The Human History of Those Gods: A Continuous Stream

"Hey, what exactly do you want?" Liang Song was feeling uncertain. This damned mountain spirit must have drugged him, otherwise how could he have been tied up like a dumpling without even realizing it?

As if knowing his thoughts, the mountain spirit said, "Yes, it was poisoned. Hemp strychnine, aconite, monkshood... I think there was also some cloud seed and red pokeweed... I can't remember..."

Liang Song grumbled angrily, "Sneaking drugs is not the act of a hero! Release me first before we talk about anything else, I promise I won't hit you. Hey, what exactly do you want to do with me tied up?"

The mountain spirit turned around and squatted down beside him. "Uncle-Master, don't be afraid."

Liang Song shivered. It was so cold; he felt he would freeze solid soon. He cursed inwardly, but could only restrain himself and try his best to keep the resentment from showing on his face.

"Uncle-Master, don't be afraid, you'll be back soon," the mountain spirit continued.

"What?" The mountain spirit's words were beyond his comprehension.

"Tai Su Zhen Gong San Yi Gui He Zhen, look." The mountain spirit lifted Liang Song's head, trying to make sure he could see his surroundings. There was a huge red circle all around, with symbols drawn haphazardly that Liang Song couldn't understand at all. Some looked like birds, some looked like fish, and they were somewhat similar to the talismans for subduing demons that he had seen in TV dramas.

"Last night, Nan Dou and I discussed it. If we rely on prayer to awaken you from Tai Ming Huang Shen, it will be very difficult. It would be better to use the Tai Su Zhen Gong San Yi Gui He Array to summon back your three souls and seven spirits that were scattered after your death, and then find a way to guide them into your body, so that your souls can be guided from Baihui to Fengchi to Mingmen and then to Weilu. Then we can command all the gods to return to their positions, and you can come back, Uncle Master."

"Uncle-Master? Who the hell is your Uncle-Master? I'm telling you, you've got it wrong. Look closely, we've never met before. I don't even know if you're a human or a ghost. What does it matter to me whether your Uncle-Master comes back or not?" Liang Song struggled in vain for a few moments. This guy must be crazy.

Did he get his comeuppance for doing too many bad things? First, he encountered an earthquake in the mountains, then a snowstorm. He thought he had found a way out, but then he ran into a lunatic.

This guy must be a lunatic, probably escaped from a nearby mental hospital. He's got the same cultivation syndrome as Sun Wuliang. What era is this? Still talking about three souls and seven spirits, Tai Su Zhen Gong, and the Three Ones Returning to One? What rubbish.

"Uncle-Master, you're lucky. Fortunately, Nan Dou remembered that you still have the Langhan Soul-Summoning and Spirit-Gathering Talisman, which you drew yourself before. Without this talisman, even if the formation were activated, it would be impossible to gather your soul, which had already been scattered by the karmic winds. You see, you're still lucky."

The lamplight flickered, casting dances of light and shadow on the mountain spirit's face. The shadow of his eyelashes traced from the corner of his eye to his chin, making his face look exceptionally eerie.

"Are you out of your mind? Did you escape from a mental hospital and end up here? How many lifetimes of cultivation did you need to become so deeply ill? Summoning spirits? Summoning your damn spirits! I'm telling you, the police will find me soon... Sun Wuliang has already called the police..."

"Sun Wuliang..." Even though he knew it was all in vain, Liang Song still cried out.

------

Sun Wuliang's eyelid twitched. This was the thirty-eighth time his right eyelid had twitched today.

He took a sip of his soda and poked his head out from under the covers. A teammate in the game, named Eye of Horus, urged him, "Push the tower! The enemy jungler isn't here." Suddenly remembering he hadn't seen Liang Song online for two days, he took two steps forward and then stopped, which annoyed his teammate: "Hey old man, are you leisurely scrolling through your WeChat steps?"

"The user you dialed is temporarily unavailable..." Liang Song's phone was not connected.

He thought for a moment, then called He Huanhuan again. He Huanhuan's voice was very nasal, probably because she had just woken up.

"Are Liang and Song together with you?"

"Are you crazy?" He Huanhuan said, sounding rather impatient.

"Who is it so early in the morning?" a man next to him asked. Sun Wuliang thought it sounded like Jiang Hai's voice.

"Are you with Jiang Hai?" Sun Wuliang asked, somewhat surprised.

"None of your business." *beep*—the phone hung up, and He Huanhuan uttered this witty retort before turning off her phone.

Sun Wuliang was Liang Song's childhood friend. He was about the same height as Liang Song and always kept a buzz cut close to his scalp. Compared to Liang Song, he was not considered particularly handsome. However, if you put him in a crowd, he was tall and had well-defined features, so he was quite good-looking. His only flaw was that his mouth was relatively small and he always kept it pursed, which made him seem unapproachable.

In fact, Sun Wuliang has a good temper. Liang Song was unrestrained and flamboyant since childhood and only became more mature as an adult, while Sun Wuliang has always been taciturn and only becomes a bit unruly when you get to know him. However, the difference in their personalities does not prevent them from becoming close friends.

These two graduated from Xinlei Kindergarten at No. 211 Xinxing North Road together, then entered Experimental Primary School No. 1 together, and then skipped classes together by climbing over the wall under the nose of the director of the teaching affairs office of Qingshan No. 2 Middle School, wasting their middle school years in the days of inspection and counter-inspection.

Together, we'll train from complete noobs to develop biceps, pectorals, and abs, and together we'll be invincible against the 531 Middle School. 531 is a name synonymous with Qingshan No. 2 Middle School, referring to the five streets: Futongli, Dongshanli, Xishanli, Heqingli, and Xingfu Street. The three refers to the three schools within those five streets, and the first refers to the youth training center behind Qingshan No. 2 Middle School.

All of this sounds rather foolish now, but in the eyes of Liang, Song and Sun Wuliang at the time, 531 was synonymous with the world.

Time flies, and within a few years, they graduated from high school. Sun Wuliang managed to get into a vocational school, while Liang Song barely made it into a second-tier university. After graduation, they both joined the same finance company, but quit after less than six months because they couldn't stand the monotonous and tedious work life. Later, Liang Song joined her father's company, holding a nominal position in the planning department, while Sun Wuliang became Liang Song's assistant, with Liang Song covering all their monthly expenses.

An ordinary resume, yet it encapsulates the entirety of Sun Wuliang and Liang Song's youth.

After hanging up the phone, Sun Wuliang opened another mobile game and set his account's daily tasks to auto-play. It was a cultivation-themed game where Sun Wuliang was already at the Refining Spirit to Emptiness stage. Sun Wuliang possessed the "Hua Gai" star in his destiny and was a devotee of mysticism, currently a casual cultivator. Compared to his peers, he preferred cultivation-themed games. In the game, his name was Sun Jingxu, the Golden Core Daoist.

Normally, he would go to the tower and do a dungeon, but today he couldn't find Liang Song, which made Sun Wuliang a little uneasy.

He looked up at his reflection in the mirror at the foot of the bed. His reflection was looking back at him, even smiling. According to folk taboos, a mirror should not face the head of the bed; sleeping with a mirror facing you is believed to cause your soul to drift apart. However, his bedroom was simply too small to allow for a more suitable arrangement.

Sun Wuliang's old house was in Lu'an District. After his father passed away, he and his sister sold the old house to pay off their father's debts. The extra tens of thousands of yuan were kept in Sun Wuliang's bank account. A few years later, his sister married and moved to another city, leaving him alone in Binjiang. He never bought another house. At first, he rented a room with a neighbor, and later, after starting work, he moved into the dormitory area of ​​Zhiguan Group in Xishan North Urban Village.

He was somewhat uneasy after failing to find Liang Song all day. Evening was the time for Sun Wuliang to cultivate with Wang Dazhong. Wang Dazhong was an old colleague of Sun Wuliang's father. He used to work at the wooden clock factory, but in the 1990s, when the factory underwent institutional reforms, he bought out his years of service and opened a clock shop.

Like Sun Wuliang, Wang Dazhong was also a cultivator enthusiast. He claimed to be a relic of the Daoist era, a treasure lost to time, whose sect's secret techniques could command the heavens and earth and spirits. Most people would have dismissed this as mere fantasy, but Sun Wuliang had a certain degree of belief in him.

And so, Sun Wuliang practiced with him for several years. Their daily routine consisted of nothing more than gathering qi and practicing standing meditation. Over time, Sun Wuliang developed feelings for him and gradually regarded him as family. He would say that he was practicing with him three times a week, but it was really just a chance to get together, chat and boast. It was also a way for him to keep a place in the mortal world in his thoughts.

Today, Sun Wuliang was inevitably distracted. After finally finishing his stance training, he rushed to Cui Chunhai and used the password to open Liang Song's door.

The house was quiet; Liang Song must not be home.

"Liang and Song!"

Sun Wuliang changed his shoes and walked around. The house hadn't been cleaned for several days; the sofa was a mess of Liang Song's clothes, both new and old, a tablet, fashion magazines, and a jumble of data cables... and a green sock with a crocodile pattern...

"Liang and Song!"

Sun Wuliang bent down and picked up a pink leopard-print silk nightgown from the checkered patterned vinyl floor. It was a sexy women's nightgown. He held it to his nose and smelled it. It had a sweet, cloying floral scent that was somewhat familiar, but he couldn't remember whose it was.

He looked around, opened the door to the walk-in closet, and casually tossed his pajamas inside.

Something was amiss, and Sun Wuliang instinctively took a step back: the cabinet door on the left side of the dressing room, where outdoor gear was stored, was open. He stepped forward, examining the empty cabinet. Just a few days ago, it had held the hiking gear that Liang Song had bought and had been sitting idle ever since… Now, all that gear had vanished…

He gradually panicked, vaguely recalling the truth or dare game he played at KAOS-6 the night before last. KAOS-6, the bar owned by Chen Yuan's British brother-in-law, was a well-known place of laughter on Fuchun Road, brightly lit and bustling with activity every night.

KAOS-6's recent fame stems from a skinny folk singer who performs there. Sun Wuliang has forgotten the singer's name, but a strange folk song by this skinny singer has unexpectedly become a hit. The song is called "Li Jun and Li Xiaojun," and it's about the love-hate relationship between a father and son. It even features a memorable scene with profanity. Every day, large crowds gather at KAOS-6 just to sing along to the chorus: "Li Xiaojun, Li Xiaojun, you better remember this, I am your father, I am your father, I am your father..."

Sun Wuliang felt no connection to this revelry; if it weren't for Liang Song, he would probably be a complete shut-in. He remembered that Liang Song, himself, He Huanhuan, Chen Yuan, Wang Nancun, Jiang Hai, and the few girls Jiang Hai brought were all present that day.

The atmosphere in the hall was just right, and everyone's spirits were high. As they drank, someone suggested playing Truth or Dare.

Jiang Hai went to the bar and got some dice. The group started making noise and shouting. Liang Song chose truth for the first few times, answering boring questions like when he had his first kiss, who he had his first time with, and his size.

But as they played, things took a turn for the worse. A girl who looked a lot like Song Yun'er called out in a childish voice, "Brother, brother, choose dare! Dare!" Then she pressed her pink, round face against her palm and twisted it back and forth. This caused Liang Song, who had been drinking, to have a burst of hormones. He kept choosing dares until he drew that card.