Tang Dynasty: Taking the Empress Dowager to a brothel, Father Emperor, what a coincidence!

"Young General, a scout has reported."

A cavalryman galloped back from the front and stopped beside Cheng Chumo, shouting.

Cheng Chumo raised his hand, signaling the army to slow down.

"Tell me, what's going on up ahead?"

The scout clasped his hands and said:

"Ten miles ahead, there is a Silla army encamped. Judging from the flags, it should be a patrol, with about five thousand men."

It's right on the only road we can take to get to Eagle Falls Mountain.

A captain nearby leaned over and said:

"Young General, they are only five thousand Silla barbarians. I will lead two thousand brothers to charge straight over, and we will definitely wipe them all out in the time it takes for an incense stick to burn."

Cheng Chumo slapped the captain on the head:

"Screw you. What did His Highness tell us when we left? If something can be solved with gunpowder, don't risk our brothers' lives."

The captain said, feeling wronged:

"Then what should we do? We can't take a detour, can we? Taking a detour would mean several days of unnecessary travel, and the Duke can't wait that long."

Cheng Chumo's eyes darted around, and he suddenly chuckled.

That smile was exactly the same as the smile Cheng Yaojin gave before he tricked someone.

Why take the long way around? My father always taught me that all's fair in war.

Today we'll teach the Silla people a lesson.

"Give me a few quick-witted ones. Hurry up."

Soon, a dozen or so guards from the Duke of Lu's mansion ran over.

"Young General, what are your orders?"

Cheng Chumo pointed to their armor and said:

"They're all off."

The veterans were stunned for a moment, then quickly covered their chests:

"Young General, it's quite cold out here in the middle of nowhere..."

"Get lost! I don't like men."

Cheng Chumo laughed and scolded,

"Go to the logistics camp, find some tattered clothes to change into, smear some ash on your face, and disguise yourself as a lost refugee fleeing famine."

The veterans were all shrewd; they knew exactly what Cheng Chumo was planning as soon as they heard those words.

"Young General, are you going to resort to underhanded tactics?"

"What do you mean by underhanded? This is called tactics."

Cheng Chumo kicked the leading veteran.

"Go change quickly. You guys sneak into the Silla camp first and give me a good performance."

Half an hour later.

The outer perimeter of the Silla camp.

Several Silla soldiers were leaning against the wooden fence, yawning and holding spears.

"What bad luck, having to be sent out on guard duty in this freezing weather."

"A Silla soldier complained."

Just then, a dozen or so ragged figures suddenly emerged from the bushes not far away.

They helped each other walk toward the camp.

The Silla soldiers immediately became alert, raised their spears, and shouted:

"Who goes there? Stop right there."

The dozen or so refugees not only didn't stand there, but quickened their pace to return.

When the leading veteran was still a dozen steps away from the Silla soldiers, he suddenly collapsed in a dramatic fashion.

"Oh my god! Help! Murder! Silla barbarians are killing innocent citizens of the Tang Dynasty! This is outrageous!"

The other dozen or so veterans followed suit, falling to the ground and crying out.

"My God! The Silla people have made their move."

"To harm the innocent in broad daylight! Where are the soldiers of the Great Tang?"

The Silla soldiers were completely dumbfounded.

"Damn it...we didn't run into them."

Just as the Silla soldiers were completely bewildered.

A loud shout suddenly came from the distant horizon:

"You audacious Silla barbarians! How dare you harm my people in broad daylight? Do you think my Tang Dynasty has no one to rely on?"

Cheng Chumo took the lead and rushed out from behind the hillside.

"Brothers! Avenge the people of the Tang Dynasty! Kill them!"

"kill!"

Ten thousand Tang cavalrymen instantly launched an attack on the Silla camp from all directions.

The commander of the Silla camp had just crawled out of his tent, not even having fastened his belt, when a palm-sized grenade landed at his feet.

Boom boom boom!

A series of explosions rang out.

The Silla camp was instantly razed to the ground.

Ten thousand Tang cavalrymen swept through the enemy lines as if they were in an empty field, wiping out the five thousand men in the Silla camp in an instant.

"Don't linger! Go through."

After finishing the killing, Cheng Chumo waved his hand and shouted.

The Tang cavalry sped off towards the direction of Falling Eagle Mountain.

Only a few Silla women remained at the scene, too frightened to stand.

......

Falling Eagle Mountain.

Cheng Yaojin and his remaining troops have been trapped here for three days.

He now wishes he could slap himself.

In order to finish the battle quickly, he didn't bring any dry rations.

Who knew we'd get trapped?

However, Cheng Yaojin showed no fear whatsoever; on the contrary, he was quite excited.

To annoy the Silla garrison at the foot of the mountain, Cheng Yaojin would occasionally stand on the rocks at the summit and jump around wildly.

"His eldest uncle and his second uncle are both his uncles... The high table and the low stool are all made of wood..."

The bewitching sound echoed through the valley day and night.

Although the remnants of the Tang army were dizzy from hunger, they still tapped the backs of their swords against their shields to cheer for Cheng Yaojin.

"Your Highness sang well. Please sing another verse."

Cheng Yaojin got so into singing that he started dancing like a shaman.

"Heavenly spirits, earthly spirits, Laozi, please show your power and send down a divine thunderbolt from the heavens to strike those bastards down the mountain to death!"

Even after performing the shamanic ritual, Cheng Yaojin still felt unsatisfied.

He walked to the edge of the rock and pointed to an incredibly ugly clay figure.

This clay figure was just sculpted by Cheng Yaojin yesterday, supposedly modeled after Jin Chunqiu.

Furthermore, to make the mud more malleable, he had several hot-tempered boys urinate into it.

"Jin Chunqiu, you old bastard. The first thing I'll do when I get out of here is chop you up."

Down the mountain.

Silla's commander Kim Yu-sin looked at Cheng Yaojin on the mountaintop, feeling frustrated but helpless.

He had tried to break through these past two days, but each time he had to pay a huge price and still couldn't succeed.

"This is outrageous!"

Jin Gengxin pointed to the mountaintop and roared angrily.

"Pass on my order: the entire army will attack the mountain. I want to tear that fat, dark-skinned man to pieces."

The lieutenant beside him quickly stopped him:

"General, please calm down. The Tang army has occupied the mountaintop and possesses those explosive hidden weapons. We've launched at least three assaults in the past two days, but we haven't even reached the halfway point."

"Are we just going to let him humiliate us like this up there?"

Jin Gengxin roared, his eyes bloodshot.

"General, they have run out of water and food and won't last much longer. As long as we keep them surrounded, they will starve to death in less than three days."

Why must we use our soldiers' lives to pay for this?

The lieutenant pleaded desperately.

Jin Gengxin gritted his teeth and stared intently at Cheng Yaojin on the mountaintop:

"Alright! I'll wait three more days. When he's too hungry to get up, I'll skin him alive with my own hands."

Just when the Silla people were powerless and furious, and could only hold on to the encirclement.

Cheng Chumo led 10,000 cavalrymen and finally arrived at the outer perimeter.

The army stopped a few miles from the encirclement of Silla in Juli.

As Cheng Chumo rode on his horse, he could faintly hear a familiar voice coming from afar.

"Uncle... Uncle... Wood..."

Hearing that familiar voice, Cheng Chumo finally felt relieved.

He couldn't help but burst into laughter.

"Young General, what are you laughing at?"

The captain next to him asked, puzzled.

"Laugh at my dad's good fortune. Judging from that voice, the old man not only survived, but seems to be living quite comfortably."

Cheng Chumo drew his sword and pointed it at the Silla army camp ahead.

"Brothers, did you hear that? The Duke is putting on a grand opera for us up on the mountain."

Get your weapons out of the way, everyone. Today we're going to give the Silla people a big gift.

Let them know what price they'll pay for provoking the Great Tang Dynasty.