I'm a web novelist, and you want me to work in the entertainment industry?

The old man didn't doubt Cheng Che at all. He nodded and said, "In that case, I won't stand on ceremony. Please thank your director for me."

"Of course," Cheng Che said solemnly.

"You want these two mushrooms, right?" The old man got up, pulled out two bags, and filled them with the few chanterelles and porcini mushrooms he had on his stall.

"There weren't many to begin with, so I'll give them all to you."

"Oh my god!" Cheng Che clapped his hands. "Since you're so stubborn, I won't let you suffer a loss."

"To be honest, I also have a hiking pole here; you can take it with you!"

"Then I won't stand on ceremony." The old man laughed heartily, feeling that this transaction was truly exhilarating!

The old man handed the mushrooms to Cheng Che, then carefully examined the young couple in front of him.

"Hey, young man, come here for a second, I have something good for you." He beckoned.

Cheng Che didn't understand, but he still went over.

Tian Xiwei stood still, looking obedient.

"Young man, I found this on the mountain today. I felt a connection with you, so I'm giving it all to you!"

The old man lowered his voice and mysteriously handed Cheng Che a small handful of pink things that looked like mushrooms or grass.

"This 'Pillar to Heaven' is a real treasure!"

"These were just picked from the mountain, absolutely fresh. You can take them home to soak in alcohol or make soup; they're good for nourishing the kidneys and boosting virility!"

Your girlfriend will definitely be happy!

When the old man said those last words, he almost used a breathy voice.

However, all of this was still recorded without missing a single word by Cheng Che, thanks to the top-of-the-line recording equipment the production team had purchased.

【What the heck? Kidney tonic and aphrodisiac? That's not for old men...】

[666 These red mushrooms are so rampant? Not only are they named "Optimus Prime," but they can also supposedly boost kidney function?]

[This generation of netizens has terrible hearing... The old man was talking about "Ding Tian Zhu" (顶天柱), also known as "Wen Wang Yi Zhi Bi" (文王一只笔), scientifically named "Hui Chun Cao" (回春草), a traditional Chinese medicine with effects of strengthening the body, invigorating the kidneys, and replenishing yang.]

Is this "pillar reaching for the sky" the "pillar reaching for the sky" I was thinking of?

[Does this old man know how to read faces? Did he see that Che-ge looks a bit weak, or that Xiao-tian looks a bit like a tyrannosaurus rex?]

[Hahaha, no wonder everyone in Yunnan is a social media addict! Even the random old man in the market has something to show!]

For us people of Yunnan Province, using the internet is as simple as eating.

"...!?"

The old man talked a lot, but Cheng Che didn't understand much of it.

All I know is that this herb is supposedly called "Optimus Prime" and can "strengthen the kidneys and replenish yang," so his "girlfriend" would definitely like it.

In just one sentence, he actually discovered three problems.

First of all, this red mushroom is actually called Optimus Prime?

666, I didn't realize your pinkish thing was so hard!

Secondly, what does it mean to "strengthen the kidneys and replenish yang"?

Do I look like some kind of weak or insecure person?

In the end... she wasn't even my girlfriend!

Despite the old man's words and actions being full of flaws, Cheng Che ultimately chose to remain silent in order to prevent further trouble.

He quietly put the small handful of "Optimus Prime" into his pocket and walked back to Tian Xiwei's side.

"What's wrong? What did the old man want with you?" Tian Xiwei asked immediately.

In your twenties, you're at the age when curiosity is at its peak.

"The old man said he can read faces and could take a look at mine." Cheng Che's greatest talent was lying through his teeth.

"Oh? What did he say?"

"He said I walk with the stride of a dragon and the gait of a tiger, have a voice like a booming bell, possess imposing cheekbones, and a heavy chin." Cheng Che said with a serious face, "I have all nine noble bones. Such a face is the mark of an emperor, and should not be spoken of lightly to others."

That makes sense. Doesn't the "emperor" on Chinese websites count as an emperor?

"...?" Tian Xiwei smiled. "Actually, I can also read faces."

"Oh? Then what do you say?"

"I observe that your steps are unsteady, your face is pale, and your eyes are lifeless."

Tian Xiwei transformed into a charlatan, speaking in a mystical tone, and moved her hand back and forth in front of Cheng Che.

"This is a classic sign of...kidney deficiency!"

I can tell who's talking nonsense and who has real skills just by listening!

[If I call you Your Majesty the Emperor, would you dare to update "Dragon Raja" a little more tonight?]

[No mole, just some drama about Che-ge's kidney deficiency.]

You know what, the phrase "kidney deficiency" somehow seems to fit the image of an "online novel author" quite well.

"...I will not comment until my lawyer arrives," Cheng Che said expressionlessly.

"Ms. Defendant."

"Hey, young man, the plaintiff," Tian Xiwei said with a grin, "did I hit a nerve?"

"..."

Cheng Che stated that he has the right to remain silent.

"It's okay." Tian Xiwei patted Cheng Che's shoulder casually. "It's just kidney deficiency. Medical technology is so advanced now, it can be cured. Physical fitness can also be improved through training."

Hmm, if it really can't be cured... that's okay too.

She doesn't mind!

……

……

By the time Cheng Che and Tian Xiwei returned to the courtyard, it was almost dinnertime.

A pot has already been set up on the dining table in the yard.

"You two are finally back!" Xia Ziyi was eagerly watching the pot simmering at the bottom of the pot when she heard the noise at the door and immediately waved.

"Have you already started cooking?" Tian Xiwei was quite surprised.

"After all, you've found all the mushrooms!"

Cheng Che's gaze first swept over the dining table, then turned to the corner of the yard—

Yan Lei was squatting there... playing in the mud?

"What is Teacher Yan doing?" Cheng Che asked.

"Teacher Yan said that eating hot pot alone is a bit monotonous, and she wants to set up a grill to grill some mushrooms," Xu Anan explained from the side.

"Teacher Yan used loess dug from a burrow!" Liu Xianhua emphasized.

"I also wish him that he wouldn't be buried in the yellow earth... just a straw!"

Cheng Che and Tian Xiwei scratched their heads, looking at Xu Anan with blank expressions.

What is this guy mumbling about?

"He said he wished Teacher Yan wouldn't be buried halfway in the earth," Xu Anan translated in standard Mandarin.

Cheng Che and Tian Xiwei chuckled in disbelief.

[Dahua's relationship with "standard Mandarin" in this life is the same as my relationship with Kassel College...nothing at all!]

May all fellow Daoists also avoid being buried alive in the yellow earth.

Don't you all care about Teacher Yan? He's going to roast mushrooms, and he's going to build his own oven and roast them himself...

"By the way, when did Teacher Yan get back?" Cheng Che asked.

"They've been back for over half an hour, even earlier than we got to the yard," Xia Ziyi answered quickly.

"Teacher Yan is quite amazing! She picked a lot of mushrooms, and even found the chanterelle mushrooms that we couldn't find!"

"Really?" Cheng Che was quite surprised.

Did Teacher Yan's luck improve after arriving in Dali?