Huayu 2005: Chat groups are full of real celebrities

[Penguin QQ]: "Little Fairy with Teeth" requests to add you as a friend.

[Verification message: Brother Xiaoyao, I am Ling'er!]

Jiang Bei had only been in this world for half a minute, and before he could even sort out the original owner's memories, his Nokia 7610 shuddered.

A friend request popped up.

Jiang Bei glanced at it.

Brother Xiaoyao?

Ling'er?

Wow, this generation of netizens really knows how to have fun, offering a full range of cosplay services, huh?

He thought it was one of the original owner's silly netizens, so he casually clicked "accept".

next second.

[“Little Fairy with Teeth” invites you to join the group chat “The Cult Leader’s Harem Dinner Group”]

Jiang Bei's fingers moved faster than his brain, and he clicked "accept" without thinking.

In the blink of an eye, the person had joined the group.

The group wasn't large, just over a dozen people.

From the group name to the members, it doesn't seem very proper at all.

Group name: [The Cult Leader's Harem Dinner Group]

Members: Hxm111 [Group Owner], Tooth Flower Fairy, Idle Man Kun, Yang Mi Beauty, Comfortable Because of Comfort, Little Whirlwind Jimmy, Lucky Star Zhao-vv, Walking Hormones...

And then there's this newly joined "fermented version of Hugo."

Jiangbei fell silent.

Good guy.

All-star lineup.

If you didn't know better, you'd think it was a roundtable discussion in the Chinese entertainment industry.

I know...

This is obviously a scam group.

I reckon we won't chat for long before he starts recommending stocks, investing in mines, or overseas funds, and then casually asks to borrow thirty-five yuan for short-term financing.

Having undergone years of anti-fraud propaganda, Jiangbei has only one comment on this—

This kind of trick is so old that even a dog would find it cliché.

I'm about to leave the group at lightning speed.

Suddenly, the group messages started flooding in.

Teeth Fairy: "I just got a terrible haircut, I'm too embarrassed to show my face [/facepalm]"

Hxm111: "@Little Fairy with Teeth, [laughing][laughing][laughing] I'll help you next time!"

Xianren Yikun: "@Hxm111, bro, are you in Beijing? I'll go back in a couple of days and we'll have a couple of drinks."

Hxm111: "@Xianrenyikun, Brother Kun, you're working late into the night on the set of 'The Great Han Dynasty 3,' which won't wrap up until July."

Hxm111: "@Everyone, who's in Hengdian? Let's go out and have some fun after work, it's on me!"

Yang Mi, the beautiful lady: "@Hxm111, senior brother, can you bring your friends? I'm with Brother Xiaoyao in the 'Strange Tales from a Chinese Studio' production team next door."

……

Jiangbei was increasingly confused.

I had just traveled back to 2005 when I was pulled into this ridiculous QQ group.

Everyone in the group was incredibly engrossed in their role.

They talk about the film crew when they open their mouths, and about wrapping up work when they close them.

If you didn't know better, you'd really think they were all celebrities.

Unfortunately, they were all scammers.

Jiangbei wasn't fooled at all. Just as he was about to leave the chat, someone tagged him.

Yang Mi, the beautiful actress: "@FermentedHuGe, ??? Brother Xiaoyao, is this your alternate account?"

Jiang Bei's lips curled slightly.

Oh, so you're already trying to get on my good side?

It seems even scammers know how to proceed gradually.

First build a relationship, then scam money.

Their tactics are quite professional.

He immediately became interested.

A scam? Well, let's give it a try.

Let's see who can fool whom.

After a moment's hesitation, he typed out a line of text in a serious tone:

"@Everyone, I'm Lao Liu from 2026, V50, you can consult me ​​about important future events."

The group was silent for a second, then...

Hxm111: "???"

Idle Man Kun: "???"

Beautiful Yang Mi: "V50?"

Jiangbei then realized that it was still 2005, and Weixin (a messaging app) was nowhere to be found yet, so he added:

"V50 is the payment method of the future."

It means fifty yuan for one question about the future!

Idle Man Kun: "Damn, a scammer!"

Hxm111: "How did this guy sneak in?"

Teeth-Blossom Fairy: "@Everyone, oh dear, my bad. I entered the wrong number in my QQ account and added the wrong person! [/awkward][/awkward]"

He then tagged the group admin: "@Hxm111, Guo'er, quickly kick this person out!"

Just as Hxm111 was about to call for participants, Yang Mi, the beautiful lady, chimed in again:

"@FermentedHugo: Then tell me, will I ever become famous?"

Jiangbei was delighted when he saw it.

Are you still playing along with my act?

Then let's continue.

He replied in a very serious tone:

"Are you really Yang Mi? The 34D Yang Mi!"

The message had just been sent when there was an eerie two-second silence in the group.

Subsequently, Hxm111:

"[Thumbs up][Evil grin][Grinning face]"

Yang Mi, the beautiful actress: "[Fire][Fire][Fire] You're only 34D! Your whole family is 34D!"

Jiangbei replied slowly:

"If it really is Yang Mi, then I can tell you in advance that she is destined to become famous."

"And it's incredibly popular, second only to the celestial beauty."

Yang Mi, the beautiful actress: "A celestial being?"

Jiang Bei slapped his forehead, realizing he'd almost forgotten that no one called him that at this time of year, so he explained:

"Um, it's Liu Tianxian, the fairy sister."

The next second, Yang Mi directly tagged the "toothy fairy" (a nickname for a girl with prominent teeth):

"[/admiration][/admiration], Sisi, this liar is definitely your biggest fan!"

They actually said you'd be Liu Tianyi (a famous Chinese actress) in the future!

Teeth Fairy: "[Sweating][Sweating][Sweating], @Hxm111, are you going to kick me or not? If not, I'm quitting!"

Hxm111 not only didn't kick anyone, but actually seemed quite interested:

"Then tell me, who is my future wife? Just pretend I'm Huang Xiaoming."

Jiang Bei smirked and quickly typed out a line of text:

"Too many secrets of heaven cannot be revealed; I can only say that his surname is Yang."

The group chat went silent immediately.

Hxm111 stared at the screen, lost in thought.

Then, the beautiful Yang Mi jumped out:

"Tch, why don't you just call me a celestial being! My relationship with my senior brother is purely that of classmates! Purer than mineral water!"

Jiangbei calmly replied with five words: "This Yang is not that Yang."

After saying that, he couldn't help but laugh.

Some things are better left unsaid.

If we really put it all out there, what if it all comes true later? Wouldn't these swindlers think they're monsters?

Meanwhile, the atmosphere in the group chat had been completely swayed.

The group, who were originally prepared to kick someone, suddenly became interested.

No one cared about getting Jiang Bei out of the way; instead, they all wanted to tease this self-proclaimed charlatan from the future.

after all--

This guy is really good at creating a show.

A few seconds later,

Teeth-Blossom Fairy: "Then tell me, what does my journey to this island nation hold?"

Jiang Bei stared at the screen, slightly taken aback.

Teeth-flower fairy...

It's obvious without even guessing that this guy is playing Liu Yifei.

The username is quite fitting, and the "tooth flower" design is indeed beautiful.

She just said she added the wrong QQ number and accidentally pulled herself into this weird group.

After thinking for a moment, Jiangbei slowly typed out a sentence:

"Buying high and selling low is a good strategy. Unfortunately, two things were overlooked!"

Teeth-Blossom Fairy: "What is it?"

Jiangbei didn't hesitate:

"First of all, Liu Tianxian's foundation has always been in China. Going to develop in an island country is tantamount to crippling herself and putting the cart before the horse!"

Secondly, with her voice... who gave her the courage to sing? Liang Jingru?

The message had just been sent when the group was silent for a moment, and then...

Teeth Flower Fairy: "[/dagger][/dagger][/dagger]".

The beautiful Yang Mi immediately jumped out:

What do you know!

Sisi signed with Sony Music Entertainment Headquarters!

The only female artist signed by the entire Xia Kingdom!

Pride permeates every word.

Jiangbei, however, remained remarkably calm:

"So what?"

"No amount of capital can save someone who is tone-deaf."

"In the end, he still didn't have a single representative work."

After the message was sent, the entire group fell silent.

After several seconds, the little fairy with the dimpled teeth finally uttered a sentence:

"@Hxm111, if you don't kick him, I'm going to post the video of you drunkenly hugging a telephone pole and yelling 'Auntie' online!"

He was clearly furious.

Hxm111 immediately backed down, but instead of kicking the person, he used this opportunity to send a message:

"@FermentedHugo, bro, don't say I didn't give you a chance. If you can really give @ToothBlossomFairy some reliable advice, not only will I not kick you out today... but when we get back to Beijing, I'll treat you to drinks!"

Jiang Bei raised an eyebrow.

He didn't expect that this group of people would care so much about Liu Tianxian.

Could it be some kind of fan club?

But then I thought, since the "future man" has already made such a boast, if he doesn't produce some real substance, he'll really just be a fraud.

Moreover, before he transmigrated, he was a senior music and variety show producer at a television station.

He knows the trends, packaging, operation, and scandals in the entertainment industry better than many people in the industry.

Thinking of this, Jiang Bei lightly tapped the keyboard with his fingers.

After a three-second pause, he slowly uttered a sentence.

"I have two plans: one is a small-scale operation to preserve our domestic base, and the other is a large-scale operation to elevate her to legendary status in the Asia-Pacific region. Which one would you like to hear?"