The Bizarre Adventure of the Warhammer Guard

In an instant, everyone, from the high lord huddled in his chair to the orc with a mocking expression, turned their gaze toward the doorway.

The heavy, golden door of the hall, inlaid with an imperial eagle relief, was slowly pushed open.

A towering, almost inhuman figure stepped into the hall. The adamantite power armor, forged using resources from several worlds, gleamed with dazzling golden light and stood in the center of the open, massive doorway.

He walked step by step into the council chamber, the soles of his gold boots striking the marble floor with a heavy sound.

He was not wearing a helmet, and his face was as perfect and cold as an ancient sculpture. His gaze quickly swept over all the high lords present, and finally settled on the orc envoy.

Elpis, the Emperor's royal guard, the protector of mankind, and the eternal servant of the Lord of Mankind.

Now, under the watchful eyes of everyone, they descended upon the High Lords' Council Hall.

In an instant, all kinds of people are in a state of mind.

The Minister of the Interior dared not look directly at the golden figure, lowering his head deeply, his body trembling involuntarily.

The merchant fleet representative instinctively tried to stand up from his chair to bow, but his knees were too weak to move.

The Pope of the State Church stared wide-eyed, his cloudy eyes wide, as he continued to mumble incoherent words.

In stark contrast is the Assassin's Court's Grand Master, Wangorich.

After the initial shock, an irrepressible glimmer of hope shone in his eyes. The legendary Imperial Guard had appeared at the empire's most perilous moment; this must surely be the Holy Emperor's arrangement!

The orc ambassador's crimson mechanical eye flashed. He slowly put down his pipe, tilted his head, and examined the newly appeared "golden can" with great interest.

"Negotiations?" Elpis's voice wasn't loud, but it reached everyone's ears clearly. "Discussing surrender? Discussing abandoning the Throne World under His Majesty's watchful eye?"

The Minister of the Interior was startled and stammered, trying to explain and defend himself: "My Lord, Imperial Guard, we were forced by circumstances..."

"Shut up!"

Elpis glanced at the High Lord, and with just two words, the once arrogant Minister of the Interior was too intimidated to speak.

"More than a dozen centuries." Elpis's voice was filled with anger. "In just over a dozen centuries, you've reduced His Majesty's empire, the heart of humanity, to the point where it has to grovel before the aliens?"

"Wow!" the ambassador drawled, his prosthetic eye flashing excitedly, his left hand slapping his thigh covered in tattered armor plating. "That was really something!"

"A giant golden can," the ambassador grinned, his eyes fixed on Elpis. "Look at your bearing, all tall and shiny. You're definitely more interesting than these spineless wimps."

The man pointed with his pipe at some high lords slumped in their seats and gave Elpis a thumbs-up with his left hand.

"As for you," Elpis turned to the ambassador who was gesticulating wildly beside him, "take your tattered papers and those two drooling good-for-nothings behind you, and go back to your battle moon."

"Ha." The ambassador let out a sneer through his nose.

He slowly stood up from his seat, took a step forward, and, thanks to his tall stature, almost reached eye level with Elpis, who was wearing power armor.

"Look at those cannon barrels, those giant cans," the ambassador said. "What will you use to defend yourselves?"

"You don't want to be without the great Waaagh, do you?" Elpis said slowly.

"What do you mean?" The ambassador touched his bald head with his left hand.

"You crave war, then I will give you war," Elpis's voice was resolute. "And not just once, but an endless war, a never-ending, unprecedented, eternal Waaagh."

Compared to many others present, Elpis understood the green-skinned orc race far better. These green-skinned people lacked any concept of order in civilized society; they were born embodiments of chaos and violence.

From the moment they germinate from the spores, their genes are etched with battle, battle, and more battle.

For orcs, battles don't require reasons like honor, orders, or hatred; they are born to love fighting, and war is their sole purpose for survival.

"Why should I believe you?" The ambassador gently fiddled with his mechanical eye. "We can just blow you all to pieces."

"Because I am stronger than you." Elpis's answer was direct and domineering.

"Nonsense!" The ambassador jumped up and down in anger, waving his fists. "Our boss is the strongest and most awesome!"

"Then go back and wait," Elpis stepped forward, closing in on the ambassador, "and tell your leader that I will prepare a grand war for it, and then personally end it, erasing your battle moon from the skies above Terra."

The ambassador was stunned for a moment. His magical brain circuits seemed to be shut down by this scene. His rough fingers unconsciously rubbed his chin, and his pipe swirled in the air.

"Fun! Fun!" The ambassador let out a deafening laugh. "Deal. I'll give you a few days to prepare. Big Canned Goods, you better bring us the real, great Waaagh, or we'll blow you all to bits."

The decision was so absurd and illogical that the high lords thought they were hallucinating.

The orcs... agreed? Just because of a vague promise of "more intense war," they agreed to postpone the attack?

But Elpis wasn't surprised. For orcs, concepts like "rationality," "strategy," and "cost" were far less important than "big enough," "Waaagh enough," and "fun enough."

These orcs also have a high degree of worship. As long as you act tough enough and make them think you are strong, powerful, and Waaagh, you can arouse their interest and use this to deal with them.

But this is merely a delaying tactic, only buying Terra a few moments to catch its breath.

"Waaagh!"

Upon hearing the words "Great Waaagh," the two orc guards, who had been silent until now, immediately let out excited howls. Then, they followed the ambassador, swaggering towards the council chamber doors.

The ambassador even stopped as he passed by Elpis.

He hunched over, his head hunched, and stretched out his thick, unidentified fingers, trying to poke at the patterns on Elpis's ornate shoulder armor.

Elpis deftly sidestepped, his movements elegant and precise.

The ambassador grinned widely, giving off a "Why are you so stingy, kid?" look.

"See you in a few days, Big Canned Goods!" The ambassador walked to the door, turned back to Elpis, gently pulled his top hat down slightly with his left hand in a farewell gesture, and said, "Don't let us down!"

With that, he disappeared down the corridor, a mocking laugh echoing in the empty council chamber.

The doors slowly closed, and the hall fell silent once more.