Tang Dynasty: Taking the Empress Dowager to a brothel, Father Emperor, what a coincidence!

"Hehehe! Your Majesty, let me go."

"I'm the perfect candidate for this kind of errand-running chore."

Cheng Yaojin walked out with a grin.

Li Shimin glanced at him.

Ever since Guanyinbi scolded him last time, that bastard has been keeping a low profile.

He's taking the initiative to step forward, probably because he wants to sneak out for some fresh air.

only......

Li Shimin's gaze shifted to Yuchi Jingde.

The most suitable candidate in his mind was actually Li Ji, but Li Ji was unable to leave at the moment.

"Your Majesty! Old Hei is currently unable to leave Chang'an City."

Cheng Yaojin noticed that Li Shimin's gaze had shifted, and he hurriedly shouted.

Just as Yuchi Jingde was about to stand up and refute, Cheng Yaojin's small hand was already on Yuchi Jingde's waist.

He used the techniques taught by his wife, Professor Cui, with remarkable skill.

Yuchi Jingde was in so much pain that he stood up abruptly.

He turned his head and looked at Cheng Yaojin in disbelief.

When did this bastard learn this trick?

"Your Majesty, Old Hei's wife is about to give birth. If you make him leave now, wouldn't that mean Old Hei will never see his unborn son? You are so wise and powerful, you certainly wouldn't do such a despicable thing, right?"

Li Shimin looked at Yuchi Jingde with suspicion.

Wasn't his youngest son just born not long ago? Is he about to have another baby?

Cheng Yaojin leaned close to Yuchi Jingde's ear and whispered:

"Old Hei, let me go this time. I'll cover your expenses in Pingkangfang for a month."

Yuchi Jingde's eyes widened instantly.

Is this really true?

"Don't worry, when have I ever been unreliable?"

Upon hearing Cheng Yaojin's assurance, Yuchi Jingde looked at Li Shimin and said:

"Your Majesty, my wife is about to give birth. But if Your Majesty insists on sending me, I am willing to risk losing my wife and children..."

Li Shimin's face instantly darkened.

What do you mean? In your heart, am I such an unreasonable person?

"In that case, Cheng Zhijie, you will take five hundred elite cavalrymen to escort Wei Zheng to Pingzhou."

Li Shimin rubbed his temples, feeling utterly exhausted.

"Remember! Once we get there, get rid of the Crown Prince first, don't let him delay the important expedition."

"Alright! Your Majesty, you can rest assured. If the Crown Prince dares to disobey, I'll hang him upside down and spank him."

Cheng Yaojin laughed loudly, grabbed Wei Zheng, and ran outside.

A few days later.

On the wasteland outside Pingzhou City.

Wei Zheng climbed down from his horse and glared angrily at Cheng Yaojin in front of him.

That bastard didn't stop at all the way.

Once he left Chang'an, he was like a wild donkey that had broken free of its reins; my words were nothing but farts to him.

The bumpy ride almost broke my back.

"Hey Wei, look, your job's here."

Cheng Yaojin suddenly pointed at the camp ahead and shouted at Wei Zheng.

Wei Zheng looked up and saw that in the tents in front of him, 100,000 soldiers were lying haphazardly on the ground, sunbathing.

Some people were picking their toes, some were having sex, and they didn't look like a proper soldier at all.

"Absurd! Utterly absurd."

Wei Zheng angrily cursed.

The anger that was about to be directed at Cheng Yaojin instantly shifted to the camp.

Cheng Yaojin noticed that Wei Zheng's attention had shifted.

He immediately came over and said:

"Old Wei, the soldiers are just taking a break, don't worry about them too much, after all, it's His Highness the Crown Prince..."

I think that although you dare to criticize His Majesty, the Crown Prince...

Wei Zheng ignored him and charged straight toward the central command tent.

Cheng Yaojin hurriedly followed behind.

There's already a show to watch as soon as he arrives, how could we leave him out?

When Wei Zheng rushed into the tent, he saw Li Chengqian sitting cross-legged, playing chess with Li Jing.

"Uncle Li, will you let me back out?"

Li Chengqian cheated by holding up a chess piece.

"Your Highness..."

"Your Highness!"

Wei Zheng suddenly shouted.

Li Chengqian was so shocked by Wei Zheng's shout that he collapsed onto the chessboard.

The chess pieces on top were swept off and fell to the ground.

"Oh dear! Lord Wei, look what you've done!"

Uncle Li, let's call it a day.

Li Chengqian stood up and gave Wei Zheng a reproachful look.

But the smile at the corner of his mouth made Li Jing's eyelids twitch.

This ability to cheat is definitely hereditary.

"His Majesty has decreed that I take over the Pingzhou case. Your Highness the Crown Prince must immediately lead the army to Liaodong, without delay."

Li Chengqian looked at Wei Zheng with a puzzled expression and asked:

"Duke of Zheng, have you read this decree to the wrong place?"

Wei Zheng said with a stern face:

"Your Highness, the account books of the Anping County Magistrate have already been delivered to Ganlu Palace. Are you still going to play dumb?"

Li Chengqian threw down the chess piece in his hand, spread his hands, and said:

"What ledger? I just happened to be passing through Anping County and picked up a small notebook by the roadside. I thought the handwriting on it was so ugly that it was unparalleled in history, so I just sent it to Father Emperor to amuse him."

As for that case, I've never even heard of it.

Li Jing pinched his thigh, desperately trying to suppress his laughter.

Cheng Yaojin stared wide-eyed at Li Chengqian from behind Wei Zheng, and even secretly gave him a thumbs up.

my darling!

He really learned something new today.

So this is what it means to lie through your teeth.

Wei Zheng, enraged, pointed at Li Chengqian's nose and roared:

"You led troops to surround the county government office, and beheaded an official appointed by the imperial court in the street. Now you say you don't know what happened?"

Li Chengqian ignored Wei Zheng and instead turned to Li Jing, asking:

"Uncle Li, did we surround the county government office? Did we kill the magistrate?"

Li Jing was drinking water from his teacup when he heard this, and his hand trembled so much that he almost dropped the teacup.

This is your own doing, and now you want to shift the blame?

"Your Highness, this old minister..."

Li Jing was about to explain when Li Chengqian interrupted him.

Li Chengqian then said to Wei Zheng:

"Duke Zheng, you see the army has stopped here. It's because Commander Li is showing consideration for the soldiers."

He said everyone was exhausted from traveling for days and needed to stop and rest properly. This would help them maintain their fighting strength.

"I am merely a nominal commander-in-chief; how dare I interfere in military affairs?"

Li Jing opened his mouth but couldn't utter a single word.

He realized that he would have to take the blame today, whether he wanted to or not.

Wei Zheng turned around and glared at Cheng Yaojin in anger.

That bastard's mouth was chattering nonstop the whole way, how come he doesn't dare to utter a single fart now?

As a result, Cheng Yaojin didn't even glance at him.

Cheng Yaojin was exchanging winks with Cheng Chumo, who was sitting in the corner of the tent.

"Duke Lu! You've come to deliver an imperial decree, not to visit relatives."

Wei Zheng roared in anger.

Cheng Yaojin looked at Wei Zheng nonchalantly and said:

"Old Wei, what are you yelling about? Li Jing is right, a couple more days won't make a difference in the war. Let the kids catch their breath, okay?"

Just as Wei Zheng was about to explode, Cheng Chumo obediently picked up a large bowl from the side and walked over.

"Uncle Wei, Dad, you must be hungry after coming all this way."

It's mealtime, let's try our special frontline rations.

How could Cheng Yaojin not know his own son well?

Nothing to do is to commit crimes or to steal.

He didn't even move.

In contrast, Wei Zheng looked down and saw that the bowl contained a yellowish-brown powder that looked similar to leftover rice bran.

To demonstrate his willingness to share weal and woe with his soldiers, he snatched the wooden spoon from Cheng Chumo's hand without saying a word.

I scooped up a big spoonful and stuffed it directly into my mouth.

Upon seeing Wei Zheng's actions, both Li Chengqian and Li Jing covered their eyes.

Cheng Yaojin, looking at Wei Zheng with curiosity, ran up to him.

Wei Zheng's face turned purplish-red in an instant.

He clutched his own neck with both hands, and powder sprayed from his nostrils and mouth.

"Water...water..."

Li Jing quickly grabbed the kettle from the table and handed it over.

Wei Zheng picked up the kettle and filled it halfway with water.

Only then did he manage to swallow the fried noodles that were stuck in his throat.

"Hahaha!"

Cheng Yaojin pointed at Wei Zheng and burst into laughter.

"Wei the jerk, if you don't know how to eat properly, don't try to show off. Now look what happened, you almost killed yourself while trying to eat something."

After recovering, Wei Zheng looked at Cheng Chumo with resentment:

"Kid, if I remember correctly, you applied to join the Golden Guard, right?"

"Just you wait. As long as I'm in the imperial court, you'll never set foot in the palace again."

Cheng Yaojin was stunned.

Cheng Chumo was dumbfounded.

Li Chengqian and Li Jing exchanged a glance and then burst into laughter.

Serves you right!