Tang Dynasty: Taking the Empress Dowager to a brothel, Father Emperor, what a coincidence!

The massive crack began to spread wildly.

The river, carrying fragments of ice, surged forth and swallowed the fleeing Goguryeo soldiers whole.

"Help!"

"Give me a hand."

A heart-wrenching scream echoed across the river.

Those Goguryeo soldiers who were lucky enough to survive the explosion struggled in the river for a couple of moments before being dragged to the bottom by their heavy armor.

The second-generation rich kids on the shore were furious when they saw this.

"My money! Fuck you! Give me back my money!"

Cheng Chumo watched as one Goguryeo soldier after another sank to the bottom of the river, and roared in anguish.

Changsun Chong, holding up an unlit palm-sized thunderbolt, shouted:

"Don't drown! Swim to shore quickly, I still haven't found my five hundred strings of cash."

Fang Yi'ai was a man of action; he immediately grabbed a long pole and started pulling people out of the river.

Just then, on an ice floe not far from the shore.

Gao Yanshou, who had been knocked unconscious by the explosion, miraculously survived.

Cheng Chumo recognized the feathers on his helmet at a glance.

"Holy crap! There's a high-ranking official here."

After shouting, Cheng Chumo disregarded the coldness of the river water and rushed towards the floating ice.

Gao Yanshou didn't even have the strength to draw his sword at this point.

After Cheng Chumo swam over, he stepped on him.

"Don't move. Your head is worth far more than those lowlifes."

Cheng Chumo grabbed Gao Yanshou by his hair and dragged him ashore.

Gao Yanshou mumbled a few Goguryeo swear words.

He thought Cheng Chumo wouldn't understand.

Cheng Chumo spent many years wandering the streets and alleys of Chang'an. Although he didn't learn many languages, he learned all the swear words.

Seeing that Gao Yanshou dared to insult him, Cheng Chumo slapped him twice across the face.

Li Jing excitedly turned around and looked at Li Chengqian sitting there.

"Your Highness... this... you've already won?"

Li Jing felt that he had wasted decades studying military strategy.

"Three thousand elite cavalry were wiped out in less than half an hour? Not a single one of our men even suffered a scratch?"

Wei Zheng pointed to the wreckage floating on the river and said:

"This is against the natural order! Such power of heavenly thunder is simply against the natural order!"

Li Chengqian looked at Wei Zheng speechlessly:

"Lord Wei, if you think it's against the natural order, then next time the Goguryeo people charge through, you stand at the front and talk to them about Confucianism, and see if they listen."

Wei Zheng wisely shut up immediately.

He couldn't stand it, he wasn't stupid.

Li Chengqian waved to Xiao Shunzi:

"Go and have the soldiers clean up the battlefield. Don't waste the carcasses of the warhorses that were pulled up; give the brothers a treat."

Also, prepare writing materials; I need to report the victory to my father.

Xiao Shunzi quickly prepared paper and pen.

Li Chengqian stroked his chin and said:

"Write about the great victory at Liaoshui. The Crown Prince personally led the heavenly army, using cotton to keep warm as if bathed in a spring breeze, and the 100,000-strong army was not afraid of the severe cold. When they encountered a night attack by 3,000 enemy troops, I unleashed the Heavenly Punishment Palm Thunder, shattering the icy river and burying the enemy, annihilating the bandits, and suffering zero casualties on our side."

As Xiao Shunzi wrote, he muttered to himself: This battle report is written like a supernatural tale; will His Majesty believe it?

Li Chengqian then took out the stack of IOUs with red handprints from his pocket and handed them to Xiao Shunzi.

"Send these IOUs and battle reports back to Chang'an by express courier, covering 800 li."

"Also, urge Father Emperor in the letter; the expenses at the front are high, send money quickly."

......

Five days later, in Chang'an City, at the Taiji Hall.

Li Shimin, his face ashen, threw an account book on the ground.

"Okay. Very good."

"Zhao Deyan, the prefect of Pingzhou, embezzled disaster relief grain, seized fertile land, and disregarded human life. This account book even records the tributes he sent to various ministries in the capital; it truly broadens my horizons."

Li Shimin's cold gaze swept over the trembling officials below, finally landing on Changsun Wuji.

"Duke of Qi, your name, Changsun Wuji, is listed first in this category of skill. How do you explain that?"

Changsun Wuji quickly knelt down and kowtowed:

"Your Majesty, please understand! I have been wronged."

This must be that scoundrel Zhao Deyan using my name to swindle and deceive. I am utterly loyal to the Tang Dynasty and have never embezzled a single penny.

"Your Majesty, I will immediately return and thoroughly investigate the entire household. It must be some foolish servant who has taken bribes behind my back. I will show no leniency."

Changsun Wuji was very good at shifting the blame.

He simply handed it over to the "temporary worker" at home.

Li Shimin snorted coldly, knowing that a single account book was not enough to determine a death sentence.

"What about Wei Zheng and Cheng Yaojin?"

His temper flared up again at the mere mention of those two people.

"I sent them to Pingzhou to investigate the case, but these two old bastards submitted a memorial to me, saying they were infected with a serious illness and couldn't walk? They insisted on staying at the front line to recuperate?"

"They've gone all the way to the front lines to recuperate? Do they think I'm a fool? They've all been corrupted by the Crown Prince."

The civil and military officials all bowed their heads, none of them daring to respond.

Actually, these account books and fold sheets should have arrived long ago.

But when the deputy general was leaving, Cheng Yaojin told him to slow down on the road.

It took them ten days to get back to Chang'an.

Just then, footsteps sounded outside.

Li Junxian rushed into the main hall, holding a bamboo tube high in the air.

"Report! Urgent battle report from Liaodong, 800 li away!"

Everyone in the hall felt a jolt of anxiety.

How long has it been since the Crown Prince led his troops on the expedition? And now the battle report has already arrived?

A hint of smugness appeared in Changsun Wuji's eyes.

This must be because the crown prince gave a bad command and suffered a defeat.

Li Shimin hurriedly said:

"Quickly! Bring it here."

Wang De quickly ran downstairs, took the bamboo tube, and handed it to the imperial desk.

When Li Shimin opened it, his hands were trembling.

He was terrified of seeing the words "total annihilation".

However, when his gaze swept over the battle report, he was completely stunned.

The officials in the main hall were all secretly observing Li Shimin's expression.

What they saw was Li Shimin with a look of utter disbelief.

"His Majesty......"

Fang Xuanling mustered his courage and shouted.

"How is the situation at the front?"

Li Shimin took a deep breath, slammed the battle report onto the imperial desk, and said:

"We annihilated 3,000 elite enemy cavalry and captured the enemy commander Gao Yanshou alive."

Li Shimin paused.

"Zero casualties on our side."

boom!

The entire Taiji Hall erupted in chaos.

The military officers looked at each other, feeling like they were listening to a joke.

The civil officials, meanwhile, began whispering amongst themselves.

"Zero casualties and annihilation of three thousand cavalry? How is that possible?"

"Could it be that His Highness the Crown Prince can conjure soldiers from beans?"

Changsun Wuji looked at Li Shimin with an incredulous expression.

This is absolutely a lie.

Li Chengqian fabricated such an outrageous battle report in order to gain military merit.

Is this insane?

Li Shimin ignored the discussions below and continued reading the rest of the battle report.

The more I looked at it, the more absurd it seemed.

"Cotton provides warmth like a spring breeze? But a thunderbolt from the palm is like divine punishment descending upon the world, shattering icy rivers and burying enemy armies?"

Li Shimin was so angry he laughed.

"This rebellious son doesn't forget to write supernatural tales to fool me even while fighting a war."

Seeing that Li Shimin didn't seem to be in a bad mood, Wang De quickly took out a small cloth bag from his sleeve.

"Your Majesty, the messenger said that His Highness the Crown Prince also sent a letter home, along with some items."

"Give it to me."

Li Shimin opened the cloth bundle, inside was a letter written by Li Chengqian, which was full of requests for money.

The last part reads:

"If Your Majesty finds the national treasury empty, I have already found a way to generate wealth."

Enclosed are several receipts; I hope Father will follow the clues and find the respective officials to settle accounts.