Tang Dynasty: Taking the Empress Dowager to a brothel, Father Emperor, what a coincidence!

Li Shimin felt that he was living a very pathetic life.

Hou Junji led his troops in rebellion, and the five clans and seven powerful families murdered their own father at home. Even his old brother Qin Qiong pretended to be dead to keep it a secret from him.

In the end, the suppression of the rebellion was commanded by the Crown Prince, the arrests were made by the Crown Prince, and even the situation in Da'an Palace was controlled by the Crown Prince.

Li Shimin plopped down on the ground:

"Father is right."

Li Shimin ripped off his hair ornament and threw it on the ground beside him.

"Being an emperor is really boring."

He looked up at Li Chengqian, who was terrified and frozen in the corner.

"Excellent. I will issue the edict at the Grand Court Assembly tomorrow in the Hall of Supreme Harmony."

"And while you're at it, move the imperial seal to the Eastern Palace. From now on, you'll be responsible for this mess."

Cheng Yaojin subtly nudged Li Ji beside him with his elbow, his dark face full of smug satisfaction, as if to say, "We're about to be promoted to veteran ministers who have served the emperor."

Qin Qiong also smiled at Li Chengqian.

To everyone's surprise, Li Chengqian stood up abruptly and waved his hands repeatedly:

"I won't do it!"

Li Shimin looked at Li Chengqian with surprise:

"What did you say?"

"Father, please don't harm me! Do you think this broken dragon throne is some kind of coveted prize?"

Li Chengqian began frantically shaking his head in refusal.

"Every day at the third quarter of the hour of Yin, I had to get up in the dark, and I could only swallow a mouthful of cold tea for breakfast. I would sit in the court for three hours at a time."

He would criticize those officials' grumbling memorials until midnight every day, spend a few dozen strings of cash on a barbecue, and the next morning at court, Wei Zheng and his gang of old men would spit in his face.

Every penny earned had to go into the national treasury. Even if they wanted to buy some new furniture for their own Eastern Palace, the Ministry of Revenue would still have to feign poverty.

Li Chengqian rolled his eyes.

"Getting up earlier than the rooster and going to bed later than the dog, never getting more than three hours of sleep a day—whoever does that will die young!"

If Li Shimin hadn't been sitting in front with a dark expression, Cheng Yaojin would have really wanted to give this Tang Dynasty crown prince a good whack on the head after hearing these words.

Li Yuan pointed at Li Chengqian and angrily cursed:

"You good-for-nothing."

People fought tooth and nail to build this empire.

"You're really something else, willing to throw the world away just to sleep in a few more hours?"

Li Shimin felt both joy and frustration.

Why did he feel like this unfilial son was pointing at a monk and cursing him?

"You have to answer it whether you want to or not."

Li Shimin gritted his teeth and roared,

"With tens of thousands of people from the Five Clans and Seven Families arrested this time, the entire Tang Dynasty's officialdom will surely be vacant by more than half."

Since you took the lead in these matters, you have to deal with them.

"Father, you are in your prime, why are you complaining of being tired?"

Li Chengqian quickly took two steps back, keeping a great distance from Li Shimin.

"Besides, our recycling network is so efficient that the assets of the five surnames and seven noble families have been confiscated, enough to fill the Tang Dynasty's treasury for at least ten years."

With plenty of food, drink, and money to spend, you can sit in Chang'an and indulge yourself to the fullest.

Li Yuan watched from the side as the father and son pushed and shoved each other.

A wave of sadness washed over me.

Why should I?

Why should my own son fight to the death over this broken chair?

Why is it that even this broken chair is being rejected by my own unfilial son?

Wouldn't this mean Li Yuan's wish to mock Li Shimin would be thwarted?

"So what do you want to do?"

Li Shimin pointed at Li Chengqian and asked,

"Do you spend all your time making little gadgets in your physics academy? Or do you take people out of town to barbecue with Old Cheng and the others every day?"

"How is that possible?"

Li Chengqian quickly said.

"Most of the corrupt officials in our Tang Dynasty have been imprisoned, and the remaining opportunists can't cause any trouble. But what about outside the Tang Dynasty?"

Li Chengqian pointed to the north outside the main hall.

"The Turks have millions of fat cattle and lean sheep, and the north is full of open-pit iron ore deposits. The Xueyantuo's horse farms are one after another."

You sit in this position as a stabilizing force, helping me keep these noisy officials in the court in check.

With Wei Zheng and the others nagging you, you'll be in charge of logistics and distributing money in Chang'an.

The more Li Shimin listened, the more he felt something was off.

This kid thinks he's treating the king of a country like a logistics manager who's escorting his grain supplies?

"And what about you?"

"I'm going to rob someone and claim territory."

Li Chengqian patted his chest:

"It would be such a waste to leave our 10,000-strong Royal Guard, along with such a fierce general as Uncle Qin, to stand at the gates of Chang'an every day and let them starve. They must go out and expand our territory."

Qin Qiong nodded to the side.

Which military general wouldn't want to die on horseback, wrapped in his own clothes?

This is a kind of romance unique to military generals.

Li Ji then asked:

"Your Highness, the matter of opening up the borders concerns the lives of countless soldiers."

The allocation of grain supplies and the exchange of official documents all require the central government to oversee them…

"That's why we asked Father to continue being emperor."

Li Chengqian shrugged:

"My son and I have a clear division of labor."

Father, if you desire fame, I will show you all the memorials from which all nations pay tribute, and you may freely take the Imperial Seal of the State and stamp it.

"I'll lead my troops out to conquer new territories, and we'll split the spoils 20/80—I'll get 20%, you get 80%, how about that?"

"The traitor!"

Enraged, Li Shimin grabbed a vermilion brush from the ground and threw it at the person.

It's unclear whether he did it on purpose or not.

The vermilion pen smashed directly into Cheng Yaojin's face.

Cheng Yaojin looked at Li Shimin with a wronged expression.

Li Shimin turned his head away, refusing to look at Cheng Yaojin.

"Jiro."

Li Yuan then spoke.

"Since Gao Ming has no intention of taking the throne now, you should sit properly in the court."

"That kid is right. If it weren't for you keeping those court officials in check in Chang'an, the moment he left the city, the impeachment memorials from the censors would have crushed the Crown Prince."