Forced to become a top influencer, I rely on my tu cao to ruin the cultivation world.

Luoxia Peak, Wendao Hall (formerly Podao Temple).

What should have been a solemn and serious first lesson now had the feel of a typical "company morning meeting".

Instead of sitting on the podium, Jia Zang drove his heavily modified "psychic tractor" directly into the main hall of the Daoist Temple. The tractor had been transformed into a mobile podium, its massive tracks covered in mud and oil, and its cargo bed filled with all sorts of strange parts and half a bottle of Erguotou liquor.

Jia Zang sat in the driver's seat of the tractor, holding a pointer in his hand, with a huge whiteboard hanging behind him. Instead of talismans or formations, the whiteboard had several large characters written in cinnabar:

"A Survival Guide to the Immortal Cultivation World: How to Elegantly Shift Blame and Slack Off"

Below the stage, hundreds of disciples sat upright, their eyes filled with fervor, as if they were looking at a savior.

"Professor Jia! You've finally arrived!"

"Master, I've been feeling very restless during my cultivation lately. Is it because I'm taking too much blame for things?"

"Master, I want to learn the 'Slacking Off Technique.' I heard that if you master it, you can increase your cultivation level while you sleep?"

Jia Zhuang pushed up his sunglasses and tapped the steering wheel of the tractor.

"Silence! Today's lesson is dry and profound. Those who don't understand it are advised to repeat the course; those who do understand it will ascend to immortality."

He cleared his throat and began his performance.

"First, we need to clarify one concept: what is a 'pot'?"

Jia Zhuang pointed to the first word on the whiteboard.

"In the cultivation world, 'pot' is karma, it's karmic burden. If your master sends you to your death, that's a pot; if your senior brother makes you take the blame, that's a pot; if your sect goes bankrupt and you have to borrow spirit stones, that's an even bigger pot!"

"What do you do when you encounter a pot? What would a traditional cultivator say? 'If I don't go to hell, who will?' Wrong! Utterly wrong!"

Jia Zhuang suddenly waved his hand, and the loudspeaker on the tractor emitted a piercing electrical sound.

"The correct approach is—technically shifting the blame!"

"First move: The Great Shift of Heaven and Earth. When the elder asks you why you failed the mission, don't say 'I couldn't win.' Instead, say 'It's because the magical artifact Elder Wang gave me didn't have enough spiritual power, which prevented me from using my full strength and thus affected the sect's grand plan.' See, the blame is instantly shifted from you to Elder Wang's 'magical artifact procurement' problem!"

[Livestream chat]

[Hahaha! I know this trick by heart! A must-have in the workplace!]

[That's called "managing upwards"! The streamer knows how to cultivate immortality!]

Elder Wang: Thank you so much!

"The second trick: Tai Chi Push Hands. When your senior brother asks you to do dirty or tiring work, don't refuse. Instead, say, 'Senior brother, this is too important. My cultivation is too low, and I'm afraid I'll mess it up. Why don't you let Senior Brother Li do it? He has higher cultivation, is more reliable, and he's been wanting to show off lately.' See? You've shifted the blame to Senior Brother Li again, and you've earned a reputation for being 'sensible'!"

The disciples below the stage listened with rapt attention, frantically taking notes in their notebooks.

"Wow! So the reason I suffered losses before was because I didn't know how to communicate effectively!"

"I've learned something! I'll go back and pass it on to my senior brother right away!"

Jia Zang nodded in satisfaction as he watched this scene.

"Very good. Next, we'll talk about the second lesson—the 'slacking off' method in quantum mechanics."

"Many disciples ask me, 'Master Jia, I want to cultivate, but I also want to be lazy. What should I do?'"

Jia Zhuang smiled mysteriously.

"Remember this: as long as I slack off scientifically enough, Heaven won't notice I'm being lazy!"

"What is 'slacking off' in quantum mechanics? It means that when you're in seclusion, don't actually sit there like an idiot. You should hang a sign at the entrance of your cave that says, 'Practicing the Great Dao, Do Not Disturb.' Then inside... you sleep! Or read novels!"

"Why does this increase your cultivation level? Because your subconscious is relaxing! Cultivation emphasizes 'enlightenment.' If you spend all day practicing swordsmanship, that's 'labor,' not 'enlightenment'! You can take a nap and dream that your patriarch will teach you a couple of moves! That's called 'attaining enlightenment in a dream'!"

[Ding! "Heretical and fallacious arguments" detected. 300 Honkai Points awarded!]

"But Master," a disciple raised his hand to ask, "what if we get caught by the Execution Hall?"

"Good question!" Jia Zang snapped his fingers. "This leads to the third move—defensive training."

"You need to learn to utilize the rules. The sect stipulates four hours of cultivation every day? Then set up a spirit-gathering array in your cave, and put a puppet inside to meditate! As for your real body... go to the back mountain and catch a spirit beast to fight crickets! As long as there are fluctuations in spiritual energy, who will know if it's you sitting inside?"

"Will this... will this work?" The disciples were skeptical.

"Don't believe me? Let's test it out right here!"

Jia Zhuang grabbed an outer disciple at random. "You, come up here! Try using the 'blame-shifting method' to resist my oppressive aura!"

The disciple stood up tremblingly, and seeing the Nascent Soul stage pressure released by Jia Zang (with system enhancement), his legs went weak with fear.

"I...I..."

"Don't panic! Use your persuasive skills!" Jia Zhuang encouraged.

The disciple took a deep breath, then suddenly pointed to the sky and shouted:

"Instructor Jia! It's not that I didn't want to block it, it's just... the sun is too strong today! It's caused my fire elemental energy to become disordered, and Elder Wang's lecture last night was too loud, disturbing my sleep, so I'm not in good condition right now! This isn't my fault, blame... blame the injustice of Heaven!"

[Ding! "God-level blame-shifting" detected, 500 Honkai Points gained!]

A miraculous scene unfolded.

After the disciple shouted those words, his spiritual energy, which had been stagnant due to fear, actually flowed more smoothly! Although he still couldn't withstand the pressure, his "righteous" aura actually weakened the pressure by three points!

"Good! Very good!" Jia Zhuang laughed. "Although I'm still a novice, I've already won in terms of mentality! This is the power of 'Thick Black Theory'!"

Just then, a cold voice suddenly broke in.

"Jia Zang! What kind of rubbish are you teaching!"

Everyone turned around and saw Elder Wang Teng leading the people from the Enforcement Hall, barging in aggressively.

Wang Teng held a list in his hand, his face ashen.

"Someone has reported that you are instigating your disciples to be lazy and shirk their duties, and even teaching them evil arts! Today, I am revoking your instructor's license!"

Jia Zang looked at Wang Teng, but instead of panicking, he revealed a meaningful smile.

"Oh, Elder Wang is here? Perfect timing, this lesson is about you."

"Me?" Wang Teng was taken aback.

"Exactly," Jia Zhuang pointed to the whiteboard. "Look everyone, this is a classic example of the 'scapegoat' – a prime example of what not to do. Elder Wang worked himself to the bone for the sect, and what was the result? Disciples disobeyed, elders didn't cooperate, and in the end, he got all the blame. Why? Because he didn't know how to 'pass the buck'!"

Wang Teng was so angry his beard trembled: "You...you're talking nonsense! I'm here to take your money!"

"Take me?" Jia Zhuang pointed to the hundreds of disciples below the stage. "Elder Wang, are you sure? These disciples are all my students. If you touch me, you'll be making an enemy of the entire 'Wen Dao Hall'! Besides..."

Jia Zang leaned closer to Wang Teng and whispered:

"Don't you want to know who reported you for 'taking kickbacks when purchasing religious artifacts'?"

Wang Teng's expression changed: "You...how did you know? That's...!"

"Shh—" Jia Zhuang held up a finger, "This is the art of 'passing the buck.' That whistleblower letter was actually... written at the behest of Sect Leader Li Changfeng."

"What?!" Wang Teng exclaimed in shock.

"Don't believe me? You can go ask the sect leader. But I suggest you hurry up and 'pass the buck' now, say it was a misunderstanding and that your subordinates were incompetent. If you're too late, you'll really be stuck with this blame."

Wang Teng felt a sudden panic when he saw Jia Zhuang's confident gaze.

Although he knew Jia Zang was fooling him, what if... what if it was true?

"You...you just wait!"

Wang Teng stamped his foot and hurriedly left with the people from the Enforcement Hall. He actually went to the Sect Leader's Hall to "explain"!

[Livestream chat]

[Hahaha! This streamer's words are truly devastating!]

[This is called "using someone else to do the dirty work"! Elder Wang has been completely fooled!]

I just want to know, what will the sect leader's expression be when he sees Wang Teng explaining that he "didn't take any kickbacks"?

As Jia Zhuang watched Wang Teng's departing figure, he gave a peace sign to the camera.

"See? That's the power of knowledge. If you shift the blame well, even a powerful enemy can run away!"

He turned around and looked at the admiring gazes of the audience below.

"That's all for today's class. Homework: Each person needs to write a 'Report on Why I Haven't Made a Breakthrough Yet,' at least 800 words long. No lunch until you finish!"

"Yes, mentor!"

The disciples shouted in unison, their voices resounding through the heavens.

[Ding! Congratulations, host! You have successfully implanted "Thick Black Theory" into the Qingyun Sect, gaining 2000 Collapse Points!]

[System Notification: A large number of disciples have been detected to possess the "scapegoating" skill, triggering the hidden achievement—"Everyone's a Villain." Reward: [Group Taunt Aura (Upgraded Version)] .]

Jia Zhuang looked at the system notification and a wicked smile crept onto his lips.

"Everyone's a villain? Heh heh, this Qingyun Sect is getting more and more interesting."