Genshin Impact: Watch me turn the tables and kill my servants at the start!

When Fanes pushed open the rickety wooden door, the sunlight outside made him squint, but the scene he saw next made the bump on his forehead suddenly feel less painful.

More than a dozen members of the treasure-hunting gang lay sprawled on the open ground outside the stronghold, their faces bruised and swollen, their armor askew. Some were rolling on the ground clutching their legs, some were curled up in a ball covering their faces, and two were piled up together like a stack of firewood.

Fatty Shui stood in the middle of the pile of "spoils of war," the muzzle of the heavy water cannon in his hand still emitting blue smoke, a satisfied smile on his round face that said, "I can finally make a move."

Standing nearby were seven or eight members of the Fools' advance team, some carrying rifles and others carrying muskets, all looking spirited, as if they were admiring the fruits of their labor.

Fanes stood on the threshold for two seconds, then looked down at the still-present red mark on his wrist, and then at the pile of fallen treasure hunters.

Fanes walked away.

With quick steps, his short legs moved as if springs were in the soles of his feet. Fanes walked straight past the members of the treasure-hunting team who were lying haphazardly on the ground, and walked to the leader who was being forced to kneel on the ground at the very back. The man had a face full of scars, his left cheek was swollen, and one eye was already narrowed to a slit. He was being held down by two advance team members and could not move.

Fanes stopped in front of him, looked down at him, and then raised his hand and slapped him twice across the face.

*Slap. Slap.*

The sound was crisp and clear. The two slaps made Fanes' own palms go numb. He shook his reddened palms, took a deep breath, and shouted at the top of his lungs at the leader of the treasure-hunting group who was stunned by the slaps.

"Damn it! They even dared to tie me up! Beat them to death!"

Fatty Shui responded from the side, his laughter both honest and excited: "Alright, sir! Just you wait and see!"

Then he walked over and clumsily but mercilessly kicked the leader in the shin. The leader screamed in pain and fell to the ground.

Fanes straightened up and rubbed his wrists, feeling that his strength had increased considerably after all that commotion.

Yakoda followed him out of the door. When she saw the scene outside, her eyes lit up. She didn't even bother to straighten her cat-ear hat, which was askew. She ran to Shui Pang's side and craned her neck to look at the members of the treasure-hunting team who had been beaten down, muttering to herself.

"Wow! Brother Water Fatty, you're amazing! That person's helmet flew off! Wow, look, that person's pants are ripped!"

Shui Pang blushed at the praise and scratched the back of his head: "Hehe, it's nothing, it's nothing. I'm so glad you're alright, we were so scared."

Fanes walked to the edge of the open space and sat down on a relatively clean rock. He rubbed his forehead, which was still throbbing slightly, and then nodded his chin at Fatty Shui.

"They said another group of people went out to 'work' and haven't come back. We'll wait here, and if one comes, we'll catch him; if two come, we'll catch them both."

Shui Pang nodded knowingly, then turned and gestured to the advance team members. They immediately dispersed and hid behind bushes and corners around the stronghold, their movements as swift as if they had rehearsed countless times.

Water Fatty dragged the leader, whose face was swollen from being slapped, into an empty room next door, locked the door, and then went back to squat next to Fanes, asking in a low voice, "Sir, why do you have a bump on your head? Did they beat you up?"

Fanes touched the bulge, his lips twitching. "They didn't hit me. Something else did it."

He didn't specify what it was, and Fatty Shui didn't press him for details. Yakoda, squatting nearby, had already picked up a twig and was drawing circles on the ground, humming a tune from Nordkalai. You couldn't tell that just half an hour ago she was rolling her eyes and shouting, "I'm still so young, I don't want to die."

After about the time it takes for two incense sticks to burn, footsteps and laughter came from the path outside the stronghold. Fanes' ears twitched, and he gave Water Fatty a wink.

Water Fatty nodded knowingly, then shrank into the shadows behind the door like a wall. Fanes himself took two steps back, crouched down against the wall, and curled up behind the wooden barrel next to the threshold.

The footsteps grew closer. The first to return were two members of the treasure-hunting gang, carrying cloth bags. The two were chatting about things like, "This batch of goods is of good quality," and "The buyer in the north will definitely be satisfied."

The moment they pushed open the door and walked in, the advance team members who were lying in ambush on both sides of the door pounced on them almost simultaneously.

A long spear swept across, sending the man on the left flying off the threshold. The man on the right didn't even have time to cry out before a standard-issue dagger was pressed against his lower back, leaving him frozen in place like a clay statue.

The second and third groups that returned were then subjected to the same treatment at the entrance of the stronghold. In less than the time it takes for an incense stick to burn, all seven members of the returning treasure-hunting team were pinned to the ground, with none escaping.

When the advance team dragged them to the center of the open space and threw them together with the previous group, they still had a bewildered expression on their faces, as if they were wondering, "Who am I? Where am I? What just happened?"

Fanes emerged from behind the barrel, dusting off his coat. He glanced at the newly added "goods" on the ground, then knelt down in front of the last member of the heist who had been pinned down.

The man looked at the child squatting in front of him, his expression still showing a hint of "Am I dreaming?"

"Do you know who you've tied up?" Fanes asked, tilting his head.

The man opened his mouth: "I...I don't know..."

"The twelfth seat of the Fools." Fanes' voice wasn't loud, but the "you're finished" meaning in his tone was so clear it was written all over his face.

The man's face went from blank to deathly pale, then to a deep liver color. He opened his mouth as if to say something, but in the end, he uttered nothing but a muffled whimper.

Fanes stood up, took two steps back, and waved at the fat man: "Strike them! Strike them to death! Hang them up and whip them! I'll whip them until their own mothers wouldn't recognize them!"

Shui Pang was extremely efficient. In less than the time it takes to drink half a cup of tea, the crooked old locust tree at the entrance of the stronghold was full of members of the treasure-hunting gang. They were all hanging upside down from the branches by their ankles, head down and feet up, like a row of freshly picked cured meat.

The advance team members cracked their whips, producing a series of sharp cracks as they lashed the backs of the treasure-hunting gang members. Screams echoed through the valley, startling several nests of birds in the trees into flight.

The Treasure Thieves successfully offered 100 free draws upon logging in.

Fanes moved a rock and sat down to watch the "collective beating," when at some point, Akoda slipped a piece of candy into his hand.

Fanes unwrapped the candy and popped it into his mouth. The sweetness melted on his tongue. Looking at the members of the treasure-hunting gang hanging upside down, howling as they were whipped, he felt that the end of this wilderness trip was quite satisfactory.

After about a hundred slaps, Fanes looked at the men, their bodies swollen like steamed buns, and knew it was about time. He stood up, clapped his hands, and called out to Fatty Shui:

"Alright, alright, stop killing him. Drag him to the Thousand Rock Army."

Water Fatty accepted the order and, with a few advance team members, untied the half-dead members of the treasure-hunting group from the trees, tied them up in bunches, and herded them towards Liyue Harbor like sheep.

Phanes and Jakoda walked at the head of the group, their dark coats fluttering slightly in the wind. Beside them was a little girl with light blonde hair and a cat-ear hat. Behind them was a string of members of the treasure-hunting gang who had been thoroughly beaten, and behind them was the smug advance team of the Fools.

When the group arrived at the entrance of the Qianyan Army's garrison, the Qianyan Army soldiers on guard were taken aback at first, and then suddenly gripped their spears tightly.

"Stop! Who goes there!"

Fatty Shui stepped forward, a smile plastered on his honest, round face: "Don't be nervous, don't be nervous. We, the Fools, have captured a group of human traffickers and brought them here specifically to you!"

The Thousand Rock Army soldier looked at Shui Pang's goofy grin, then at the group of treasure-hunting members behind him who had been beaten so badly their own mothers wouldn't recognize them. His expression changed from "warning" to "disbelief," and then from "disbelief" to "Are you sure you didn't bully people and then try to shift the blame onto us?" But he still turned around and went inside to call his superior out.

The commander of the Thousand Rock Army was a middle-aged man with a resolute face. He came out and glanced at the group of treasure hunters who were tied up tightly. He then looked at Fanes and the Water Fat, and his gaze lingered for a moment on Fanes's Fool's Coat.

Before he could speak, Yakoda had already darted out from the ranks, tilting her head back and staring at the Thousand Rock Army commander with her bright, sparkling eyes, and said in a clear voice, "Uncle! They're human traffickers! They locked me and lots of other children in a dark room! They said they were going to sell us to the north!"

The officer's expression changed noticeably after hearing those words. He turned to look at the bruised and battered members of the treasure-hunting gang, his suspicion gradually replaced by another emotion. He waved for his soldiers to go and fetch the people, then turned and took two steps back before stopping.

The officer's voice wasn't loud, but it carried a calmness unique to the Thousand Rock Army. "Take them back. Cook them a pot of millet, and let them eat their fill while it's hot."