I'm a web novelist, and you want me to work in the entertainment industry?

Grandpa Xie stuffed the cigarette case into his pocket, picked up his stool, and walked forward, his flip-flops making a clattering sound on the stone pavement.

After turning two corners, they pushed open the half-closed wooden door and entered the courtyard.

The yard wasn't big, but it was kept tidy.

A few clumps of unnamed wildflowers sprouted from the cracks in the bluestone pavement, and a number of seafood items—dried shrimp, dried mussels, and small salted fish—were neatly arranged on the drying rack against the wall.

The most eye-catching thing is the fig tree, whose trunk is so thick that it can almost block out an adult. Its canopy is like a giant umbrella, covering most of the yard.

The branches were laden with fruit, each purplish-red peel stretched almost to the point of transparency, revealing glimpses of the flesh inside—a sight that made one's mouth water.

"What a huge fig tree..." Tian Xiwei looked up at the tree, her voice full of amazement.

"Impressive, isn't it?" the old man said proudly. "This tree is over forty years old, older than both of you."

"Want some? If you do, I'll twist two up for you right now."

"No need to trouble you, sir. Let's go inside first," Tian Xiwei waved her hand repeatedly.

"That's fine too."

After passing through the courtyard, Cheng Che and Tian Xiwei followed the old man into the main room.

Cheng Che quickly glanced around the living room:

The old-fashioned wooden table and chairs were polished to a shine, and a white tablecloth was laid on the table. In the center was a glass ashtray and a plate of peanuts.

An old-fashioned refrigerator stood in the corner, its door covered with colorful refrigerator magnets: the Great Wall, West Lake, Oriental Pearl Tower, Guilin landscape... a dense array covering the entire wall.

There was an old photo frame on the wall containing a black and white group photo. The edges were brittle and yellowed. The photo showed a young couple standing next to a sapling, smiling brightly.

"Sit wherever you like, make yourself at home," Grandpa Xie said, plopping down in a chair and casually flicking a cigarette into his mouth.

However, after catching a glimpse of the photographer's terrified expression, he sheepishly withdrew his gaze.

The old man thought for a moment, then got up, walked to the old refrigerator in the corner, and pulled open the door.

The refrigerator was crammed full, with hardly any proper food, just drinks—cola, green tea, iced tea, beer… you name it, it had it.

"Come on, don't be shy." The old man took out three cans of cola and, without giving any chance to refuse, first gave one can to Cheng Che and then another to Tian Xiwei.

Finally, he looked at the photographer and, seeing that the photographer's hands were both busy, stuffed the iced cola into his pants pocket.

hiss--

The cool touch against his thigh through the pocket sent a shiver down the photographer's spine, and the camera lens visibly shook.

Goodness, does this old man run a small shop? This is such a lavish spread!

[666 What kind of dream box is this?! Grandpa, doesn't your wife care about you?]

Do you know how tempting it is to see a refrigerator like this when you're thirsty on a hot summer day?

Why did the footage shake? Is the cameraman even capable of this?!

[The stress photographer is here.]

"Drink up, don't be shy." After saying that, the old man opened a 1L bottle of iced tea, tilted his head back and took a big gulp, letting out a satisfied sigh.

Seeing this, Cheng Che and Tian Xiwei each opened their Coke cans and took a sip.

At this moment, Grandpa Xie put down his iced tea and glanced back and forth across their faces.

"Are you two dating?" the old man asked, his question never failing to surprise.

"Cough cough cough—" Tian Xiwei choked on the cola, coughing until tears almost came out.

Cheng Che almost choked too. He waved his hand and said, "Grandpa, you've misunderstood. We're just partners that the production team put together."

[Misunderstanding? I don't think so.]

[A pairing brought together by the production team? I doubt it.]

See? I told you these two looked perfect together!

"Oh, oh." Grandpa Xie nodded, his expression seeming to believe him, but it was hard to say for sure.

There was a two-second silence.

"Then—can your production team assign me a partner? Can you assign me one too?" The old man once again surprised everyone with his words.

"...?"

Cheng Che and Tian Xiwei both fell silent.

[Hahahaha, grandpa, what good does it do you to make me laugh so hard?]

【Give me one too】

[This old man's brain is truly amazing!]

[10000 people have written a petition requesting Wang Zheng to have Grandpa Xie as a guest on the next episode (1/10,000)]

"This..." Tian Xiwei struggled to organize her thoughts, but after thinking for a long time, she still didn't know what to say.

She instinctively looked at Cheng Che for help.

"Grandpa, listen to me, this isn't a dating show." Upon receiving Xiaotian's plea for help, Cheng Che immediately spoke up.

"However—" he changed the subject, "if you really have this need, it's not impossible."

"The camera is right here. If you need, you can introduce yourself directly to a national audience."

[What the hell? He's introducing himself to a nationwide audience.]

Sometimes, I really want to dissect Cheng Che's brain to see what he's thinking.

Your brother Cheng Che is a complete genius, a god among men.

[Oda should stick to being a Spirit Orb; the Demon Orb track is too crowded.]

I'm begging you, Wang Zheng, please get my brother Che signed all the remaining contracts as soon as possible. Give him whatever he wants!

"Is this for real?" The old man thought Cheng Che's words made sense. "Wait a moment."

After he finished speaking, he ran to the bedroom, found a wrinkled black suit from somewhere, and put it on over his white vest.

He awkwardly buttoned up his suit jacket, his belly protruding, his expression solemn, and began his self-introduction:

"Hello everyone, my surname is Xie, I am 68 years old, I live in Mihai, I am unmarried and have no children, and my hobby is playing the erhu..."

Before she could finish speaking, Tian Xiwei couldn't hold back any longer and quickly covered her mouth to stop herself from laughing out loud.

Cheng Che looked up at the sky, and the cameraman's camera trembled slightly.

The old man remained completely unaffected, earnestly explaining his situation, and adding at the end, "Those interested, please contact the program team. Serious inquiries only."

[I laughed so hard my neighbor was about to call the police!]

[This old man's marriage proposal is way too formal, hahaha!]

[My uncle asked you to introduce him to someone, Wang Zheng, are you some kind of idiot?!]

After chatting with the old man for a while, Cheng Che finally brought up the important matter.

"Sir, let's get down to business," he said. "Our crew is here today to help with some work. Is there anything we can help you with?"

"Work?" Grandpa Xie blinked. "You want to work?"

Tian Xiwei nodded: "Yes, anything is fine, just tell me what you need."

The old man had a strange expression, as if to say, "I've never heard of such an abstract request before."

"Alright, you guys wait for me to think about it..." The old man crossed his legs, his flip-flops dangling from his feet.

"Why don't you come with me to pick figs?"