The night before the college entrance exam results were released, I redeemed my Peking University ad

In the nanny van downstairs.

Ye Lan's slender, pale fingers gripped the phone, and she unconsciously tightened her hold on.

shit?

He said he needed to poop!

Who is she?

Ye Lan!

A queen of the Chinese music scene, a four-time winner of the Golden Melody Award for Best Female Singer, with total record sales exceeding 50 million copies, she is described by music critics as having "a voice kissed by angels".

She has had zero scandals in her fifteen years in the industry. Many top male stars have to wait in line to sing a duet with her, and she may not even choose to sing songs written by her famous composers.

But at this moment, she was sitting in a nanny van parked downstairs in an old residential area when an eighteen-year-old boy decisively blocked her way with the words "I need to poop".

Ye Lan had imagined countless scenarios for their conversation. Ji Bai might be flattered, he might pretend to be calm, he might put on airs and negotiate, or he might actually say something surprising like he did on Weibo.

She even prepared her response in advance, so that she could handle whatever the other party's attitude was.

But to her utter surprise, Ji Bai's opening line was "I need to poop."

but--

That makes a lot of sense.

Who doesn't poop in the morning?

Ye Lan turned her head slightly and looked out the car window at the old residential building with its mottled exterior walls.

The walls were covered with posters for unclogging drains and issuing certificates, layer upon layer, like the rings of a tree.

This is where Ji Bai lives.

The young man who made the entire audience stand up and applaud when he said "When the youth are strong, the nation is strong" at the Great Hall of the People, the young man who blew up half of the music scene overnight by playing six timeless hits, lives here.

On this seemingly ordinary morning, she was downstairs waiting for someone to take a dump, which was perfectly reasonable and there was nothing to say about it.

She recalled Ji Bai's comment on Weibo yesterday: "Woman, are you trying to please me?"

At the time, she only thought that the boy was bold and didn't play by the rules, but now she suddenly realized that every word he said was true.

This complete lack of defense made Ye Lan feel a strange sense of ease.

She doesn't need to put on airs like a superstar, doesn't need to carefully consider the wording of every sentence, and doesn't need to worry about whether the other party is trying to decipher her unspoken meaning.

Thinking of this, Ye Lan suddenly smiled.

This is the first time in her fifteen years in the industry that she has been left hanging downstairs by someone saying "I need to poop".

And she actually found it...quite interesting.

"Hmm... I'll go up in half an hour."

After saying that, Ye Lan hung up the phone.

In the passenger seat, agent Xu Jing turned around, holding a tablet computer in her hand, the screen filled with her recent work schedule.

"What? Ji Bai isn't home?"

"At home," Ye Lan answered with her eyes closed.

"Then why wait half an hour before going up?" Xu Jing pressed, her brows furrowed.

In her opinion, her artist got up early, flew all the way from Beijing, arrived early, and even politely called ahead, which was already a great honor.

If the other party were sensible, they should have quickly tidied up and come downstairs to greet them. Why did they leave them waiting?

That's way too much!

Ye Lan opened her eyes and glanced at Xu Jing.

He said... he needed to poop!

"Well……"

Xu Jing was also speechless.

No,

shit?

She nearly dropped the tablet in her hand. She opened her mouth as if to say something, but all the words in her brain's vocabulary became useless at that moment.

She has been in the industry for over a decade, has managed several top-tier artists, and has encountered all sorts of eccentric negotiating opponents.

Some were deliberately late, some raised prices at the last minute, and some were polite to your face but turned their backs on you the next.

But none of them used "I need to poop" as a reason.

The key point is that you can't refute it.

Defecation is a basic physiological need for humans; you can't expect people to hold it in, can you?

Old Zhang, the driver in the driver's seat, a veteran driver with twenty years of experience who had driven countless celebrities and considered himself a well-traveled expert, paused slightly with his hand on the steering wheel.

In his twenty-year career, he has seen people throw tantrums in their cars, cry in their cars, argue with their agents and smash their phones in their cars, and even argue with their sugar daddies in their cars...

But he had never seen a pop diva left stranded downstairs by someone saying "I need to poop".

I've learned so much today, I really have.

The makeup artist, Xiao Li, in the back row was originally looking down and tidying up her makeup brushes, her hand hovering above a loose powder brush for a full five seconds.

She bit her lower lip, desperately telling herself "Don't laugh, don't laugh, don't laugh," but her shoulders still trembled slightly uncontrollably.

She pretended to yawn and turned her face to the car window, where her flushed face was reflected.

Only one thought crossed my mind: This Ji Bai... is too wild!

Even Sister Lan dared to leave him hanging, and with this kind of excuse. The key thing is that Sister Lan actually waited obediently. What's wrong with this world?

An eerie silence fell over the car.

No one spoke, no one moved, only the whooshing sound of the air conditioner vents and the occasional bird calls from outside the window.

Everyone pretended to be busy with their own things.

The driver was adjusting the rearview mirror, the makeup artist was organizing her brushes, the assistant was looking at her phone, and the agent was looking at her tablet.

But everyone's ears were perked up, and everyone's thoughts were drawn to the boy upstairs who was supposedly using the toilet.

The queen waited in her car downstairs, while the boy took a dump upstairs.

This morning is destined to be recorded in the history of Chinese music!

……

Half an hour later, the nanny van door opened.

The first thing to step out was a long leg encased in flesh-colored stockings.

Then came the other leg, and then the whole person stood up from the car.

The nanny van was parked in front of the old apartment building. The dusty walls, rusty security bars, and the stairwell with the "Unblock the sewer" sign on it created an unreal contrast with the woman who stepped out of the van.

Like a female protagonist who accidentally wanders into ruins in a movie.

"Are you sure you don't need me to go up with you?"

Agent Xu Jing leaned out of the car window, glanced at the old, dilapidated house, and her brows furrowed involuntarily.

She wasn't worried that Ji Bai could eat Ye Lan up, but rather that the environment was worlds apart from her artist's status. There wasn't even an elevator, and the hallway was probably filled with someone's pickled vegetable jars.

"No need, I can go by myself."

After closing the car door, Ye Lan walked into the old, dilapidated apartment building of Ji Bai's family in her high heels.

There were only a few elderly people taking a stroll in the neighborhood; some were practicing Tai Chi by the flower beds, while others were sitting on benches with their dogs on leashes, lost in thought.

This small fourth- or fifth-tier city doesn't have many young people left, so the older folks didn't recognize Ye Lan and just assumed she was someone's pretty daughter-in-law visiting.

I might glance at her a couple of times as she passes by; she's really pretty.

This is also why Ye Lan chose to come directly to Ji Bai's house.

Meeting in a coffee shop or similar place isn't private enough, and the risk of being recognized is too high. If it ends up requiring autographs and photos, then there's no point in talking about business.

Meeting at a hotel...that's definitely not the case!

If word got out that the diva was having a secret rendezvous with an 18-year-old boy at a hotel, that would be terrible!

After thinking it over, it was still the most convenient to come directly to Ji Bai's house. No one would have expected her to be in a place like this.

Ji Bai's house is on the third floor.

"Clang, clang..."

Ye Lan knocked on the door three times with her fingers, the force neither too strong nor too weak, polite yet elegant.

There was the sound of slippers clattering inside, followed by the sound of a door lock turning.

"They're here..."