell me to do."

"Sister Sichun, I need to explain. What I'm doing isn't lacking in opinion, it's called 'listening to advice.' Listening to advice is a virtue, you know?"

"Besides, I don't listen to everything. When netizens asked me to marry you, I didn't agree."

Ma Sichun shouted from below the stage, "Say that again?!"

Yu Liang quickly said, "No, what I mean is—I need to ask how much the bride price is first. After all, I'm a widow and unemployed, so I need to be careful with my money."

The whole audience burst into laughter.

Finally, Yu Liang looked at Wang Churan.

"Chu Ran just said that my outfit suggestion for her was flared pants. This girl has a really good memory; she even remembered that."

He smiled.

"But Chu Ran, have you ever thought about this—I said you look good in flared pants because your proportions are indeed good, that's the truth. But more importantly—"

He paused, and his tone suddenly became serious.

"I was on set at the time, and I saw you, a student from the Shanghai Theatre Academy, sitting in a corner watching your seniors act even when you weren't filming."

"Everyone else went to lunch, but you were still practicing your expressions in front of the mirror."

In fact, this passage is not only about Wang Churan, but also about himself in his previous life.

Wang Churan was stunned.

"I thought to myself, this girl is going to be famous. That's why I took the opportunity to talk to you and give you some fashion advice."

He paused, then his tone suddenly became more relaxed.

"Of course, there's another reason."

"Flare pants do make legs look longer."

The entire room fell silent for a second, then erupted in applause.

Wang Churan's eyes reddened, and she clapped vigorously.

Yu Liang shrugged, his playful smile returning: "Of course, if you insist that I only approached you because of your waist-to-hip ratio, there's nothing I can do. After all—"

He shrugged.

"You all just said it, I'm just a superficial fashion blogger."

The audience laughed.

His tone changed, and his smile faded.

"Actually, Chi Zi is right. People basically only know me in two ways—as Guo Qilin's former partner and the 'father of underwear'."

"Sometimes I wonder, if I hadn't become popular on Douyin, would you still have invited me?"

He looked around; the audience was completely silent.

"So I'm especially grateful to the netizens on Douyin. They taught me a valuable lesson."

"The hardest thing in life is not being criticized, but having no one to criticize you at all."

"When I was unemployed, no one at Deyun Club paid any attention to me backstage, there was zero interaction on Weibo, and nobody recognized me on the street."

"That's when I realized that for an actor, the most terrifying thing is not controversy, but being forgotten."

The entire place was so quiet you could hear a pin drop.

"So being able to stand here today, being criticized and teased by you, is actually a very happy thing for me."

Thank you for remembering me.

He paused, then lowered his voice.

"In addition, as a newcomer in the entertainment industry, I, like Chu Ran, have a dream of becoming a good actor."

"It's just that her starting point was the Shanghai Theatre Academy, while mine was backstage at a crosstalk performance."

"But it's okay."

He smiled, a smile tinged with bitterness and stubbornness.

"Different paths, but the same destination."

He bowed to the audience.

"I am Yu Liang, an unemployed crosstalk performer. Thank you everyone."

The applause and cheers almost lifted the roof off.

Zhang Shaogang walked onto the stage, laughing and shaking his head: "I've hosted so many episodes of Roast, and this is the first time I've seen a guest who was roasted end up turning the whole show into his own personal show."

Li Dan shouted from below the stage, "A dimensional reduction attack! This is absolutely a dimensional reduction attack!"

Ma Sichun stood up and applauded: "Now I know why he lost his job at Deyun Club—because he's too good, so good that he has no friends!"

Yu Liang walked back to the guest seats.

Wang Churan handed over a bottle of water and whispered, "Brother Liang, that scene where they watched me on set... is it true?"

Yu Liang unscrewed the bottle cap, took a sip, and said nonchalantly, "It's fake, I made it up."

Wang Churan's eyes widened.

"I only started talking to you because you have a good waist-to-hip ratio."

"...Yu Liang, get out!"

Yu Liang laughed as she dodged the tissue box that was thrown at her.

But what he didn't say was—

That statement is true.

In his previous life, he worked as a stunt double on a film set, always standing behind the main character, never showing his face, and no one ever remembered his name.

At that time, he developed a habit: to observe everyone in a corner of the film set.

Because only those who hide in the corner truly understand what others in the corner are thinking.

---

That evening, the official Weibo account of "Roast Conference" released a trailer.

Yu Liang's line, "The most important thing for a fashion blogger is to have a lot of hair," was included in the trailer, and paired with Li Dansheng's resigned expression, it instantly became a trending topic.

#Yu Liang complains about Li Dan's hair volume# trending at number seven

#Father of Pantyhose Makes Online Jokes# #15th on the trending topics list

#Yu Liang's Dimensional Reduction Attack# Trending topic number 23

One hour after the trailer was released, it had been viewed over five million times.

The comments section went crazy:

[Performed entirely without a script! Is this the skill level of a crosstalk comedian? That's incredible!]

Li Dan was rendered speechless, while I laughed so hard I crowed.

I watched the scene where Maschinen asks about the bride price ten times!

[Yu Liang: I'm a superficial fashion blogger. Me: Superficial my ass, you're a fucking genius!]

[I need the full version! The trailer isn't enough!]