He just became the last Celestial Master, and the school beauty is already calling him "Dad&quo

"what……"

The screams erupted instantly.

Lin Ran's relatives, who were standing not far from Yang Guang, suddenly knelt down because their legs went weak.

An older man clutched his head and knocked over a folding table next to him, scattering paper money all over the floor.

Lin Ran's mother was completely stunned.

She stared intently at her daughter, who was sitting up in the coffin, her lips trembling violently, and she actually took a step toward the coffin.

"slowly?"

"Mom... Mom's Ranran, is that you?"

Lin Yue reacted quickly, rushing forward and grabbing Lin Ran's mother's waist, pulling her back forcefully.

"Auntie, come back quickly!"

Lin Yue grabbed Lin Ran's mother with one hand and Lin Ran's father's arm with the other.

Both of them were trembling violently, but their eyes were full of reluctance.

They are not afraid.

Because she was his own daughter.

Yang Guang frowned as he stared at Lin Ran, who sat up from the coffin. He didn't quite understand what kind of creature had such audacity.

Lin Ran's soul had just been sent away by his own hands, and now something is causing trouble?

Just as the funeral hall was in chaos, a group of relatives ran towards a corner of the hall, calling out for their parents.

He kept shouting, "Master Jia!"

"Master Jia, wake up! Help!"

in the corner.

A skinny old man lay on a long, narrow bench.

He was in his early seventies, and his hair was so thin that you could count the individual strands.

He was wearing a drab gray jacket with two patches on it.

He was wearing a pair of yellow rubber shoes with his toes sticking out, and a piece of the sole on his right shoe was missing. He was snoring, and drool was dripping down the side of the bench.

He was still clutching half a chicken leg that he hadn't finished eating.

This is Master Jia, whom Lin Ran's family hired to handle the funeral arrangements.

His real name is Jia Youcai.

He is known as the "ceiling" of metaphysics in Fengdu City.

Of course.

He sealed the ceiling himself.

In reality, he's just a charlatan Taoist priest who swindles and cheats people everywhere.

With his silver tongue and persuasive skills, he has traveled all over the country for decades, making a living by taking on funeral work.

"Master Jia, wake up!"

A relative grabbed Jia Youcai by the collar and shook him violently.

The chicken leg that Jia Youcai was eating fell to the ground.

He groggily opened his eyes, looking completely bewildered: "Wha...what happened?"

"Master Jia, he's come back to life!"

"The person in the coffin has sat up!"

"Please prepare it quickly!"

Jia Youcai's mind was still a little fuzzy. He rubbed his eyes and yawned.

A zombie?

What are you bluffing about...?

He turned his head and looked at the center of the mourning hall.

The corpse sitting in the coffin had its head tilted to the side, its dead fish eyes staring blankly across the mourning hall.

Jia Youcai's eyes widened instantly.

The yawn got stuck in his throat, and the snoring stopped abruptly.

He froze for three seconds as if he had been struck by a pressure point.

then.

"Holy crap!"

Jia Youcai turned around and tried to run away.

He kicked the bench over, and it crashed onto the concrete floor with a loud thud.

But he hadn't even taken two steps.

Three or four relatives grabbed his arm, just like they would a defender intercepting a ball-handling defender.

"Master Jia, where are you running to?"

"You're a professional!"

"We paid eight thousand yuan to invite you here!"

"We're counting on you to step up in these crucial moments!"

Jia Youcai's legs slipped on the ground as he struggled desperately like a chicken being lifted up: "Let go, let go of me!"

"This old man isn't feeling well today; my magical power is insufficient!"

"I need to go back and charge my phone!"

But the group of relatives didn't give him a chance at all. They grabbed him and threw him at the front of the mourning hall like a sandbag.

Jia Youcai slipped and stumbled to a position two meters in front of the coffin.

He managed to stand firm.

But when he turned his head, the corpse was staring right at him.

It's practically within reach.

Especially those dull, lifeless, grayish-white eyes, staring blankly.

There was no focus, no pupil, yet I was staring at him.

Jia Youcai's calf began to cramp uncontrollably.

He frantically pulled a peach wood sword from his bag. The sword looked like the kind you'd find at the Yiwu wholesale market for 9.9 yuan with free shipping; the paint was almost completely peeling off.

Jia Youcai held the peach wood sword with both hands, pointing it tremblingly at Lin Ran in the coffin, the tip of the sword shaking like a leaf.

"You...you shouldn't have come back!"

Jia Youcai's voice was distorted, but he still forced a serious tone: "Humans have their way, and ghosts have theirs!"

"Life and death are preordained; the living and the dead are separated!"

"If you really want what's best for your parents, then hurry up and report to the underworld!"

"Don't linger!"

Jia Youcai swallowed hard and thrust his sword forward again: "Otherwise... otherwise don't blame me for wiping you out!"

He kept praying in his heart.

Please, sister!

Are you intimidated by me?

Are you intimidated by my imposing presence?

Run!

If you run away, I'll run away too. If we each take a step back, the sky will be vast and the sea will be boundless. If we take a step forward, it will be hell. Can't we just let each other be at a disadvantage?

The entire room fell silent for two seconds.

The corpse's head, which had been tilted to one side, slowly straightened.

then.

Its mouth began to turn up.

Slowly, eerily, it opened up little by little.

The smile stretched from the corner of his mouth to his cheekbone, an amplitude far beyond what human facial muscles could achieve.

The funeral hall erupted in screams once again.

Jia Youcai's tears immediately streamed down his face.

It’s over.

We're doomed!

I've been a fake Taoist priest my whole life, traveling all over the country and deceiving people for decades, and I actually met a real one before I retired.

Is there really karma at work?

But given the current situation, even if he wanted to run away, he couldn't.

The group of relatives behind him blocked his escape route completely, as tightly as clogging a sewer.

Jia Youcai only has one path left.

practice!

Even if it's fake, you have to make it look impressive!

Jia Youcai clenched his teeth, drew a circle in the air with his right hand holding the peach wood sword, and made a hand gesture with his left hand that he had learned from a short video.

Then open your mouth and start reciting.

"Heavenly spirits, earthly spirits..."

Stuck.

What comes after "heavenly spirits, earthly spirits"?

His mind went completely blank.

But you can't stop talking!

The moment you stop talking, that thing will pounce!

Thus, the last remaining vocabulary in Jia Youcai's mind was completely activated.

All sorts of random things came out.

He was muttering to himself, his words indistinct and coming out very quickly.

The relatives couldn't understand it, but they thought that Master Jia must be chanting some profound incantation.

But as Yang Guang stared at Jia Youcai's rapidly moving lips, his entire face turned completely black.

Others wouldn't understand.

But Yang Guang saw it clearly.

Old Deng's lips were clearly singing "Pleasant Goat, Beautiful Goat, Lazy Goat, Boiling Goat..."

"Don't underestimate me just because I'm a sheep..."

Yang Guang's fist hardened.

how?

Are you trying to make Lin Ran, who has come back to life, recall her childhood, stir up the lingering pain deep in her heart, and make her obediently go back to lie on the board?

What kind of incredible feat is this?

A corpse rose from the mourning hall!

The scene was extremely terrifying at one point. You're singing Pleasant Goat and Big Big Wolf here?

You think the atmosphere at the event wasn't abstract enough, right?

P.S.: Thanks to reader 狅放_书友 for the ten love letters! I received them, but whether I accept or not is another matter, hehehe.