Rebirth 02, the Celestial Being Told Me to Stop Pretending

February 14th, Beiping (Beijing), sunny.

At the ticket window of Huaxing Cinema, Chen Fei clutched two twenty-yuan bills, looking troubled.

"How about 'The Mouse Loves the Cat'? Andy Lau and Cecilia Cheung, so fitting for the season."

Girlfriend Lin Xiaoran rolled her eyes: "Everyone online is talking about 'Crazy Stone'! Did you see the trailer on Tianya Forum? It's hilarious!"

"Never even heard of it."

"My colleague saw it at a preview screening in Wuhan last week and said it was ten times funnier than the trailer."

"I absolutely have to see what this 'least-watchable movie for Valentine's Day' is all about."

The ticket seller looked up at Chen Fei and said, "Young man, quite a few couples have come to see this today, and the women especially like the opposite."

Chen Fei changed his tune: "Crazy Stone, two copies."

Hall 3 has 120 seats, and about 60% of them were occupied, mostly by young people.

The attendance rate wasn't too bad, considering the money spent on marketing and promotion.

Chen Fei whispered to his girlfriend, "I need to see if this movie is really as amazing as it sounds."

Girlfriend Xiaoran said confidently, "Trust me, there won't be any problems."

As the two were talking, the theater lights dimmed.

The dragon logo appeared, followed by five large characters on the screen.

"Director Lu Chen's works"

Then the main feature begins.

The story takes place in a mountain town, and the movie opens with Lao Bao, played by Guo Tao, looking affectionately at a dripping faucet.

He came to Ning Hao, who was acting as a doctor, to treat his prostate.

Chen Fei was a little disdainful when he saw that the movie was performed in dialect, thinking to himself, "Who is this for?"

Next, Xie Xiaomeng appeared.

He sat in the cable car, opposite a beautiful woman with dreamy eyes, and began his performance:

"Whenever I look at this city from this angle, I feel strongly that the city is the mother, and we live inside her womb..."

No sooner had this seemingly serious nonsense been uttered than some people in the theater burst out laughing.

Five minutes later, Zhang Songwen, who plays the character Four-Eyes, appears.

"Damn it, high-tech, is it? Self-driving! Can't you see it? Don't touch me (BMW), if it can't be driven, don't drive it!"

The moment the words "Don't touch me" were uttered, the entire audience burst into laughter.

But the best is yet to come.

The trio of bumbling thieves arrived at the foot of an old building. Xiao Jun craned his neck and shouted towards the upstairs window, "Brother Dao! Brother Dao!"

After shouting twice, the window was pushed open with a bang, and Brother Dao leaned out, looking impatient, and yelled in a low voice:

"What are you shouting for! Have some manners! Watch your manners!"

These seven words, coupled with Dao Ge's extremely serious yet inexplicably comical face, caused an uproar in the theater.

"Pfft, hahaha."

"Manners! Watch your manners! I'm fucking laughing."

Xiao Jun wasn't about to be outdone. When Dao Ge asked him to scout the location, Xiao Jun looked hesitant and timidly replied:

"Brother, we're not professionals at this!"

His comment "unprofessional," coupled with his sour face, caused the entire theater to burst into laughter.

Then there's the increased screen time for Lu Chen.

Dao was squatting on the toilet, Mike was washing his hands, and the two brushed past each other.

The visuals are tense, but the sound is relaxed.

Then Dao Ge pulled up his pants and opened the door. The security guard, expressionless, said, "Sir, this is the women's restroom."

The whole place burst into laughter.

What truly electrified the audience was another scene.

Xie Xiaomeng's line on the cable car, "If you want romance, you have to be wasteful first. How can you pick up girls if you don't have money?" had the audience in stitches.

Later, he was caught by Brother Dao, who pointed at him righteously and said:

"You insulted my character, and you insulted my intelligence!"

This line, paired with Dao Ge's face, created a textbook-worthy scene.

A girl in front of Chen Fei was laughing so hard she kept patting her boyfriend's arm, and her boyfriend grinned and laughed along.

In the scene where Bao Shihong chases the thief, he rushes into the dormitory, picks up a camera, glances at the lens cap, and mutters to himself with a puzzled look:

"Nike makes cameras too?"

The audience burst out laughing.

"That's a Nikon! A Nikon!"

"Nike making cameras? That's hilarious."

Chen Fei also thought to himself, this is too much of a burden, one after another.

The most amazing part is the climax.

After a series of chaotic and unexpected events, Bao Shihong, standing in the public restroom, finally bursts out the line he'd been holding back throughout the entire movie, facing the thief who had failed to steal the jade:

"A public toilet? You can't just come and go as you please!"

The moment those words were spoken, the entire theater erupted in cheers.

Applause, laughter, and whistles mingled together.

A few guys immediately stood up from their seats, clapping and shouting, "Awesome!"

Chen Fei has seen many movies, but this kind of narrative technique is something he has never seen before.

The most outrageous part is the ending.

The scene of the dark-skinned man being chased while carrying bread, accompanied by that music, made the entire audience laugh until they were breathless.

The credits began to roll on the screen, and the theater lights came on.

"It looks so good!" Chen Fei said excitedly to his girlfriend.

"Of course. I chose it."

As I walked out of the theater, a crowd had gathered at the entrance.

"Dao Ge's comment about 'manners' was hilarious!"

"I laughed so hard I almost choked on my breath during the part where Blackie ran away!"

"Did you guys notice? Dao Ge and Mike never even met!"

Chen Fei took out his phone and went to Tianya Forum. He searched for "Crazy Stone".

The post has gone viral.

I watched this on Valentine's Day and laughed until my stomach hurt!

Who says Valentine's Day is only for romance movies? This one is a hundred times funnier than any romance movie!

"Dark-skinned is so pitiful."

"Who is this director? A student from the Beijing Film Academy?"

On the third day of its release, the word "quality" quickly became a trending topic online.

On the Tianya Film and Television forum, a user with the ID "Chongqing Zai'er" posted a compilation of classic lines from the movie "Crazy Stone," and welcomes additions.

"You insulted my character and my intelligence." — Dao Ge

"Manners! Mind your manners!" — Brother Dao

"Damn it!" — Mike

"Brand! Baleno!" — Black Leather

"To be romantic, you must first waste money." — Xie Xiaomeng

I replied to over two hundred messages in two hours.

By the fourth day, the post had been shared on Xici Hutong, Mop, and Sina Forum, with a total of over two thousand replies.

The term "quality" has been removed from the film's context and become a popular internet meme.

Wang Yan compiled the online discussions into a document and showed it to Lu Chen.

"There are over thirty posts on Tianya alone discussing the lines, with tens of thousands of replies combined. On Mop, someone started a poll—'The funniest line'—and 'Mind your manners' came in first, with over three thousand people participating."

"Three thousand people voted," Lu Chen said, "which means at least thirty thousand people have seen the movie."

He put down the document.

"It's done."

Word of mouth is growing, but it's not just good word of mouth.

Zhou Mingyuan, a senior editor at *Film World*, published a 3,000-word film review titled:

Crazy Stone: A clever imitation or a clumsy plagiarism?

On the positive side: the narrative control is beyond his years, the long take in the jade exhibition hall is textbook-worthy, and Liu Hua's performance is the biggest highlight of the whole film.

The negative aspects include: the multi-narrative structure is identical to Guy Ritchie's "Two Barrels," the portrayal of the lower class is a "condescending gaze," and the ending is too rushed.

Similar questions arose after the release of "Crazy Stone" in my previous life.

But these doubts will not affect the box office. Audiences don't care about structural similarities; they only care about whether it's entertaining or not.

He sent Zhou Mingyuan a very short email:

"Editor Zhou, hello. You're right about the multi-narrative structure and its similarities to 'Two Smoking Barrels,' I agree. You're also right about the rushed ending; budget and time constraints meant it was rushed. As for the issue of the lower classes being the consumers, I disagree, but I don't intend to argue. If you're interested, we can discuss it."

Three days later, Zhou Mingyuan published a new article in Film World: A letter from the director of Crazy Stone, the candor of a 21-year-old.

He made the email contents public and attached a response:

"He admitted what he should admit and refused what he should refuse, without any unnecessary emotions. This attitude impressed me more than his films."

After this article was published, the online sentiment subtly shifted.

Viewers who initially only discussed the lines and jokes began to discuss deeper issues.

Is multi-narrative structure plagiarism?

Should people from the lower classes be portrayed in this way?

Where is the line between commercial films and art films?

A movie that can make the audience argue is a million times better than a movie that the audience forgets after watching it.

February 17th, Monday, the fourth day of the movie's release.

Smoke filled a small conference room on the fourth floor of the Nortel Building.

Lu Chen sat by the window, a Hongtashan cigarette between his fingers.

The cigarette had burned down to the filter, and he was too lazy to flick the ash off the table.

After his rebirth, he quit smoking. Last week, when he went to the General Administration to handle some paperwork, he bought a pack at the convenience store at the entrance, and he has already smoked more than half of it.

Ning Hao paced back and forth in the room, his leather shoes making a rapid sound on the terrazzo floor.

He walked to the window and then turned back, walked to the door and then turned back again, like a beast trapped in a cage.

Zhao Bo sat in the corner, clutching a Walkman in his hand, the headphone cord wrapped around his fingers again and again.

He was usually not very talkative, and today he didn't even open his mouth, his eyes were just fixed on the landline on the table.

Wang Yan wasn't there; he went to wait outside the General Administration building to gather information.

The clock on the wall pointed to 9:05.

"Why hasn't the phone been called yet?" Ning Hao finally stopped, his voice a little dry.

"What's the rush?" Lu Chen stubbed out his cigarette in a disposable paper cup, which already contained five or six cigarette butts.

He took another cigarette from the pack, put it in his mouth, and it took him three tries to light it with the lighter.

Zhang Songwen pushed open the door and came in, carrying two bags of soy milk and fried dough sticks. He placed them on the table, but no one touched them.

"Have something to eat."

"I can't eat." Ning Hao waved his hand, sat back down in his chair, and tapped the table unconsciously with his fingers, the rhythm getting faster and faster.

Lu Chen took a deep drag of his cigarette, and slowly exhaled the smoke from his nostrils.

He had experienced countless box office waits in his past life, from small-budget projects costing hundreds of thousands to large-scale projects costing billions. Logically speaking, he should have gotten used to it by now.

But this time is different.

This is his first film, and also the first time since his rebirth that he has truly turned what's in his head into something on the screen.

He was more nervous than anyone else.