From street beggar to high-ranking official

"Here is your contract. Take a look at it yourself."

"Grandpa...Grandpa, I can't read." On the dirty snow in the street, the filthy beggar kowtowed, using his street begging skills.

The eunuch in front of him gave a strange snort, didn't even glance at the document, and asked in a recitation-like manner:

"But voluntarily?"

"voluntary."

"Do you still want to back out?"

"No regrets."

"In the first month of the twenty-third year of Yongxi of the Great Qian Dynasty... I voluntarily castrate myself, regardless of life or death..." The eunuch spoke faster and faster, even controlling the beggar's hand to sign and affix his seal.

"What's your name?" The eunuch frowned slightly. The beggar in front of him spoke unclearly: "Surname Lu? Lu the Beast or Lu the Ear-Knife?"

The beggar's hand was held, and the eunuch's voice became increasingly magical, so much so that he couldn't utter a single word for a moment. The more he stammered, the less the eunuch cared to listen. He forced the beggar's hand to write something down and press his fingerprint on it.

"Father-in-law, what character is this?"

"Lu Li!"

......

Lu Li was led into the palace in a daze. He only remembered that when he was leaving, his father forced the few taels of silver he had been sold into indenture into his hand.

"My child, live well!"

......

After entering a dimly lit room and drinking a bowl of soup, he was startled awake by the eunuch holding a small knife. He fainted again with excruciating pain, only to wake up in bed covered in foul-smelling sweat.

His dim vision gradually cleared, and it wasn't until the pain in his lower body came that Lu Li remembered where he was.

I'm in the palace now!

The teenager looked around the spacious, luxurious room with unease. He noticed the wooden nameplate hanging above the bed with his name engraved on it, and then tugged at his robes and bedding.

As far back as I can remember, I've only ever seen this kind of thing on landlords; today, I'm wearing it myself.

The room wasn't actually luxurious; it had four large beds, an eight-immortal table with matching benches and painted cabinets, simple cotton quilts and coarse cloth robes—a setup that even well-off families could afford.

But Lu Li had never slept in such a place before. When he was begging, he was lucky to find a dilapidated temple. So he thought he could afford to live the life of a nobleman.

For important people, their beds are definitely bigger and their rooms are definitely bigger!

Lu Li was still young and didn't understand matters of marriage and procreation. In his mind, having his eggs removed was no different from cutting off his fingers. Exchanging two eggs for the same treatment as a nobleman—what could be more worthwhile in the world?!

He kowtowed and begged in the streets, kowtowing all the way from south to north, and even after kowtowing for half his life, he might not be able to afford a house like this.

"Coo coo~"

My stomach started growling uncontrollably.

The joy at his current treatment was quickly overwhelmed by the familiar hunger. Lu Li groped his way out of bed, slipped on his cloth shoes, and walked out of the main room, soon encountering a crowd.

"Brother, where is the kitchen?" Lu Li bowed and asked a boy who looked somewhat kind, but the boy only gave Lu Li a cold look, didn't answer, and walked away.

Lu Li felt uncomfortable being stared at, but he just smiled. He was thick-skinned and had been begging for many years, so he had his own eye and experience. He had obtained his place in the palace by kowtowing.

Since I'm new here, I should speak more humbly and make sure my auspicious words are pleasant to hear.

The other party ignored him, perhaps due to the wrong posture or the wrong words. Lu Li recalled the eunuch he had seen when signing the document, and then noticed a young man in the crowd with an unpredictable expression bowing and asking, "Esteemed sir, where is the kitchen?"

The cold-faced young man, who was walking by himself, was taken aback by Lu Li's question: "My name is Xiao Dezi, not some kind of eunuch."

The question was only two words different, but the response Lu Li received was completely different.

"Eunuch De!" said Lu Li solicitously.

"Eunuch De" almost curled his lips into a smile, then, after savoring the taste, pointed at the crowd: "This servant is going to eat. Let's go together. You've come at just the right time, haven't you? Just arrived at the palace?"

Lu Li immediately nodded in agreement, and taking advantage of the other party's good mood, he quickly followed up and asked, "Eunuch De, what does this nickname mean?"

There are no people with minor surnames in the world. Lu Li is not familiar with the common surnames, but he is well-informed and has never heard of anyone with a minor surname while begging on the street.

Xiao Dezi responded comfortably, his previously unpredictable expression completely disappearing: "People like us, without roots, neither male nor female, neither yin nor yang, are not allowed to be addressed by our real names, let alone be called brothers. Those with a better temper will simply ignore you, but if they are in a bad mood, you will offend them on the spot! If you are like us in our coarse gray clothes, you can be addressed as equals. But if you encounter an official in official robes, you must respectfully address him as 'Eunuch'."

Lu Li then realized his mistake and regretted that he had said the wrong thing.

If I ever run into that boy again, I'll call him "Father-in-law" a few more times and apologize!

Following Xiao Dezi, Lu Li asked him many questions, which Xiao Dezi answered readily. He soon learned that he was now in the Inner Palace Attendants' Office, a place specifically for training new eunuchs. In the palace, he could only address himself in a derogatory way, calling himself a servant when meeting nobles and addressing officials as "this humble servant." He could not use "I" in ordinary conversations, but rather "we."

Eunuchs were servants of the imperial family, and the different titles they were given reflected the strict rules and regulations.

"Then I'll be Little Lu!"

After passing through several palace walls, Lu Li counted the water vats that appeared from time to time on both sides of the palace walls, and then they arrived at the kitchen.

Following Xiao Dezi, Lu Li took out clean bowls and chopsticks from the cupboard to serve porridge. As if he had arrived early, Lu Li served himself a large bowl of rice porridge, which he even mixed with some crisp and salty vegetables for a refreshing taste.

Lu Li took only a small sip, and almost cried.

In the past, the rice was either mixed with sand or the porridge was so thick that you could see your reflection in it. You either had a mouthful of grit or couldn't even get enough water to drink. I've never had such a full bowl of porridge before.

He dared not gulp down the porridge. In previous years, when the government distributed porridge to relieve disasters, there were quite a few strongmen who choked to death by forcibly taking other people's thin porridge. True beggars all knew that whether it was rice porridge or white flour buns, chewing and swallowing in small bites would make them feel fuller.

The eunuchs in the kitchen rarely ate together, and few people noticed that Lu Li's first full meal was rice porridge eaten with tears.

Lu Li walked out of the kitchen with a heart full of happiness, and before leaving, he took three extra pancakes with him.

It's incredibly filling to eat with soup!

As a newcomer, Lu Li dared not venture into other areas at will. Xiao Dezi had long since left, so he had no choice but to head back to his original room.

As soon as he entered, he saw three other teenagers, about the same age as him, massaging each other's shoulders and backs.

"Young Master Lu greets all the eunuchs." As soon as Lu entered, he bowed and greeted them.

"Hey! This one can talk." The boy in the lead was pale, with a smile that seemed to be on his lips at all times: "My name is Xiao Fengzi, and these are Xiao Yuzi and Xiao Shunzi."

Xiao Shunzi and Xiao Yuzi nodded in succession, indicating that they had met. The former had dark circles under his eyes, as if he hadn't slept for a long time; the latter had no special features and could be easily lost in a crowd.

The eight-immortal table had exactly four long benches. Xiao Fengzi greeted them with a smile, "Is this a new batch of students? Xiao Lu, come and sit down. We're classmates, so let's get to know each other better."

Lu Li sat down as instructed, not saying much at the table. What would a beggar like him know about palace affairs? He naturally wanted to listen and observe more.

I only learned from Xiao Fengzi that the Inner Palace Office was divided into twelve directorates. The eunuchs who sold themselves into the palace had half a year to learn the rules. Those who learned well were assigned to good areas, such as the Directorate of Ceremonial Affairs, the Directorate of Imperial Cuisine, and the Directorate of Imperial Supplies, where they could see the emperor's face almost every day. Those who did not learn well were assigned to the Directorate of Palace Attendants or the Directorate of Divine Officials, where they either swept the streets, washed chamber pots, or guarded the Imperial Ancestral Temple and gardens.

Let alone seeing the emperor, you might not see a stranger for ten days or half a month!

"Even if we don't learn well, we can still rise to prominence by climbing the social ladder," Xiao Shunzi said, talking about his studies as a palace eunuch.

"That's right. Even if you can't read or practice martial arts, it won't stop you from washing chamber pots and emptying chamber pots. But if you don't learn the rules, that's when it'll really kill you," Xiaoyuzi said expressionlessly.

"What if you don't learn the rules well, Eunuch Yu?" Lu asked curiously.

I wouldn't say I'm completely illiterate, but I'm pretty much illiterate. I heard from my grandfather that if I want to climb the social ladder, I need to be literate. How can I possibly keep up in six months?

"If you can't even learn the rules... hehehe..." Xiao Shunzi suddenly chuckled sinisterly, "The best you can do is get kicked out of the palace and work as a woodcutter, coal miner, charcoal collector, or ice harvester. If you displease a nobleman, your head will fall off and no one will even collect it!"

After he finished speaking, not only Xiao Shunzi, but also Xiao Fengzi and Xiao Yuzi laughed, as if they had thought of something funny. The three of them laughed in a malicious manner, which made Lu Li very uncomfortable.

Lu Li was all too familiar with that laughter. Whenever he begged on the street, someone would come and humiliate him, either a well-dressed child would throw stones at him, or a beggar with missing limbs would snatch his copper coins.

Perhaps Xiao Fengzi and the other two were laughing at a certain eunuch who couldn't learn the rules.

Although Lu Li was young, he could tell that eunuchs seemed to like to treat people differently based on their status, or rather, they were snobbish.

However, he wasn't too surprised by this.

The same applies to begging on the street; one must be able to read between the lines. A gambler who swears must talk about making a fortune, while a refined scholar must sing of passing the imperial examinations today.

If you can't read between the lines and know how to treat people appropriately, how will you ever get ahead?

It wasn't until the three of them left that Lu Li recalled the scene before entering the palace. He was sweating profusely as he searched the room, looking inside and out, and over and under the bed, several times.

"Where did the money my father gave me go!"